Careless Heart
by Luckystarz910
Summary: Betrayal. That's the one word that says it all. Austin does something that Ally never thought would happen causing serious issues between them. Ally's about to rise to the top as Ramone Records hottest artist. Is she going to lose herself completely or show everyone what she's made of? Can Austin win her over is someone else going to Steal Her Heart? Story is on the longer side.
1. Things Fall Apart

**Hey loves, at the request of one of my friends Romancesand2ndchances I decided to start writing again. She assisted me with the current title of this story while brainstorming together. I also have no idea how long this story is going to be, but I do have a plan of course. **

**Now knowing how I feel about the characters in general, my style, this will be very angsty. If you question who I ship..well it's in my bio, but this is not going to be an easy road ahead for Auslly. Also, possibly not the ending everyone might predict. There's going to be a lot of drama and other people involved in this story. So it's all about the journey and finding themselves and ultimately if they can find their ways back to one another. As for the point of views: Ally, Austin, Dez throughout the story. This is Ally's story! :)**

** I hope that you guys enjoy this, without further ado Chapter 1 of Careless Heart.**

**WARNING: Characters may be Out of Character so don't be surprised when it happens.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel.**

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**Careless Heart**

**Ally's POV - Flashback**

**This isn't how everything was supposed to happen. I just stormed out of the practice room, ran to my red convertible to head home. Well, at least that's where I thought I was going, but I stopped somewhere else first.**

**Earlier that Day**

**I received a call from Jimmy Starr and he asked me to come down to his office and requested for Austin and I to meet him there. I didn't really think anything of it since Austin and I on occasion have to meet with Jimmy to discuss recordings and give him the newer songs to be put on Austin's albums. I got ready and text Austin to meet me at Starr Records because Jimmy wanted to speak with both of us. The drive over was just the usual sunny and beautiful day in Miami. I was cruising with the top down on the convertible listening to Pink's latest song. After about ten minutes I reached Starr Records. I walk up to the receptionist, she pages Jimmy to let him know that I'm here.**

"Hello Ally." **Jimmy greets me and I turn to see Austin looking down and running in right after me into Jimmy's office.**

"Both of you. Have a seat." **Austin and I sit down in the two chairs in front of Jimmy's desk spaced fairly evenly apart.**

"Now Ally. I'm sure you are wondering why you are here." **I fidget in my blue cotton clue dress and try to get comfortable and not look nervous, but that was an epic fail.**

**I nod my head slowly, glance over at Austin who won't even look at me.** "Austin has something to tell you Ally." **He won't look at me, I actually look really cute in this dress. Go figure. **

"Austin? Austin look at me. Just say whatever it is you have to say." **I reach out to touch his hand, when he turns he looks at me with a look I've never seen before. His eyes are just cold, there's not an ounce of warmth in them. Absolutely zero.**

_Oh my God. This can't be good._

"Ally, I don't want you to be my songwriter anymore." **I froze.** _Did he really just say what I think he said? _**I don't say anything for a few minutes because I'm trying to wrap my head around all of this.**

"I've already found another songwriter and Jimmy and I have already hired her."

"Her?" **I swear it's like that was the only word that my brain wanted to hear at the moment. Call it selective listening, that's where my heart broke. Austin's replacing me with another female songwriter, who I'm sure he'll want to get into a relationship with. Oh god, I can't believe any of this. **

"Ally it's nothing personal." **Jimmy says,** "It's just business. You and Austin aren't writing songs the way that you used to, and he's just not happy with your 'partnership' anymore."

**I hold back the tears that want to fall from my eyes and look at both Jimmy and Austin in complete disbelief. **"Austin? Is this all true." **He nods his head and I've decided that I've heard enough. **

_Nodding his head, he can't just fucking tell me a Yes confidently. Wtf! I deserve better than this. Ugh, there I go unintentionally using one of his song titles._

**Jimmy speaks up, **"Ally, I'm sorry but consider this your termination. Good luck to you in your future endeavors."

_Wow, well that was so impersonal and cold there are just no words.__  
_

_ Don't blow up at Jimmy Ally, this is all on Austin. _**You're right. **

"Thank you Jimmy for at least having enough respect to call me in and not tell me this over the phone. I appreciate it, it was nice doing business with you. Thank you. Good luck to you and Austin as well."

**I didn't mean it, but I am always poised and these two men don't deserve to see my pain. I'll just use it for writing my own songs. I'll use the anger and pain I'm feeling now to write meaningful and awesome songs.**

_You're doing great Ally, just keep your cool for now. I know it's hard, but that's what you have me for. I have your back._

**_Well, at least someone does.__ I think to myself._**

**I'm faltering and starting to lose and ****try to keep my composure and realize that I need to get out of here. I get up from my chair, and Austin grabs my arm. **

**I ****glare at him and say,** "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME. I'm going to do you a favor by not causing a scene here and embarrassing you. If I were you I'd heed my warning and let me the fuck go." **It was only loud enough for him to hear as I said it into his ear.**

** I turn towards Jimmy, shake his hand. I give him one last convincing smile and then I rip my arm out of Austin's grasp and walk out the door. What was I feeling you might ask?**

Betrayed.

**I finally get to my car, hear Austin screaming and running like he's in a marathon.**

"ALLY!"

**I get into my car and slam the door shut. Austin starts banging on the window, as I start to put my top back down in my car. Once the top is down he jumps over the door and into the passenger seat.**

"I have nothing to say to you Austin." **I reach over to my passenger door and physically open the door for him motioning for him to get out.**

"Ally. I need to talk to you. Baby please." **He's pleading with me,** _God he's pathetic._** Nothing he could say is going to get me to listen now, because as of right now I don't give a flying fuck and really don't care what he has to say.**

"What did you just call me?"

"Baby, Please just listen to me." **Again pleading, seriously this is fucking pathetic even for Austin. Washed up Austin Moon. We'll see how well he does with a new songwriter. She won't know him the way that I do, like right now Austin calling me 'Baby' because he knows that he's in the doghouse.**

" You've said more than enough to me today Austin. OH, AND I'M NOT YOUR BABY SINCE YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH TO JUST FUCKING ADMIT THAT YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR NOW."

"Yes, you are. You-"

**I cut him off.**

"Too little too late."

**He sighs and gets out of my car, but before he does he reaches for my hand again.** _Is he out of his fucking mind?_

**Once he shuts my door and ****I see him walking over to his own car and ****I speed off creating skids in the parking lot. When he's out of my line of sight I let all of my feelings out.**

Anger. Sadness. Betrayal. Love.

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT AUSTIN! I WISH THAT I DIDN'T LOVE YOU!

**I scream out in frustration into the wind while on the highway. I don't even have a destination. Where should I go? I just want to be alone. Well, okay not completely alone. I need to vent to someone about how stupid I was for believing that Austin was genuine.**

* * *

**I pick up my cell phone to call Dez, yes Dez. I can't call Trish right now, for all I know she's betrayed me too and possibly already knew about this. I dial his number, the phone starts to ring, he picks up on the second ring,**

"Hey Ally. What's up?" **Dez says cheerily.**

**I just start crying into the phone and his tone immediately changes.** "Ally?Ally? What's wrong? Please tell me. Can you hold on a second Austin's calling?"

"No Dez! Fuck Austin. I need you right now." **I scream through the tears streaming down my face and feeling my voice heighten and then slowly start to disappear in an instant. **

"Wow, what happened? You sound really upset so this must be serious."

"It is. Dez I need you to come find me. Don't tell Austin or Trish anything. Just I need you. Please come find me."

**I know what you're thinking. Dez? Really? Yes, he's my friend too. Things were awkward with us in the earlier years of our friendship, but we've had the opportunity to spend time together alone and I actually enjoy it.**

"Ally. Ally where are you? You're scaring me." _Shit, I didn't mean to scare him. _

"Right now I'm on the highway Dez. I have no idea where I'm going or what my destination is."

"Uh, then how am I supposed to find you?"** He deadpans.**

"You know me well enough to know where I would go." **I say to him with some edge to my voice, but I mean can you blame me? I never thought in a million years my best friend, who yes I have a complicated relationship/friendship with just tossed me into the middle of the ocean without a life jacket.**

"Oh alright. Well just be careful driving. I don't want you driving reckless or being careless." **I can tell that he's being genuine in what he says, at least I know someone can be real with me.**

:I'm not the one who is careless." **I mutter under my breath.**

"What did you say, your phone is cutting out Ally?" _Crap, I need to cover what I just said, well at least for now._

"It's nothing Dez. I'm pulling into the parking lot. I'll see you soon?"

"I'm on my way Ally. I think I know where you're headed and don't worry I won't say anything to Austin or Trish. It'll just be between us."

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**Dez's POV**

**I look down at my phone again and see that I have multiple text messages from Austin.**

From Austin:

Have you heard from Ally or Trish? I FUCKED UP MAN REALLY REALLY BAD!

From Austin:

I NEED YOUR HELP!

From Austin:

DEZ PLEASE ANSWER ME!

**I read all of Austin's texts and should I have responded, yes but you know what...Ally sounded really upset and she's my friend too. We've grown a lot closer over the past few years. She's drop dead gorgeous, I swear she gets even prettier as each day passes. **_Stop it Dez! Focus! **I say to myself. Now where was I? Oh right. Yes, Austin's my best friend and he probably always will be, but right now Ally needs me. She actually said that she needs me, I never thought that I'd see the day where I'm the one she preferred out of all three of us. She said that she couldn't call Trish, so I wonder what's up. Well, I didn't actually ask her that, but she told me to not tell Austin or Trish anything, so I just assumed that she felt that she couldn't. I walk to my car, get in and drive to the place where I think Ally might be. Actually, it could be a few places, but I doubt that she's in the practice room at Sonic Boom right now if she's trying to avoid Austin. So that also means Mini's is out of the question as well. She hasn't been to Champy's in a while, but if she wants to be alone then she'll go somewhere where it's likely to be hidden and out of the way. Oh, I know.**_

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**A/N: Reviews are appreciated! Let me know what you guys think, yes I left you with a cliffhanger. This is how I roll ;-) xoxo**


	2. For Every Action, There's A Reaction

**Thanks for all the reviews, support. I really appreciate it. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel. I don't own any song lyrics below either.**

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**Austin's POV**

**I reach my car, I hear Ally's car peeling out of the parking lot. I have no idea where she's going and I just hope that she's being careful. She's really pissed, so I think she's reckless driving. Fuck, what am I going to do? I'll call Trish first I suppose, for the record no Trish had no idea that I was going to fire Ally as my songwriter.**

**I pick up my phone, dial Trish's number. It starts to ring and she finally picks up on the third ring.**

"Austin? Why are you calling me? Aren't you with Ally right now?"

"No Trish! I'm not. Listen, I fired Ally as my songwriter today. I had Jimmy call both Ally and I into his office and I hired another songwriter."

**She is absolutely silent,** "Trish?"

"Austin. You realize that I'm your manager and you didn't even consult me on this right?"

"Trish, I knew that you would try to talk me out of this. It's just that I met this beautiful girl and she writes songs, and -"

"Did you actually look at any of the songs that she has written before you hired her?"

"Well.. No."

"So let me get this straight. You fire your best friend for another songwriter, yet you don't even know if she's good at songwriting? Austin, this was completely a careless decision on your part. Do you care about anyone other than yourself? Oh my God, Ally. I need to call her. I'm hanging up."

"Wait Trish." **Before I could even get that out she hung up, I could only assume that she's blowing up Ally's phone right now. Damn, that's it. I'm calling Dez.**

**I call Dez, it just keeps ringing, I can tell that he's on the other line with someone. Maybe Trish? Oh well, I guess I'll, just text him and wait for a response. Time has passed, holy shit I see that it's ****Only een thirty minutes and Dez has yet to respond to me. Shit, well I better go find Ally, I know that it's probably ill-advised but I just need to talk to her and explain to her everything.**

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**Ally's POV**

**Where's Dez? I hope that he gets here soon. God Austin's just called me fifteen times in a row, now I'm getting text messages from him.**

From Austin:

Ally, please talk to me?

From Austin:

I'm begging you just let me explain.

From Austin:

I guess you hate me now. Please say something. Anything.

From Austin:

Baby, I'm worried. I'm coming to find you.

**And those are just the most recent ones. I wonder if he's high or something not that he would be, but you know what I mean. What makes him think I even want to talk to him again let alone want to see him at any point in the near future.**

_God, why am I even here to begin with?_

* * *

**Flashback**

**Austin and I decided that we should get to know each other better, so we could connect when writing our songs and become actual friends. It all started when I wrote a song that didn't sound like him. He was supposed to do it for a webcast, he avoided it completely the entire time. Then, he told me that he didn't perform the song because he hated it. Ouch right? I thought that my songwriting was good enough and that he liked it. So, he suggested that we hang out and start doing things together, which we did. We went cloud watching and he just wasn't using his imagination and seeing what the clouds actually were, I mean a Bunny on a bicycle. Am I right? Even Dez knew that it was a bunny on a bicycle and he doesn't even cloud watch at all. Austin thought it was a snowman eating marshmallows, that's nowhere near a bunny whatsoever. Austin then took me to a horror convention, where the movie theater was featuring " Swamp Bride". Seriously, horror movies bore me a lot. We had just left the Swamp Bride movie, and the swamp monster ate the bridesmaids. Tell me again how that's funny?**

**So after we left the movie, I took Austin to the mall pond I even introduced him to Pickles the goose. **

_"Don't you think he's cute?" _**I remember smiling at him because Pickles is seriously adorable.**

**Austin responded with, **" _I guess."_

**Pickles honks at Austin. Austin puts his hands up in surrender, **_"Okay, you're cute."_

**After spending time with Austin, even though we were young honestly I felt an instant attraction to him. It's just it took me a while to realize and well act on my feelings, but we all know how that went. Well anyways, you might be wondering why the mall pond?**

**Austin says excitedly, **_" Awesome. I never thought I'd see Ally Dawson, dressed as a swamp bride, stealing a goose, and running from a security guard."_

**I looked at him confused, **_"I'm not running from a security guard."_

**Austin responded with, **_"Well you should be."_

**The guard yelled freeze**, "_Freeze!" __**so I hid Pickles in my dress. I had to I mean Pickles helped me when I was having writers block and my inspiration to write songs after all**__. _

**I actually protested and stopped the mall from putting a parking lot there, convinced them to keep the pond, move the parking lot next to the mall pond and not over it. Besides, it's my special place and truthfully Austin's the only one that I ever brought here. I just wanted to connect with him so badly especially when I saw how shutter Trish and Dez had more things in common.**

**Once Austin and I connected and we were happy that we got to hang out and know each other a little better, I told him, "**_I've got a new goose. His name is Austin."_

**Austin totally clueless said, "**_Cool! You named a goose after me? Where is he?"_

**I smiled, tried to ignore his obliviousness, "**_It's you. You're my goose."_

**_End Flashback._**

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_Well, he was. **I start to cry again, but immediately put myself in check, stop myself from crying.** Okay, Ally you're only allowed to cry for one day and then we're going to toughen you up and show everyone what you're really made of. _

** I can't believe that I'm sitting here reminiscing, but I guess that I should have expected that since this is where I came right? It was actually really upsetting everything that happened today, I really hope that Dez finds me. I mean Austin had to have mentioned this place to Dez at some point right?**

**I'm pulled out of my thoughts when my phone starts ringing. Okay Ally, it's time to regain your composure. I look down at my phone and see that Ronnie Ramone, the head of my record label is calling me. I'm just about finished with my album and I have a few more songs to write. I pick up instantly.**

"Hello Ronnie. It's nice to hear from you." **I say to him.** "Yes, wait you want me go on tour? Internationally? Who's opening up for me? Oh well, we can discuss that later. When do you want me to leave? Really? Yeah, nothing's holding me back. I need to just go home and pack. Oh, Ronnie I'm going to bring someone with me if that's okay. You're getting me a private jet? Thank you!"

**He tells me that it is fine to bring someone with me, when I hang up the phone I look up and see Dez is standing right in front of me. I don't know what it is, but he looks really handsome right now. See I've gotten used to his eccentric attire over the years, but he's actually toned it down quite a bit. Dez, well he's so smart. He's a lot more intelligent than people give him credit for, I can't believe that Carrie actually broke up with him a few months ago.**

**He walks over to me, I stand up and lose my tough exterior and start crying my eyes out. He opens his arms and pulls me in for a hug and he kisses my hair. At least I have one friend right now. **

"I got here as soon as I could. Ally what happened?"

"Oh Dez. It's awful. Austin fired me as his songwriter."** I choked through my sobs.**

"HE WHAT?! Of all the stupid things he could possibly do!" **I can see Dez get instantly mad as he starts to clench his fists. **"How could he do that to you?"

"He didn't call you again did he?" **I ask quietly through my falling tears.**

"No, he just blew up my phone with text messages see." **Dez shows me the most urgent texts from Austin.**

"I'm not surprised. He's called me about fifteen times already." **We go to sit on the bench, my phone starts ringing again. I immediately recognize Austin's ringtone **

* * *

**Colby Caillat: _Realize._**

_It's not the same,_  
_No, it's never the same_  
_If you don't feel it too._  
_If you meet me halfway,_  
_If you would meet me halfway,_  
_It could be the same for you._

_If you just realize what I just realized_  
_Then we'd be perfect for each other,_  
_And we'll never find another._  
_Just realize what I just realized._  
_We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other._  
_Just realize what I just realized._  
_If you just realize what I just realized._

* * *

**I see that I ****have five missed calls from Trish and it's like her and Austin are taking turns blowing up my phone.**

"Ugh!"** I say in frustration, Dez offers to answer the phone for me obviously noting that it's Austin's specific ringtone because it's going off incessantly, but I refuse to let him pick it up. I look into his eyes.**

"No, I need to tell you everything. I'm just so beyond hurt Dez. I can't believe that he did this to me, you know this is my worst nightmare. Then, like an asshole he chased after me and got into my car and tried to reason with me and you know what he called me Dez?"

**He says nothing, but cues me to tell him with a look to continue, I sigh, ** "Baby".

**Dez rolls his eyes, knowing this is a classic move for Austin when it comes to me because he thinks that by calling me baby and giving me false hopes and dreams that I'll cave and instantly forgive him. Well, not this time. I want nothing to do with him.**

**Dez takes both my hands which catches me by surprise. You see we have this growing attraction towards each other, he says,**

"Ally, Austin doesn't deserve you. You're beautiful, talented and smart. He's an idiot. Even now he doesn't appreciate what he could have."

**He wipes the tears from my eyes, tells me to look at him. I feel like something's going to happen. He just sounds so sincere, his sweet blue eyes, he leans and surprisingly I find myself leaning in as well and then our lips connect. **

Dez just kissed me.

**It was a sweet kiss and nothing heated because well...We thought we were all alone, but we weren't. We hear someone clear their throat. We pull away from each other trying to process what just happened. **

**We turn our heads and see Austin standing there completely just frozen.**

"Dez? Ally?" **Austin says to both of us sounding crushed.**

**Dez speaks up,** "No, Austin. You don't get to be mad right now. Once again I'm comforting Ally. How many times are you going to fuck up before you let a real man treat her the way that she deserves to be treated?"

"Dez! You realize that you just kissed my Ally?

_Whoa I can't believe that they are arguing right in front of me right now. _

"Fuck you Austin. Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to tell you to pursue Ally when you were trying to decide between her and Kira. You chose Kira over Ally, God man I even tried to tell you that you were in love with her and did you listen to me? Of fucking course not! You think that everyone worships you and that every girl in the entire world wants to be with you. NEWSFLASH AUSTIN: YOU'RE NOT THE CENTER OF EVERYONE'S UNIVERSE. Look at Ally"

**Austin looks at me as Dez directed him to,** "Do you see what you've done to her? Do you even realize that she's in love with you? I have no idea why she kissed me other than the fact that I was comforting her, it seems we have a growing attraction towards each other but that's besides the point. I've stayed on the sidelines for so long, because she was 'your girl' but it's been months and even close to a year and you still haven't manned up and gotten back together with her. Let me tell you something. I'm not backing down if Ally decides at some point she wants to be with me and we want to be together, then we're going to be and there's nothing that you can do about it. She deserves so much better than you. I'm not going to be your doormat anymore. Let's go Ally."

**Dez grabs my hand and that sets Austin off, and he actually throws a punch at Dez. He spits out some blood from his now split lip.**

"Oh really Austin? You're going to be jealous now?**" Dez says towards him and punches Austin in the gut. They don't throw any more punches, but continue to fight verbally. **

"This is un-fucken real. I come here to tell Ally that I want to be with her and I find her kissing you."

"You're too late Austin. She may not want me, but it sure as hell doesn't look like she wants you. It must suck being the one rejected for once."

**I interject,** "Dez. Maybe you should go for now? I have unfinished business with Austin. I have something else to tell you and I'll call you as soon as I'm done here."

"But Ally- I'm not leaving you here with him."

**I rub his arm assuring him that I will be fine. He just glares at Austin and then says but smiles at me before he leaves,** "I'll be at home."

* * *

**Dez leaves and I turn to Austin,** "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU DO REALIZE THAT YOU JUST PUNCHED YOUR BEST FRIEND?"

"Ally. What else was I supposed to do? You know how I feel about you."

"No actually Austin. I don't. You fired me as your songwriter. Didn't you realize that you were throwing away our friendship at the same time?"

**I look at him, then avert my eyes so I'm looking at the ground and he pulls my face back up so it's level to his. He says, **"No Ally. You have it all wrong."

_OH that's it! He's not going to sweet talk his way out of this one!_

"NO AUSTIN, I DON'T. NOW YOU LISTEN TO ME. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. ONCE THIS CONVERSATION IS OVER. YOU ARE NOT TO SPEAK TO ME. THERE WILL BE NO FORM OF COMMUNICATION BETWEEN US WHATSOEVER. NO CALLING, NO TEXTING, NO EMAILING, NO SKYPING."

**He interrupts me,** "No Skyping? Why would I need to Skype with you?"

**I ignore what he says and continue,** "Austin. We're done. I want you to leave me alone. You betrayed me. You just completely blindsided me you know that? Not once did you say that you were unhappy with our partnership and how our songwriting together has been unsatisfactory. Then, you have Jimmy pull me into his office, you aren't even man enough to tell me why or give me an explanation. Your reason whatever it may be I'm sure is complete shit, and honestly I really just don't fucking care anymore. God, I'm so stupid for believing that you actually cared and valued our friendship/relationship whatever you want to call 'this' fucked up thing is that we have."

"You don't mean that." **He says quietly towards me.**

"How would you know what I mean? We're not even on the same fucking page anymore!"

"Ally, I love you." _He's never said that to me before and he chooses now to do so, like this. Bad move Romeo.__  
_

"What did you just say?"

"I said that I love you. I'm in love with you." _Holy shit. He did say what I thought he just said. I could have sworn I was imagining things._

"Wow, Austin. You are really grasping at straws here. Is there anything that you won't say?"

'"ARE YOU EVEN FUCKING LISTENING TO ME?! I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU ALLY." **He's now standing in front of me with both his hands on my shoulders as if he wants to shake me.**

"Austin. I have nothing to say to you. You're so full of shit. Tell me about your new songwriter. You know 'her' the girl you are replacing me with. I'm sure that she's beautiful and oh wait did you even ask to see her songs?" **I smirk at him knowing full well that he probably didn't so he just destroyed us that easily on an impulsive decision.**

"Would you just shut the fuck up?" **He removes his hands from my arms and pulls me into him gripping my waist. **

"Austin. Please don't." **He crushes his lips onto mine and I really don't want to kiss him back, but I cave and just give into what feels so natural. I can't believe that he's kissing me right now after just seeing Dez kiss me too not too long ago. I pull away and smack him across the face. **

"You can consider that your Goodbye." **I say to him and he just looks at me completely confused**.

"Ally, please I know that you love me too. Dez just said so himself." **He grabs my hands and intertwines our fingers.**

"I may love you Austin, but I don't want to be with you right now. I wish I didn't. I wish that I didn't feel the way that I am right now. I have to go Austin."

**I walk over to him, give him a limp hug and kiss his cheek feeling kind of bad that I slapped him, but he really shouldn't have kissed me.**

"Goodbye Austin and good luck with your new songwriter."

"Ally, please don't go. I need you." **He's crying. I start to walk away and he runs and grabs my arm. God, this is just awful.**

**My conscience interjects,** _Remember Ally, you only get a half a day to cry tomorrow if needed and then we're going to focus on you. Fuck Austin. Not literally. _

"No, you don't need me Austin. You only need yourself, because you're careless when it comes to other people's hearts. If you really loved me, you wouldn't have made the decisions you have thus far. I need space." **I gently remove his hands from my arm trying to ignore the spark it elicits when he touches me or when we touch each other.**

"Let me fix this. I can fix this. I can't lose you."

**I don't say another word and just walk away. I walk to my car and I so badly want to just collapse on the ground right now, but I know that I can't. Not when there's a chance Austin is literally just behind me. I pick up my phone and as promised I call Dez.**

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**A/N: Reviews appreciated loves. So as I said, things are going to be rough. Now, just because things happened in this chapter don't jump to any conclusions and bear with me in the meantime. Love you guys! xoxo**


	3. Is This Really Happening?

The cover speaks for itself darlings. It's an Auslly story, so please don't make assumptions just yet. Everything is all apart of my plan :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel. I don't own any of the song lyrics either.

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**Dez's POV**

**I kissed Ally. I can't believe I kissed Ally and she kissed me back. I wasn't trying to take advantage of her vulnerability I was actually comforting her. I can't believe that Austin had to go ruin mine and Ally's first kiss together and he actually punched me and I have a fat lip now. Who the fuck does that to his best friend?**

**I mean he's had months and even close to a year to get his shit together and tell her that he wants to be with her, but did he up until his point? No.**

**God, I was so mad when she told me to leave because she was going to deal with Austin. I hope he didn't say anything else to upset her. He better not have hurt her anymore than he already has because next time I won't just punch him in the gut. He'll get punched in the money maker.**

**I look at the clock, see that it's only been about fifteen minutes or so since I left both Austin and Ally to talk. I hope that she calls me soon. She said that she had something else that she needs to talk to me about. As if on cue, while I'm thinking about her my phone starts to ring.**

**James Blunt's: _You're Beautiful_**

_My life is brilliant._

_My love is pure._

_I saw an angel of that I'm sure._

_She smiled at me on the subway._

_She was with another man._

_But I won't lose no sleep on that,_

_'Cause I've got a plan._

_You're beautiful. You're beautiful._

_You're beautiful, it's true._

_I saw your face in a crowded place,_

_And I don't know what to do,_

_'Cause I'll never be with you._

**I eagerly answer her phone call. Our conversation goes something like this,**

" Ally I was getting worried. Are you alright?"

"Yes Dez. I left Austin." **I can tell that she's been crying even more than she already was. Man, if he wasn't my best friend I think that I'd strangle him.**

"What do you mean you left Austin?"

"I'm done with him Dez. I said Goodbye to him." **I can hear her voice beginning to fade out.**

"Aren't you going to see him tomorrow?"

**She sounds so weary right now, like it's taking all of her strength to talk to me even just on the phone.** "No, listen there's something else I need to talk to you about first. I was going to tell you about it, but then Austin interrupted us. Dez, I'm going on tour."

**My heart just started to beat out of my chest. I don't want Ally to leave.** "When are you leaving?" **I ask nervously.**

"Tomorrow."** She says, there's complete silence for a few minutes. I don't know what to say, I mean I just kissed her tonight. I am still in shock over that, but her leaving is putting my heart into overdrive right now.**

"I want you to come with me."

_Shock. Ally wants me to go with her on a tour, we're not bringing Austin or Trish with us?_

"What about Trish? I mean I can understand why not Austin, but why do you want me with you instead of Trish?"

"Trish is Austin's manager. I love Trish like a sister, but I just don't know if I can trust that she didn't have anything to do with this. She may be my best friend, but when it comes to managing remember Austin is always her top priority."

"Ally-" **She cuts me off instantly.**

"No Dez, you know that it's true so don't even try to pretend that it's not."

" Fine, I'm not even going to attempt to argue with you on this one. Is it going to be a local tour?"

"No, it's international. Ronnie said that I can bring someone with me and I think that we both need time away from Austin. Oh, he also got us a private jet."

"How long are we going to be gone if I come with you?"

"Well the first leg of the tour is six months and we're going to only be overseas. Whenever there's a break then I guess we can come back home to Miami for a little while. I've already called my dad while I was waiting for you. He said that since I'm an adult and in my early 20's now he supports whatever decision I make. Before you ask, no I didn't tell him anything about Austin."

**Six months alone with Ally on tour. I need to be there for her as a friend, but who knows maybe we could turn into something more. I'm not going to push anything though, because I'm not Austin. I know that Ally probably only loves me as a friend, but for right now I'm okay with it. I'm going to be the one to try to help her through this heartbreak and betrayal.**

**I sigh and decide to give in,** "I'll start packing now."

"Really?!" **Ally screams with a surprised and excited tone in her voice. Maybe she really will be okay and not hurt as much later on down the line after all.**

"Well, I better get home and pack. Can DeDe bring us to the airport in the morning?"

"I'll ask her, but I don't see why it would be a problem." **I hang up the phone with Ally, start dreaming of all the things possible when we're across the country and literally anything could happen.**

**I smile as I tell my pet llama that I'm going to miss him, that mom, dad and DeDe will look after him while I'm gone.**

**I hear the door to my bedroom open revealing my sister and mother.**

"Dez, Austin's on the house phone. Should I tell him that you're out?"

**Should I tell Austin that I'm leaving and going with Ally on tour.****He's going to have a freaking heart attack. No, scratch that he's going to go absolutely postal for a couple of different reasons. Maybe I'll just tell him tomorrow morning as we're taking off or something**

"Tell him that you have no idea where I am and then come back in here. I need to tell you something."

**My mom sighs, lies to Austin for me. What? I don't want to talk to him right now. I think he's hurt Ally enough to last her a lifetime. My mom comes back in, I tell her what's going on.**

"Mom. I need to tell you a few things." **She nods her head to show me that she's listening.** "First, Austin punched me. Second, I kissed Ally. Third, I'm packing and going on tour with Ally. She hasn't asked yet, but I want to direct her first ever music video. Last, I need you guys to look after Fred while I'm gone. Please."

"DeDe!" **I call out to my sister, she comes running to my bedroom door,** "Yeah Dez?"

"Would you drive Ally and I to the airport tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, sure. Where are you guys going? Can't Austin or Trish drive you?"

"No, I really don't want to get into that. I'm going on an international tour with Ally." **She holds her hands up to show that she doesn't need an explanation and that she was only curious.**

"Mom?"

"Well, you know that I love Ally honey. She's such a sweetheart and you're such a good friend to her. You should finish packing and then head to bed."

**Once I have finished packing I decided to send Ally a quick text.**

To Ally:

Goodnight gorgeous. I'll see you in the morning :-)" **and then I hit send. Maybe one of these days I'll actually get my chance with her? Wishful thinking? Probably. but I'm just happy having her in my life.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I feel like I am supposed to wake up from this nightmare soon. Only I don't think that I'm sleeping and this is all very very real. I made the biggest mistake of my life, I mean Ally did pretty much call me out on it. I punched my best friend because he kissed her. I can't believe that Dez fucking kissed my girl.**

_She's not your girl Austin. She hasn't been for a really long time._

**Will you shut the fuck up? I don't need a lecture right now, nor am I in the mood.**

_When are you ever in the mood to be real with someone Austin. Ally was right to call you out on your shit tonight. Instead of saying I'm sorry you say that you love her? You're seriously fucking stupid._

**And where were you when I needed you? Oh that's right nowhere in sight.**

_Don't you blame me for this. I thought that you were smart enough to apologize lay on some of your slick panty dropping Austin Moon moves and get your girl to see that you gave her up as a songwriter without thinking, that you made a mistake, but no. Of course not!_

**I can't believe I'm having an argument with myself right now.**

**My phone starts ringing and I'm hoping that it's Dez so I can apologize and tell him what happened with Ally after he left, but it's not. Trish is calling me, I know that I have to pick up.**

"Austin! What the fuck is going on? Why are you the only one that's answering my phone calls? I've called both Dez and Ally multiple times and neither of them are answering me. I even called Mr. Dawson and physically went to Sonic Boom to look for Ally. I'm worried. You need to tell me what you did, why both of them are ignoring my phone calls."

**There's no easy way to tell her what I witnessed between Dez and Ally. Trish is still with Jace, no she doesn't have feelings for Dez.**

"I really messed everything up. After Ally flipped out at me, I called her like a freaking lunatic and even still I was constantly blowing up her phone with text messages too at the same time. So finally the last text I sent her said, 'Baby I'm worried. I'm coming to find you.' She didn't respond to any of my texts and she was driving and upset, but anyways like I said I went to go find her. I looked everywhere for her, starting with Sonic Boom, then I went to her house but her car wasn't there, I went to Marino High since those were the good old days back when everything was great, then I remembered something. Remember that time that I didn't like the song she wrote early on in my partnership with her because it didn't reflect myself or my personality at all?"

"Yeah. So?"

"I took her to a horror convention that night, we saw Swamp Bride. She was upset that you and Dez actually had things in common, she didn't say it directly but I could tell by her tone. So, then she brought me to this place where she goes to think."

"The Mall Pond where Pickles the goose was?"

"Yeah, well Pickles isn't there anymore, but maybe since that place is where Ally and I started to I guess connect and be okay with our differences I thought maybe that's where she went. And I was right. Only when I went to find her. I saw something."

"Spit it out Moon. Ally crying? I wonder who could be the reason for all of that." Trish says sarcastically.

"Trish will you let me finish. I saw Dez kissing Ally."

"Trish?" She's once again silent for the second time tonight. Fucking perfect. I need her to actually talk to me and she's speechless. I never thought I'd see the day. I guess she's trying to process what I've just said.

"Dez kissed Ally? It's about fucking time."

"Excuse me?"

"Austin, Dez is into Ally. He has been for a long time, but you're too selfish to realize that. And since Ally was your songwriter he never wanted to interfere. He never wanted to risk your friendship, but I guess this was the last straw for him. It looks to me that just like Ally he's tired of being in your shadow."

"You're supporting them kissing? What if they end up together? You're on their side here?" **I feel myself start to choke on my words.**

"Yes Austin, but to them it probably looks like I'm on your side and that by betraying Ally or so I'm guessing she thinks that I am, in their eyes I have also betrayed Dez's trust too."

"Are you telling me that Dez loves her?" **I feel tears start to well up in my eyes. I wish I could feel numb right now. **

_There you go again. Being a selfish bastard. It's about time that you actually feel something._

**Trish interrupts my conscience,** "I've noticed that they have grown a lot closer over the years, are definitely attracted to each other. They have tried to hide it, but I can see right through it. For whatever reason, they have decided to not act on their attraction because they didn't want to hurt your feelings. I mean Dez obviously knows about your feelings because he tried to tell you a long time ago that you were in love with her. I still can't believe you basket-weaved or attempted to."

**She starts to laugh at how truly absurd that was, because my basket really did look like a birds nest. I guess Dez told her about that.**

** She continues,** "I'm not going to tell you if he loves her or not in the way that you're suggesting because only Dez has the answer for that."

**I snap,** "THIS IS ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT. WHY WON'T YOU TELL ME?! MY BEST FRIEND KISSED THE GIRL THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH. MY MANAGER AND ONE OF MY OTHER BEST FRIENDS SUPPORT HIM BEING WITH HER. THE WORST PART IS THAT I PUNCHED MY BEST FRIEND."

"Austin you punched Dez?"

**I let my head hang and stare at the floor,** "Yes, I saw him kiss Ally. Then, we started arguing and I took a swing at him, he hit me back."

"AUSTIN WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? DO YOU CARE ABOUT ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF? DID YOU EVEN APOLOGIZE TO ALLY?"

"No."

"NO?! You didn't apologize to her, God Austin. You better get a fucking grip on reality, because it seems like I'm the only one that you have left."

"I told her that I love her, that I'm in love with her." **She's going to continue to rant in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.**

" AND YOU EXPECTED HER TO BELIEVE YOU BECAUSE OF YOUR IRRESISTIBLE MOON CHARM? NEWS FLASH AUSTIN! ALLY'S NOT ONE OF YOUR SLUTTY GROUPIES SHE ACTUALLY HAS SUBSTANCE. SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND AND YOU FIRED HER AS YOUR SONGWRITER. WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GOING TO HAPPEN? YOU HUMILIATED HER AUSTIN. UGH! WHAT ELSE DID YOU DO?"

"I kissed her." **I said seemingly spaced out I guess because the next thing I know, Trish is snapping her fingers to get my attention through the receiver.**

"TIME THE FUCK OUT. YOU KISSED HER. THE SAME NIGHT THAT DEZ HAS HIS FIRST KISS WITH ALLY? This is ridiculous. I'm calling Jace, then I'm going to Ally's house to do damage control. You're unbelievable Austin. "

"I'm sorry Trish."

"You should have said that to Ally. Bye." **She hangs up the phone and I'm just left with my thoughts, thinking about only one person.**

_Ally._

**I start to scroll through my smartphone, go to my music player to play the song that's coincidentally set for Ally's ringtone. I wish that she'd talk to me. I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to fix our broken relationship.**

Evan & Jaron: Crazy For This Girl

_She rolls the window down_  
_And she talks over the sound_  
_Of the cars that pass us by_  
_And I don't know why_  
_But she's changed my mind_

_Would you look at her? She looks at me_  
_She's got me thinking about her constantly_  
_But she don't know how I feel_  
_And as she carries on without a doubt_  
_I wonder if she's figured out I'm crazy for this girl_  
_Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl_

_She was the one to hold me_  
_The night the sky fell down_  
_And what was I thinking then_  
_The world didn't end_  
_Why didn't I know what I know now?_

_Would you look at her? She looks at me_  
_She's got me thinking about her constantly_  
_But she don't know how I feel_  
_And as she carries on without a doubt_  
_I wonder if she'll figure out I'm crazy for this girl_  
_Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl_

_Right now, face to face_  
_All my fears, pushed aside_  
_And right now, I'm ready to spend_  
_The rest of my life with you_

_Would you look at her? She looks at me_  
_She's got me thinking about her constantly_  
_But she don't know how I feel_  
_And as she carries on without a doubt_  
_I wonder if she's figured out I'm crazy for this girl_  
_Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl_

_Would you look at her? She looks at me_  
_She's got me thinking about her constantly_  
_But she don't know how I feel_  
_And as she carries on without a doubt_  
_I wonder if she's figured out I'm crazy for this girl_  
_Yeah, I'm crazy for this girl_

**I lay back down on my bed and turn over to grab a picture of Ally and I off my bedside table. This is crazy. She only left me about an hour ago and I'm already feeling like I'm going to lose my mind. I'm crazy in love with her, I have to find a way to get her to believe me.**

* * *

A/N: And that concludes chapter 3, reviews are appreciated. Feedback is awesome. :)


	4. Damage Control

**I know that there's a lot going on right now guys, but this is how I need to start getting into the story. Thanks for the reviews as always.**

**Characters will start acting (OOC) out of character soon if they haven't already, but as you can tell some have. So, just a warning. It's all about what's to come in the story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't any of the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Trish's POV **

**Once I got off the phone with Austin. I decided to stop calling Ally and just got in my car and just drove to her house. She has to be there right? It's one o'clock in the morning so I don't see why she wouldn't be. I doubt that she's even sleeping because she doesn't sleep when she's upset like this. I'm so happy that I have Jace to talk to about this. I actually called him the second I got off the phone with Austin. I more or less told him what happened and he just said pretty much that Thanks to Austin, I now have to go do damage control after working a really long shift at Melody Diner. Yeah, I decided to go back to work for the Melody Diner all these years later, it's only a side job to keep me grounded and down-to-earth. I grab my ready-to-go overnight bag out of my trunk and walk up to the front door of her house and bring it in with.**

**I decide to not call her and let her know that I'm here, but rather take her spare key from underneath the doormat and let myself in. Mr. Dawson told me that he had to leave for another convention earlier. I unlock the front door and walk through and up the stairs to see that my best friends bedroom light is on, but her door is shut. When her light is on, I know that means she's awake she's also listening to some really pissed off and angst-like music or actually writing a song. I'm not really sure, and I guess I probably won't know until she offers up any sort of information, which is highly unlikely right now. Oh wait, I actually know this song. **

**_JoJo: "Leave (Get Out)"_**

_I've been waiting all day for ya babe _

_So won't cha come and sit and talk to me_

_And tell me how we're gonna be together always_

_Hope you know that when it's late at night_

_I Hold on to my pillow tight_

**_And think of how you promised me forever_**

**_(I never thought that anyone)_**

**_Could make me feel this way_**

**_(Now that you're here boy all I want) _**

**_Is just a chance to say_**

**_Get Out, (leave) right now, _**

**_It's the end of you and me_**

**_It's too late (now) and I can't wait for you to be gone _**

_'Cause I know about her (who) and I wonder (why) how I bought all the lies_

_You said that you would treat me right but you was just a waste of time (waste of time)_

**_Tell me why you're looking so confused_**

**_When I'm the one who didn't know the truth_**

**_How could you ever be so cold_**

_To go behind my back and call my friend _

_Boy you must have gone and bumped your head_

_Because you left her number on your phone_

**_(So now after all is said and done) _**

**_Maybe I'm the one to blame but_**

**_(To think that you could be the one)_**

**_Well it didn't work out that way_**

**_I wanted you right here with me but I have no choice you've gotta leave_**

**_Because my heart is breakin'_**

**_With every word I'm sayin'_**

**_I gave up everything I had _**

**_On something that just wouldn't last _**

_But I refuse to cry_

_No tears will fall from these_

_Eyeee-eeee-eeees _

_Ooooh, ooooh_

_Get out_

_[Chorus x2]_

_Get out (leave) _

_You and me_

_It's too late (too late)_

_You ohh _

_Bout her (who, why)_

_You said that you would treat me right (noooo)_

_but it was just a waste of time (waste of time)_

_Ohhhh oh oh oh hoh oh_

**I knock for a second and then push open the door. The sight before my eyes is a completely broken down Ally in a long sleeve Victoria's Secret crew style shirt in a light grey color with Love Pink across it and black yoga pants. She's got mascara running down her face, a huge bag of Cheetos on her bed, and a bottle of wine that's already half empty. Oh, I forgot to mention a massive freaking suitcase, but I can't just come out and question her right off the bat.**

"Ally?" **She's sitting on her bed with the wine bottle in her hand. I can tell that she's been drinking straight out of the actual bottle because she didn't even bother to get a wine glass and actually pour a glass for herself.**

"Ally. You've been drinking?"

"Trish I'm fucking twenty-three years old. It's not like I'm underage and doing this, may I remind you that at least I'm in the comforts of my own home? At least its wine and not whiskey. I'm really not in the mood for any of this. If you're here to yell at me for not talking this out with Austin. I swear-"

"No Ally. I just came here to tell you that I had absolutely no idea that Austin was going to fire you as his songwriter."

"You didn't?" **I could hear the hesitation in her voice, but I can't say that I'd blame her. Thanks to Austin, we'll be lucky if Ally trusts anyone at all now.**

"No Ally. If I knew, even with some sort of confidentiality agreement I'd tell Austin to go fuck himself. When it comes to my own personal relationships you come first. Because you're my best friend in the entire world and you have been since we were little kids. I could never do that to you." **I reassure her because I need her to believe me.**

"What else did he tell you?" **She asks with her eyes obviously glassy tears threatening to spill down her face again. I hate seeing her cry, it has been constant because of Austin lately. He says one thing and does another, he gives her false hopes and never actually acts on his feelings. I feel awful that he's putting her through this.**

"He told me that Dez kissed you."** I walk to the bathroom, grab a makeup remover towelette. I walk back over to my best friend and start taking her ruined makeup off her pretty face. **

**Ally gives me a shy smile,** "Yeah, he did. It was sweet just like Dez is, but Trish look at me I look like an absolute fucking train wreck once again because of Austin."

"Not now you don't. See?" **I pull out a compact mirror and show her that I have taken her makeup off and her face doesn't look that way anymore. She sighs and musters up the best thank you smile she can right now which isn't much, but at least it's something.**

**"**What are you going to tell Dez?"

**She sighs sounding just completely drained,** "The truth. I really have no intention of being with anyone. I'm going to focus on me. That he's one of my closest friends and that while I'm attracted to him I'm in no state of mind to get into anything serious with anyone. And of course that I really don't want to hurt him."

"Are you mad that he kissed you?" **As soon as I ask her the question, her phone beeps signaling an incoming text. She groans, walks over to her dresser to grab it, but then her demeanor softens, **"It's Dez. He just sent me: _Goodnight beautiful. I'll see you in the morning._ :) He really does care and is such a good friend.**"**

"No, honestly I think I wanted it just as much as he did. It's just that." **She paused for a moment,** "The timing and the way it happened. Austin came in like a fucking lunatic and they both actually physically and verbally fought over me. Its like I wasn't even there. Some of the things that they were saying to each other...Trish I don't want to be the reason for any of this. I may be really upset with Austin, but I'm still in love with him."

"Oh Ally, I'm so sorry." **Normally, I'd say Alls, but I know right now in my heart that it would set her off and make everything so much worse. When Austin's not calling her 'baby' that's what he calls her. With her this upset I can't call her Allygator at the moment. I pull her away from her suitcase that she's standing in front of, and engulf her in a hug as she cries into my shirt.**

_God Austin, what a son of a bitch. Honestly, I don't mind doing damage control, but I'm here for Ally and not him right now. _

"At least you are. I didn't even get an _I'm sorry_ from him. He said literally anything and everything else to try and charm his way back into my good graces except for the one thing I needed to hear. Austin really did a number on me, _There's no way I can do it without you, be here without you_. It's all fucking bullshit! When is he going to realize I'm not a bimbo like that idiot Piper he dated who didn't realize that he had feelings for me? She was seriously so freaking retarded, I may have forgiven Austin years ago for asking her to prom instead of me, but that doesn't mean I have forgotten. Even when the situation was rectified later... do you know how painful it was for me to take those 'couple' pictures when I should have been in them right before the actual prom? It sucked, but like I said I'm not some fucking groupie like Piper was. I was supposed to be his partner and his best friend." **Ally starts crying louder to the point of hysteria, I just rub her back and let her know that I'm here if she needs me.**

"He told me that he is in love with me you know?" **She pulls away and I gently stroke her hair. I walk over to her dresser and tell her to take a seat on the bed and grab a hairbrush off of her vanity. She does what I ask of her,**

"He told me that, too. I swear to God I actually told him that you're not just one of his groupie whores, but who knows if he actually listened to me."

**She cracks a little smile, probably at the word whores because really that's what they are whores who throw themselves at and want to sleep with Austin. Honestly, I have no idea how Ally has put up with his shit this whole time. **"Ah, there's my best friend. I'm sure that this hurts honey, but it will all get better in time. And hey, I'm sure that you could write at least five hit singles because of this whole situation."

"I want to believe him, I want to believe that he meant what he said, but I just can't. Whatever Austin says.. they're just words and to him they hold no value and are just empty. Empty promises. So, after he said all that crap he actually had the audacity to kiss me. He kissed me on the same night that well, you know."

"Ally, I hate to interrupt but can you tell me why is there a huge suitcase opened on your bed?Like you're -" **She turns around to face me and sits Indian style, put both of her hands on my shoulders.**

"I'm leaving Trish."

"What do you mean you're leaving? Where are you going? This is all because of Austin isn't it. If he hadn't fucked up so horrendously we would still be Team Auslly. Sorry I'm ranting, please tell me what's going on."

**Ally frowns and she starts to cry again. Damn it! I was doing so good until I said Team Auslly. Yeah, as a group we shortened it to their couple name.**

"Ronnie called me last night and told me that he scheduled me and wants me to go on tour. He said that I am leaving in." **She looks at the clock on the nightstand and says,** " about eight hours. He even got me a private jet."

"YOU'RE FINALLY GOING ON TOUR! In the United States? Ally I'm so happy for you! I better get home and-"

"Trish. I'm not bringing you. The first leg of my tour is going to be international."

"W-what?" **I'm not going to freak out now, I'm going to be a good friend who listens.**

"I'm bringing Dez. We need to get away from Austin. You're his manager and now I suspect that since his new 'songwriter' doesn't even know how to actually write songs that you're going to have your hands full. You're going to have to go through the pain of auditioning people once again with him. I love you Trish, like a sister. You can Skype with me every day I promise. I just really need to get out of here. Get away and clear my head and while I really don't care what will happen to Austin when I leave don't ever question that I do care about you and I always will."

"I'm upset that you're leaving, but you're right as Austin's manager and I guess now his personal assistant I really don't have a choice here. Here I am now doing damage control for him both personally and professionally. Your mind is obviously made up, and I'm going to support your decision. But enough about that, just know that if you decide at some point you want to get serious with Dez I'll support you. Hell, if a miracle arises and Austin gets his shit together and you forgive Austin I'll support that too. I just want you to be happy. Now, let's get you packed missy. I want to spend as much time with you as possible before you leave."

**It has taken us about two hours to pack with the exception of the things Ally will have to pack when we wake up and we're finally getting ready to go sleep. That's right I'm crashing at Ally's tonight. Her phone starts ringing, mind you it is now three o'clock in the morning.**

_No, it's never gonna be that simple_

_No, I can't spell it out for you_

_If you just realize what I just realized_

_Then we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other_

"Ally. Austin's calling you. Do you want me to answer?"

"No, just let it go to voice-mail."** She says with a tired tone.**

"Are you going to listen to it?"

"No, but you can if you want."

**I take her voice and dial her voice-mail and she puts in her password and then motions for me to go out of earshot.**

* * *

" Ally. I'm never going to stop loving you. I wish that you would talk to me, but since you aren't I'm going to try and communicate with you the only way I know how through music.

**Austin starts strumming his guitar and playing the acoustic version of Jesse McCartney's** _Beautiful Soul **and sings some of it in the message for Ally**._

_I know that you are something special_

_To you I'd be always faithful_

_I want to be what you always needed_

_Then I hope you'll see the heart in me_

_I don't want another pretty face_

_I don't want just anyone to hold_

_I don't want my love to go to waste_

_I want you and your beautiful soul_

**I so badly want to just give you the space that you need, but I can't. Not when we're meant to be together, I just love you. I don't know if you will even listen to this, but I'm going to stop by tomorrow afternoon at your house. Baby, please please forgive me. I'll do anything.**"

* * *

**And that was the end of Austin's message. I'm actually kind of pissed off at him right now. That's it. I'm doing damage control, but I'm going to protect Ally here. I won't delete this message because I'm not devious, but I mean really he thinks that he can just sweet talk Ally and everything is going to be magically all better? No Austin. That's not how real life works, you know what I'm not even going to tell him that Ally's leaving. He needs a serious reality check, I'm going to be the one to help and give him just that.**

**I walk back over to Ally and hand her her phone.** "Trish can we just watch a movie or something and fall asleep that way?"

"Sure but first-. Do you want me to tell you what his message said?"

"No, not right now. Nothing he could say right now is going to hold me back. I'm leaving and that's final."

"I understand. What do you want to watch Al?"

"Hmmm how about Beaches?"

"Really. I love that movie with Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey?" **I grab the dvd and put it in her dvd player and press play.**

**The movie has been on for about an hour and both Ally and I are sobbing. I know Trish DelaRosa crying is so not cool. Well, you know what. My heart isn't made of stone and being with Jace has softened me up a bit. ****We've just gotten to the scene in the movie where Hillary tells CeCe that she wants to go home.I won't spoil the movie for those of you that haven't seen it, but it's definitely a classic and you have to watch it at some point in your life. Okay? Okay. Well, we're at this particular scene and Ally and I are just sitting next to each other side hugging and leaning our heads against each others shoulder.**

"Al?"

"Yeah T?"

"I just want you to know that you're the best friend I could ever ask for. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too. Let's get some sleep okay? I'll make sure I say goodbye to you before Dez and I leave for the airport. Oh, Trish. Thanks for coming, just so you know we're good. I'm not mad at you." **We're laying in her queen sized bed and staring at the ceiling as we link our arms. This may be the last sleepover for a while and I feel my own eyes become glassy but I have to stay strong until Ally leaves and for Ally.**

"Goodnight Allygator."

"Goodnight Trishycakes."

**Once we say sweet dreams my eyes start to feel heavy and I feel my eyes close realizing that I love my best friend enough to let her go on tour without me, that I'm going to get and put Austin in line while she's gone. So maybe just maybe he's worth her time after the first leg of her tour. Looks like I'm going to end up babysitting Austin until further notice. Yippee. NOT.**

* * *

A/N: You guys know what to do ;-) xoxo


	5. See You Soon?

**Thanks for all the love darlings! xoxo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own any of the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I hear my alarm going off and it's eight in the morning. Trish is still out cold, but I mean I have probably only gotten four hours of sleep and I'll wake her up soon. Besides, there's something I need to do. I reach over to my phone and see that it's blinking from the voice-mail from Austin. Should I listen to it now?**

_No, because I told you that you aren't allowed to cry over Austin anymore. I gave you a day or so, now we're going to toughen you up._

**But-**

_No, I'm doing this to protect you. Trish listened to the message and I could sense that she was hoping that you didn't want to hear what Austin said just yet. So, wait. _

**I walk over to my desk in my bedroom and look at the millions of pictures I have of Austin and I all over it. **

**Wow, I must really be in love with him.**

_None of that matters now. You're going to get over Austin. We're going to show him what you're made of and that he doesn't deserve you._

**I sit down at my desk, pull out a piece of paper and start writing. It takes me about twenty minutes to actually write out. Well, that was extremely hard to write, but he needs a reality check. I fold the paper and put in in an envelope, write his name on the oustide and seal it shut. He'll probably wake up this morning and think that I'm going to just forgive him and that everything is going to be okay. It's not. I'm not going to forgive him for a long time if I ever do at all. **

**I look at my suitcase that's opened at the foot of my bed, but on the chest in front of my bed and on top of it. I'm trying to remember what else I need to bring. Pictures? Yeah, I guess I should pack a few. I packed one's of my family before we fell asleep last night. I can't believe that I'm actually leaving and going away for six months and on tour. I need someone to pinch me to remind me that this is all very real and not a dream. The first picture is of Austin and I. We're sitting on the couch or I am and he has his head in my lap. He leans up to pucker his lips and I put both arms around his head and I lean down to kiss him.**

* * *

_Flashback_

_We were just hanging out with Dez and Trish on a Friday night at Austin's last summer and we had just ordered some pizza and were sitting in the living room on his couch. Well, I was sitting and he was laying down._

_Why are you looking me like that?_

_Because._

_Why?_

_I just really want to kiss you. _

_End Flashback_

* * *

**I remember looking down and he was just smiling at me. It's one of my favorites. Then again, I thought it was when his feelings for me were real.**

**Then next few pictures I pack are from when we went pumpkin picking when we had some down time on his last tour. I think we were in Ohio in this picture. So we're in the field pumpkin picking, Austin scoops me up bridal style, tells me that he'll save me from the evil looking scarecrow. I laugh at that memory. When Dez snapped the picture though we weren't paying attention and Austin's kissing my neck while I'm just smiling wide. We have a group picture of us and our pumpkins standing in front of a classic looking pickup truck too. **

**The last picture I decide to pack is the one where we're sitting on top of a bench overlooking the ocean. We're wearing our jerseys with Moon '9' and Dawson '83' on it from when Dez filmed that Rockumentary. We have our arms around each other's torso's, but Austin has his one hand on my face and we're just staring into each other's eyes our faces so close to another. When I looked into his eyes I saw myself**, **but I saw his heart. I don't care if that sounds lame, but you have to experience it to understand it. **

_Are you sure this is a good idea bringing this one?_

**Yes. I have no idea how I'm going to handle being away from home without everyone being with me. Now, shut the fuck up and just be supportive.**

**I smile as I pack the picture into my suitcase, let a single tear slip from my eye and move onto the next picture. Trish and I are just standing hugging each other in this one with our eyes closed and laughing. I pack one more picture of the group from our Glee Competition that we won and decide that it's time to wake Trish up. She's normally cranky in the morning, but I don't think she will be this morning since I'm leaving for the airport in a little while. **

"Trish, I need you to wakeup now."

**She groans**, "Okay Al, just give me a minute and I'll get up and make us some breakfast."

"Thanks, I'm just going to hop in the shower and pack toiletries once I'm dressed and ready I'll come down."

**I walk into the bathroom and just stare at my reflection in the mirror and I don't think that reality has set in just yet. I'm looking at myself in the mirror and it's like I'm not even looking at myself, I shake off the feeling and turn the shower on. While in the shower, I start to think way too much. So once my hair is washed and my entire body is clean I decide to cut it short because my mind started wandering to Austin. I just can't handle that right now.**

**I walk out and back into my bedroom and see that Trish has laid out an outfit for me. It's brighter than I expected that it would be, but once news breaks that I'm no longer Austin's songwriter I bet she knows that paparazzi is going to be all over me. So, she put out an outfit that she knows looks good on me. There's a red lace crop top, black leather jacket and pair of skinny jeans along with my ray ban aviators and medium-sized hoop earrnings laid out. Once I'm finished dressing I check out myself in the mirror and damn I look really good. My body has filled out a little more since I was a teenager well my chest is significantly bigger, I'm just I guess a little more proportional. As I smile in the mirror, I see that my necklace is shining off the glass since the sun is now pouring into my room. It's the silver heart locket Austin got me, I reach down to open it revealing a picture of Austin and I on one side, Forever & Always engraved on the other. I know that I should probably take it off, but I'm not ready to just yet. I close the locket and call down to Trish.**

"Trish is breakfast ready?"

"Yeah Al, come on down."

She made us waffles, eggs, and bacon. "Trish, thanks but this is all too much. You didn't have to do all of this."

"Don't be silly of course I did. So how'd you sleep?"

"Okay, I guess. You?"

"Same."

"So coffee?" **She walks over and brings the already poured coffee back over from off the counter. She raises her cup and says, **"So I know this is coffee, but I want to do a cheers anyways."

"Hey wait let me grab something."

"Bailey's?"

"Yep and two shot glasses."

"To your new beginning and success that's sure to follow with this International Tour. I'm so prooud of you"

**We take the shots and then pour some Baileys into our own coffee. We look at each other and start to tear up, **"I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. Okay, let's just eat our breakfast and thanks for laying out this outfit for me."

"You already know why I did it and will you stand up so I can get a good look at you?" She motions for me to spin, "Wow Allygator you look smoking hot. Dez is going to be drooling when he comes to pick you up." **I blush at that because Trish never holds anything back.**

**We finish eating breakfast and run upstairs to finish packing. I flick on the radio and pop in the Ally D's mixed cd and we start dancing and singing to Rihanna's **_Umbrella. _

_When the sun shines, we'll shine together_

_Told you I'd be here forever_

_Said I'll always be a friend_

_Took an oath I'ma stick it out 'til the end_

_Now that it's raining more than ever_

_Know that we'll still have each other_

_You can stand under my umbrella_

_You can stand under my umbrella_

_(Ella ella eh eh eh)_

_Under my umbrella_

**I continue to let the rest of the cd play and we dance it out, laughing and Trish even starts doing the Ally Way with me. We stop for a second before I walk over to my dresser and hand her something. **

"T, I need you to do something for me."

"Anything Ally. What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to give this to Austin. I have no idea if he's going to show up when I get to the airport and chase Dez and I in one last futile attempt to get me to stay, but here. Please give this to him, yes you can read it either while he's with you or after he reads it. Okay?"

"Of course."

"Now are you sure that you have everything?"

"Everything that I can bring with me. Except for my best friend. I'm sorry that you have to stay here." **She comforts me as I start to cry,**

"Ally don't cry. You will have Dez with you. I know T, but he's not you. What if I just need to vent to and cry to someone about how men suck? I can't do that with Dez, that wouldn't be fair to treat him like a gay best friend. I mean that's like the kiss of death for guys who are interested in a woman. Right?"

"What if I start hysterically crying over Austin? How am I supposed to deal with this?"

"Ally, look at me. Remember your favorite quote from Winnie the Pooh."

"If there ever comes a time when we can't be together, keep me in your heart and I'll stay there forever."

"Even if I'm not with you, I'll always be with you okay. You can call me at whatever ungodly hour of the night if you need to. I'll answer for you. I promise."

"I love you, Trish. I'm so lucky to have you as my best friend."

"I love you too, Ally. I feel the same way."

**I look out my bedroom window to see that DeDe and Dez have just pulled into the driveway.**

"Come on Trish. We better go downstairs and get the door for him."

**We walk down the stairs and open to greet Dez, he's got mixed emotions on his face like he's trying to decide if he should smile or not, but goes with a smile anyways,**

"How are my girls this morning?" **He opens his arms and Trish and I just start crying into his arms while we hug him. He rubs both mine and Trish's arms to show that he's not going anywhere. We look up and wipe the tears from our eyes, turn to walk up the stairs with Dez following behind us. **

**We walk into my room, it looks like when I just moved in, the room is looking sparse. It's not as warm and as inviting as it felt last night or even twenty minutes ago. **

"Ally, are these all of your suitcases?" **Dez asks me.**

"Yeah. A large one with clothes, shoes, makeup, pictures etc. Three carry on's with comforts from home."

"Alright, well I'm going to bring your stuff down to the car.

"You really don't have to. At least let me help."

"No, I'll be right back in."

**I decide to take this time to hold Trish's hand and hug her at the same time.** "This is it. It's really happening?"

"I'm going to miss you so so much. This isn't goodbye. Okay?"

"It's an I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah."

"Hey Al, I want to give you something**." She hands me her favorite satin leopard scarf. **"No, Trish this is your favorite."

"Take it Al. You can hold onto it for me until the next time I see you."

**I sigh, Dez comes back up the stairs**. "Ally we really need to get going to the airport. So let's say see ya later to Trish and then DeDe will drive us there."

**We say our see you soon's and then leave to get in the car. Trish walks us over and we hug her one last time, close the door. She walks back up to my front porch and waves us off with a sad smile.**

"Hey DeDe. Thanks for driving us to the airport. I really appreciate it." **She just smiles and says it's not a problem.**

**I sit in the back seat with Dez and buckle myself in and lean my head on his shoulder. My phone beeps and I open my eyes to see that it's a text from Austin. **

From Austin:

Baby, I couldn't sleep last night at all. I left you a message, but I don't think you got it. I'm coming over there to see you. Now.

**DeDe starts the car, after I read the text from Austin. I just close my eyes not wanting to keep them open on the drive over to the airport. I hear Dez's phone start ringing shortly after I receive that text and I drift off into sleep wanting to leave this all behind.**

* * *

A/N: Okay guys, I'm seriously crying. This was so draining to write and it's not even the beginning of what's to come. I really really hope that you guys enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. I'm well aware this is extremely sad, but it had to be done. Please bear with me and forgive me. xoxo


	6. Time's Running Out

**Updating while watching pre-season Giants football. As a die-hard Giants fan I hope that you guys realize just how much I love you to be doing this. XOXO**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel. I don't own song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I literally haven't slept all night eventhough I have been laying in bed this entire morning. I turn to look at my clok and see that it's about nine o'clock so Ally should be awake by now and decide to text her. **

Baby, I couldn't sleep at all last night. I'm coming to see you. Now.

**I sent the text, but when I didn't get an immediate reply I decided to try and call Dez. Maybe he'll pick up for me?**

**It goes straight to voice-mail. **

**Fuck.**

**I then proceeded to call Trish's phone and it just kept ringing and ringing and ringing. Screw this. I decide to take a really fast shower, get out, dry off and get dressed and since I crashed at my parents last night yell down to my mom and dad in the kitchen. **

"Mom, I'll be back later. I'm going to Ally's."

**I walk into the kitchen, and see that my mom has the t.v. on and tuned to E News and I see myself and Ally on T.V. At the top of the screen is Austin Moon FIRES HIS BEST FRIEND AS HIS SONGWRITER.**

_This Just In: Austin Moon fires Ally Dawson his long-time songwriter. Word on the street is that Austin has already hired a new songwriter. It looks like Miss Dawson is _

_going somewhere with none other than Austin Moon's best friend Dez Wade. We've had our suspicions that Dez and Ally secretly have a thing for each other, but it_

_ looks like there's a new couple to look for "Dally" It looks like Ally's leaving Miami and for a very long time. If not forever. Way to go Austin! It's no secret that Ally's _

_your best friend, but it looks like you just lost her. There's not a snowball's chance in hell that she's going to come back._

**Then, there's a picture of the brunette beauty's suitcases and her and Dez leaving the car door is open and they are hugging Trish. **

"Mom what's going on?"

"I should ask you the same question." **She pauses and then continues,** "You fired Ally?"

"Mom, please let me-" **She cuts me off putting her hand up.** "I'm disappointed in you Austin. You put that girl through so much. You're too selfish to realize that what you do directly impacts her."

"Dad?" **He takes my mother's hand from across the table and starts rubbing circles on it to soothe her. **"Your mother is right. This is such a massive error on your part. I thought we raised you to have better judgment, but apparently you still make piss poor decisions even at twenty-three years old. When the hell are you going to grow up?"

**I look at both my parents with a stressed look and sense of urgency written all over my face. **" I am."

**My father speaks up takes a sip of his coffee, **"Then I suggest you start acting like it. Go. I'd wish you luck, I'm sure your mother wants to as well because you're going to need it. But it's time for you to learn what your life is going to be like without Ally." **He then puts his coffee down and goes back to reading the newspaper.**

"One of these days you will realize that she's the best thing that's ever happened to you." **My mother says to me.**

**I look at the T.V. which now has another picture of Ally and Dez in the back of DeDe's car with her head resting on his shoulder.**

"I realize that now." **I say as firmly as I possibly can.**

**She lets a tear slip down her face and looks at me with sadness and true pity. **"No, you really don't Austin. It will take truly losing Ally for you remember who you really are."

**I have to get to the house. Now. I grab my keys and wallet and run out the front door like a bat out of hell.**

* * *

**I drive to Ally's and when I get there only Trish's car is sitting in her driveway. I see Trish standing on the porch and rush to meet her on the stairs. The door is wide open and I'm hoping that maybe just maybe E News was making up the picture that I just saw on the t.v. a few minutes ago. I rush past Trish and she follows me up the stairs calling my name but it's hard to focus right now.**

"ALLY! ALLY! ALLY!" **I sprint up the stairs skipping a few steps at a time and luckily I didn't fall on my face and crack my teeth.**

**I finally reach Ally's bedroom and open her door and see that her once filled room looks empty. I start breathing in and out heavily and it feels like I am having an actual panic attack. **

**Trish touches my shoulder to let me know that she's here. I turn to look at her as I go to sit down on Ally's bed. I throw my hands up in frustration running my hands through my hair and putting my head in my hands.**

'WHERE IS SHE TRISH? WHERE IS SHE GOING WITH DEZ? I was watching E News and the story leaked that I fired Ally as my songwriter and the paparazzi had a few pictures posted. You were hugging Ally and Dez and then Dez and Ally in the back of DeDe's car."

"I HAVE TO GO AFTER HER TRISH. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HER."

"No Austin. You're not going to go after her because I'm not going to let you."

"LIKE HELL YOU AREN'T."

**She pushes a finger into my chest, **"LISTEN TO ME YOU SELFISH DICK. ALLY WANTED ME TO GIVE THIS TO YOU." **She shoves an envelope towards me with my name on the outside completely sealed.**

**I take it and Trish comes to sit next to me on Ally's bed as I open the envelope not ready for what it could possibly say.**

* * *

**** The Letter ****

Dear Austin,

By the time you read this, I will already be gone. I don't really know what to say, honestly I can't believe I'm even writing you this because quite frankly you don't even deserve that. I'm going on an international tour with Dez. Ronnie called me yesterday and I'm leaving in less than an hour. It is fine because we said our goodbyes last night. Even if you did somehow get to me before the jet takes off, you're not going to stop me. I have put your needs before mine for so long all because I love you. I really wish that I didn't, but when it comes to love we really don't have a say in the matter. We're done Austin. You have hurt me in a way that is actually impossible to explain. I have put up with so much from you and for so long that I have nothing left. I can't go on fighting and loving you enough for the both of us anymore. So to quote Papa Roch,

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

The lyrics speak for themselves especially _I tear my heart open just to feel. _I'd rather be completely numb than love you the way that I do. That being said, your behavior yesterday was absolutely atrocious. What were you thinking when you punched Dez? Then, you proceeded to say everything to me under the sun except for what matters. I'm not going to come rushing back into your arms. I'm going to be extremely candid with what follows next. You don't love me Austin. You are not in love with me, you just love the idea of being with me. But even still your words are just empty promises. Excuse after excuse of us not being together because you didn't want it to impact our songwriting negatively. We're grown adults now, but the impacting the songwriting that's not the real reason now is it? Honestly, the issue is you. You're a man whore. You traipse around acting completely narcissistic and like you are God's gift to women. Well, you're not. You want to fuck some groupies? Go right ahead. I'm not stopping you, and honestly I really don't care what you do from this point on. I may love you, but I really don't like or even respect you now. Not in the way I used to, before you betrayed me. I hope that your new floosie songwriter whoever she is was worth destroying our friendship and our poor excuse for whatever the fuck you want to call our relationship was. Look at what you did to me, you're no longer good for me. I can't believe that I actually thought that you and I would end up together. Truth is, I should have walked away from you years ago and gotten involved with someone else. Even Elliott, Ethan and Dallas would have been better, probably have treated me better. Loving you has only brought me pain especially since you have been stringing me along for years now. I was foolish to believe that you genuinely cared about us and you wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with you. I have put you first for so long, and now I'm putting myself first. I really don't care if you need me, because I don't need you to be successful. You need to let me go. I used to always believe in us and that _we'd be a chain that never breaks, or a truth that never bends, and that you would be the glue to take my broken heart and put it back again_, but I don't any longer. So thank you for setting me free, giving me the opportunity to be happy doing what I love. Performing and being on stage, that's the one thing I can actually thank you for..ridding me of my stage fright. This heartbreak is going to make me a stronger individual. So, I guess this is goodbye. Enjoy your life and career without me.

-Ally

* * *

**I want to stand up but I feel like I have to force myself and it's like my body has become lead. I notice that she just signed her name not like she normally does with a heart and always up and diagonal towards the right. I wish she would have signed it with something other than just her name, then again From Ally would have been way worse. I'm not a psychologist but knowing her for so long has advantages. Like I can tell that by her signing just her name shows that she feels void of any emotion towards me as she's unsure of what to say or how to handle all of this. I am feeling so many emotions right now it's just extremely overwhelming. I walk over to Ally's dresser and see that she left my whistle necklace here and I just completely breakdown. I grab the whistle necklace, a while ago I had our initials engraved into it with a heart in between the A.M . 3 A.D. I place it around my neck and pace back and forth in Ally's bedroom.**

"TRISH, listen I know that you don't want me to go after her, but I have to. The thought of her being on the other side of the world is just too much for me to bear."

"Austin, if you really love her you will let her go." **She pleads with me, but I ignore what she just said and continue rambling.**

"I know that you probably hate me right now, but I can't let her just leave. She means so much to me. Did she even listen to the voice-mail I left her?"

"Oh, you mean the one at fucking three in the morning you idiot? No, she didn't. But I did! What the fuck is wrong with you? You're crazy you know that? My best friend left me here because you fucked up and now I have to do damage control. I couldn't go with Ally and Dez even if I wanted to and it's your fucking fault. Didn't you read her letter to you or absorb anything that she said in it? It's over Austin. You can't stop her."

"I am racing against the clock here Trish, I don't have time for this right now. Smack me upside the head later. I have to at least try."

**I don't even say goodbye to Trish, but I will just call her later. I have to get to the airport. Ally mentioned a jet which means that it's private and the pilot won't take off until she's ready to leave. So, there's still a chance that she hasn't left yet. There's a slim chance that she's still there, but it's a risk that I'm willing to take. I know that she's going overseas but I have no idea where. Even though I don't know where Ally's destination is I do know where to go at the airport, I can bypass security and have my passport handy if I need it. Ally's private jet will be in Terminal C and the very last gate, so I'll park the car in that terminal. While in the car a song starts playing and I nearly lose control of it because of its meaning.**

The Calling: "Wherever You Will Go"

**_So lately, been wondering_**  
**_Who will be there to take my place_**  
**_When I'm gone, you'll need love_**  
**_To light the shadows on your face_**

_If a greater wave shall fall_  
_And fall upon us all_  
_And between the sand and stone_  
_Could you make it on your own?_

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

_And maybe I'll find out_  
_A way to make it back someday_  
_To watch you, to guide you_  
_Through the darkest of your days_

**_If a great wave shall fall_**  
**_It will fall upon us all_**  
**_Well I hope there's someone out there_**  
**_Who can bring me back to you_**

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

**_Run away with my heart_**  
**_Run away with my hope_**  
**_Run away with my love_**

**_I know now, just quite how_**  
**_My life and love might still go on_**  
**_In your heart, in your mind_**  
**_I'll stay with you for all of time_**

_If I could, then I would_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_Way up high or down low_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

_If I could turn back time_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_If I could make you mine_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_  
_I'll go wherever you will go_

**The song ends and I have just reached the airport not even caring that my eyes are blood shot. I park my car and get out I could care less if it gets towed or I end up with a ticket. I run through the automatic glass doors and turn left, see escalators and I scream for people to get out of the way and run up them. I am rushing through the airport running like my life depends on it, because it really actually does. I get to security and throw all of the stuff in the bucket and walk through and there are screams coming from behind me. **

**Fuck. **

**Just what I need now screaming fans to alert the paparazzi that I'm here. I get through security and nearly fall over putting my sneakers back on and run about three miles down the airport to the very last gate. Please be there Ally. Please still be here. **

**Thank God I'm still in shape, because I would be very out of breath if I wasn't. If the fans are still screaming and chasing me I honestly couldn't tell you and truthfully they don't even matter at the moment only she does.**

**I finally reach the gate and the paparazzi starts swarming all around me. I'm being bombarded with all sorts of questions.**

Austin are you here to try to stop Ally from leaving?

Are you going with Ally and Dez?

Is it true that you hired a new songwriter just because she's hot and not necessarily for her talent?

**Flashes constantly going off and blinding me. Did I make it in time?**

* * *

**A/N: What do you guys think? Do you think Austin made it? Or did he wait too long and is now too late? xoxo**


	7. Can't We Go Back to the Start?

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the awesome song lyrics by Coldplay. **

**Listen to this song while reading the chapter. ****It is legit really sad so I wouldn't be surprised if it makes you guys cry too. **

* * *

**Austin's POV**

"Ally!" **I scream her name at least five more times. We're at an airport so planes are taking off and it's really loud so even with me yelling at the top of my lungs I'm not sure if she can hear me. I see her sleek white jet and in the distance I can see her and Dez walking up the stairs getting ready to board the plane. I run as fast as I possibly can with I'm sure the paparazzi hot on my heels, but once I pass a certain point on the strip security holds them back for me. It's not until I'm a few thousand feet away are she and Dez able to hear me screaming. They both pause on the stairs. Dez is literally just walking up the stairs and is now standing inside the door to the jet, he has his arm on the small of her back as he offers to take her hand. I want to say that Dez wants to look shocked that too see me right now, but he doesn't appear to look like he is. I scream one more time. "**WAIT!" **I'm finally at the stairs and I don't even hesitate to run up them to the one person who means the most to me in this world. She looks gorgeous and her hair is down in soft waves, even as she stands there frozen. Did she finally hear me?**

"A-Austin? What are you-"

**I run up the stairs and I'm on the step right below her. I feel my heart beating out of my chest and I know this is a bold move especially after reading her letter. It sounded like she was actually going to leave me for good and as if she wishes that she had never met me. I try to shake off any negative thoughts and focus on Ally who's now standing right in front of me. I wrap my arms around her while pulling her into me and crash her lips onto mine. While she keeps her arms are completely at her side, I can feel her hesitate like she's unsure if she wants to kiss me back. The Ally I know, my Ally would never feel like this or hesitate when she wants something she goes for it. It's like she's starting to slip away from me and slipping right through my fingers, and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I pull away and stare into her eyes for a few seconds, then I kiss her again. She's not stopping me, she kisses me back, but it's not as intense as I want it to be or need it to be. I want her to feel something. Anything. As I kiss her I can feel my tee-shirt starting to feel soaked. I put my forehead against hers and kiss her salty tears to try and convey just how sorry I really am and that I adore her. I know that I am the reason for her pain and I wish to God that I wasn't. As I look at her memories of us start flooding my brain as does the song **_The Scientist _**by Coldplay.**

**_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry_**

**_You don't know how lovely you are_**

**_I had to find you, tell you I need you_**

_Tell you I set you apart_

**With my eyes closed and our foreheads pressed together, "**Don't go. I know that a part of you still loves me." **I then open my eyes and look at her neck and see that she's still wearing the locket I bought her.**

"You're still wearing your heart locket." _Maybe there's still hope?  
_

**She ignores my comment about her necklace and says,** "I don't understand why you're here if you read my letter."

"Because, Forever and Always remember?" **I'm about to start bursting at the seams and lose complete control of my emotions. **_Or not? Keep fighting Austin._

"Austin. I meant what I said you can't stop me. I'm getting on this plane and leaving." **There's a coldness and edge yet also serious tone to her voice.**

"Please let me be the man you want me to be, the one that you deserve."

"No. You're all talk and no action." _She wants action? I'll give her action._

**_Tell me your secrets_**

_And ask me your questions_

_Oh, let's go back to the start_

_Running in circles_

_Coming in tails_

_Heads on a science apart_

**I take the whistle necklace off of my neck, motion for her to turn around so I can put it on her. When she has her back to me and I kiss the part of her neck that's exposed to me. I take the time to memorize that her hair smells like strawberries and her perfume is light and crisp and smells like a nice ocean breeze.**

"Where is your tour starting? Please tell me." **I ask her in a low husky voice.**

"You can ask my manager. She knows where Dez and I will be."

_Damn it._

"Baby, don't be like this."

"Don't be like what? Strong? Not falling into some sort of sick trap of yours? With you trying to fooling me into thinking that you love me? STOP IT AUSTIN! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH? YOU DON'T LOVE ME." **She turns her back to me and there's only five more steps until she's on that plane.**

"You're wrong Alls. Don't leave me." **I look into her eyes and let the tears begin to fall once more and whisper into her ear causing her to shiver.**

"I'm not giving up my dream for you Austin. I'm not going to be the stupid woman that you take for granted and the one that sticks around just because she prays every day that maybe just maybe he'll open his eyes. I have made so many sacrifices over the years for you and they were never acknowledged by you let alone appreciated. I didn't say anything until now because unlike you I'm selfless. I care way too much about others."

**She pauses,** "You can call it a flaw of mine."

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

**_Nobody said it was easy_**

**_No one ever said it would be this hard_**

**_Oh, take me back to the start_**

_I was just guessing_

_At numbers and figures_

_Pulling the puzzles apart_

**I put my hands in her hair,** "Caring about people the way you do and the capacity at which you are able to do it is what makes you special Ally."

"Austin."

_Questions of science_

_Science and progress_

**_Did not speak as loud as my heart_**

"I'm sorry Alls." **I walk up to the second to last stair that she's almost boarded on the plane. She turns to hug me and I take the opportunity to squeeze her tightly.** "I love you, no one else. only you. I'm begging you here. " **She cries so deeply into my chest and I can't help, but feel like I am just making everything worse. What's even worse is the way she's crying so hard it's like she's having difficulty just breathing.**

**_Tell me you love me_**

**I would give anything to have Ally tell me that she loves me right now.**

_Come back and haunt me_

_I want to rush to the start_

**I want to go back to the moment that I knew I was in love with her. You see, the truth is it was the moment I laid on eyes on her, but when I was trying to 'practice' my date with Kira with Ally's assistance of course. I saw and felt something and everything in that instant just clicked.**

**While I'm waiting for a response from her, Dez taps Ally on her shoulder.**

"Ally, the pilot said that we need to get ready to take off. Our flight is going to be twelve hours and we should have taken off about a half hour ago. We can't afford for Ronnie to be upset with you for delaying our own flight. Say goodbye to Austin, get on the plane."

**I take both of her hands and intertwine our fingers. I can feel Dez glaring at me, but I have yet to apologize to him. So, can't say that I blame him. I get as close to her as humanly possible and our eyes lock and I tell her,**

"You will never know how much you mean to me. How you make everything better, because everything is better with you. No matter what Forever & Always. I promise. No one makes me feel the way that you do. Remember?"

* * *

**Flashback**

**We had just performed** Y_ou Can Come to Me_ **at Penny's book signing and Ally had just conquered her stage fright.**

**She said to me, "**_I did it! I conquered my stage fright!"_

**I looked into her beautiful brown eyes showing that I was truly proud of her**, _"I always knew you could do it."_

**She looked up at me and smiled the brightest smile I have ever seen,** "_I'm glad you're up there with me. That was incredible, I feel like I can do anything."_

**Then I said, "**_I know I can do anything, as long as I'm with you." _**I had been wanting to kiss her for so long and everything about it felt so right while it was happening. **

**_End Flashback_**

_I know I can do anything as long as I'm with you. _

_**What I said to her... is as true today as it was the night that I had said it to her. I should have known that I was supposed to be with Ally and not Kira. Dez, Dez tried to tell me that I wanted to be with Ally. I'm pretty sure he even tried to point out **"Obviously me and Ally should be together"** when I told him that I had chosen Kira.**_

* * *

_Running in circles_

_Chasing tails_

_Coming back as we are_

**I pull away and give her one last kiss filled with all of the emotions I'm feeling in this moment and for a second, I think that maybe just maybe she'll stay with me. She doesn't say anything, so in one last final attempt I tell her,**

"Stay with me. Don't run away with my heart."

_Nobody said it was easy_

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_No one ever said it would be so hard_

_I'm going back to the start _

**She hugs me really tight and forces me to release my grip on her.**

"I can't do this anymore Austin. I can't keep wishing that you will finally realize that I'm the only person you should be with. We're getting older and I'm done wasting time and I'm not going to waste yet another year on the Pop Star that can't figure shit out. The one that doesn't even know how or if he'll ever settle down. I deserve so much more than this. The only reason you are even here right now is because you are afraid to be alone, but you have been alone for years now. You need to let me go."

** Dez comes down to where she was standing to take Ally's place as she runs up the stairs and into her private jet.**

"Dez, I have to get through to her. I'm begging you. I'm sorry Dez for everything, but especially for hitting you. I was jealous and it was totally uncalled for."

**He stands in front of me and refuses to let me get onto the jet. This is it. I'm losing my girl and possibly forever. I only have myself to blame for this.**

" I forgive you Austin. Ally needs time, while we're on tour I will look out for her. Be there when she cries because of just how badly you have broken her heart for the millionth time. I'm going to be the one to pick up the pieces. I will be the one to try to keep her grounded and not let her lose herself. Let her go, man. If she's meant to be with you then it will happen. I gotta go, for Ally's sake I'm not going to say goodbye, so just consider this a _see you later_."

"Will you at least text, call or email when you guys reach your destination?"

"Sure. See you later man."

**Dez gives me a bro hug and then runs onto the plane. I walk down the staircase with paparazzi flashing their cameras about a thousand feet away. I watch as the staircase goes up and the door to Ally's private jet closes. I look up to see Ally staring at me out her window on the jet and then turn away and runs into Dez's arms.**

**I just lost everything that's ever mattered to me.**

**And then my legs collapse from beneath me...so this is what it's like to be heartbroken?**

* * *

A/N: I'm seriously crying because it's sad and totally draining to write at the same time. Sorry it's shorter, but at least it's over 2K words. love y'all xoxo


	8. Spark

**Thanks for the reviews xoxo**

**I've had a stressful and exhausting day and so I wrote this chapter to get out the stress and/or aggravation and I'm already feeling much better. I'm sorry if this chapter isn't up to par. I tried and hopefully you guys think that it's okay.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics in this chapter either. Any modification of it is purely my own so it works better in the story. **

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I honestly had no idea what to even say to Austin. I assume that he wanted me to tell him that I love him and I forgive him, but unlike Austin I'm not a liar. If I had said what I knew that he wanted to hear it would have been a lie. I have had enough lies to last me a lifetime, but this last one was a real douzy for sure. So, I just ran onto the jet. It looks like he's having a mini conversation outside the jet with Dez. I hope that he's at least apologizing for punching Dez as I told him basically that it was beyond out of line that he did that in that 'Dear John' sort of letter.. All because he was.. JEALOUS!**

**Shocker? Right?**

**No, more like Austin thinks that he has the right to act however the hell he wants and that there are never going to be any consequences. Well, he's in for a rude fucking awakening. I wrote him that letter for a reason. I never thought he would actually come to the airport and try to stop me from leaving. God, he's so fucking arrogant. Thinking that I would just fall on my knees and beg for forgiveness when this is all on him. And don't even try to tell me otherwise. Now, you can all be pissed that I was "harsh" in my letter to him, but honestly he needs a serious fucking reality check and I really don't care what the fuck people think anymore. **

**As I'm in the middle of ranting in my head, I look out the window and see Dez and Austin finishing the conversation. God, this is killing me. I just want to get the fuck out of here already. I'm ready to leave this life behind here in Miami and never look back.**

**I can't take this anymore. Come on already hurry up Dez. I think to myself. Dez walks onto the jet and I go running into his arms. He just holds me and tries to soothe me. I'm feeling an array of so many different emotions I've gone from pissed to really upset in literally a matter of seconds.**

"Dez, how can Austin do this to me? Doesn't he realize how selfish it was for him to show up and say the things that he said to me?" **I pull away from Dez's warm comforting body to look up and wait for an answer.**

**He sighs, here comes _The Love Whisperer's _input, "**He loves you. I know that it might not seem like it, but he does. I'm not Austin, but I can tell you that he's acting how a guy truly in love with a girl would act. He wanted to come onto the jet to try and get through to you, but I refused to let him. I told him that you needed time and basically let the universe do its work ."

"I just can't believe how careless of a heart Austin has. Dez when is the pain I'm feeling going to stop?" **I'm feeling completely exasperated right now. **

"Honestly, I don't know Ally. It may never stop. You two love each other more than I have ever seen anyone else have in my entire life. No matter what he does. He's still your Austin, even when he's acting like a total fucking idiot which granted is the majority of the time, but we still love him nonetheless." **He pauses for a moment, **"I told Austin that I would watch after you while we're away on tour."

**You know what, I'm changing the subject,** "Dez we need to talk about our-"

"Kiss." **He finishes my sentence for me and sends me a bashful smile.**

"Yeah that." **I say kind of awkwardly and smile back at him, but I mean I wasn't expecting him to just jump the gun and take the words right out of my mouth.**

"I'm sorry that it got interrupted and by Austin of all people. Listen. I -" **He puts both hands on my shoulders, starts to rub them to assure me he meant what he said.**

**And just like that it's as if he could read my mind.**

"Ally, I know you're in no place right now to be with me or anyone else. Your heart probably feels jaded. I just want you to understand that, I get it. If we're meant to happen then we will at some point. I won't ever push you into doing anything you don't want to do with me. No pressure. Okay?"

_Whoa, that's basically what I was going to say to him more or less._

**I look into Dez's eyes to shield any pain I am feeling about Austin at the moment, well at least I am trying to,** "I just don't want to hurt you and honestly..I'm really heartbroken and pissed off beyond belief right now. I don't want to take any anger or resentment I either have now or may feel about or towards Austin out on you. I mean you're Austin's best friend and are completely separate from my situation with him.. well, I tried to keep it that way until he threw you in the middle of our shitshow. I'm so sorry that he got you involved."

"I appreciate that Ally. I'm here for you. However; if and when you need me. I'm here. You can lean on me."

_Wow._

"I don't want this to be awkward, but just know that the kiss was well...nice." **I lean up to him and kiss his cheek. I have this attraction towards him, it's just that I am so emotionally fucked up right now that I won't let myself kiss him again. I can't just do that and end up hurting Dez in the long run. He doesn't deserve to be punished for someone else's mistakes.**

"Yes it was, I know that we didn't have the time to process what, why or how we even let it happen, but even still. It was great. Let's not worry about that right now. Now, since I know that you write your best songs when you're feeling feelings. Why don't we sit down and strap ourselves into our seats and you can start writing your first hit song?" **He takes my hand and pulls me to our seats. The pilot comes on the intercom, says that he's going to get ready to head towards the runway and that Dez and I need to stay seated and buckled until he lets us know it's safe to move around in the air. **

"Just, thank you Dez. Really I mean it, thank you. You're always there when I need someone."

"I'd do anything to make you happy."

"For the next twelve hours, I want you to just sit next to me while I write a kick-ass song and then we can talk or sleep or whatever after. Sound good?" **We take our seats and fasten our seat belts and the next thing I know we're on the runway and ready to take off, he holds my hand and intertwines our fingers because he knows that take-off always makes me nervous. I look at him, give him a genuine and appreciative smile. It's not forced, it's just easy. **

"Sure, you better start writing before all of your creativity and inspiration goes out the window." **I look at him totally confused.**

"Yes, I do know that you have four more songs that you want to write for your tour. Kind of like bonus tracks."

"How did you-" **He cuts me off,**

"I just know." **Wow, he knows me better than I thought he did. **

_Seems like he pays quite a bit of attention to you, your likes and dislikes. _

**Shut up.**

**After telling my own Jiminy cricket to basically shut the fuck up, I collect my thoughts and start to get focused. Okay now, where to start? Oh, how about that being nice has gotten me absolutely nowhere! The guy that I love takes me for granted. What's even worse is that I let him treat and act that way all because I was blinded by love. Tell me, what's the fucking point of this anyways? Love. I'm so over all of the fucking heartache that comes along with it. I'm finished getting my heart completely broken. I'm going to be the one in complete control, I'm going to be in control of the guy or guys I choose to interact with on tour, if at all. I really don't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks of me anymore. I'm going to do me, act however I damn well please. I honestly just really don't care. I grab my songbook and start writing the lyrics that are just flowing right out of me.**

_**Really Don't Care**_: Demi Lovato feat Cher Lloyd

_**You wanna play, you wanna stay, you wanna have it all**_

_**You started messing with my head until I hit a wall**_

_**Maybe I should've known, maybe I should've known**_

_**That you would walk, you would walk out the door, hey!**_

_**Said we were done, then met someone and rubbed it in my face**_

**Well that pretty much happened. He fired me and found a new songwriter and I'm sure it's because she was insanely hot and not because she had any real talent. **

**Dick.**

_Cut to the part, she broke your heart, and then she ran away_

_I guess you should've known, I guess you should've known_

_That I would talk, I would talk_

_**But even if the stars and moon collide**_

_**I never want you back into my life**_

_**You can take your words and all your lies**_

_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

**I feel so stupid and like he's been lying to me for God knows how long about this. I'm done believing anything Austin says.**

_Even if the stars and moon collide_

_I never want you back into my life_

_You can take your words and all your lies_

_Oh oh oh I really don't care_

_Oh oh oh I really don't care_

_**I can't believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you**_

* * *

**Remember when I wrote I Think About You?**

_Yeah, I wish that I never wrote that. _

**Remember when he wrote Steal Your Heart?**

_It was all just a show Austin put on._

* * *

_**You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you**_

_Well, isn't that the truth. All he does is use you and take you for granted. Let's see how long he lasts as Mr. Hotshot Heartthrob Pop Star when you aren't writing hit songs for him. _

_Oh no not anymore, oh no not anymore_

_**You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go**_

_Which time? Because let's see. I can think of at least three occasions._

**_Now if we meet out on the street I won't be running scared_**

_**I'll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air**_

_The middle one._

_And make you understand, and make you understand_

_**You had your chance, had your chance**_

* * *

**He'll be sorry and he'll wish that he never fucked everything up with me. I'll show that asshole what I'm really made of.**

* * *

_But even if the stars and moon collide_

_I never want you back into my life_

_**You can take your words and all your lies**_

_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

_**Even if the stars and moon collide**_

_**I never want you back into my life**_

_You can take your words and all your lies_

_Oh oh oh I really don't care_

_Oh oh oh I really don't care_

* * *

_Okay, so I need a hook and I'll write this part as if Trish is writing and singing the lyrics as if we were still in glee club back in high school. I'll have to find someone to sing her part though._

* * *

[**Trish**]

_Yeah, listen up_

_Hey, hey, __**never look back,**_

_**Dumb struck boy, ego intact**_

_**Look boy, why you so mad**_

_**Second guessin', but should've hit that**_

_You go girl!_

_**Hey **__**Ally**__**, you picked the wrong lover**_

_**Should've picked **__**that one**__**, he's cuter than the other**_

**I'm not even going to say who.**

_**I just wanna laugh, cause you're tryna be a hipster**_

_**Kick it to the curb, take a Polaroid picture**_

* * *

_**Kick him to the curb, take a Polaroid because the pain won't last longer than Polaroid picture will.**_

* * *

_**But even if the stars and moon collide**_

_**I never want you back into my life**_

_**You can take your words and all your lies**_

_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

_Even if the stars and moon collide_

_I never want you back into my life_

_You can take your words and all your lies_

_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

* * *

**Dez's POV [Time Skip]**

**Its been a few hours and Ally's been extremely concentrated on writing this new 'hit' song. I just know that it's going to be. She's so talented and beautiful, did I mention beautiful? I want to take a peek at her lyrics, but whenever she wrote a song all alone she wouldn't even let Austin look at her song until it was completely finished and to her standards. It's hard to believe that hours earlier.. my best friend literally made a last ditch effort to get Ally to forgive him. I want to tell you that I feel bad for Austin, but he brought this all on himself. I want to tell you that his arrogance and showing up surprised me, but it didn't. I can't believe that he just fired Ally; he literally turned Ally's world upside down. Was he thinking with his brain or his penis? To put it simply, he was thinking with his penis. He probably met this 'songwriter' who will never be as good as Ally and thought she was insanely hot and wanted to get to spend time with her and find his way into getting into 'said songwriter's' pants. **_God, he really is fucking crazy sometimes. Why would anyone ever give up Ally for something less amazing than she is? _**I could tell you how many times Austin's really fucked up with Ally.**

**It all started with Cassidy. The songstress with a killer voice and Austin asked Ally to write a song about Cassidy when he couldn't communicate his feelings. Hey, just because I was having an insane chicken pot pie obsession when all of this was going on doesn't mean that I wasn't aware of what was happening. Ally tried the best that she could to work with the words Austin had given her to try and write a song that Cassidy would like. When Ally couldn't deliver I heard him say that Ally is the reason he blew his chances with Cassidy. Again, I should have come to Ally's rescue and knocked Austin on his ass, but I mean he's my best friend and I was hoping that he would see the error in his ways and fix things with Ally. Of course he and Ally made up and then Austin took advantage of the fact that he knew Ally loves' love that she wrote **_Heartbeat_**. I don't care if it's catchy it just irritates the shit out of me knowing that he hurt Ally the way he did when she was only trying to be a good friend.**

**Moving on, Kira. Oh where do I even start? Well, she's the daughter of Austin's recording label owner. I cast Kira in the role for **_Ordinary Day'_**and man was that a nightmare. Austin, well even with Kira's bad breath he just didn't want to kiss her. I could have saved myself a lot of aggravation if I told Ally that she should and would have to do it. I told him to just suck it up and that he needed to be professional about Kira's lack of hygiene. It turns out Kira's breath was wreaking because of eating anchovies. Anyways, when Austin finally gave Kira a real chance and stopped being shallow for a hot second she recognized that it was apparent that Austin and Ally had feelings for each other. Something that I had known way before anyone else. How did I know this? Well, let's just say Austin never kept his feelings towards Ally a secret from me, as I'm very observant even on the first day we met Ally I could tell that he thought Ally was cute. He then proceeded to get to know her and spend time with her even when they weren't writing songs. Also, **_Not a Love Song_**, is totally a love song. Trish's quinceanera, Austin chose to dance with Ally when Dallas said he couldn't. And then when they performed **_Don't Look Down_** at the Halloween Bash when Ally filled in for Taylor Swift? Need I say more? I saw the way that they were looking at each other and it was like they were finally willing to admit that they had at least liked each other. Oh right, anyways Austin chose Kira over Ally. I tried to show him that I was TEAM ALLY. I had shirts made and everything. I really didn't like Kira to be honest, but she just wasn't right for Austin. He was constantly overthinking things between Ally and Kira. Who the hell even knows what he was thinking when he picked her..but at least KIRA was the only one smart enough to realize that Austin and Ally were meant to be together at the time and that myself and Trish thought and wanted them together as well. Austin was being a coward. I even tried to show and flat out tell Austin that when Elliott came to town and he was acting jealous and insecure that he was in love with Ally, but no he didn't listen to me...because Austin Moon thinks that he knows everything.**

**Finally, let's talk about the most current/old high school girlfriend before Austin realizes that he wants to be with Ally. Piper. I don't care if she's my ex-girlfriends sister. She literally made Austin jump through hoops to prove that he was into her. Granted, once again Austin proved he was shallow as Carrie and I tried to set him up with Piper and she was not Austin's type in the picture I showed her, but that's all it was just a picture. Piper was actually pretty and bohemian-like. Now, Piper's not a completely awful human being but even crazy Brooke is better than her and she didn't make Austin do anything to impress her. I know.. shivers Brooke. That girl was literally obsessed with Austin. Anyways, I didn't like that Austin had to go above and beyond to impress Piper. He literally made a fool of himself. Climbing a tree to get her coconut water, not using hair products, not bathing, wearing a potato sack, telling him that she doesn't believe in cell phones...What really pissed me off is that he was willing to do this for a girl that he just met, yet he wasn't willing to do any of this for Ally? Damn straight I was pissed, yet I was kind of glad that he was finally getting a taste of his own medicine. He wasn't man enough to tell Ally that he wanted to be with her and wussed out and let Gavin just steal his girl away from him? I'm sorry, but that's kind of ridiculous and when I was younger and less mature I was about as eccentric as they come. Yes, even I thought he was foolish to let her slip through his fingers.**

**I start to think about my conversation with Ally earlier. I told Austin that I would watch out for her. Yes, I'm doing it for Austin, but more-so for myself so I know that nothing bad will happen to Ally as long as I'm around to keep her safe.**

**When Ally said, **"I can't believe how careless of a heart Austin has."

**When it comes to Ally, she couldn't have been more dead on. Austin wants her to himself, yet they aren't together or anything official like that and he doesn't want anyone else to have her either. It's completely selfish, he takes advantage of Ally being a 'safe choice' for him and treating her like he would a girlfriend but not one he actually loves but out of convenience...until the next 'hot' piece of ass comes his way. He's completely reckless when it comes to her heart and it's as if as the majority of the time Ally's feelings don't really matter. It's a shame because he used to care about her and show her that she meant the world to him, but he's lost sight of how special Ally really is. Something that I already see. I have Ally's best interest at heart because I just want her to be happy.**

**I'm interrupted when Ally squeezes my arm pulling me out of my thoughts.**

"Dez, I just finished the song." **She kisses me on the cheek, my cheeks start to heat up.**

"Are you feeling any better?" _Better be smoothe, Mercutio. Or should I say Tybalt?_

**Hey was that really necessary?**

"Well, no but at least I'm not crying at the moment." **Her eyes start to get watery and puffy again.**

**And then Ally starts to cry,** "Hey Al, it's going to be okay." **I rub her shoulders and try to relax her, but it was to no avail. She's really really upset and she just cries harder. I can tell that maybe she's already missing him, but fuck.**

"No, I really don't think it is. When Austin just dismissed me as a songwriter it brought me back to all the times he chose other girls over me. I won't even mention their names, but I know that you know which one's I am referring to. Why am I never enough for him?"

**She lets the tears fall freely down her face,** "I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. I don't have the answers only Austin knows what Austin thinks and feels."

**I really want to kiss her right now, take away the pain that she's feeling but it wouldn't be right. **

**I turn my head and take her chin with my pointer finger and give her an intense look,** " I really want to kiss you right now and take away your pain, but I just can't. I'm so sorry. I wish that you weren't feeling this way and if Austin ever gets in my face again...I'll kick his ass. Sound good?"**I want our moment to not be impulsive or forced. I want it to be easy and natural if it ever happens again.**

_Why do I always have to be the good guy? The loyal best friend to a guy that can't even appreciate Ally's inner and outer beauty?_

**She laughs a little,** "Thank you for not taking advantage of my vulnerability. Not many guys would be truly genuine like you are right now. I care about you Dez. I'm not just saying that I really do."

_This is crazy, I feel like I'm betraying Austin, but I just feel this spark with her. I won't do anything to push her and I meant that. I don't want to talk about this anymore so I change the subject._

"Only six hours left until we're in Ireland and starting your first World Tour! What do you say we go to sleep so we're not totally jet lagged when we get there?"

**Ally nods her head and leans it onto my shoulder. I take my arm and put it around her shoulder, kiss her hand and she blushes and I can see it out of the corner of my eye and then we fall into a hopefully peaceful sleep.**

**I can't believe that I get to travel with one of my best friends and spend quality time with her and have it be just us for the next six months.**

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A/N: Review it up darlings! xo

**Thoughts? Is Dez right when he said that he knows that there's no way that Ally could be with him or anyone remotely serious right now?**

**What do you guys think I have in store for Ally? After all, she's going to be Ramone Records hottest and most desirable artist.**

**Did you like Dez's POV?**

**Do you think that Ally would ever use Dez as some sort of 'rebound'? Do you think that she's conflicted about whatever she feels with him at the moment? Does Austin have anything to do with this?**


	9. Drive Myself Crazy

**Thanks for the reviews guys! xoxo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

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**Austin's POV**

**I'm walking through the airport and there's already a news story on the jumbo screen t.v.'s throughout the airport.**

_***Ally Dawson leaves Austin Moon out in the cold! The brunette beauty was just seen getting on a private jet with none other than Austin's best friend Dez Wade. It looks like Austin lost his songwriter and his best friend at the same time. __We __told you that you wouldn't have a chance after that massive screw up. Where Ally's going we're not sure, but we can't wait to find out and with Dez too! Romance could be in the near future for Dally after all.***_

**I stop in my tracks curious to see what they were going to say next and then, pictures of Ally, Dez and I are on the Entertainment Channel in the middle of the airport with probably millions of people watching. There's me kissing Ally with her arms to her side, she looks pretty tense. ****The second one is of Dez and I just talking and myself apologizing to him. There's another of me looking devastated because Ally just ran up that staircase and onto the plane without actually saying goodbye. Oh, and there's one of my collapse on my knees, on the concrete with my head in my hands as my world completely fell apart.**

**Fucking Perfect.**

* * *

**Minutes Earlier**

**It took some time but I was able to get myself up and security was holding off the paparazzi and any other reporters so I was able to escape. I had no doubt in my mind that Ally rejecting me was about to become a very public interest.**

**I managed to call Trish and asked her to meet me at my house. She said that she wasn't just going to leave Ally's and that if I really wanted to talk that I should go back to Ally's house. So here I am again, pulling into Ally's driveway and hoping that I can evade the media.**

**I knock on the front door and Trish opens it looking completely unraveled.**

"So I guess you didn't get Ally back?" **She smirks at me already knowing the answer.**

"Would I look like this if I had gotten her back?" **I deadpan motioning to how awful I look right now.**

"Don't you dare give me a fucking attitude Austin. Especially when I am the only one that you have left! The only person that you can blame this on is yourself. Dez and I have tried to tell you countless times that Ally deserves to be adored, completely adored and not treated like she's someone's dirty little secret. Oh and I called that new songwriter of yours Tiffany, she sounded like a complete bimbo and actually called you a fool for believing her when she said that she was a songwriter. Obviously, as your manager... I fired her and you are not to see or communicate with her again. Am I clear?" **Her voice might as be filled with venom because that's what it sounds like right now. **

**I nod ****my head ****, **" I wasn't -" **This is the only beginning of her lashing out.**

"Thanks to you and your asinine behavior...two of my best friends are on the other side of the world. I have to clean up your mess and help you find a new songwriter because lord knows that without Ally you're just going to be wasted talent. **She pauses,** "Don't look at me like that. You know damn well that I'm RIGHT and when we do find you another songwriter, there are no guarantees that your success as a Pop Star will continue. You're twenty-three now and have been around since you were sixteen so really you're losing your appeal. It's not like you're Justin Timberlake or Usher who just ooze even more sex appeal as they get older. You could have had that had you not fucked up royally with Ally."

**I pull at the hairs on my head in complete frustration. We're standing in the foyer with the front door closed and arguing and she starts stomping her feet up towards Ally's bedroom and I just follow her without even thinking. **

**"**Take a look around Austin. God, you're so blind I really just want to slap you. What do you see?" **She spits out,** "I'll tell you what I see I see pictures of you and Ally everywhere. I see my best friend who was so devoted to you and yet I have no fucking clue as to why. Other than the fact that she loved you completely. I see the picture of you performing _You Can Come to Me_ and she left it here; she left the one where you were the reason that she conquered her stage fright. Oh, don't think I saw you pick up your silver whistle before you left because I'm sure that you brought it to her. You were never brave enough to tell her how you felt about her, Dez and I literally had to push you guys together. You have gone from girl to girl to girl and none of the pathetic excuses you call 'relationships' ever work out? WHY THE FUCK DO YOU THINK THAT IS AUSTIN?"

**She pauses and shoves my shoulder to make sure that I'm listening, "**You want to know how else Ally really feels, she left her journal here, well one of them. I'm only giving you this so you can get your head out of your ass and come up with some sort of plan. **She is standing at Ally's desk and chucks it over to me,** She starts a new one whenever the next chapter in her life starts. This one right here has events from the last year. up until this morning. Then again, you would know that if you weren't so fucking self-absorbed and looking for your next flavor of the week!"

"Trish. Can you just stop? I just lost the girl that I love more than anything and my longest best friend on the same day. Not to mention that I have to try to come to terms with the idea that Ally and Dez might actually end up together. I'm sure that Dez will try his hardest to remain loyal to me, but look what I put Ally through. Nothing is for certain."

"More than anything? If you "love" Ally more than anything you wouldn't have put us in this fucking situation to begin with. I'm going to say this as your friend. Man the fuck up! You want something to change then make it happen! I'm not going to baby you and tell you that Ally is still in love with you, and that she's going to come back because there's a very real possibility that she won't. She may love Europe so much that even after her tour is over she'll move out there. These are all very real possibilities. Stop being a pathetic excuse of a man and fucking get your life on track."

**She pauses and then continues her verbal beat down, **

"I'm so fed up with your antics Austin. You don't think this is hard for me? I've read some of her journal entries and I want to throttle you for making Ally feel the way that you did and not in a positive way. Ally's been my best friend for longer than I can remember. Now, I have to go six months without seeing her, spending time with her and hugging her all because you're a narcissistic prick. I already miss her, I've been crying for hours now and it feels like it's never going to stop. I don't have a sister, but Ally is the closest thing I have to a sister and your actions took her away from me. Now, I'm going to be professional about this. I am going to find you some songwriter, clean up your mess and then I'm going to find my best friend and Dez on tour. I won't hesitate to leave you here if you're still acting like an brat by the time I fix your fucking professional life up."

"Will you tell me where Ally's starting her tour?"

"Ireland." **She thinks for a second before beginning again, **"I'm not telling you anything else. I hope that you are up for that shitshow that you created because the paparazzi is going to be following you and Ally everywhere you go. Everything in your lives is likely to be documented all because you had to make an massively impulsive decision without consulting me or even thinking about having Ally's best interest at heart. You are a coward Austin, honestly you don't deserve my best friend. I hope to God that Ally finds whatever it is she is looking for and/or whoever she wants on tour."

**I go to open my mouth,** "Don't even think about going to Ireland! I swear to God Austin, so help me. I don't care if you call her obsessively, that's your prerogative, but I am not going to let Ally give up her dream for you. She was so patient and understanding and unlike you...she always put you first. Ally's allowed to tell you to go fuck yourself now and is entitled to feel, say, think or do whatever she wants when it comes to you."

**I'm speechless. I know that I was asking for this kind of treatment from Trish especially with how I've been acting, but I was hoping that she would be supportive or at least pretend to be.**

"Wake the fuck up Austin! lLOOK AROUND! ALLY'S GONE! All that's left of hers are some random things, clothes she didn't want to take, pictures she didn't want to bring, an old journal. Don't you get it she wants to leave everything behind in Miami?! Her old life and everything else that comes with it." **Trish completely breaks down and I go to touch her shoulder and she walks away from me and towards the radio which I've just noticed is playing Ally's N*Sync cd.**

"Why are you playing Ally's N*Sync cd? When did this song come on?"

"I went to turn on the radio and forgot that we listened to some of the cd last night. I just wanted to feel like she was here with me again, but reality has set in and she's not."

**Ally loved N*Sync growing up and obsessed and fangirled whenever she saw a music video or an interview with them in it. Her heart belonged to N*Sync though, in particular Justin, but I'll save that information for another time. We'd be sitting in the car driving and Ally would be belting out the lyrics to this song in particular. She had said,** "It's just sexy that there are guys that actually are willing to express how lost they are without their girl and can own up to their mistakes."

**The first time Ally and I broke up I listened to this song on repeat and in secret for quite a while. It's just that I could relate to it so much, we both wanted our relationship to work but we just weren't seeing eye to eye. I actually sang this song to her since it's one of her favorites and I did it in private as it was just for Ally. It was after she broke up with Gavin. When I successfully got her back one of the few times its already happened. I was basically telling her that I wanted to be with her and only her and I never intended for us to break up.**

**Drive Myself Crazy - N*Sync**

_**Lying in your arms so close together**_  
**_Didn't know just what I had_**  
**_Now I toss and turn cause I'm without you_**  
**_How I'm missing you so bad_**  
**_Where was my head? Where was my heart?_**  
**_Now I cry alone in the dark_**

_I lie awake, I drive myself crazy_  
_Drive myself crazy thinking of you_  
**_Made a mistake when I let you go baby_**  
**_I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do_**  
_(Wanting you the way that I do)_

**_I was such a fool, I couldn't see it_**  
**_Just how good you were to me_**

**Isn't that the truth? Ally was always so amazing towards me and sure I appreciated her when we were younger, but what about now? If I actually continued I wouldn't be in her bedroom with Trish but out on a date with her or something instead.**

_(Just how good you were to me)_  
**_You confessed your love_**  
_(You confessed your love)_  
**_Undying devotion_**  
**_I confessed my need to be free_**

**All of those vapid slutty girls that I've chosen over Ally. What the fuck was I thinking?**

**_And now I'm left with all this pain_**  
**_I've only got myself to blame, no_**

_I lie awake I drive myself crazy_  
**_Drive myself crazy thinking of you_**  
**_Made a mistake when I let you go baby_**  
**_I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do_**  
_(Wanting you the way that I do)_

**_Why didn't I know it?_**  
**_(How much I loved you baby)_**  
**_Why couldn't I show it?_**  
**_(If I had only told you)_**  
**_When I had the chance_**  
**_Oh, I had the chance_**

**_I drive myself crazy_**  
_Oh so crazy_

**_I lie awake I drive myself crazy_**  
**_Drive myself crazy thinking of you_**  
_Made a mistake let you go baby_  
_(Made a mistake)_  
_I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do_

_I lie awake I drive myself crazy_  
_(I drive myself)_  
_Drive myself crazy_  
_(Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy yeah!)_  
_Made a mistake let you go baby_  
_(Made a mistake)_  
_I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do_  
_I drive myself crazy wanting you the way that I do_

**She's been gone less than twenty-four hours and I'm already feeling like I'm driving myself crazy thinking about her. I guess what they say is true, **"You never really know what you have until it's gone."** This song literally describes my life at the moment.**

* * *

**A/N: Whoa, Trish is legit flipping a shit on Austin right now. Can you honestly blame her though? Who thinks it's about time that Austin realize that his actions have real consequences? **

**xoxo**


	10. Ireland & Meeting My Opening Act

**Reviews are very much appreciated. xoxo**

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or the Disney Channel. I don't own anything mentioned

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**Ally's POV**

**I wake up and realize we're still on my private jet. I'm snuggled up to Dez as he has his arm around me. I start to stir and open my eyes to see our faces inches apart and his rejuvenated bright blue eyes. His hair is falling in his eyes, just like Austin's does. So without thinking I just brush his hair out of his face with my hand.**

**He smiles and sits up, still not moving his arm from around me.** "Hey." **He says in a husky sort of groan.**

"Hi."** I pause for a second,**

"So uh, I think that we'll be landing soon. What should we do tonight?"

"We should get drunk with the Irishmen!" **He says enthusiastically. I look at him like with a **_really_** look on my face.  
**

"Dez, you've seen me drunk before..."

"I know and its been a while, but you're fun when you're drunk. You need to let loose and get your mind off of things. We don't have to go to a nightclub, why don't we just go to a pub instead?"

"Laid-back and low key maybe the paparazzi won't bother us while we're in Ireland?"

"I wouldn't count on it. Do you see how hot you look right now?" **I blush.**

"Should I change?"

"Your outfit? Definitely not."

"Well, so far I am liking what I'm seeing, but for the record I still like you dressed as your old self as well too."

**The pilot comes over the intercom,** " Miss Dawson and Mr. Wade we will be landing shortly. Please keep your seat-belts fastened until we have touched ground and have come to a complete halt and are at the gate. Thank you."

**A few minutes later and we're descending as I look out the window. I'm stunned by the aesthetic beauty and greenery Ireland has to offer. It's so much more beautiful outside of the U.S. especially because there's less pollution. We're going to be landing at the Dublin Airport in a few minutes. Our descent is very smooth and Dez takes hold of my hand until we hit the runway and I squeeze his hand to thank him for attempting to calm my nerves. We're taxiing for a few minutes and the pilot tells us we're free to move about our cabin, so I go to the restroom and touch up my makeup before we have to get off the jet.**

**The doors open as does the staircase to the private jet and Dez and I walk down them and once we're down the stairs wait for our suitcases to be taken off the plane, grab them. Waiting for us at the airport is a black Lincoln Town Car with our very own personal driver. He takes all of our bags and we get in the car and head over to our hotel The Westin. After about a ten minute drive we pull up to the hotel and see a massive light tan stone building. We walk into the hotel and my breath is just taken away. The detail in the lobby alone is incredible. The bellboys take our luggage up to the room, while Dez and I go up to the front desk to check in to our separate, but his close to mine either adjacent to or directly across the hall. We take the elevator up to the fifth floor and go to our room 506 and room 507. I walk into my suite and through the doors there is the living room area, bathroom, bedroom, balcony, bathroom, but in the bedroom there's a spiral staircase that goes up to the next floor and it's a library filled with books! This makes me so unbelievably happy, I have to remember to thank Ronnie later for this. I walk up the spiral stairs and see two chairs, a loveseat and a desk. I grab my room key and go across the hall to Dez's hotel room. It's similar to mine in appearance on he has the basic suite without the split-level library like mine has. His room is just as nice as mine, the only thing that puts mine over the top is a library. How cool is that? Am I right?**

"Hey, so what do you think of your room?" **I ask him curious to see what he thinks.**

"I really like it." **He smiles back at me.**

"Hey, come over to my room. I have yet to go out on the balcony, but my guess is the view is probably going to be awesome."

**We walk across the hall to my split-level library suite, I use my key to open the door and we walk straight past my Queen Size bed towards the balcony which has a sliding glass door. I open the doors and we have a view of Trinity College which has beautiful stone architecture, also our driver told us that The Temple Bar is very close to the hotel as well.**

"This is a pretty cool view Al. You have stone buildings and the mountains in Dublin right behind them." **He puts his arm around me as we just stare at the beautiful view.**

"Are you ready to start your tour now?"

"This is really happening. I'm going to start my own INTERNATIONAL TOUR!" **I'm literally screeching in excitement.**

"Yeah, speaking of." **I interrupt him, **

"I'll call Ronnie right now and find out if he's in Ireland or who is going to be in charge of running my shows smoothly." **I pick up the phone to dial Ronnie, he said his associate Jordan is going to be my manager for the first six months abroad, to not worry because she knows what she's doing. He said that I should relax today and we'll get to work and rehearse tomorrow. He also mentioned that he wants me to meet my opening act down at the bar downstairs in a few hours and that Dez may accompany me if I wish him to do so. I tell Ronnie thank you and that I appreciate everything. I relay the information to Dez and he tells me to get ready.**

"Should I change since I'm meeting whoever is going to be headlining my tour with me in a few hours?"

"No, you look perfect. Why don't you just relax in here for a bit while I start unpacking, and then I'll come get you when we have to go down to the bar?"

"Sounds good to me, I should probably do the same." **He walks out of my room and across the hall to his. I decide to turn on my phone, take it out of airplane mode. I have multiple texts coming through. One from Trish asking me to tell her Dez and I arrived safely. I take a picture of my room and library part of the suite real quick with,** "We just arrived and I'm going to start unpacking. Wish you were here. Love you! xoxo

**I have a text from my dad, tell him that I've arrived safely and so far the paparazzi has left us alone. Who knows how long that is going to last though.**

**Austin...**

_I guess the saying, "You never know what you have until it's truly gone is true. Baby, I miss you so much already."_

**Ugh! Seriously I'm not in the fucking mood for this! I ignore his text and don't respond because the tears just start falling freely down my face.**

**I decide to grab my songbook and record my new song,** _Really Don't Care _**because I have the beat and tune in my head already and it'll just be easier this way when I go to rehearse it for my concerts throughout the tour.**

**I click the right side of my phone, the lock screen is Austin kissing me on the cheek. I should probably change that. I get to my home screen and it's a picture from when Austin bought me Princess Crystal Shoes and he's carrying me around the mall. I had Dez snap that picture. Ugh.**

**How the hell am I supposed to get over him with both my lock screen and home screen of the two of us in my background?**

**I open up Google and search heartbreak images and find a quote that I think will work for at least the ****home screen**.

"Pain makes you stronger. Fear makes you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser." **A- ha! This one's perfect! I save the image and go into my gallery and set it as my home screen.**

**Okay, now I need to find a picture or quote for my lock-screen.**

"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together." **- Elizabeth Taylor and saved it as my lock screen.**

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**I walk back over to my room and start to unpack, take my phone out of airplane mode and I have multiple texts from Austin.**

_Are you guys there yet safely?_

_Please answer me. I'm already going crazy._

_I just text Ally, but she's not responding to me._

**I'm about to respond when my phone starts ringing, shocker.. I pick up on the first ring because I see it's Austin calling**.

"Hey man. I was just about to text you back. Ally and I just got here, she's in her room unpacking right now."

"Well, I text-ed her and she hasn't responded back to me. I'm with Trish right now and she just responded to Trish."

"I don't know what to tell you Austin. I guess Ally's not ready to talk to you. She wrote a song while we were up in the air."

"About?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I haven't seen it yet, but when it's ready I'm sure she'll either show me or call Ronnie and tell him that she has a new song, and he can release it as her single."

"What are you guys doing tonight?"

"Well, we have to meet whoever is headlining Ally's tour and then I'm taking her out to Temple Bar."

"Do you have any idea who's headlining for her?"

"No, neither of us do. I should probably go check on her and see if she's ready soon though. I figured we'd take back a couple of shots before she has to meet with whoever it is."

"Oh, well that's fucking great." _Whoa! Talk about someone having edge to his voice._

"Austin? Are you alright?" **I ask my best friend genuinely concerned.**

"No, I'm not fucking alright Dez my girl and best friend are across the world right now. She's upset with me and there's a very real possibility that I'm not going to get her back."

_No fucking duh! I wonder why Austin!_

"Austin, you did this to yourself. I've tried helping, but there's only so much I can do. You have to figure out the rest on your own."

"I miss her already, Dez. I even listened to _Drive Myself Crazy_."

"By N*Sync? Her favorite Boy Band?"

"Yes, Trish was playing Ally's cd and it was on."

" Wow you've got it bad. Where's Trish now?"

"Talking on the phone with Jace, but I know that she got a text from Ally because she was all smiley and giddy and walked out of Ally's bedroom. I left Ally's earlier, but I just ended up driving back here and Trish is still here. I just want to be near her stuff even if she's not here."

"I keep looking at pictures of us. I even took the one that she left here."

"Which one?" _I'm actually curious to see which one he's referring to even though I have my own suspicions._

"Us performing _You Can Come to Me_. She left it here, so I took it home and I'm going to frame it. Trish also gave me Ally's most recent songbook."

"I see."

"Yeah, so I'm going to read it and figure out how the fuck I'm going to fix this fuck up. I love Ally, Dez. I really love her. She's my-" **He trails off.**

"Your what?"

"Forget it. I gotta go. Please take care of Ally for me."

"Sure thing."

**I hang up with Austin, go across to Ally's room and knock on the door. She comes to the door and opens it, she's touched up her makeup. Her cheeks I've noticed look naturally rosy and she has a light pink lipstick on. She looks really really good.**

"So, I just talked to Ronnie and said whoever we're meeting already knows what I look like because they've seen pictures of me."

"Okay."

"So, I guess that we'll just go down to the bar and whoever it is will approach me."

"Let me just take a picture of you on the balcony first. You look just incredible."

**Ally has her hair in soft waves and pinned up and out of her face. I snap the picture on my cellphone and then she grabs her camera sets a timer and then pulls me into a picture with her. I stand straight and she's standing kind of in front of me, I lean down and whisper into her ear,** "I really like your hair."** I feel her shiver as I place my hand on top of her arm. As I feel myself start to harden just from our close proximity I decide to get myself out of a potentially questionable predicament. I take her hand and pull her out of the hotel room and we take the elevator downstairs to the bar.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**We walk into the bar with Dez's hand on the small of my back, see that the paint is a neutral nude color and the decor has red lantern style sconces throughout the bar. The bar itself is a charcoal gray, the back of the bar the central focus is what looks like the root of the tree and at the top it shows the green to represent the leaves, but the top of it is like stainless glass. The backs of the bar stools are a green fabric. We pull ourselves up to the bar, see that it's relatively busy, not insanely packed but busy enough to keep the bartender running around. In the bar there are also high top table and low top tables as well.**

**The bar has a couple of bachelors, a few couples and this guy with light brown hair at the very end of the bar. I motion for Dez to take a seat as we anxiously wait for the mysterious person to approach us. We take out seats and I can see at the end of the bar this guy is humming something to himself, I'm not sure what, but I wonder if he's the guy that's headlining for me. I see him being approached and then chatting up a woman, he's extremely close to her face and whispering something in her ear. I avert my eyes the second he catches me staring at him.** _ Way to be subtle Ally. _**Out of the corner of my eye, I see that he's taken out his phone and then I see the brunette woman get up and walk out of the bar, but not before he slyly gives her his room key I'm guessing.**

**We're sitting at the bar for a few minutes before the brawny bartender comes up, says with his sexy Irish accent, "**What can I get for you lass?"

"I'd like a shot of Jameson."** I look at Dez, tell the bartender, **"Make that two."** He pours the shots and brings them over to us winking at me. I feel Dez's body start to stiffen besides me. I decided to brush it off though, I mean if he's not fine he'll tell me. Right?**

"Cheers to the amazing adventures we'll experience on tour!"

**I take my shot, and as I suspected the guy with light brown hair comes up behind me, **"You must be Ally Dawson."** This guy's voice just sounds incredibly hot and he's definitely got swag. I turn to face him, startled by his apparent lack of respect for personal space, **"And you are?"

"Logan. Logan Carter." **He flashes a panty dropping smile in my direction.**

**Ah, so he's the player and womanizer type of guy. I'm not falling for that crap again even though he's insanely hot.**

"Well Logan, you're invading my personal space right now. So back the fuck off."

**He walks from** behind** me so he's now in front of me. "**Relax Gorgeous, I'm headlining your international tour." **Once he's facing me I find myself hypnotized by his emerald green eyes, probably about twenty-five or so. Now that I have a better look at him, he's tall in stature about 6'2, with an athletic build and perfectly tanned skin. He's wearing a white t-shirt with a leather jacket, dark washed jeans and his hair short but medium length and long enough to run my hands through. He's sex on a stick. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to help me get over Austin based on what I saw before from his interaction with that redheaded woman.**

**I notice that Dez hasn't said anything, he has his arm around my chair protectively that way if Logan gets out of line with me he's ready to react. Logan smirks, says,** "You must be her bodyguard."

"Actually, I'm one of her best friends...Asshole." **His voice sounds rough and edgy.**

"Dez!"

"Right, I'm sure that's because Ally's boyfriend over here is Austin Moon."** Logan looks at Dez and smirks.**

_Say what!_

"Austin isn't my boyfriend."

"Really now? I think that these pictures prove otherwise." **Logan pulls out his phone, shows me the images from when Dez and I left Miami including the picture of Austin collapsed on his knees with his face and hands in his hair.**

"Again, dick. I'm not with Austin."

"Good, because you could do way better."

"Excuse me?!"

"Yeah, especially when you have me standing right in front of you."

**Dez interjects,** "And what do you think that you know about my best friend Austin? I can see right through your charm. If you think about coming anywhere close to Ally I swear to God I'll kick your ass."

"Cool it Red. Hey, why don't we go out and party tonight at Temple Bar in town?"

"What do you say?"

"I'll think about it." **Logan takes my phone, puts his phone number in it. He gets up, kisses my cheek leaving Dez and I both stunned and walks out of the bar and I can only assume that he went up to his room where the redhead is probably waiting for him.**

_Final thoughts? Whoa! It's quite possible that this guy is about to turn everything Upside Down._

* * *

**A/N: Reviews are appreciated! xoxo**** . I hope that you're ready Shit's about to get ****crazy in the next couple of chapters.**

**Thoughts? Dez? Ally? Logan?**

**Yayyyy Ally & Dez are in Ireland. Shit's about to get crazy in the next few chapters. Let the drama begin!**


	11. Letting Loose

**Here's the next chapter to hold you over while I finish writing and revising the next! XOXOXO**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**After taking a few more shots Dez and I take the elevator back upstairs to our rooms. He wanted to take me to Temple Bar and since I'm going to have to be stuck with Logan I might as well try to be nice to him. Dez goes to his room and tells me he's going to take a power nap before we go out. **

**Once I'm in my suite I grab my laptop and go to my music library in I-Tunes. It's time to let it out! **

_Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy (Hey, what up girl?)_

_Grab my glasses, I'm out the door; I'm gonna hit this city (Let's go)_

_Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack_

**I walk over to the mini bar in my suite and grab a bottle of Jack. I need to let loose and party like this girl and that's just what I am going to do.**

_'Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back_

_I'm talking pedicure on our toes, toes_

_Trying on all our clothes, clothes_

_Boys blowing up our phones, phones_

**Ha! Well isn't that the truth! One guy in particular has been blowing up my phone since I left him. **

_Drop-topping, playing our favorite CD's_

_Pulling up to the parties_

_Trying to get a little bit tipsy_

**I really need a friend, a chick that I can just party with and have a good time. Dez is great, but he's no Trish. So, maybe I'll just be a wing-woman for Dez tonight and gain a friend that way? It's worth a shot. Right?**

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

**I'm singing at the top of my lungs and dancing around and for once I finally feel free. I feel completely calm and content, if that's the right word I don't know, but the alcohol is helping me forget everything that's upsetting me.**

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

_Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer_

_Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here_

_And now the dudes are lining up 'cause they hear we got swagger_

**Well, so far there's that asshole Logan, but when Dez and I go out to the bar tonight oh It's on! Swag Master Ally is going to take them to swag town in her station swagon! Honk Honk! And I brush my shoulders off. **

_But we kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger_

**Hell no! I want only hot and I mean insanely hot guys!**

_I'm talking about everybody getting crunk, crunk_

_Boys tried to touch my junk, junk_

_Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk_

**I won't hesitate if that does happen and things get out of hand, that is if I'm not totally incapacitated.**

_Now, now, we goin' till they kick us out, out_

_Or the police shut us down, down_

_Police shut us down, down_

_Po-po shut us_

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

_DJ, you build me up_

_You break me down_

_My heart it pounds_

_Yeah, you got me_

_With my hands up_

_You got me now_

_You got that sound_

_Yeah, you got me_

_DJ, you build me up_

_You break me down_

_My heart it pounds_

_Yeah, you got me_

_With my hands up_

_Put your hands up_

_Put your hands up_

_**Now, the party don't start till I walk in**_

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

_Don't stop, make it pop_

_DJ, blow my speakers up_

_Tonight, I'm-a fight_

_Till we see the sunlight_

_Tick-tock on the clock_

_But the party don't stop, no_

* * *

**Oh, fucking A! Why is he calling me again?! God, you would think the first fifty times I didn't pick up he would stop!**

**After Austin called another two times.. I decided that I was going to chuck my phone across the room if I heard Colby Caillat's song **_Realize _**one more fucking time.**

_Take time to realize,This all can pass you by..._

_didn't I tell you._

_But I can't spell it out for you_

_No, it's never gonna be that simple_

_No, I can't spell it out for you_

**When he finally gives up calling. I decide to take the opportunity to change his ringtone.**

_Once upon a time I was falling in love. _

_Now I'm only falling apart. _

_There's nothing I can do total eclipse of the heart._

**I go into my bathroom and plug in my curling iron and wait for it to heat up. While I'm waiting I decide to start on my evening makeup which is significantly darker. I apply some bronzer and an extremely dark and very smokey eye, darken my eyelashes with mascara and a pop of color with a red lipstick.**

**I know that Dez said not to change my outfit, but that's exactly what I'm going to do. I go over to my suitcase and pull out a very short, deep royal blue v-line neck dress going down to my navel and a total of eight straps criss crossing over the back. Luckily for me there's already a bra sewn into each side of the dress, so all I need is double-sided tape and I'm good to go. Which I just so happen to have. My dress goes to about mid-thigh and is very form fitting. I curl my hair and it takes about twenty minutes and I sing to myself my song Really Don't Care. My mind mindlessly wanders and I find myself thinking about who I want to take over the rap portion of the song and a few artists come to mind: Nicki Minaj, Cher Lloyd, Mary J. Blige. Hmmm, I'll need to think about this some more before I decide. Once my hair is finished I spray it with hairspray and let my long brown locks flow down as I run my fingers through my hair to create a more sultry look. I flip my head down and then back over to give it more volume. I run over to my suitcase again and grab my red patent leather sling backs and put them on. Deciding that I look good enough. I snap a pic in the mirror posing with one arm behind my bed and my body slightly angled and post it to my instagram. Caption: Tonight's the Night, Let's Live It Up! ;-)**

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**I have just woken up from my nap when my phone starts going off. I look at the caller id, see that it's.. Austin.**

**Oh Jesus, what on earth is he hyperventilating about now? I love the kid to death, but really he's acting so needy. I get that he's upset, but as I've told him before this is all on him.**

"Hello."

"Dez. Are you in Ally's room right now?"

"No, I was actually taking a nap. Why do you sound like you are having heart palpitations?"

"Because I literally feel like my heart is beating out of my chest."

"Austin, man. Seriously, what the fuck is going on with you?" **I'm about as patient as they come and he's even starting to drive me bananas.**

"What's going on with me? What's going on with Ally?" **He says defensively and almost shouting into the phone. What's his deal?**

"Um? I'm not following...I think it's time that you catch me up."

"Ally." **He literally can't speak. **"She" **Literally tongue-tied, **"And-" **He pauses for a brief second. **"I better just send you the picture."

"Austin. I'm not-" **and then the picture comes through.**

"You can't let her go out looking like that!" **He's acting totally jealous. Ha! Go Ally! That's probably why she did it...to prove a point!**

"I'm not her fucking father Austin. She's twenty-three years old, I'm not going to tell her what she can and can't wear. What's your problem? That she looks fucking hot? You should've realized that when you had her."

"Dez." **He whines.**

"No, Austin. Are you obsessively calling her phone again?"

"She knows that I'm?" **I cut him off.**

"That doesn't matter." **I realize that I can't sugar coat this anymore. **

"You're driving her absolutely nuts." **I pause, try to think of a suggestion for him. **"Go for a run or something. Stop calling her at least for a little while."

"I can't Dez. I'm seriously losing it."

"Yeah, I can tell." **Making sure the sarcasm was very evident in my voice.**

"What was that?" **He sounds confused.**

"I said I CAN TELL! Listen man, I'm going to go over to Ally's room now. It's 10:00 pm here and we're five hours ahead of Miami. I'm taking her out to the bar. You don't have a say in what she does anymore. Or at least not right this second, so take a fucking chill pill before you drive her away completely forever."

"I love you, man, but you seriously need to chill. I'll talk to you later."

* * *

**I knock on Ally's hotel door and wait for her to come open it. She opens the door and** "Holy shit! You look smoking Al." **She looks even better in person than the picture that Austin just sent me.**

"Thank God, you're here. Can you make Austin stop blowing up my phone? I literally almost chucked it across the room. I changed his ringtone because his old one was pissing me off that much."

"He called me when you didn't answer.. Flipping out about what you're wearing." **She sighs, then responds,**

"Serves him right. I'm single and ready to mingle." **She winks at me, I know for sure that my assumptions as to why she posted that picture was correct.**

"No, I'm not going to make you change. You look really good and you're not too overly overdone...if that makes sense."

"I swear to God, Dez. So help me if he fucking calls again tonight."

"I know, I told him to cool it. I told him that he's being too aggressive more or less. I don't know if he'll listen, but hopefully he'll give you at least some time to relax and enjoy yourself tonight."

"So, I decided that I'm going to be your wing-woman tonight. How does that sound?"

"Al, you really don't have to."

"Oh, but I want to."

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I decide to send Logan a quick text before leaving. If he comes cool, and if not I'm definitely in the I don't give a fuck type of mood and I'll find something else to entertain myself.**

Hey Apollo. I'll be at Temple Bar tonight. Come find me. I'm pretty sure I won't be hard to miss though. ;-)

**Less than two minutes later...**

From Logan to Ally:

Well hello Aphrodite. Together?

From Ally to Logan:

Goddess of Love? Fuck no, No, let's see if you can spot me out in the bar.

From Logan to Ally

She's the Goddess of Beauty as well. Challenge accepted.

**I'm ready to let loose tonight and forget everything tonight. He kissed my cheek earlier leaving me stunned, well two can play that game. He'll wish he never did that.**

* * *

**A/N: Sorry it's kind of short, but it's setting up the next chapter. xoxo**


	12. U & Ur Hand

**VERY RATED M JUST SAYING IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT, THEN DON'T READ TIL IT'S SOMEONE ELSE'S POV! :D Gotta love smut! ;-)**

**Okay three chapters in less than two days I'm on a roll here. Woo! Thanks for the reviews.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**Ally, she's all I could think about. Okay, so maybe I am acting all out of sorts, but no one understands just how much I love her. Yes, I know actions speak louder than words, but honestly if Ally was willing to at least listen or give me a second chance then I would do everything I can to show her that I'm serious about her. **

**Now of course, I didn't realize just how much pain I would be in until the second she was on that jet and Dez refused to let me through. I know that he's my best friend, but I'm not stupid I can tell that he's attracted to and quite possibly has real feelings for her. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't slightly concerned about Dez and Ally actually getting together, and as selfish as it may be I'd rather her just start acting out instead of falling in love with my other best friend. I don't know if I could ever handle that. I mean my best friend since childhood and the only woman I've ever truly loved. Who would?**

**Dez is right though, maybe I should just stop calling for a little while. I don't know how much self restraint I actually have as I'm sure that will quickly dissolve as I read the comments on Ally's picture that was posted less than an hour ago with of 70,000 likes. Here are just some that I'll read out loud.**

**...**

_**Holy fuck! You look like the hottest little sex kitten if I ever did see one.**_

_**Are you dtf?**_

_**The things I would do to you now ;-)**_

_**Seriously, how is it that you're so beyond fucking beautiful that Austin couldn't see what was right in front of him?**_

_**A lways**_

_**U ngrateful**_

_**S poiled**_

_**T ime Wasting**_

_**I nsensitive**_

_**N arcissist**_

_Ouch!_

_**Bae! I hope that you find a smoking hot guy to help you forget about that idiot!**_

_**...**_

**Okay, I think I've read enough. **

**Most of the comments that I read under her picture were true and some I desperately wish that they weren't even remotely accurate. However; that's not the case.**

**She does look un-fucking-believable.**

**What I would give to have her in my bed right now. I look at the picture she posted on her instagram and instantly feel my cock harden. Before I know it I'm so hard that if I don't find release soon than I'll have a major case of blue balls. I don't want that!**

**Fucken great. Now I have to deal with this.**

**As I look at the pictures the deep V neckline of her satin dress leaves very little to the imagination as I can see the outlining and definition of Ally's obliques. I wish I was running my hands over the silky satin and all over her body. Her skin looks so soft and succulent. What I wouldn't do to have my mouth on her right now.**

**I pull my cock out of the waistline of my boxers already having rid myself of my shorts as well as my boxers and get a good grip on myself in hopes to relieve myself. I decide that the best way would be to position myself as if I was going to be laying on top of her. I have a good grip on my hand and mimic as if I was fucking her, but in all reality I'm thrusting in and out of the air, surprisingly the action alone tricks my member into thinking that I'm actually inside of her. As ridiculous as it sounds, I decide to make an "O" pretending that it is in fact her vagina to make this act seem to be more real. I begin thrusting in and out and eventually reach my own climax. God, I don't even remember the last time I was intimate with anyone. Ever since I screwed things up with Ally starting about six months ago. This is before she just up and left because of my own stupidity. She's the last partner I had and I don't see a point in being with anyone else like that. After massively hurting her the last time, and fucking her up emotionally because of my indiscretion with Piper I just couldn't hurt her again like that or even worse. I start to grip my cock even tighter desperately needing release. I start groaning and panting at the same time and I start to release visualizing that it was either inside her or on her perfectly toned abs. Once I've finished, I get up and walk to the bathroom to clean myself up and put my boxers back on. Talk about afternoon delight, thanking the heavens that it's the weekend now and I don't have to work on my album until a few days from now. I lie back in my bed, facing the ceiling and let sleep take over and let myself dream of her. Wondering what she's doing at the bar that Dez is supposed to take her to.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**Dez and I just got to Temple Bar, the atmosphere is pretty laid-back and relaxing which is what he promised me that the pub type of bar would be. I'm used to more club sort of atmospheres or family type of bars, but this works for me. It looks like an authentic Irish pub. The bar top is made of the chestnut color type of wood and the bar stools are similar to the ones over at The Westin, but the backs of the chairs are burnt orange in color. While looking around at the crowd in the bar I noticed that everyone's smiling and laughing and there must be Karaoke tonight because there's a guy stumbling over the words over Brian McKnight's Nobody Knows and he's butchering the song absolutely horribly. He doesn't even have that suave swag that you need in order to make the song sound good, and as a singer it irritates the shit out of me. I understand that Karaoke is for fun, but that intoxicated no freaking way.**

**Dez and I walk up to the bartender and I tell her that I want six shots of Jameson. I look at her, say, "**Listen. I know that I'm tiny, but I can handle my liquor."** She shrugs and Dez looks at me totally bewildered.**

"Ally, are you sure that's a good idea? Whiskey is as strong as you could possibly get...well except for Absinthe and I'm thanking my lucky stars that they don't have it here because that shit is serious."

**I cock my head towards him, **" I thought that you wanted me to let loose and have fun." **I say in a mocking tone.**

"I do, Al. But -"

"Pace myself? Yeah, that's not fucking happening after Austin calling me at least fifty times today already. Dez, I just want to forget about him for a few hours and let all of my cares evaporate into the air."

**I take one shot after the next, after the next, after the next, after the next and then before I know it all six of my shot glasses are empty. Before you freak out, they are just normal shot glasses and I'm pretty sure that I can drink anyone under the table. It's in my blood.**

"I WANT TO DO KARAOKE DEZ!"

"Alright, but I want you to drink some water first."** He hands me a glass of water, the effects of the straight whiskey start to take hold of me. The water looks like vodka. Whoa! I feel so free right now, like I'm walking on a cloud. I make a disgusted face towards the water, knock it over.**

"Ally!"** I feel my feet carry me over to the stage. I tell the DJ what song I want to perform and have to wait a few minutes before I can perform the song. I feel someone tap me on the shoulder I say, **"God Damn It Dez! I told you I don't want fucking water."

**I hear someone clear their throat and I'm greeted with those mesmerizing green eyes from the man who kissed my cheek earlier tonight.**

"Well, hello princess. It looks like I found you." **He smirks and then when he sees my stone facial expression it fades quickly.** " What's your fucking deal right now?"

**Oh now I'm fucking pissed!**

"My deal? How about my ex calling me fifty times obsessively tonight?"

"Been drinking because of Moon?"

**I nod my head in response, **"How much?"

"Just now? Six shots of Jameson."

"Oh, so you do know how to party? Did you know that you are more likely to drink even more than you normally would when upset about something?"

"Who do you think you are fucking Socrates? How many have you had Apollo?"

" I just got here, and as you can see I am taking it easy tonight. I don't need to get wasted out of my mind, but it sure looks like you do."

**I scoff, and hear that I'm next and to go up to the stage. I walk past him shoving him in the shoulder, onto the stage grabbing the mic and totally revved up thanks to Logan.**

**Without further ado, my FUCK OFF SONG!**

**U + Ur Hand - Pink**

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Check it out_

_Going out_

_On the late night_

_Looking tight_

_Feeling nice_

**I sing the verse and trace a line down my exposed abs.**

_It's a cock fight_

_I can tell_

_I just know_

_That it's going down_

_Tonight_

_At the door we don't wait cause we know them_

**_At the bar six shots just beginning_**

_That's when dick head put his hands on me_

_But you see_

**_I'm not here for your entertainment_**

**_You don't really want to mess with me tonight_**

**_Just stop and take a second_**

**_I was fine before you walked into my life_**

**_Cause you know it's over_**

**_Before it began_**

**_Keep your drink just give me the money_**

**_It's just you and your hand tonight_**

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

**_Midnight_**

**_I'm drunk_**

**_I don't give a fuck_**

**Ironically it was midnight already. We got to the bar around 11:00 p.m. and just sat at the bar drinking for an hour chatting and listening to other people attempt karaoke and fail miserably. I have this song memorized so there's no need for me to look at the prompter and follow along with the lyrics.**

_Wanna dance_

_By myself_

_Guess you're outta luck_

**_Don't touch_**

**I put my hand out to push the imaginary guy away as if there was one standing in front of me.**

**_Back up_**

**_I'm not the one_**

**_Buh bye_**

_Listen up it's just not happening_

_You can say what you want to your boyfriends_

**_Just let me have my fun tonight_**

**I strut over to the edge of the stage, step down and walk up to the bar and get on top and stand on it singing into the microphone. All eyes are on me, honestly it feels great and at the same time it feels so good to just let loose.**

_Aiight_

**_I'm not here for your entertainment_**

**_You don't really want to mess with me tonight_**

**I put my hands up into balled fists and pretend to swing into the air.**

**_Just stop and take a second_**

**_I was fine before you walked into my life_**

_Cause you know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

_It's just you and your hand tonight_

_Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh_

_Break break_

_Break it down_

_**In the corner with your boys you bet 'em five bucks**_

**_You'd get the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck_**

**Ha! That's exactly what I'm thinking. Who am I singing this about well? It could be one of two guys I guess at least this lyric. This is mainly towards the freaking moron that let me go in the first place.**

**_We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see_**

**_So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah_**

_You know who you are_

**_High fivin, talking shit, but you're going home alone arentcha?_**

_Cause I'm not here for your entertainment_

_No_

**_You don't really want to mess with me tonight_**

**_Just stop and take a second_**

**_Just stop and take a second_**

**_I was fine before you walked into my life_**

_Cause you know it's over_

_Know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

**_It's just you and your hand tonight_**

**_It's just you and your hand_**

_I'm not here for your entertainment_

_No no no_

_You don't really want to mess with me tonight_

_Just stop and take a second_

_Just take a second_

_I was fine before you walked into my life_

_Cause you know it's over_

_Before it began_

_Keep your drink just give me the money_

**_It's just you and your hand tonight_**

_Yeah oh_

**Applause erupts in the the bar and I bow. Standing on the bar and smirk, I feel guys at the bar start putting their hands all over me and I may or may not have kicked one of them in the face. I see another guy in the crowd pulling the other guy groping me away from the bar, shoves him into a chair and tells him to sit his ass down. I assume that it's Dez, but it's not. The next thing I know I'm being thrown over a guys shoulder who isn't my best freckled friend.**

"Well, that was quite a performance Princess." **He holds onto me tighter slightly higher than my knees.**

"Hey Casanova? Would you put me the fuck down?"

**He grabs me by the waist and sets me down on the ground not too far from the bar. Standing up straight and looking down towards me with those god damn mesmerizing eyes he has. Does he really need to look like Adam Levine without tattoos physically?**

"Stop being a fucking bitch."

"Why the fuck did you pick me up? I can handle myself."

"What..no thank you Logan you're my Superman?"

**He scoffs,** "If you could have handled yourself you would have punched that guy in the face. Let's face it A-l-l-y, you needed your ass saved back there."

"I didn't ask you to."

"You know for just for being a bitch..you owe me a shot and any shot of my choice."

**I look at him with skepticism**, "And what exactly did you have in mind?"

"Tequila and body shots." **I was taken by surprise, he walks me back over to the bar and sits me on top of it. He then tells the bartender what shot he wants, we're given a lime with salt. Logan instructs me to lay down on the bar, he wets my neck with his tongue sending shivers down my spine, takes the salt and puts in on my neck. He hands me the lime and puts it in my mouth.**

**My phone starts to ring. Logan can you hand me my clutch my phone's ringing. I miss the call, not that it matters it's Austin that I'm sure of. He looks and takes my phone and puts it in camera mode, says that he's going to take picture so I can remember this later on as in after what is likely to be the most intense hangover ever. Now mind you, he's only had a beer or two and this is his first shot being that he's probably about 180 pounds and pretty much all muscle. I'm sure that even in my drunken state he's sober.**

"Okay Princess, now try not to enjoy this too much." **He places the shot glass on my abs, the salt is already on my neck and the lime is in my mouth.**

"Me?" **I say coyly. He then licks my neck.**

"You mean you?" **Takes the shot, and then sucks on the lime wedge that's in my mouth. He smirks drops the lime and kisses me. It felt like my body was being "cleared" in a hospital and volts shocking me back to life.  
**

**I sit up on the bar, he pulls me down and off of it. Once my feet are planted on the ground. I give him a hard smack on the face.**

"What the fuck was that?" **I'm pretty much making a scene and causing the other drunk people to focus on Logan and I.**

**He grabs his now sore cheek, takes his hand and grabs the back of my hair, slightly tugging it but not hurting me. It's like he's getting ready to taunt me like I'm some fucking gazelle about to get eaten by a starving cheetah.** "Oh come on babygirl, I know that you liked it. If you weren't attracted to me you would have said something or suggested a different shot. You wanted to let loose and I just wanted to help you forget about that dickhead. Here's your phone."

**I look down and sees the 'picture' he took was actually a video and it was already sent to someone...**

Austin.

* * *

**A/N: What do you think will happen next? Where the hell is Dez anyways? Predictions? Review it up! **

**Now guys eventually Auslly. Not right now, but eventually OKAY? Okay. **

**Ally needs to find herself as an individual away from Austin, now if you're not crazy about this side of Ally. Sorry, but this is all very natural for girls/women to do when they go through heartbreak. Ally's hot and young so this shouldn't come as a surprise for you.**

**Did you guys get the double meaning of the title of this chapter? Let me know if you do! ;-) XOXO**


	13. Reality Sets In

**Dedicating this chapter to my friend 1baby1t who is also mind reader because she caught onto my subtle reference in the last chapter about something mentioned I won't say what. She won and I love the song in this chapter, so I conceded and the other one I was thinking about using will be used later on in this story. **

**Thanks for the reviews guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I open my eyes when I hear my phone go off. I'm lying in my bed thinking.**

_Is Ally actually at least texting me now?_

**I smile at the thought that maybe she's ready and willing to at least talk to me. I see that it's actually as video. I'm not sure why, but I have a feeling this is going to be bad. Really really bad. I open the video and my heart completely shatters. I feel like I can't breathe. I watch it though as it's very brief as I try to process the images right before me.**

**Ally's lying on a bar, in that insanely hot fucking dress. There's a guy putting salt on her neck, puts a shot in the middle of her stomach and hands her a lime and she puts it in her mouth. I can tell by the lime that it's going to be a tequila shot.**

**When this guy licks her neck, it looks like she's actually not disgusted and is totally into it. He kisses her stomach and then leans over with his hands behind him and takes the shot into his mouth, places it back on Ally's abs and then the worst part.**

**He starts sucking on the lime pulls it out and then drops it and he kisses her. That's the end of the video.**

**My stomach is churning, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I then get outrageously angry and yet I feel paralyzed even though I want to kill this guy that is all over My Ally.**

**I feel paralyzed and so I do the only thing I can think of and forward both Dez and Trish the video. I watch the video another four times before I process what just happened.**

**I get out of bed and punch the wall causing a massive hole in it, leaving myself with bruised and bloody knuckles.**

_GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! _

**I ****scream loud enough that my neighbor next doors bedroom light flickers in her window.**

**I don't even notice that my hands throbbing and that I've punched the wall so hard there's a huge possibility that I could have sprained or broken something. I walk over to my desk and start thrashing and pushing everything off of it. My phone and laptop are at the foot of my bed, so in the split second of all rational thought it takes half a second for the irrational thinking to come back. All these thoughts running rampant in my head in pure and utter fucking chaos. I picture that guy with his hands all over her and kissing her and... I don't even need to say what else because I flip the desk completely fucking over.**

**My phone starts ringing and I'm so fucking mad that I feel like the Incredible Hulk. I miss the calls the first three times and on the fourth time whoever is calling me.**

**I pick up when I see that it's Trish.**

"Austin?"

I don't say anything, but I'm sure that she can hear my heavy and not normal breathing.

"It probably isn't what it looks like." **I feel my chest tighten, checking for my heart beat because I'm not even sure it's beating anymore, this could all just be a nightmare and I'll wake up at any second and Ally will be in my arms. Only my arms, no one else's. But that's not reality, realistically I can tell you that I don't even need to check my blood pressure because I'm sure it's through the fucking roof right now. **

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME OF COURSE IT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?!"

"I'm sorry, but I'm the one that actually called you the second I got and watched the video." **She says with sarcasm in her voice,** " I called to make sure that you were okay, knowing full well that you wouldn't be, but I cared enough to call you at this ungodly fucking hour when my boyfriend is sleeping in our bed. You're lucky that I stepped outside the house to call you."

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!" **I scream into the receiver probably making Trish feel like she's going to go deaf.**

"Austin! Ally's single. She's single and it's obvious that she's not with you! She's been single, she was just stuck on you. She hoped that you would fucking man up and tell her that you wanted to be with her and that you didn't want her to be with another man, but did you do that? NO FUCKING WAY! YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT AN ASSHOLE!"

" I FUCKING LOVE HER, TRISH! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT WHAT I JUST WATCHED IS POTENTIALLY GOING TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG?!"

"ALRIGHT AUSTIN, YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE FUCKING HAD ENOUGH OF YOU! YOU DID THIS! YOU! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT FUCKED UP SO ROYALLY THAT THERE'S A HUGE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WILL NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER BE WITH ALLY AGAIN! YOU BROKE MY BEST FRIENDS HEART YOU SELFISH FUCKING NARCISSITIC PRICK! IF ANYTHING... YOU SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED THAT ALLY'S ACTING OUT, BECAUSE I HATE TO BREAK IT TO YOU, BUT THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING. YOU'RE FREAKING OUT ABOUT A GUY TAKING A BODY SHOT OFF OF HER? HE KISSED HER! NEWSFLASH AUSTIN: ALLY IS FUCKING HOT, SO GET USED TO OTHER GUYS WANTING HER. IT'S NOT LIKE YOU WERE SENT A FUCKING SEX TAPE, WHICH BY THE WAY ARE YOU FORGETTING WHAT YOU FUCKING DID WITH PIPER AND I STILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHE EVER FORGAVE YOU FOR THAT. YOU'VE FUCKED ALLY UP EMOTIONALLY! SHE'S GOING TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS AND WITH WHOEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS. IF YOU LIKED IT THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT A RING ON IT."

"Trish.."

"NO, YOU KNOW WHAT THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EVEN BIGGER REASON TO FIND YOU A FUCKING SONGWRITER SO I CAN GO HELP HEAL MY BEST FRIEND...THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ME. UNLIKE YOU."

**And then she hung up.**

* * *

**I decide to text Dez after the video was sent: **

**To Dez from Austin:**

_WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN THIS WAS HAPPENING?_

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

**Why is this happening?**

_Because you let it happen._

**Would you shut the fuck up?**

_No, because honestly even I hate you right now. What the hell has happened to you? How could you do that to her to begin with? When are you going to stop sitting on your ass and fucking do something?_

**This is so fucking insane. I thought my worst nightmare was Ally getting on that plane and never coming back to Miami, but that's only part of it. How could she just let a guy do that to her?**

_You don't have a say in what she does anymore. Do you even realize that she clearly as no interest in speaking to you whatsoever. You lost her, the girl that you love. Not only that, she was also lost your best friend. You lost the one you were supposed to be with forever and too stupid to realize just how lucky you were to have her. Ally's a catch and you destroyed her. I hope you're fucking happy._

**I decide to stop arguing with my conscience and look to see if Dez has text-ed me back yet. **

**Fuck Dez still hasn't responded. **

**I have no idea how to deal with all of this other than how I always do. I stumble down the staircase, go to my mahogany liquor cabinet and pull out the biggest bottle of Jack Daniels I could find. **

_She's not waiting around for you, Austin. She's not sitting in her hotel room crying. She's out and having the time of her life right now._

**I take the top off the bottle and don't even bother grabbing the proper glass for the whiskey. I don't give a fuck right now and I'm going to just drink this straight from the bottle. I take the first swig of whiskey and let the liquid feel good as it burns my throat awakening my subconscious even more. I keep drinking straight from the bottle not giving a fuck that it's an ungodly hour in the morning.**

God I'm such a disaster no wonder Ally left me.

**I grab my guitar and sit down with the bottle of Jack in one hand, my guitar strap slung around my shoulder, sit in my leather recliner. I look around my living room and everything reminds me of her especially the pictures on the end tables near my "52" plasma t.v and on the mantle as well.**

_Stay With Me: R5_

_Every morning after_

_I'm the same disaster_

_Every time it's Groundhog Day_

_**The time spent away from her feels like I'm stuck in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, even though Ferris got away with it all and got his girl, but instead he ends up being caught and his whole life is ruined instead of **__**getting away with it. Also, obviously Groundhog Day as well where everything keeps happening, you're living your own worst nightmare over and over again. Truthfully, I've been having nightmares and I just can't live with myself right now. I hate waking up in the morning, wishing that she was in bed next to me. I literally am a complete fucking disaster.**_

_Tell me, have you moved on?_

_Am I just a sad song_

_Playing every night and day?_

_**What am I doing? I cant do this anymore? I need to know, has she moved on? Is this over? Really over? Am I a sad mistake that I just keep playing and playing over and over again. Am I just some huge regret that she wishes she was never with me at all?**_

**I let the tears just fall freely down my face as I look down and see that I've already finished a quarter of the bottle, so the truth, my real feelings and thoughts are being heightened to a whole nother level that I can't even explain.**

_Say, can you read between the lines I'm singing?_

_Threw away the only chance I had with you_

_Maybe you'll always be the one I'm missing_

_**I hope she can understand what I am trying to say but I can't because I can only write how I feel. I threw away the only chance I had with her and I wish I could take everything back. I am missing her so much. It feels like I'm dying emotionally. It's the worst thing ever to be separated from her**__._

_All I got left are the words that you said_

_Stay with me_

_Tonight_

_I want you to_

_Stay with me_

_Tonight_

_**I remember Ally asking me to stay with her and be with her. She was having a bad night she had just told me that her pet bird Owen died. I started walking to the door when she came over and put her hands around me and asked in her sweet voice, **__"Stay with me tonight. I want you to. Show me that you really love me." __**I couldn't turn her down. **_

_Got me on a bender_

_I'm the great pretender _

_Putting on a masquerade_

_But when the party's over_

_Alone and getting sober_

_Yeah, you got me wide awake_

_**I can't sleep, I am not myself. I am drinking myself away and pretending during the daytime to everyone else that I am okay. When in all actuality, I am acting like I'm myself when I don't even know who I am anymore. I don't know who I am without Ally, that's just sad. The saddest part is that I wouldn't have to feel so lost and not myself had I made the biggest fucking mistake of my life.**_

_She said_

_Don't walk away_

_Leave what we could be behind_

_Don't leave me standing here_

_Don't say "not this time"_

_**Another instance was when Ally was with Gavin, I had just started dating Piper. I thought I was okay with her being with Gavin and me at the same time, and that eventually we would end up together, but it got to be too much to handle and I said, "No, not this time." I screwed up in the worst way imaginable and left her standing all alone. I did this.**_

_So_

_Stay with me_

_Tonight_

_Oh, oh_

_**It's kind of ironic, that I put the words that she said to me in this song and while she was the one that originally saying to "stay with me." I'm now the one writing the song drunk off my ass as a sort of answer and response to her requests and my acting careless with her heart. I would love to do everything over and go back to the start.**_

_Can we go back, do it over?_

_Can we go back to the start?_

**_By the time I finish writing the song, I've polished off half a bottle of Jack. I get up out of the recliner and walk straight to my mantle with pictures of Ally and I in the living room. I pick up the one of us where I just threw Ally over my shoulder and we're laughing hysterically. She told me to put her down and I refused, until she told me that she wouldn't kiss me the rest of the day. I remember that I called her bluff, told her that she couldn't resist me. When I did put her down I stole a kiss from her. _**

_God Ally, I miss you so fucking much._

_How on earth am I going to fix this? I need to make her mine again and if by some miracle and whenever, if it ever happens I'm never letting her go again. _

_**I grab another picture of the two of us and walk back to the recliner already in a drunken stupor and wishing to feel nothing I continue to drink the rest of the bottle.**_

* * *

**A/N: And this is only the beginning of the shit show that's about to start. Hope you enjoyed it, things have to get worse before they ever get better. Looks like Austin's getting a taste of his own medicine perhaps?**

**Do you still feel bad for Austin?**

**Or do you think that right now he's getting exactly what he deserves?**

**Reviews appreciated. xoxo**


	14. Intense

You guys rock! Thanks for the reviews. xoxo

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. The song below makes me really really happy, I get so excited when I hear it. I don't own the lyrics or anything else suggest in regards to the song.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

Moments Earlier

**He grabs his now sore cheek, takes his hand and grabs the back of my hair, slightly tugging it but not hurting me. It's like he's getting ready to taunt me like I'm some fucking gazelle about to get eaten by a starving cheetah.**

"Oh come on babygirl, I know that you liked it. If you weren't attracted to me you would have said something or suggested a different shot. You wanted to let loose and I just wanted to help you forget about that dickhead. Here's your phone."

**I'm livid. Logan sending Austin that video is going to be like the end of the fucking world to him. I can picture him going absolutely insane and getting crazy enough to punch a wall. Not to mention, he's probably going to keep calling obsessively until I pick up the phone, quite possibly flipping out on me. I'm drunk I don't need this shit. I don't want to fucking deal with any of this.**

**I shove Logan in the shoulder and storm passed him clicking my heels hard on the wooden floor of the bar to shove him and everyone else that I'm pissed and to get the fuck out of my way.**

**I hear him call after me,** "Princess, wait!"

**I turn to look, see that Dez is talking to him, and I can only assume that Dez is going to follow me. Honestly, why would Logan come after me at all? He's not my friend, we barely know each other and we obviously can't stand each other? Okay okay, I'm the one that isn't fond of him.**

**I walk outside the bar and hail a taxi over to pick me up and take me back to the hotel. I close the door, start talking to the driver, when the back passenger door is opened and it's not Dez.**

**It's Logan.**

**If I wasn't so fucked up right now I swear I'd push him out of the taxi, but I don't have the strength to deal with my brain at the moment. He gets into the cab, sits on one side, while I sit on the other, he keeps reaching for my hand which I slap his away repeatedly, and he's the sober one? This is fucking ridiculous.**

**It's a short ride over to The Westin, when the cab comes to a complete stop. I take hold of my clutch and storm out of it. I'm sure dickhead will pay the cab driver, so it's not an issue. I'm already through the glass doors and can hear the driver with the Irish accent say **_thank you_** and **_have a good night_**. Along with something like, **"Your lass is mad at you, I would resolve that as quickly as possible?" **I'm not really sure since I'm walking away from the cab. I walk straight passed the lobby and right to the elevator. I'm in the elevator, the door is closing and I mean literally closing, then a flash of light brown hair turns sideways and gets through by the skim of his teeth.**

* * *

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Come on Princess, talk to me." **He says in a soft tone, kind of like a scared little puppy.**

"TALK TO YOU! WHAT'S THERE TO TALK ABOUT LOGAN? HONESTLY, HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO NOT CALL ME THAT!"

"Just let me explain."** He pleads looking me right in the eyes.**

**I'm beyond annoyed with him at this point,** "Oh, you think you can manage to not act like a womanizer? You have until we get to my floor to explain.. better start now Casnova."

**We're in the elevator, his eyes darken, his mood darkens, he pins my arms up above my head and my back hits the wall of the elevator.**

"STOP ACTING LIKE A FUCKING BITCH!"

**I'm stunned. Literally stunned. He continues,** "ESPECIALLY SINCE I'M NOT THE ONE THAT YOU'RE REALLY MAD AT! I'M NOT AFRAID TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE!"

"Logan, I'm -No, you know what? YOU'RE UN-FUCKING-REAL. LET GO OF ME!" **He lets go showing that he wasn't trying to hurt me.**

"You're mad at Austin and you're taking it out on me! I'm not Austin! You want to treat him like that fine, but I've been trying to show you that I'm a decent guy and you're acting like a spoiled brat."

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY HIS FUCKING NAME EVER AGAIN! YOU DON'T KNOW HIM."

"I know that he hurt you. It's written all over your face. The song you performed for karaoke at the bar. That's someone that's tired of being used and abused by men."

"I FUCKING LOVED HIM, OKAY! Maybe I still do, I don't know. All I know is that I don't want to care, and I really don't fucking care what happens to him. It's not like these feelings go away overnight. He broke me."

* * *

**We reach my floor and I start to cry, he throws me over his shoulder, walks me to my room. I hand him the key and he brings me inside. He puts me down and I just fall to the floor sobbing even louder, he pulls me into a hug to comfort me.**

"Why do you care? You don't even know me." **I ask him seriously curious as I cry into his shoulder. I can't help but think of **_You Can Come to Me_**, begin to cry even harder.**

"I've done my research. I know all about what happened with Piper and what you went through. That chick was a whack-job. It was in the news and gossip magazines as well."

"W-what?" **Again, I'm stunned.**

**He pulls away and pushes my messy hair out of my face.** "Listen I hope I didn't hurt you earlier, you just needed someone to be firm with you. You can't go around screaming at strangers like you do with me. Someone might actually hurt you, I don't want that to happen."

**I let my head hang and sigh, Logan speaks up again breaking the brief silence between us.** "He doesn't deserve you. It just seems like he doesn't appreciate you. I mean I know all about your squeaky clean reputation and that you go out of your way to help others. "

**I ignore the first half of what he says because really even I don't know if Austin every truly appreciated me. I sometimes wonder if everything that I did and everything that he said was just all in my head,** "That's not who I am anymore." **I countered.**

**He decides to challenge me,** "Oh yeah, then prove -" **I don't let him finish. I look at him, he's standing at the edge of my bed right now and I hesitate for a second and pull him onto the bed and he falls on top of me. He doesn't hesitate for a second and his lips are on mine, without even thinking I'm kissing him back with just as much force. His hands are caressing my cheeks and I feel hotter with every second that goes by. It feels like my body is being electrified and like I'm being brought back to life somehow. I feel his member start to harden through his jeans. This is crazy I haven't felt anything like this since.. ****Austin.**

**Logan stops, it's like he could sense my hesitation.**

"I mean I want you, but I want it to be right. You deserve right."

**I give him a genuine smile with my eyes,** "You know? You're kind of like the right kind of wrong."

**He laughs at me knowing I'm referencing a song from a movie and I shove his shoulder playfully. I decide to grab my I-pod off the nightstand and put it on shuffle hoping that the music will break the sexual tension between us right now. Let's see if he can deal with the type of music I listen to and humor me if he actually hates it.**

"Oh my God! I love this song!"

**He just looks at me and smiles as the song starts to play. **_Does he know this song? This dance number?_

_..._

Time of My Life: Dirty Dancing

**He pulls me over towards him and we begin to mimic the dance in the movie Dirty Dancing. So, he comes behind me and I put my arm up and behind his head as his hands slowly graze down my sides. I tried not to laugh, but I can't help that I'm ticklish. He starts singing first.**

**Logan**

_Now I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt like this before_

_Yes I swear_

_It's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**Ally**

_'Cause I've had the time of my life_

_And I owe it all to you_

**He starts spinning me around and dancing while we continue take turns singing our lines.**

**Logan**

_I've been waiting for so long_

_Now I've finally found someone to stand by me_

**Ally**

_We saw the writing on the wall_

_As we felt this magical fantasy_

**Both**

_Now with passion in our eyes_

_There's no way we could disguise it secretly_

_So we take each other's hand_

_'Cause we seem to understand the urgency_

**Logan**

_Just remember_

**Ally**

_You're the one thing_

**Logan**

_I can't get enough of_

**Well, I guess it's the truth because we are having a difficult time keeping our hands off of each other. He winks at me, I swear I feel the ice in my heart wanting to melt. Ugh, his voice is just unbelievably sexy. I haven't heard him sing until now remember.**

**Ally**

_So I'll tell you something_

**Both**

_This could be love because_

**We both hesitated and looked away and sang the verse. I spin out and I spin back towards him, we stare into each other's eyes intensely my heart starts beating so fast that I can't even describe how it's pulsing, and I can see him start breathing heavily like Johnny does in the movie.**

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt this way before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**Logan**

_Hey baby_

**He slides on the ground and does the moves that Patrick Swayze does and I must admit that I'm really impressed. I'm sure that I'm messing up dance moves because my coordination is not the best at the moment. Still heavily intoxicated, but feeling like this dance is sobering me up a bit.**

**Ally**

_With my body and soul_

_I want you more than you'll ever know_

**Logan**

_So we'll just let it go_

_Don't be afraid to lose control_

**Ally**

_Yes I know what's on your mind when you say_

_"Stay with me tonight"_

_Just remember_

**Logan**

_You're the one thing_

**Ally**

_I can't get enough of_

**Logan**

_So I'll tell you something_

_This could be love because_

**I don't know how on earth we're going to pull this off, but Logan has his arms open showing me that he wants to attempt the iconic lift. I hesitated, but decided what the hell..why not? And we actually do it, I hold the pose for about a second before I fall on top of him on my bed. I'm straddling him and he picks me up by my waist like I'm a feather. He pulls me up with him, we continue to dance and sing until the song finishes.**

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt this way before_

**His light brown hair and those amazing green eyes of his. I decide to just lose myself in the rest of the song and enjoy myself and just being here with someone, who at the moment is not making me cry my eyes out.**

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

_'Cause I've had the time of my life_

_And I've searched through every open door_

_'Til I found the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**Logan**

_Now I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt this way before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**Both**

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt this way before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

_I've had the time of my life_

_No I never felt this way before_

_Yes I swear it's the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**Ally**

_'Cause I've had the time of my life_

**Logan**

_And I've searched through every open door_

_'Til I found the truth_

_And I owe it all to you_

**The song ends, whatever song is next on the I-pod shuffle starts, but I ignore it because I'm just trying to be right here and in the moment with Logan. He takes my hands and interlocks them and strangely it feels kind of right. I think?**

**He takes my hand and walks me over and out to my balcony. The sun is starting to rise and we stand next to each other, he then maneuvers so he's behind me just wrapping his arms around me. It feels..nice and even calming**

"I'm really attracted to you, Ally. Listen, I know that you're heartbroken but I can't help but feel like there's an electric current pulling us together. I have never acted with anyone else the way I have with you." **He hesitates and pushes on,** "I mean it, I'm not usually this upfront and honest with women. I just, I don't know I can't explain this."

**He takes a deep breath and turns me to face him and to look up at him since I'm no longer in heels,** "Let me kiss you. I mean really kiss you. Not like when we were fighting before."

**I look at him and I can see that he's searching my eyes for answers, answers that I can't give him because I'm just such a emotional wreck and there are just no words. Honestly, I want him to kiss me, really kiss me how he wants to, but I'm terrified. All of the sudden he lifts me up, holding me by the butt so I'm higher than his head, but when I lean down our foreheads touch. I look down and he's looking up at me and licking his lips like he's fighting to control himself. I don't even respond, before I know it his lips are moving against mine and for the first time since the heartbreak I feel something. I actually feel something other than anger and sadness, and I'm not even thinking about kissing Austin. Not even wishing it was him or even missing him. I'm just here with Logan. Who is surprisingly sweet? When he wants to be, that is. I better say something. I pull away from our emotion filled kiss and almost completely out of breath. I realize that I haven't really responded verbally to what he said.**

"I'm attracted to you too, it's just I don't want anything serious."

**He caresses my cheek, showing me that he's serious,** "I'm not worried or afraid of being anyone's rebound. I don't normally do relationships, or haven't for a while because I got burned really bad, but forget that for now. Why don't we keep this casual and keep doing our own things but be together? So, we'd be seeing each other, dating but not exclusive, if that makes sense."

"I don't know, Logan. I think I like you, but it's just all too soon. I appreciate that you care, but I mean look at you. You're a womanizer, it's just something about your aura." **I pause but continue to be candid and I suppose cynical as well,** "If there's anything that I've learned from Austin it's that people don't change."

**He interlocks our fingers and it feels good that his are interlaced with me, he says, "**Let me show you how you deserve to be treated. I can do better than Austin."

"Okay well since we're not exclusive, you can't get jealous. I mean you're a guy so you probably will, but don't like try to chase guys away from me. That's what Dez is likely to do since he's so protective."

"Yeah about him." **He starts, **"Is there something there with you two?" **He asks, it looks like he's hoping that there's not something between Dez and I.**

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm comfortable with him, he's one of my best friends and we're really close, but he's Austin's best friend too, and it's just all so complicated. But that's neither here, nor there. I'll tell you the same thing that I told him..I am in no way, shape, or form able to be in any sort of serious relationship with anyone right now. I'm really hurting, after putting Austin first for so long. I'm going to come first."

"I understand. Well, I should probably get going, and head over to my room now." **He starts to leave the balcony, I follow after him. I grab his hand when we're right in front of my bed. **

"Can you just stay with me? I really don't want to be alone tonight. We can just talk and I don't know fall asleep when we're tired?"

"Alright, Princess. I'll stay with you."

"You know, it seems that you mean Princess in an endearing way so I think I could warm up to it."

"Now that's what I like to hear." **He gives me a quick peck on the lips and I decide to pull him up the spiral staircase and show him the library part of it, we just sit on the love seat and start talking.**

* * *

A/N: Sorry if you guys hate me, but baby-girl needs someone that is at least going to be nice to her and make her happy outside of her 'best friends'. Logan is doing just that, at the moment.

Thoughts?

I know that Austin is flipping a shit, but don't worry he'll come up with some sort of plan. He needs to internalize to come up with a solution. Do you think he's going to continue to call Ally or will Ally cave and call him back?

As for Dez? Who knows how he's feeling. Well, I do, but I'll bet it's nowhere near as bad as how Austin feels right now. Do you guys think that Dez will call Austin back as soon as he can? Or does Dez like Trish also need a much needed break from Austin?


	15. Lovesick

**Sorry that it's been a few days guys, honestly I wrote the surface of this chapter on Friday and I've been lacking motivation to edit and revise like mad until two of my lovely darling friends asked and requested that I do so. :)**

**Wowww 4,000 views holy cow! Thanks guys! xoxo**

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**When I wake up this morning I have a pounding headache, I look over at the end table next to my recliner and see that I have polished off a half of bottle of Jack Daniels. I can barely move, but manage to get myself to the kitchen and pop a few Advil in hopes to make my headache go away. It was no use the pounding in my head just got increasingly worse. I went to get up and my body basically said fuck you to me as I fell back into the chair, but I pushed myself up with determination and succeeded. I walk into the kitchen, I'm startled when I see my mother making breakfast.**

"Mom, what are you doing here? How did you?"

"I found your spare key, let myself in." **Mimi says matter-of-factly. Her tone, shit this can't be good.**

"Trish came over last night, she told me what is going on with you and that she's really tired of your crap."

"She was in tears Austin, you're just so unappreciative. It's no w-" **She stops herself and then her smile falls and goes to a thin line.**

"Austin, you wreak of alcohol!"** She scolds loudly and I wince because the screaming worsens the horrible hangover I have at this moment.**

**She glances into the living room which has somewhat of an open-concept floor plan.** "A half a bottle of Jack? Really Austin?" **She starts scolding me.** "Go take a shower. NOW!"** Her voice booms and her eyes blazing with anger. The last time I saw her this mad was when I had snuck out to perform at that charity for Ally and talk backed to her and my father,** _"Wasn't making my middle name Monica punishment enough?"_

**I decide that it's not worth the argument and trek up the stairs and into my bedroom. I begrudgingly walk through the bathroom, and lethargically move my body towards the shower. Ugh, she's right, the alcohol is seeping through my skin. I feel like shit right now.**

_Yeah, you look like shit too!_

Ugh.

_What the fuck is wrong with you? I get it, you're heartbroken but look at us. I'm even having trouble forming coherent sentences to just talk to you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's time that you look at everything and start internalizing that your actions have consequences._

**Well, I don't know what to do.**

_For starters, get in the shower like your mom asked and talk to her about everything. Maybe she can help?_

**I start peeling off my clothes and look in the mirror. I want so badly to see myself, but all I can see are memories of Ally and I.**

* * *

Flashback

**Ally and I had just gotten back from a water park and we were in desperate need of a shower smelling like chlorine. We walk upstairs to my bedroom, she walks over to the bathroom and said that she would be out in about ten minutes. I had other plans though.**

**I walk into the bathroom as she is taking off her cover up, stand behind her in the massive mirror the one that I'm looking in now. Her hair is up in a messy bun still, but she's going to take it down to get in the shower. I take undo the strings to the back of her bikini top and run my hands all over her taught stomach. She smirks in the mirror and unties the strings of her bottom. Pulling them completely off, she turns around and starts to take my clothes off.**

_" I can't believe that we jumped off a massive cliff and into the water." **She says to me.**_

_"I know, because you're not the craziest about heights." **I look and Ally looks pensive for just a moment.**_

_"But I held your hand, knew that when we hit the water everything would be fine because I trust in you, and in us." **What happened to that?**  
_

_**Betrayal happened. I betrayed her. I shake the negative thoughts from my conscience away for the moment.**_

_"Remember when we were still in high school and I made up that elaborate story in Cheetah Beat?" **She says almost giggly.**_

_"We ended up bungee jumping. That's definitely one of the craziest things we've done."_

_"I'd do anything for you, you know. You're my heart." **I had said, "You're my heart." We were so young, yet I met every word that I had said. What I would do to go back and fix everything.**_

_"Aw Austy, I feel that way too." **She kisses my cheek, we then undress each other and walk through the glass doors of my standing shower. I turned on the shower scalding hot, because that's the way that I know she likes it and yet she turns the faucet to a less scalding temperature and a better compromise for us both. She did compromise quite a bit when it came to me.**_

_**I let the water run down over us and just watched the water from the shower head bead her skin with droplets of water. I had thought to myself, she's so perfect and she's mine. I turn her around and I'm sure that she could feel my erection as I turned her to face me. I lean down putting my forehead against hers and we open out eyes staring intently at each other, **"I need you, baby."_

_**She smirks up at me through her gorgeous long lashes and said, **"What are you waiting for then Moon? I've always only been yours."_

End Flashback

* * *

**I let the tears just flow down just like the water hitting my back. It's extremely hot, but a cold shower isn't going to comfort me at all right now. I stand there with my head down and just end up thinking about anything and everything under the sun, or I try to and fail miserably as all my thoughts are consumed by Ally. My mind has been taken captive ever since she left me. I soap up my abs, and wash my hair and the rest of my body and get out of the shower. I throw on a pair of boxers, shorts and my football jersey that says 'Moon' on the back of it. I put the jersey on and remember the awful fight that Ally and I had because while we were filming the Rockumentary Dez let it slip that I had met with another songwriter and didn't tell Ally about it. Then, flash forward to the part where Dez and Trish have us performed** _You Can Come to Me _**as a way to get Ally and I to make-up. ****The lyrics hitting me like a ton of bricks.**

_Out in the cold  
But no where to go  
Feeling like no one could understand  
Then somebody gets you_

**_When no one else could understand what or how I was feeling..Ally was the only one that could._**

**So, we had just kissed and I decided to be the first to say something.**

_"A-A-Ally I'm so sorry I met wit_h another songwriter. I knew your career was taking off and I'd thought you'd leave me."

**But she did leave me.**

_And it's your fault. How were you so stupid to let history repeat itself? Seeing her heartbroken that you had met with another songwriter, here you go when some bimbo bats her eyelashes at you and you replace Ally? Again? With a girl who isn't even a songwriter! I don't even feel bad for you. Do you think that you can manage to think before you open your fucking mouth for once?_

**She looked up at me with her beautiful brown eyes**, _"Aww Austin, I'll always be here for you. I'm sorry I ever doubted our partnership. It's the best thing that ever happened to me."_

_**Always? Forever & Always and I feel my heart break even more if that's possible. Great, now I miss her even fucking more.**_

* * *

**Once I'm dressed I decide to head downstairs, to find my Mom coming out of the kitchen and walking into the dining room to bring me breakfast.**

"You made pancakes?"

"Would you like something else?" **My mother inquires confused because I am obsessed with pancakes.**

"Pickles."

"Oh honey. You really do miss Ally."

**I take the plate stacked full with pancakes gratefully, and even though my stomach is growling I find myself without an appetite. Knowing full well that my mom will flip if I don't at least attempt to eat. I begin to slice through the pancakes and take small bites to make it seem like I'm hungry when in all actuality I'm far from it.**

"Yes, Mom. I feel like I've alienated all of my friends. I've been driving Ally, Dez and Trish nuts. Trish can't even stand to be in the same room with me. When I've called Dez I can tell that he's annoyed with me, he has feelings for her. I think that he might even love Ally, my Ally. And then...well there's this video that was sent to me from Ally's phone. I just lost it, Mom. I've screwed up so bad. I don't know what to do."

**I'm not really sure how she's going to respond as I can see her looking at me with anguish in her face,** "Okay, let's start with Trish. She woke up just to call you, you were screaming at her? That's not okay. As for Dez, so what if he has feelings for Ally. Are you really that surprised? He was the one that was always _Team Ally_, he advised you to choose Ally over Kira and you didn't. When her friend... what's his name?"

**As if reading her mind I reply with edge in my voice,** "Elliott. Right Elliott came to visit Dez told you that you were practically in love with her as you were doing things only a guy in love would do. But did you listen to your best friend?"

"No, I just came out with the realization. _"I like Ally." _**I pause somewhat irritated, and unsure of what else to say,** "I don't know Mom, at that point I had never been in love before. Did you really think that I expected my first love to be Ally Dawson?"

"Why not? Because she wasn't as crazy as Brooke, pushy as Kira, or oh wait...as perfect as Cassidy?" **She sounds defensive and protective towards Ally's feelings when she says this.**

"Mom."

"No Austin. I'm not going to coddle you. Time after time... all you have done is try to replace Ally with someone else. Don't even get me started with the fiasco surrounding Piper." **She puts her hands on her hips displaying disapproval and annoyance,** "Really Austin, your father and I couldn't believe that you did that to Ally." **She sighs,** "We just don't understand why you are too blind to see that Ally's sacrificed so much for you and for so long that it's time for her to move on with her own life."

_Like the lyrics to that Papa Roach song Ally put in her letter to you._

"When you were younger and told your father and I that you met with another songwriter, we warned you that Ally was going to be hurt and that you would be putting everything on the line if she ever found out. Why on earth would you do that to her a second time? How is she supposed to ever believe or trust you now? We love you Austin, but while we love you unconditionally...we've come to love Ally as our own daughter. We thought that-"

**My mother starts to cry,** " I wish that you were smart enough to realize that she was the best thing that's ever happened to you, but I'm afraid that it's too late. She is the reason that you became an overnight internet pop sensation. While you are talented, Ally's the songwriter or she was... I just don't know if you will ever find anyone as special and as gifted as she is. You threw eight years of friendship and love away."

"Mom, I-" **She puts up her hand to signal that she's not finished.** "I hope that for your sake that you are able to make amends with Ally. Honestly, this betrayal..she may never get over. You'll be lucky if she even considers being your friend again, if you're smart enough to move heaven and earth you'll make an honest woman out of her and never let her go."

"As for Dez, he's been your best friend since childhood. If he somehow ends up with Ally, you should be happy for him as he's able to give Ally everything that you couldn't. Ally deserves real commitment, you can't, or won't or perhaps you refuse to give that to her? I don't think that Dez would end up with her, but you never know because I've noticed that he and Ally have gotten really close over the years and that he's the one she took on tour with her. Finally, for Trish again. She called me really upset. You owe her a massive apology. Her best friend, Ally, is across the country and she misses her terribly and I can hear that in her voice alone..."

"Mom..there's one more thing." **I open the text with the video of Ally and asshole, we'll call him that since I don't know his name as of yet, but I'm sure the information will become known in the near future,** "I want you to watch this video." **I push it towards my mother who's sitting across from me at my kitchen table.**

**She shakes her head,** "What's me watching that video going to prove? Honestly, Austin if somehow Ally ends up in a downward spiral because of you, then I haven't raised you or taught you anything. I wish you valued other people's feelings, but I feel like apart of you died when Ally left. My views of Ally aren't going to change, so whatever is in this video. It's not who Ally really is."

"But mom, she's kissing another guy." **I plead with her. trying to get her to listen.**

"You will not poison my views of that beautiful, bright and talented young woman." **She says exasperated,** "Austin, you're not her boyfriend. You haven't been for a very long time. You have issues with commitment, that much is evident. So, if Ally is kissing another guy at least she had enough respect for you, to not be your girlfriend and in a relationship while this happened. You better hope that you haven't destroyed Ally beyond repair, so much so that she completely loses her identity and what makes her special."

"But."

"I don't want to hear any more of this. You have alienated your best friends, so I think you should just give everyone space. Your father and I are here for you, but we are at a loss as to how to help you with this. This is something that you are going to need to figure out on your own."

My mother stands abruptly and takes her coffee cup to the sink, rinses out the water, she turns and I see tears continue to roll down her cheeks, "I'm sorry that I don't know how else to help you. If you're as smart as I think you are you will heed my advice. Don't do anything stupid, because so help me Austin...It won't be me here the next time "that" motioning to the bottle of Jack occurs. Your father will set you straight. I need to go over to the store, sell mattresses with your father now. I love you, sweetie. Please just take time to reflect and internalize everything that has happened."

**I walk her to my front door,** "Mom, I'm going to make everything right. I'll figure out something and get Ally back." **She gives me a hug and rubs my back.**

"I hope you do, Austin. I don't think there will ever be anyone else like her let alone another who will be right for you."

* * *

**I close the door and think about everything that my mother has just said to me in the last hour. I don't know how I'm supposed to just leave all of my friends alone. For a little while? How long does that mean?**

**I walk over to my phone and scroll through the gallery in my phone. I come across a picture of me standing behind Ally and holding her and she's turned towards me and we're looking at each other nose to nose and I decide to make it my home screen. I keep scrolling through more pictures of us, find another where I'm picking her up and she has her legs wrapped around my torso. She's smiling her radiant infectious smile as I'm nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck and smiling. Ah, I'll make this my lock screen. You might be wondering what the images were prior to my changing them, well Ally was my home screen and the lock screen was a Miami Heat jersey.**

**I walk up to my bedroom and grab Ally's songbook off of my nightstand. I wonder how Ally would feel if she knew that I was about to read her songbook, **_Don't Touch My Book!_ **those words are now resonating in my ears. Maybe her songbook will help me get her back? Well, here goes nothing. I open her songbook to an entry that honestly hurts. It was the night Ally and I had shared our first kiss.**

Dear Songbook:

I conquered my stage fright! I really did it and all because of Austin! Speaking of Austin, we had our first kiss tonight. I honestly don't even know how it happened, it felt so right well at least I thought..until Kira had shown up announcing that Yes, she would love to be Austin's girlfriend. I was in so much shock, honestly hurt? No more like crushed.

**I find another entry and this is while I've been on tour. **

Dear Songbook:

Austin's been on tour for what feels like longer than 94 days realistically I know that it's not the case, but I just can't help but shake the feeling that he's going to meet someone else while I'm not around. I miss him so much, so much so that I've been hallucinating. In the card that he wrote to me, yes he actually wrote to me, I know it's hard to believe.. before he went on tour was a heart filled admission of some sort and plane tickets so I could meet up with them anywhere on tour. When my hallucinations got too much for my dad he suggested that I go see Austin, Trish and Dez. My own dad could see that I was missing him so much, I'm pretty sure Frank the UPS delivery guy was getting tired of me spinning him around. Everywhere I look I just see Austin's face. In the pizza delivery boy, in a grandma even. I'm pretty lovesick I guess that you could say.

**I notice that the ink is splotchy around here so I can infer that she was either crying or she spilled some bottled water on it accidentally. I continue to read this entry.**

As I look back on the day that Austin left it looked like he had wanted to say I love you, but he never did. I was pleading with him with my eyes in hopes that he could see what I wanted and needed to hear. Much to my disappointment, I guess that he never felt that way.

**I did want to say that to her and I almost did, but I was just so stupid and ugh! I want to smack myself upside the head for Trish on my own now.**

**These entries are killing me to read, but I keep on reading...**

Dear Songbook:

Today I held an auction to Save the Manatees. It turns out having Austin bid on at an auction wasn't an option that I was ready for. Although, I thought that if I truly had his heart he would have digressed and told me that he didn't think that it was a great idea, but he didn't. Austin, with girls fawning all over him. That's where he's happiest.

**This entire entry I could see that the ink was even now still running all over the place. **

This gorgeous girl, far superior than myself in looks flawless deep olive skin and beautiful dark brown locks won a date with him and I panicked. Dez and Trish told me that I was jealous, but I had never felt something so irrational in my life. My heart ached in a way that I didn't know was possible.

_And then you proceeded to tell her that you thought you should move on and date other people...YOU ASSHOLE!_

**_I decide to not even try to argue with my conscience at this point because he's right, so right._**

Dear Songbook:

Austin and Chelsea went on their date dancing. Dez and I were there as he tried to teach me how to salsa dance and yet when I was spun into Chelsea and we both fell down. Austin, yes my supposed best friend Austin completely ignored me and extended his hand out to her. See what I mean.. I'm pretty much invisible to him most of the time, but especially when the next hottest girl comes around.

_I tried to tell you that you were hurting her, but you were "spellbound" by Chelsea even though she had a boyfriend. Come to think of it, she tried to ask you if Ally was okay with the two of you going out on said 'date' and what was your response?_

_She's not jealous, we're just friends. AGAIN YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!_

_Then, let's move forward to this part._

_Austin: Wow, you're a good dancer and you play football? Isn't she great, Ally?_

_Ally: Yup, greaty-great-great. *to Chelsea* Wow, you really do have flawless skin._

_Chelsea: Me? Look at you, you're so pretty_

I suppose I should just be glad that he didn't sing to her like everyone else. I left the beach club with Trish and Dez and when I got home I started crying what felt like an eternity of endless tears.

_See, what make you think that you deserve her after that? I have a feeling that her entries after this are going to get even more somber after this one._

I'm getting sick of Austin singing to every girl he's interested in or with at the time. I thought that was only special for us, but I guess I was wrong.

**I flip about twenty more pages and come across an entry towards the end of our Senior Year of high school.**

Dear Songbook:

I'm at a loss for words. I'll never be enough for Austin. /3 I just turned down Gavin when he asked me to go to prom with him in an incredibly romantic way, ironically before that Austin sang to Piper. This was the worst pain yet. I love him so much, that I can't stand looking at him with her when it should be me.

**Shit, when I sang to Piper and asked her to prom in front of Ally. That was so insensitive.**

_Oh Baby, I just want to make things right between us. Now, I just have to figure out a way how._

* * *

A/N: So that concludes Chapter 15.

**_What do you think of Mimi's stance on the situation at hand?_**

**_Sometimes the truth really does hurt and tough yet firm love perhaps is a way to get through to Austin?_**

**_Do you think reading Ally's songbook will help Austin figure out a way to get her to at least speak to him?_**


	16. BAM!

Thanks for all the reviews darlings! I really appreciate the support. xoxo

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Trish's POV**

**How fucking dare he? Seriously, I wake up in the middle of the night to go see if he's alright and I try to be the best friend and manager that I could possibly be and he flips out...ON ME?! Ugh! I hit my steering wheel as I sit in my car beyond frustrated with Austin at this point. Does he care about anyone else other than himself?**

**I pick up my phone to text Ally, I'm on my way back home to my sleeping boyfriend.**

To Ally from Trish:

Just so you know Austin forwarded that video of the guy taking the body shot and kissing you to both Dez and I. I just want you to be happy and for once I'm glad that you're out having a good time and not crying over Austin.

To Trish from Ally

Trishyyyyy! I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu sooooo much! I'm not surprised that Austin forwarded you that video. Please don't be mad.

To Ally from Trish

I'm not mad. I miss you too Al, so much you have no idea. That guy is seriously hot. I can tell that you are drunk. Out of curiousity who is he anyways?

To Trish from Ally

Logan Carter ;-)

To Ally from Trish

Well, I'm working on finding asshole another songwriter. I don't want to have to replace you, but he's the one that caused this entire freaking mess.

To Trish from Ally

Austy :( I'm going to go drink more now Trishyyyy. I loveeeeee you so much! Call me later?

To Ally from Trish

Love you too, Als and I will. xoxo

**Once I text Ally goodnight, I decide to call Mimi, I know it's late but we're really close and I'm really upset with Austin right now. I scroll through my caller id and hit the call button. She picks up on the fifth ring,**

"Trish? Honey? Are you okay?"

"Went to check on Austin because he's upset and he flipped out at me. I swear Mimi I was only trying to help. I'm at my wits end with him. I'm just really hurt. I'm missing Ally too."

"Is he okay?" **She sounds concerned and not sure if she needs to jolt out of bed to go be by his side, knowing this I calm her nerves.**

"NO, he's not but there's nothing that you can do at the moment to make it better."

"I'm sorry Trish. Go home to Jace and I'll deal with Austin in the morning. Okay?" **She says to me in a very soothing tone that starts to relax my already tense shoulders.**

"Thanks Mimi, I'm sorry for waking you. It's just I don't know what time it is in Ireland and I can't call Ally at the moment or Dez for that matter."

"I understand, I told you when you kids were younger that you could call me no matter what time it is if you need someone to talk to, I meant that. Now, go back to sleep dear. We could meet for dinner tomorrow if you want."

"That sounds nice. I'll text you."

**I finally reach mine and Jace's place and pull in the driveway at close to five o'clock in the morning. I say goodbye to Mimi and hang up the phone. Once the car is parked, I take my keys and quietly open the front door to our ranch style home and walk into our bedroom and slip back into bed,**

"Babe, what time is it? Are you okay? Where have you been?" **He says sleepily trying to open his eyes.**

**I'm completely exhausted,** "Too early. No. Austin's. Drama. I'll fill you in and then show you more in the morning."

**I'm beyond exhausted at this point.** "Let's go back to sleep." **He nods and i kiss his cheek and then he pulls me into a spooning position.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I start to stir in bed, only to realize that I'm en-caged by something. But it's not something. It's someone. I quickly glance down and to my relief I'm still in my dress from the night before and not naked. Shit. Okay, well I was with Logan last night, he was so incredibly sweet and danced to **_Time of My Life_** with me, then I went and brought him up to my library and we just sat on the love seat and talked. I don't remember coming down the spiral staircase and getting into bed though.**

**I look behind me, hope to God that it's Logan and not some totally random guy in my bed right now.**

_Oh, thank God._

"Logan?"

**He starts to stir, there's a knock on my hotel door.** "LOGAN! SHIT! WAKEUP" **I push him out of the bed.**

_Crap who the hell is knocking on my door at 10:30 in the morning?_

"Ally? Ally, you have to get up. We need to eat breakfast and meet with the manager for the tour early this afternoon."

_Fuck it's Dez._

"Babe, what the hell. Why did you push me out of the bed?" **Logan lies on the floor and then scrambles to his feet.**

"Get dressed!" **I violently motion my hands in haste while I grab his shirt off the floor and whip it at him.**

"Dez is right outside the door." **He smirks, it's like a light-bulb goes off in his head,** "No, I think that I'll just throw my shirt on. I'm not getting dressed yet."

"Are you laughing at me?" **I throw a pillow at him.**

**I walk over to the door and let Dez come inside. He looks at me, then looks at Logan and then looks at me again trying to figure out what the hell happened in my suite last night. I smile guiltily and look like I've just been caught with my hands in the cookie jar.**

**To make things even worse, Logan comes right next to me, pulls me into his side. I look and see Dez in shock and glaring at Logan.**

**He puts his hand to his head, **"Fuck, I got completely lit last night. My head is pounding the girls in this country sure are friendly though."** He smiles and then it fades.**

**He speaks up,** " I thought you'd be alone. He slept here? In bed? With you?"

**I don't say anything.** "Dez." _Shit, what in the actual fuck am I supposed to say._

"Austin forwarded me the video." **My mood instantly sours, my hangover becoming a million times worse instantly,** "Oh?" **I pretend for a moment that I'm not aware, but I vaguely remember Trish giving me a heads up about it.**

**Logan tightens his grip around me, almost protectively and as my body tenses he rubs my back,** "I don't give a flying fuck what Austin thinks!"

"Ally, that's not true and you know it." **He spits back at me.**_ Great Dez and I are about to argue and right in front of Logan._

"Your asshole best friend h-" **I don't get to finish my sentence.**

**Logan to the rescue,** "I sent it to him."

**Dez's eyes start to burn with fire,** "Why the fuck would you do that? It's not bad enough that he's already driving Ally absolutely nuts. I told him to cool it, he did then YOU fucking sent him that video? WHY!"

"Ally, isn't his." **Logan says just simply stating the fact. He continues,** "Look at her. He hurt her. From what I learned last night Ally hasn't been his girlfriend for a while now. You should be happy that someone is putting him in his place. Austin doesn't deserve her."

"And what makes you think that you do?! Over Austin? Over?" **He scoffs, and the tension is so beyond thick that it's suffocating. They're starting to suffocate me.**

"YOU?! Are you saying that you deserve her?!" **Logan fires back.**

"At least I fucking have known her for a good seven years now, unlike you asshole." **Dez lunges at Logan, I put myself in the center and in between the two of them. He ends up punching me in the stomach, causing me to fall to the floor.**

"Ally, I'm sorry. I swear I didn't mean to."

**I look at him with tears filling my eyes.** "I can't believe one of my best friends just punched me."

** I clench my stomach and fall to the ground, both Dez and Logan are in complete shock and trying to process what just happened. I'm in so much pain that I could only manage to say in a meek tone, **"Dez, your rage is just as bad as Austin's." **There's hurt very evident in his eyes. **

"I- I was trying to punch Logan. Not you. I swear Al, I would never intentionally hurt you. Ever. I -" **As he tries to find the right words I can see that he feels a mix of emotions, but only a few at the moment. **

Dread. Anger. Conflicted.

**Logan cuts him off,** "Listen, just because you punched Ally accidentally trying to get to me and I wasn't quick enough..I'm going to let you punch me once, and then for hitting her accidental you still did, for all we know she could really be hurt and I'm going to punch you back. Got it."

**Dez punches Logan right on his cheek. Logan counters and punches Dez in the chest causing him difficulty in breathing.**

"Can you stop acting like primal apes?! Dez, go to your room for now. Logan. We - we need to talk."

**Dez leaves looking sullen and truly apologetic.**

* * *

**Logan helps me up, well actually scoops me up and carries me to the bed and sits me at the very edge of it.**

"Were you even listening when we talked last night?"

"Of course I was. I" **He stutters out, he's not so calm, cool and collected now.**

"I told you to not act jealous and not get into fights. Austin, Austin's got rage that's out of control. That's why I freaked when you sent him that video. I knew that Dez was going to punch you which is why I stepped in front of you. He probably punched you for Austin, possibly for himself as well. " **He takes my hand, I'm looking down at the moment just waiting for whatever it is that he's going to say next.**

"You didn't tell me not to fight. Or that Austin gets completely maddening and out of control. But, you really shouldn't have gotten in the middle of Dez and I, Princess. I deserved it..I was provoking him." **He starts running his hands through his hair.**

"Logan. I wasn't going to stand there while the two of you beat the crap out of each other." **I go to turn my body and wince in pain hoping that he won't notice.**

"You're hurt, let me see your stomach." **He implores me. I slide down my dress in order for him to get a better look. I look up, just to see him focused, but a blush creep on his cheeks.**

_Womanizer Logan. Blushing? I should snap a picture of this and file it away into my memory box._

**He presses on the spot a little where I'm wincing,** "Does this hurt?"

**I nod and start to cry,** "Yes."

"It's starting to bruise. I'm going to get you some ice. I'll be right back."

**He opens the door, Dez shoves right passed him. I try my best to fix my dress so I'm not as exposed, but at this point who really gives a fuck. It's not like Dez hasn't ever seen me in a bikini or crop top before. He's obviously been crying,** "Dez." **He cuts me off,**

"Ally, I swear to God. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry, so sorry that I lost my temper like Austin. I should have my emotions in check, but I just want to protect you."

**He comes and stands in between my legs I go to stand up, fall into Dez's arms and he catches me.** "Ow!"

"You know I never intended to punch you? It was meant for Logan."

"Yes. I know that you could never hurt me."

**He looks down at me, brushes a strand of hair out of my face, gently kisses my forehead,** "I care way too much about you to hurt you in any way."

_Fuck. I really don't know what to say. I'm so hungover and my head is pounding and I really don't want to deal with any of this right now._

"Can you grab me a pair of jeans and a top? I'd like to get changed before Logan comes back."

**He hands me a somewhat cute outfit actually and it's all too familiar. Oh, the sleeveless yellow cross-knit v-neck, a bra, and a pair of black skinny jeans.** "Dez?" **I don't even bother to tell him to turn around. I'm pretty sure it's nothing he hasn't seen before. I don't even flinch when he hands me my clothes along with a bra. Hmm. I shrug it off assuming that I don't care because I'm comfortable with him or that I'm still just too drunk to function.**

"Isn't this?" **I grab my hairbrush and run it through my hair.**

"The shirt that had a jelly stain on it, you got it out?" **He knew that I remembered this shirt, very well at that.**

"Yes. I'm going to Uh, go back to my room for a little while. I'll let you deal with Logan. I could tell that he was going to get some ice. Again, I'm so sorry."

"I know Dez, you're forgiven."

**He smiles and walks out. As Dez leaves Logan looks at him, but smiles? Hmm well they just got some aggression out on each other so maybe they're good now?**

"I see that you changed, Princess. That top looks good on you."

**He walks me over to the bathroom because he says there's going to be the best lighting there. Once in the bathroom he hesitantly asks if he can lift my shirt. **"It's starting to turn purple."** He then kisses the bruise on my stomach and then replaces his lips with ice. **"Keep the ice on it for about twenty minutes. I'm going to need to get you some painkillers. Also, I want to go to get breakfast with you and Dez. I don't think that we got off to a great start, I want him to not want to punch me every time he sees me."

"Logan, how did you know about the bruise and what to do?"

"Princess, it's a part of my past that I don't think that you are ready to hear about. I'll tell you though, sometime just not now. Just try to trust me, okay?"

**I nod my head, he looks at me for a second and gives me a sweet peck on the lips,** "What was that for?"

"Well, I kissed your boo-boo and made it all better, so I thought I deserved a good morning kiss as well." **He says with a boyish sort of grin on his face.**

"Boo-boo?"** I chuckle at him lightly, amused by his word usage.** "And you're how old?"

"Twenty-five."

_Fuck, I have to ask him._

"Hey did we?"

"No. We didn't. I want you to remember that."** He blushes,** "Anyways, so we were upstairs" **He**** points towards the spiral staircase.** "and we were just talking and getting to know each other better and sitting on the love seat. We had been talking for a few hours and I kept trying to tell you that you were tired, but you wouldn't listen to me. I had my arm around you and you leaned your head into my shoulder. You fell asleep upstairs, well actually we both did. So, then I woke up I guess about after an hour and I just didn't have the heart to wake you. So as cliche as it sounds I picked you up bridal style and managed to somehow carry you and us groggily down the staircase without any injuries. I left you in your dress, I went to go tuck you in bed, but you asked me to stay with you. I swear I only took off my jeans and well shirt because they're not comfortable to sleep in. I guess after we had been sleeping a few hours I had gotten up to go to the grab you a water bottle and an Advil along with water for myself because I was sure I'd be dehydrated. When I came back, laid down you had rolled over and just put your hand on your chest and snuggled even closer into me. You were sleeping, I was looking down at you, just held the hand you had to my chest with my very own. I fell asleep and the next thing I know with your Wonder Woman strength you pushed me off the bed somehow and I landed on the floor."

**I smile at him, since I really don't know what to say to all the sweetness he just said settle for,** "That's sweet. Alright, well go across the way and tell Dez to come on over. You both need to work this shit out now."

* * *

**Logan leaves the room and I'm just left with my thoughts. I walk over to my phone and see that I drunk text-ed Trish back last night.**

_God, my head is fucking spinning. Please make it stop!_**I grab the water and Advil on the nightstand and pop the pill in my mouth and wash it down with water. Twenty minutes and hopefully I"ll be hangover free.**

**I'm just sitting here Indian style on my bed and contemplate either calling or text-ing Austin. ****Do I really want Austin to just become some sort of ghost in my life? ****I honestly don't know what I should do. **

* * *

**A/N: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Did you guys see any of that coming? Honestly, I didn't until I wrote the chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. XOXO**


	17. Taking the Stage: Ireland

Keep up the reviews! You guys rock! So Pretty Little Liars last night was A-mazing! To my baes that know how I'm editing and revising this chapter! Woo!

So I'm re-uploading this yet again because apparently there's a glitch with Fanfiction or there was, hopefully this will remedy the issue. Fingers crossed! xoxo

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**Ally, Logan and I just went out to breakfast at some cute place down the street from The Westin. While I'm not thrilled to find that he was in her suite with him this morning, when I accidentally punched Ally in the stomach he ran to get her ice almost immediately. I can't hate him for genuinely caring about her safety. I feel so awful that Ally got hit instead of him in the stomach. He's right. I could have seriously hurt her. She's so tiny. Breakfast with the three of us was kind of awkward at first, thank God we were sitting at a table and not in a booth. Ally got pancakes with bacon, Logan got a ham and cheese omelette and I got a Belgian waffle with berries and whip cream on the top. I decided that since Logan is likely to be around for a while because of Ally's tour that I should play nice with him. In the middle of breakfast Ally's phone starts ringing and she shows us that it's Ronnie. She walks into a quieter area of the restaurant so that she can hear him, when she comes back she smiles brightly at Logan and I.**

"Guys! Guess what?" **She runs over to us, well more like slides over in her purple converses.**

"What?" **Logan and I say pretty much in unison.**

"I told Ronnie that I wrote that new song. Dez he wants to you to record me singing it for rehearsals before the concert. I'll send him over the demo and if loves it, then it could be my newest single! Not only that then I get to perform it tonight!" **She says beyond excited. She looks so gorgeous in this yellow top I'm not surprised that it's Austin's favorite, then again it is his favorite color.**

**She starts doing her Ally way dance, I just smile knowing that it's her signature dance. Logan looks at her, yet he just smiles and doesn't think it's completely awful.**

"Ally, of course I'll record you singing the song and we can send it over to Ronnie. Have you recorded yourself singing it as a demo?"

**She hesitates,** "Actually, yes I have."

"Okay great."

"Let's head back to the hotel." **The three of us got up and left. Ally had Logan on her left and myself on her right walking the block back to the hotel.**

* * *

**A few Hours Later**

"Okay Ally, so we're going to have you do a run though of the song a few times. I'll record all three times and we'll listen and send the best one over to Ronnie. Sound good."

**We're officially on the stage right now, Ally's been rehearsing for about an hour or so already. She looks so natural up here. She looks so comfortable and at peace? Yes, I think that's the word I'm looking for. I'm so proud of her, she really has come a long way from the shy girl that I met all those years ago. Logan's watching her from the other side of the stage and it looks like he's been writing something for a while, but I'm not sure what. I focus my attention on Ally as she starts the first run through of the song, then the second and finally the last. She sounded incredible each time she rehearsed the song. She walks over to me, I show her the videos.**

"Okay, so which one should we send over to Ronnie?" **She asks and I can tell that she wants an honest opinion.**

"Honestly, the second one. You can feel the emotion behind the lyrics the second time around. The first time was great, but you were just getting started. And the third one was really awesome and while you can feel the emotion I could hear the sadness and angst in your voice, so for now. Let's go with the second one."

**She nods appreciatively, I forward the video to her phone and she forwards it over to Ronnie. About five minutes later Ronnie calls her,**

"Let me get right to the point. I love it! Send me the demo, I'm going to release it as your newest single tomorrow morning. Ally, I think that you have a hit here, so I want you to perform this tonight in Ireland."

"Thank you Ronnie, I'm so glad that you like it."

"I'm terribly sorry Ally, but I have to step into another meeting. I'll be in touch!"

**She hangs up the phone and Logan and I are just standing in front of her,**

"Ah! So basically what you guys didn't hear is that he wants me to send him over the demo to release to the radio stations and obviously starting in Miami! This is huge, I really hope the fans love it and even if they don't I do."

**She practically jumps into my arms,** "Thank you so much Dez, just thank you." I let myself melt into the hug not caring what Logan thinks. My hug with Ally is all but too short, she then hugs Logan next.

_Damn._

* * *

**Fuck, I completely forgot about Austin. After he sent me that video of Ally and Logan well let's just say I got really really wasted. I think I came back in a taxi at like five o'clock in the morning how I managed to get up and into my room I honestly couldn't tell you. I'm not really sure. I remember reading the text from Austin and him being all accusatory. For crying out loud I'm trying my fucking best here. You know what...**

To Austin from Dez

FYI, Ally's new single is going to be released tomorrow. That's how much Ronnie loved it.

To Dez from Austin

Can I call you now? I'm in a really bad place and I need my best friend.

To Austin from Dez

I'm with Ally and her opening act

To Dez from Austin

Is it the guy from the video?

_Fuck. I don't know how to respond to this._

To Austin from Dez

Yes.

**5,4,3,2,1 Eye of the Tiger starts to play from my cellphone. Ally looks up, and is startled for a second when she hears Austin's familiar ringtone and I put my hand up and mouth to her that I should talk to him. I excuse myself and walk so I'm out of earshot from Ally and Logan. I pick up Austin's call on the third ring,**

"DEZ!" **There's panic clearly evident in his voice.**

"Austin, please don't scream. I'm still pretty hungover at the moment."

"Wait- you're what?" **He sounds caught off-guard.**

"Hungover. After you sent me that video I went and drank quite a bit at the bar."

"I need to tell you something. I drank a half a bottle of Jack last night." **He says and he can tell that I'm about to flip a shit. God fucking damn it.**

"Austin, are you fucking serious? Here I was just drunk off a lot of beer and you were drinking the hard shit. Oh, there's something else. Well, I went to go punch the guy I won't get into detail and Ally got caught in the crossfire."

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**So while I'm on the phone now with Dez he tells me that he went to punch the guy I'm guessing in the video and Ally got caught in the crossfire.**

"WhAT! IS SHE OKAY?! HOW THE DID YOU LET THAT HAPPEN!"

"I swear Austin, I didn't mean to hit her. It was an accident."

"Was she hurt? Let me talk to her." **The anxiety in his voice is unmistakable. It sounds like pure dread and the kind of pain that's truly unbearable.**

"I don't think that's a good idea. She's rehearsing and with him right now."

"Dez, I'm not blaming you, but accidental or not. You still fucking hit her!"

"Don't you think I know that Austin?! As if I don't feel bad enough as it is. Just stop okay! I'm doing the best I can here. I wouldn't be in this fucking mess if you weren't so stupid and did what you did. You fucking basically signed the divorce papers and I'm with Ally, Trish is at home with you."

"I need to hear her voice." **I hear the pleading in my voice, he doesn't say anything and walks closer to Ally and the guy I assume.**

"Is that?" **Ally calls out to me from a few thousand feet away.**

"Yes. He's on the phone."

"Logan, can you just give me a minute?"

**She takes the phone from Dez,** "Yes Austin?"

"Dez said that he accidentally hit you, but won't give the details or why he did. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"MAYBE THAT'S BECAUSE I'M TALKING TO THE GUY THAT BETRAYED ME AND BROKE MY HEART ALL ON THE SAME FUCKING DAY."

"Ally."

"Save it Austin for someone who cares. I need to go finish rehearsing for my first concert tonight the one you're going to miss, and I will be handing the phone back to Dez."

**She doesn't even say goodbye to me, before I know it Dez is back on the other line.** " She just screamed at me, man."

"Well, do you blame her? Oh, that reminds me. So, her new single the one that Ronnie's going to release tomorrow. It's really good and it's pretty obvious who it's about."

"No, I don't blame her. Are you going to tell me what it's about?"

"No, but she gave you a clue what the title is at some point during your brief conversation with her."

"But I'm your best friend, Dez." **I try to argue.**

"So is Ally, and for once and to protect her career you're going to have to find out the same time as the rest of the world. Logan was right about one thing."

_His name is fucking Logan?_

"And that is?"

"She's not yours and hasn't been for a while now. Let me ask you something. Why would you send me that video Austin along with Trish? I understand that she's your ex gf, but I've made it pretty clear that I have feelings for her as well. Were you trying to hurt me too?"

"I was just upset, I wasn't thinking clearly."

"That's the problem you only think about yourself. It's all about your wants and your needs. What about what Ally wants and what Ally needs? Truthfully, its been a while since you have actually thought clearly buddy. I hate to break it to you."

"Listen between you, Trish and my mom I think I have had enough 'tough love' to last me a lifetime. Trish actually came here in the middle of the night to check on me and I went bazerk. Then, apparently after she left she called my mom and I woke up this morning to a very disappointed Mom. I'm sorry Dez. I should have thought about your feelings, but I'm just so used to being self-centered that I still do stupid things and almost always without thinking. I love Ally and I'm still in love with her. You're my best friend and I can't handle the thought of losing you both. Especially when I already lost her. I'll ease up on you guys and give you some space, please just tell her that I love her."

**He's quiet for a few minutes I guess just thinking about what I've said to him, then speaks,** "I don't have to tell-"

"Please Dez. I need her to know that I'm not going to ever give up on us."

"Austin, Ally needs me. I have to go. Good luck when her single debuts tomorrow. Call me if you need anything. Bye man."

**Even though Ally yelled while I was on the phone with her that still shows passion right?**

_Or hatred?_

**Or both?**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**This is it! Ahhhhhh my first official concert on my very own international tour. I'm in hair and makeup right now, I'm not going to lie my body looks really sick right now. I'm wearing a dark purple mesh style crop top with silver beading across the bodice , black leather pants, silver heels. My makeup is really really dark, dark purple smokey eyes to make my brown eyes pop, a very bright red lipstick. When my hair and makeup is done, I get ready to perform and walk to the side of the stage and hear Logan about to start.**

"Good evening Ireland! Are you all ready to get drunk tonight?"

**The crowd goes absolutely wild as he stands in the middle of the stage with his guitar and the band in the background. He's wearing a green shirt to enhance his already bright green eyes, dark wash jeans, a pair of Nike's to compliment his outfit with his hair flipped up in the front.**

"So, this first song I actually wrote today. It's about this beautiful, no gorgeous girl that I met recently and I can't get her off my mind."

**The girls and ladies in the crowd of the venue start aw-ing and crying at the same time, because I mean look at Logan. He's basically perfect. **

" I hope that you guys love my new song, _Not a Bad Thing._"**  
**

**Not a Bad Thing: Justin Timberlake**

_Said all I want from you_  
_Is to see you tomorrow_  
_And every tomorrow_  
_Maybe you'll let me borrow, your heart_  
_And is it too much to ask for every Sunday?_  
_And while we're at it throw in every other day to start_

**_I know people make promises all the time_**  
**_Then they turn right around and break them_**

Ah, so he's talking about Austin.

**_When someone cuts your heart open with a knife and you're bleeding_**  
**_But I could be that guy to heal it over time_**

_Wow._

**_And I won't stop until you believe it_**  
**_'Cause baby you're worth it_**

His voice sounds like pure silk, oh my god his swag is up there with Usher's.

**_So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me_**  
**_Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true with me_**  
_Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free_  
_So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_  
_It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_

**_Now how about I be the last voice you hear tonight?_**

**_And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are_**  
**_And every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me_**  
**_'Cause I know that's a good place to start_**

**_I know people make promises all the time_**  
**_Then they turn right around and break them_**  
**_Then someone cuts your heart open with a knife_**  
**_Now you're bleeding_**  
**_Don't you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time_**  
**_And I won't stop until you believe it_**  
**_Cause baby you're worth it_**

I start jamming along and dancing to the music really getting into the song. He's not only good, he's absolutely great live as a performer.

_So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me_  
_Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true with me_  
_Spend all your time and your money just find out my love was free_  
_So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_  
_It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_  
_Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me_

**_No I won't fill your mind with broken promises_**  
**_And wasted time_**  
**_And if you fall_**  
**_You'll always land right in these arms_**  
**_These arms of mine_**

_Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me_  
_Cause you might fuck around and find your dreams come true with me_  
_Spend all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free_  
_So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_  
_It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me_  
_Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me_

**_If I had a pair of wings_**  
**_I'd pick you up and fly you far away from here_**  
**_And you'd put your worries upon my shoulders, my dear_**  
**_Now I know I can't save you_**  
**_From the troubles of the world_**  
**_And this sounds like such a silly thing_**  
**_But if I could I'd fly you away_**  
**_On a big old pair of wings_**

_And if I had a pair of wings_  
_I'd pick you up and fly you far away from here_  
_And we'd fly so high up in the sky_  
_Where the stars are so clear_  
_And then I could save you_  
_From the troubles of the world_  
_And all you'd have to pack is your heart to bring_  
_And there we are, you and me_  
_Flying on a big old pair of wings_

**_We keep getting older, the world keeps getting colder_**  
**_Tell me when did we lose our way?_**  
**_It's so hard not to lose your mind in such crazy days_**  
**_But if I had one wish I know what I'd wish for_**  
**_There's only one thing that'll do_**  
**_I'd fly away on this pair of wings with you_**  
_If I had a pair of wings_  
_I'd scoop you up we'd fly away and disappear_  
_Then you could put your worries upon my shoulders, my dear_  
_And I know I can't save you_  
_From the troubles of the world_  
_I know this sounds like such a silly thing_  
_But if I could I'd fly you away_  
_On a big old pair of wings_

_Now if I had a pair of wings_  
_I'd pick you up and fly you far away from here_  
_And I could stay right by your side and keep you so near_  
_And then I could save you form the troubles of the world_  
_And all you'd have to pack is your heart to bring_  
_And there we are, you and me_  
_Flying on a big old pair of wings_

_We keep getting older, the world keeps getting colder_  
_Tell me when did we lose our way?_  
_It's so hard not to lose your mind in such crazy days_  
_And if I had one wish I know what I'd wish for_  
_There's only one thing that'll do_  
_I'd fly away on this pair of wings with you_  
**_And if I had one wish I know what I'd wish for_**  
**_There's only one thing that'll do_**  
**_I'd fly away on this pair of wings with you_**  
**_I said if I had one wish I know what I'd wish for_**  
**_There's only one thing that'll do_**  
**_I'd fly away on this pair of wings with you_**

**_Oh my God, I love this song. Apparently, so does the crowd because they are screaming and crying at the same time because they obviously love it._**

* * *

**Logan sings another two songs, then introduces me.** "So, I hope that you are ready for the beautiful and incredibly talented Ally Dawson!" **You guys might have wondered where I'm performing, and actually the bar that I was at last night is also a concert venue in Dublin, so that's where we are.**

**I walk out on stage in my sexy stage outfit, to the center of the stage. The crowd starts chanting my name and how much they love me, that they are so proud of me. **

"Hi guys! SO, I have something special for you. The song I'm about to sing for you is going to be international and on the radio tomorrow and you are the first to hear it. I hope that you love this song, feel as passionate about it as I do. This is for the ladies who are tired of being walked all over and just really don't care anymore. So, the name of my newest single is called _Really Don't Care. OH, I have a special guest coming on stage to help me out as well. "_

_Really Don't Care: Demi Lovato _

_**You wanna play, you wanna stay, you wanna have it all**  
**You started messing with my head until I hit a wall**  
Maybe I should've known, maybe I should've known  
That you would walk, you would walk out the door, hey!_

I walk across the stage like a scorned girl ready to burn her ex-lover.

_**Said we were done, then met someone and rubbed it in my face**  
Cut to the part, she broke your heart, and then she ran away_

That fucking bitch Piper she ruined everything. I'm actually also referring to the latest non-talented fired songwriter of his. ASSHOLE!

_I guess you should've known, I guess you should've known  
That I would talk, I would talk_

**But even if the stars and moon collide**  
**I never want you back into my life**

**You can take your words and all your lies**  
**Oh oh oh I really don't care**  
**Even if the stars and moon collide**  
**I never want you back into my life**  
**You can take your words and all your lies**  
**Oh oh oh I really don't care**  
**Oh oh oh I really don't care**

I stand and run the fingers through my hair flipping my hair back and shaking it left to right.

**_I can't believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you_**

Like the songs_ I Think About You and You Don't See Me._ I put one hand to my head and in circular motions mimic myself being crazy.

_**You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you**  
**Oh no not anymore, oh no no**t anymore  
You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go_

_Now if we meet out on the street I won't be running scared_  
**_I'll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air_**  
**_And make you understand, and make you understand_**  
_You had your chance, had your chance_

_**But even if the stars and moon collide**_  
_**I never want you back into my life**_  
_**You can take your words and all your lies**_  
_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_  
_**Even if the stars and moon collide**_  
_**I never want you back into my life**_  
_**You can take your words and all your lies**_  
_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_  
_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

"Please give it up for Nicki Minaj!" **I scream out, Nicki comes out on stage. She's only going to be with me for this one concert, and any other time I perform, there'll be a screen improvising her absence.**

_[Nicki Minaj]_  
**_Yeah, listen up_**  
**_Hey, hey, never look back,_**  
**_Dumb struck boy, ego intact_**  
**_Look boy, why you so mad_**  
**_Second guessin', but should've hit that_**  
**_Hey Ally, you picked the wrong lover_**  
**_Should've picked that one, he's cuter than the other_**

I didn't catch who Nicki was pointing to. She walks over towards me and we're both just dancing to the music while she's close to finishing her rap.

**_I just wanna laugh, cause you're tryna be a hipster_**  
**_Kick him to the curb, take a Polaroid picture_**

Oh Nicki, I already did.

**_But even if the stars and moon collide_**  
**_I never want you back into my life_**  
**_You can take your words and all your lies_**  
**_Oh oh oh I really don't care_**  
**_Even if the stars and moon collide_**  
**_I never want you back into my life_**  
**_You can take your words and all your lies_**  
**_Oh oh oh I really don't care_**  
**_Oh oh oh I really don't care_**

**The crowd erupted in the loudest applause I think that I've ever heard and insisted on an Encore. So what did Ally D. do? **

**Give them an encore! Duh.**

**The rest of the concert went so smoothly. Dez ended up filming the concert a long with a ton of fans, so the song ended up on tweeter and instagram after midnight. We went back to the hotel and partied hard.**

* * *

A/N: You guys will find out what happened and what they did after Ally's concert and whether her single is going to get positive reception or not.

Did you guys expect Ally to even get on the phone with Austin at all?

Oh Logan, man that guy has me melting? Anyone else?

I can't explain the point of Logan's character to you, I know that some of you already understand what the point of his character. Ally will be throwing a wrench into things, so don't assume that they're exclusive at this point in time. Okay? Okay. Man, I really need to stop with TFIOS references. I haven't read the book or watched the movie, but I swear that I will.

Seriously though, I love you guys and thank you for being so amazing! It means a lot. :) XOXO


	18. It's Always a Good Time

**Thanks for the reviews darlings!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**Oh my God! That was so incredible! I felt so amazing up there when I took the stage. Having the microphone in my hands and walking and dancing around on stage just felt so right. **

**I replay the conversation, well more like bitchfest with Austin earlier. I always thought that he would be around when I performed at my first ever real concert on tour. A part of me kind of wishes that he was there, but the other just feels conflicted.**

"You looked amazing and sounded amazing too!" **Logan says pulling me out of my thoughts. Then he continues, **"Hey Princess, I want you to meet someone." **I motion for him to bring the person whoever it might be around.**

"Ally, this is my cousin Jess."

**A gorgeous five foot seven platinum blonde with red highlights, hair to the middle of her chest, green eyes and tanned skin comes over with him. I can definitely tell that she and Logan are related. She's wearing a red crop top, with jeans and black heels with spikes on them. She definitely has awesome physical attributes, for as tiny as she is her chest is massive, she's just really really pretty. Too pretty? No way! Hey, maybe Jess and I can become friends and then I can talk to her about stuff I can't talk to Logan and Dez about?**

"Hey, I'm Jess."

"Ally, it's great to meet you. I love your shoes, they're hot." **I go to shake her hand and she pulls me in for a hug.**

"No, you're hot." **I blush, kind of embarrassed but loving how she says exactly what she thinks without a filter.**

"Jess." **Logan scolds her.**

"What she is! I mean look at her Logan, she's going to be the hottest new female artist for her record label."

" You think so?" **I ask her with a shy smile on my face.**

"I know so. I have a gift for these kinds of things. I mean look at my cousin, he's got some serious swag."

"And are you?"

"His manager? Yes. I am."

"And is that?"

"Hey Dez. Come over here."

**He comes to my side, stands as close as possible. So basically Jess, Logan, Dez and I are all standing in a circle very close together. She looks at Dez's body language, then Logan as if she's assessing the situation, then at me and then back and forth just trying to put everything together.**

"So Dez is your boyfriend?"

"No, he's not." **He interrupts me.**

"Actually my best friend is her ex, Austin Moon."

**I look Jess dead in the eye, not caring what Dez and Logan are about to hear come out of my mouth because I've been honest with both of them.** "I am really in no mood to deal with guys and their shit, so I'm not interested in a relationship. As for my ex, you heard my first song right?"

"Whoa! That was about him?" **She says sounding shocked, but not really knowing how else she was supposed to respond.**

"Hey Logan, _Not a Bad Thing_, you just wrote that today and?"

**He puts his hand over Jess's mouth, that's kind of not strange. I mean I guess he just doesn't want her to say anything embarrassing.**

"Logan, why do you look like you want to punch something?" **She says once he takes his hand away.**

_He what?_ "Come on Ally! Let's go get ready to celebrate your first ever amazing concert!"

"Logan, I'm going with Ally to her room. You and Dez can take the elevator with us once we get back to The Westin, but I want Ally all to myself so we can have some serious female bonding time."

**Dez and Logan started to whine, but it was no use because Jess and I weren't going to budge. The cab ride from The Tavern didn't take long, before I knew it we were in the elevator and on our floor. Jess and I went into my room to get ready, while I guess Logan and Dez are going to hang out? I don't know if that's the best idea, but I'm really not going to complain.**

"Okay Ally, so we just have to touch up our makeup, but in the meantime let me breakout a bottle of wine. I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me." **She goes and grabs us a couple of wine glasses and fills them to the very top with Chardonnay.**

"Well, my dad owns a music store in Miami, where ironically I met both my ex and Dez."

**I start to frown,** "How'd everything all start with Austin?"** She asks me, then seems to immediately regret it.**

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to."

"I had written this song, and well he heard me singing it and passed it off as his own."

"So, he stole your song?"

"Yes.

"And you didn't smack him? Girl, I know that I would have!" **I laugh, one because it's hilarious and two I love how candid she is as well.**

"We were only fifteen, and I was really shy and Austin well he was just very very cute. I acted like he annoyed me and I hated him in the very beginning, but I had a good reason to. So anyways, he became the huge internet sensation overnight thanks to Dez's filming and directing his video. He lied, then had to go on The Helen Show. That was a disaster, but give me a couple of hours and I might tell you later a few drinks in. So, anyways, Austin needed another song to reappear on The Helen Show once again and it took us hours to write it. He wrote it too?"

"I'm the writer, but he's really great when it comes to melody's. So anyways, we were sitting at the piano playing the song and our hands accidentally touched and there was definitely some sort of spark when he touched my hand. We were young, looked at each other shocked, I'm pretty sure that we ignored it and just kept playing. SO, the song ended up being a hit and then Austin asked me to become his partner after he completely made-over my practice room with my piano in it at the store. So, Austin and I are opposites and when we became partners he suggested that we hang out to get to know each other better and making it easier on both of us to write. I loved being in the practice room with Austin, just writing. Music, it's the way that we connect. It's kind of the way we always connect come to think of it. There was this one time we tried to write a song for a girl he liked."

"I'M SORRY YOU DID WHAT?!" **She yells in disbelief.**

"It was a total disaster, Jess. He couldn't communicate his feelings about this stupid waitress that he didn't even know. Not to mention when the first draft of the song was awful he hurt my feelings, he went and sang it to her when I told him that it wasn't finished, embarrassing both of us and claimed that it was my fault. Oh, when he thought I had a crush on him, when I actually had a crush on this really cute guy Dallas. He made me feel like I was unwanted, like I wasn't nice or pretty enough to actually be considered by THE AUSTIN MOON. Oh, then when Austin's first "gf" came around, before she said yes to a date that is, she said, _"I thought you and Ally liked each other."_ Seriously, Jess. Is there something wrong with me? Then, there were yet more and more girls fawning all over him. SO, when I conquered my stage fright my mom had just come home from Africa, and I performed at her book signing with Austin. We got off stage and he kissed me, and then Kira showed up saying that yes she'd be his girlfriend."

"Are you fucking serious?"

" I couldn't make this shit up even if I wanted to." **I sigh, **"Oh, it gets better. He then proceeds to not chase after me, the next day that I see him he tells me that he wants to be with me. Yet, he didn't even break up with Kira yet. I told him to forget the kiss ever happened, that we'd just going back to being just friends and partners. He got me a piano one time, it actually fell out of the sky. Don't ask, I'll just tell you that it was Dez's idea and no one pulled the parachute so it ruined my party. I have this thing about people touching my songbook, he got a hold of it because to apologize for the piano breaking that he bought me he serenaded me with a song that I had written about him called_ I Think About You."_

"Wow, that sucks and he bought you a piano, then broke it? He serenaded you not once, but a couple of times."

"I thought him serenading me meant something, but then it became his signature Austin move as in he'd sing to girls to get with them or to keep them. Dez had a girlfriend Carrie, who was Piper's sister, honestly Trish spent more time with Piper therefore I was forced to be around her and quite frankly it sucked. While Austin was dating Piper it felt like she stole my best friend away from me. Anyways, I was waiting for my boyfriend at the time Gavin to ask me to the Prom, but he didn't. Not right away anyways, but of course Austin had already asked Piper and she said yes. Well, more like he asked her by singing to her, then they proceeded to be all mushy and she was even sitting at my spot at the piano less than an hour later. Oh, then Gavin asked me and it was all perfect, but the only problem was that it wasn't the right guy asking me. Ugh."

**I start to cry as I down the first glass of wine she poured me,** "Hey Ally. It's okay. You're allowed to cry."

"I'm sorry Jess. I'm just really hurt, really really hurt. You know I thought that I'd be over it after all these years, but I'm not. He told me a few months earlier that we should move on and date other people, so Gavin was there and he was sweet and treated me really well. Honestly, Austin's relationship with Piper hurt me the most. I would watch him bend over backwards for her, and he was willing to do that for her and not me? I'm really low maintenance. Austin singing to me, singing to multiple girls it just de-valued what made it special in the first place."

"Have you told him that?"

"I guess in so many words. I hate that I was that stupid girl thinking that the boy she loved was going to love her back just as much, get serious with her, and then settle down. I thought he was the one. I loved him, I really loved him and I probably still do, but I really don't want to. Help me Jess."

"I know how we're going to start." **She says with a mischievous grin on her face.**

"How?"

"Well, we're going to touch up our makeup and start pre-gaming before we go out to the bar. Did you want to change?" **She says refilling both of our wine glasses to the top again.**

"Should I?"

"No, you look seriously hot. I'm pretty sure Logan was drooling. Um, hey does Dez have a thing for you?"

"Really? Yeah, I think he does, we kissed when we were at home, but it's complicated and with him he doesn't want to waver in his loyalty towards Austin which I get. But?"

"You're attracted to him."

"How did you?"

"I can tell, but I can also tell that you have the hots for my cousin. As you said before, you're single so when we're out I'm going to be your wing-woman."

**Just then we hear a knock on the door.** "Is my mascara running?"

"No." **Jess and I check ourselves out one more time in the mirror.**

"Ally! Jess! Open up!" Logan calls from the other side of the door.

**The guys walk in together.** "Are you guys ready yet?" **They say impatiently,** "Keep your pants on, we'll be ready in less than five minutes." **Jess and I say at the same time, we then look at each other and we both start laughing.**

"Well we're going to The Shamrock Nightclub. It's about ten minutes away. We'll just hitch a cab." **Dez states.**

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**The Shamrock Nightclub**

**I'm not really sure what I was expecting when we got here, but this place looks freaking sick. There's dark chestnut wooden floors and elegant glass shamrock hanging in the center of the dance floor and the ambiance is like that of a 's this really cool orange up-lighting in the room as well.**

"I'm going to get us some shots." **I tell everyone as we find a table to sit at for the moment.** "What do you guys want to do?"

"An Irish Car Bomb?" **Jess suggests.**

"Mmmmmm that sounds delicious."

"Ally, do you even know what's in it?" **Logan asks. Oh, if he only knew that I could probably drink him under the table.**

"Well smart ass, It's 3/4 pint of Guinness, a 1/2 shot of Bailey's and 1/2 Jameson put in the shot glass. Oh, and by the way we drop the shot into the glasses and drink them all in one shot."

"Oh, what's the matter Logan cat got your tongue?"

**Jess and Dez laugh at him, then Dez walks up the the bar, a cocktail waitress helps bring over the beer glasses. We start our tab with the cocktail waitress, in a tiny green dress and bright red hair. She puts the pints down first along with the shots. Each of us take our shot and drop it into our glass and drink it until it's completely empty.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

"Let's go dance Ally!" **Jess takes my hand and pulls me to the dance floor. We're dancing and laughing and just having a good time, when one guy comes behind her and starts dancing with her and another guy starts dancing with me. I think nothing of it and start dancing with him, I turn to glance at him and he's so freaking cute. He's got light brown amber eyes, dark brown hair and he's pretty tall so about 5'10, he's relatively muscular as well. He turns me around and we start grinding on each other, **"I'm Colin." **I introduce myself, he says**, "I'd like to buy you a drink. To show you that I'm not a creep, why don't you come up with me to the bar and you can watch the bartender make it right in front of you."

**Colin puts his hand around my waist and leads me to the bar,** "The guy my friend Jess is dancing with, do you know him?"

"Yeah, that's my best friends since we were boyles Brendan. Don't worry he's a nice guy too, then again most of the guys are here in Ireland."I look at him skeptically, "I can see your skepticism, perhaps you're wary because of a broken heart."

"But."

"I'm not judging Ally, I can just see the sadness in your eyes. I want to show you how to have a good time, that's what I'm going to do." **We get our drinks and head back over to Jess and Brendan who are now dancing and making out. Before we start dancing, I give Colin my number, but we'll be leaving Ireland soon, so I'm not really sure if there would be a point. I start dancing with Colin again and just try to let the Jack and coke make all of my worries disappear. Before I know it, the alcohol is starting to take over and all of my inhibitions are running wild. **"Do you still see the sadness in my eyes?" **I ask Colin,** "Honestly, a little but it's starting to fade and you're just letting yourself have a good time now." **He says looking into my eyes and then leaning down to kiss me. He tasted like beer. And then **_Talk Dirty to Me **by Jason Derulo**_** came on.**

_Get jazzy on 'em, I'm that flight that you get on, international_  
_First class seat on my lap girl, riding comfortable_  
_'Cause I know what the girl them need, New York to Haiti_  
_I got lipstick stamps on my passport, make it hard to leave_

_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_**But your booty don't need explaining**_

**Colin has his hands all over my ass and it actually felt really good to be wanted in this way. I haven't felt wanted, I mean really wanted like this in a long time. The dance floor is pretty packed and Colin and I are both a couple of drinks in, there's another couple next to us and dancing just as dirty if not more so than we are. I'm lost in the music until Colin starts kissing my neck, turns me to face him and starts kissing me again. God, it's so hot seriously hot and at some point on tour I'm going to need to get laid. We come up for air, and it turns out that the couple next to us just dancing is Logan and some random girl, so I turn around and start grinding with Colin, Logan ditches the drunk girl he's with and starts dancing really close to me in the the front of me.**

_Holy shit!_

_All I really need to understand is_  
_Will you talk dirty to me?_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_

**Colin excuses himself so he can use the restroom, then a few minutes later, there's another guy dancing with me but behind me, but I thought it was Colin. I turn my head and see that it's Dez.**

_Get jazzy on 'em, you know the words to my songs_

_No habla inglés_  
_Our conversations ain't long_  
_But you know what it is_  
_I know what the girl them want, London to Taiwan_  
_I got lipstick stamps on my passport_  
_I think I need a new one_

_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_But your booty don't need explaining_  
_All I really need to understand is_  
_Will you talk dirty to me?_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_  
_Talk dirty to me_

_Uno, met a friend in Rio_  
_Dos, she was all on me-o_  
_Tres, we could ménage à three-o_  
_Cuatro, oh (2 Chainz!)_

**Oh shit, and I'm still dancing with Logan. This will be interesting. Dez takes his hands and places them on my hips, whispers in my ear over the loud music,**"I know that you're not over Austin, but I really want you. You mean so much to me, Ally. You always have, I've always been in your corner."

**In the meantime, Logan is trying to get my attention as well and is grinding so close to me that I can feel his member poking my leg.**

**Actually, both Dez and Logan are turned on at the moment.**

**Whoa, where are Jess and Brendan? Still making out, go figure.** **For the split second that she's separated from Brendan, I give her a come over here and help me please look. She shrugs her shoulders, smirks and then comes over.**

**I motion for her to come by and grab Logan and to take him to the bar leaving me here dancing with Dez.**

"Finally, I have you all to myself."** He starts peppering kisses all over my face while we're all sweaty from dancing and I could care less. He turns me to face him and pulls me as close to his body as possible, we start hardcore making out while it should feel wrong because of Austin, it doesn't. It feels like Dez and I are just lost in the moment exploring each other's tongues and just very heavy and heated kissing. I put my hands on his biceps and it ignites fire burning in my loins. I pull away.**

"Dez, I- uh want you too, but I can't lose you as my friend. You are not someone that I would ever consider having a one night stand. I just."

"Ally, I need to tell you how I feel. I love everything about you. I'll respect your wishes to remain single, but even when I was dancing with other girls tonight just know that none of them were you. I don't." **I cut him off, looking directly into his amazing eyes.**

"Listen Dez, you're one of my best friends. You are so so important to me. As much as I want you, I can't it's just too soon."

"Okay, but there's a chance that you'll see that maybe we could be good together?"

**I'm about to answer when both Jess and Logan come back with shots of Jameson. Logan looks kind of mad, but I don't know I have been drinking a lot so maybe I'm just seeing things? I don't really know to be honest. We take our shots and start dancing in the group, Jess and I in the center, Logan behind me and Dez behind her, but he keeps eye contact with me. All of the sudden Brendan comes to dance with Jess, and he's in the front of her, Colin comes back and says, "Hey, did you miss me?"**

**I just blush. So basically we're dancing in a sort of train I guess. Logan, myself, Colin, Brendan, Jess, Dez.**

_WHOA! This is seriously fucking hot. _

_Dos Cadenas, close to genius_  
_Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis_  
_Get with arenas, guns on deck (Deck)_  
_Chest to chest, tongue on neck (Neck)_  
_International oral sex_  
_Every picture I take, I pose a threat_  
_Boat or jet, what do you expect?_  
_Her pussy so good I bought her a pet_  
_Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it_  
_Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty"_  
_Anyway, every day I'm trying to get to it_  
_Got her saved in my phone under "Big Booty"_

_Been around the world, don't speak the language_  
_But your booty don't need explaining_  
_All I really need to understand is_  
_Will you talk dirty to me?_  
_Talk dirty to me, yeah yeah_  
_Talk dirty to me, talk to me_  
_Talk dirty to me, oh yeah, get jazzy on her (What? I don't understand)_

**Once the song ends we go up to the bar, get a few more rounds, close out our tab and then grab a taxi back to The Westin. We walk through the lobby, take the elevators right up to our floor and decide that we're going to turn in for the night all separately. We say good night and that we'll see everyone later after we've slept for a while. **

**It has been about a half hour and there's a knock on my door. I look through the keyhole and see...**

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so this celebration of Ally's was totally needed. Yayyyy Ally has a new friend, well two Logan and Jess. **

**Who do you think is knocking at her door? **

**PS. I know I promised we'd find out Austin's reaction when Ally's single goes international, I'll get there but this chapter is over 4K words at the moment. So, that will be coming up most likely in the next chapter. **

**Please review it up as it keeps me creatively motivated! Love you guys! XOXO**


	19. Bang Bang

I'm on a roll with writing. Looks like someone couldn't follow the rules and you're about to find out who ;-)

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I hear the knock on the door, I'm already changed for bed. I'm wearing a lace bustle-back slip with a turquoise satin bow. I'd attempt to throw on a robe, but honestly, I could care less as I'm impressed that I was able to get changed for bed and have sobered up significantly as we stopped drinking a couple of hours ago at the nightclub. I'm pretty tired and I was laying in bed about to drift off into sleep. No, I wasn't expecting anyone. I actually sleep in lingerie because it's comfortable for me, this one well, it was the first thing I found when we got back from the nightclub.**

"Logan, I thought we were all turning in for the night separately?"

**He's in a white muscle t-shirt and black basketball shorts. The look on his face is enough to make me upset, he looks physically and possibly emotionally pained.** "Logan, Logan. What's wrong?" **He doesn't say a word and walks into my suite, he closes the door and pushes me up against it. He trails his hands all up and down my lingerie and then once he has me against the door kisses me feverishly like I'm some sort of addiction to him. It takes me a few seconds to respond because I wasn't expecting him or anyone for that matter and he won't tell me what's bothering him.**

**His voice is low and rough at the same time we pull away, "** I watched you make-out with Dez and that other Irish guy, whose name was Connor?"

"You mean Colin?" **I laugh and I can tell this is what's bothering him. **

"Yeah, whatever. I guess that's it."

"I know that you're not over Austin and I'm okay with that, but I just can't get you out of my head. My song that I just wrote."

"_Not A Bad Thing._" **I deadpan. Then, let a flirtatious smile grace my lips.**

"I wrote that about you, well for you."

"I thought that it might have been about me, but I wasn't entirely sure. We barely know each other." **I say to him in a serious tone.**

"We don't have to know each other to feel this insane connection that we're feeling."

**He walks over to the nightstand in my room and puts his room key and wallet on top of it.**

"Who says that I?" **He cuts me off, putting his finger to my mouth hushing me and forcing me to focus and listen to what he's saying.**

"Princess, I know that you feel it too. You get even close to me and my body reacts. The day that I met you and Dez, my hand just grazed the back of your chair and it lit a fire inside my body, my heart too actually. Right after I kissed your cheek before I headed up to my room, I touched my lips and they felt tingly in a good kind of way. I thought wow, you only caused that sort of reaction out of me and I had only kissed your cheek. I thought about that for I don't even know how long, so naturally I was curious what I'd feel if I had actually kissed you. It's crazy how things just seem to fall in place right after that crazy or not. And if you think that it doesn't scare the shit out of me you would be so wrong."

"What are you trying to say?"

"I have feelings for you. I'm not saying that I love you, but Jesus Ally I've never felt drawn to anyone like this. I can't even put it into words."

_OH MY FUCKING GOD! Logan has real feelings for me?_

"You looked like you were fine dancing with the red head." **I say with an an indifferent sounding tone in my voice.**

**Time to find out.**

"I was only dancing with her, so I could be close to you without intervening. You said that you don't want a jealous guy. I was keeping myself at a respectful distance and within reason. I like you. You don't think that I wanted to be Colin at the nightclub? He had his hands all over you, it killed me watching him caress your body in ways that I want to. I mean, and then when I saw you kissing Dez it's just - I know that you're attracted to him too, obviously but it's complicated and with Austin who the fuck knows what his deal is. I just - I. "

**I cut him off while he's finding it hard to form words and coherent sentences,** "You did? You wanted to be Colin and Dez?" **I pause and look at him confused, **"Why? I'm not understanding."

**He takes a deep breath, runs his hands through his hair in frustration and I can see the agony on his face,** "Because I want you. God, I want you so much that it's driving me completely crazy. I don't act like this, but I guess there's a first time for everything right?"

"Logan, you're obviously upset and rambling." **I point out.**

"See this is what I mean." **He says, then continues,** "I'm not like this normally, but seriously I want to make you happy. I want you to take a chance and be with me."

**He picks me up and carries me over to the bed. He sits me down and then crawls up so he's in front of me. He gets up and kneels on the bed on his knees and pulling me up with him. He starts kissing my sweet spot on my neck and I moan and my body just starts to radiate heat. He kisses down to my bare breasts where there's an abundance of cleavage as my baby-doll pushes the girls up and do so because of the underwire bra sewn into it. He unhooks the back of my baby-doll, pulls the straps down and over my shoulders kissing each of my arms and then tending to my breasts once more. He takes his hands and pulls them out of the top of my baby-doll nighty and nips and sucks my nipple while swirling it with his tongue.** "That feel good, Princess?"

**My body instantly reacts, my nipples harden even more so and feeling even more tender than they did earlier. I gasp loudly as he bites onto one of my breasts and then bites down onto the other one. It only hurt for about a second, but I got immense pleasure out of it. He kisses and sucks each of them giving each the same amount of attention. He stops for a second and I whimper.** "Ally, as much as I'm loving this. I want you to know that I'm completely sober. I wasn't drunk at all tonight. I wanted to make sure, that you, Jess and even Dez were all okay when we were at the nightclub." **He grabs my face and kisses each of my cheeks**. "Are you sure about this? I mean, I want you to remember this."

**I grab his sides and pull him even closer to me.** "I sobered up a while ago. I want this Logan. I want uncomplicated right now. Now, what do you say we get rid of this?" I** grab the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. Once it's off I stare at his insane looking body. I start kissing and licking his abs. He hisses out in pleasure. He takes the bottom of my lingerie and pulls it up and off and over my head leaving me in my matching turquoise thong only. He grabs me by the waist, lifts me up and lays me down so I'm on my back. He leans down, when he's close to my stomach says**, "Your body is so perfect." **I feel my cheeks and there's a tingling and blushing to them.** "You're incredible, Ally." **He moves up my body to my neck and kisses down to my lower abdomen. I sit up and push him up as well moving him to the side of the bed,** "Shorts. [kiss] Off. [kiss] Now. [Kiss]

**I climb off the bed and hover myself over his lap and then sit on it grinding myself against him and giving him a lap dance. I turn around, hover over the top of his basketball shorts and with my teeth yank them down leaving him in just his boxers and myself in my thong. Very little foreplay is needed as we're already hot for each other.** "Logan, I haven't been with anyone in over six months." **He cuts me off, by kissing me.** "None of that matters. I just want to be with you." **I kiss him back,** "I just don't want to disappoint you." **He lays me down on my back once more and leans down, kisses me.** "I care about you and I want to show you, so let me show you." **He takes some of my hair and puts it behind my ear, we're now lying face to face, I pull down his boxers and I'm quite impressed. I take my right hand and move my hand up and down his member ensuring that he's ready for his, then he pulls my thong off, we're both stark naked. He reaches over the nightstand and pulls a condom out of his wallet and rolls it onto himself. He says to me,** "You have no idea how much I want you right now." **He gets on top of me, places his penis at my entrance and pushes into me,** "Let me know if I hurt you at all." **He says as he starts moving in and out of me, as our bodies adjust to each other, I meet him thrust for thrust,** "Oh God, Logan. That. Mmmm feels so good." **He hisses,** "Fuck Ally, you're so tight and un-" **He lets out a truly sexy grunt. He breathes into my ear causing me to shiver and I explode and orgasm for the first time, let out a incredibly loud moan. Good thing, these walls aren't paper thin. We change positions where we both lie in a spooning position and he pushes into my sex from behind. He runs his hand all up and down my ass and continues to kiss my neck while massaging my breasts and bringing his right hand down to my walls and rubs vigiorously over my clit and hitting my g-spot causing me to orgasm for now the second time. Yes, he's that freaking good. While he pumps back and forth behind me hitting my walls so deeply, I make him hit them even deeper as I rock my body back and forth, once again meeting his hips with my own. He grabs my face and turns my head so that I can kiss him, once my head is turned he puts both of his arms around me and kisses me and bites hard enough to make me gasp allowing him access to stick his tongue and rub it vigorously all over and inside my mouth. He pulls away, I tell him that I'm close. I feel my walls clamp down around him, as he puts me over the edge once more and I cum screaming out in ectasy his name. He moans out,** "Oh God Ally." **He releases into the condom, grabs his now soft member and pulls carefully out of me kissing my shoulder. He kisses my cheek and tells me that he's going to clean up and that he'll be right back. **

**He's only in my bathroom for a few minutes, comes back out in his boxers and comes back over to the bed. And climbs in,** " I guess you want to sleep and stay with me again?"** He nods his head and kisses my forehead,** "Yes. Why did you want me to go?" **There's concern evident in his voice. it's kind of sweet.**

"No, no. Of course you can stay."** I add, **On one condition."

"Which is? You don't want a relationship." **He says with a twinge of I think disappointment in his voice.**

" Well that and go put a shirt on and your basketball shorts too."

"Well, are you just going to sleep naked?"

"Hmm, well you see I thought about it." **I wink at him, his eyes light up,** " I think that you should probably put some clothes on, because if we fall asleep together and I wakeup to you completely naked. I'm going to want to be inside you immediately." **I walk over, grab my long black silk nightgown, slip it over my head.** "Oh, like that's any better than you naked?" **I smirk at him standing by the mirror,** "Well, this is what you have to work with."** He gets out of the bed and pulls me over with him and into the bed, pulls the covers over us.** "Now, I'm going to cuddle you until we fall asleep. If by chance someone knocks on the door tomorrow whether it's Jess or Dez, I promise that I'll spring out of bed even if I'm groggy. Goodnight, Gorgeous."

"Goodnight, Handsome."

* * *

**A/N: The Austin chapter will most likely be next.**

**Were you guys expecting Logan to be at Ally's door, let alone them getting intimate?**

**As I mentioned earlier in this chapter. Ally hasn't been with anyone since Austin, and over six months when things started getting bad which means timeline wise she hasn't had sex in about seven months, Austin has been messing with her head and heart for much longer than that. I don't want to hear that Ally's a slut, because if she was. She wouldn't have waited this long to be intimate with anyone else. Don't assume that she doesn't love Austin. ****Austin..he hurt her, now is she doing this to get back it him? No, not really. ****Sometimes things happen and they don't make sense. Ally's doing what's best for for her. I hope that you guys can see and understand that.**

**XOXO**


	20. Ally's Single Released Internationally

The chapter you guys are probably anxious for. The song in this chapter I listen to on a daily basis and could over and over and over again, that's how amazing it is, but it's not my only favorite.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own these amazing song lyrics.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**After I got off the phone with Dez and Ally had just screamed at me. Now, before you freak I only had a couple of glasses of Jack Daniels. I wasn't completely fucking wasted out of my mind knowing that tomorrow morning Ally's newest single is going to be released. I decided to attempt writing a song, I mean the last real song I wrote alone was** _Chasin' the Beat of My Heart _**for Ally.**

**Wait, I know. I'll keep reading some of the entries in her songbook.**

Dear Songbook:

Why does Austin have to be so difficult? I swear that nothing is ever easy with him. He's so dense, and dear God what was he thinking when he thought I'd actually want him with any other girl besides me? Sometimes, I think that it would be easier if I just didn't love him anymore.

**I let a tear slip down my cheek.**

Dear SongbooK:

Austin's flavor of the weeks name is Tracey? Or is it Tiffany? Or? Oh wait I've got it Taylor. She's got medium dark brown hair with green eyes, about 5'4 and he's been out with her every single fucking day this week. He's been missing and forgetting about our songwriting sessions and honestly I'm getting really fucking sick of this. Oh, I met this guy today his name is Ethan and he asked me out on a date and I think I'm going to go and see what happens.

So while I was neglecting her another guy noticed her? Did she actually go on a date with this guy?

Dear Songbook:

Loving Austin is just giving me misery, him pleading like Maroon 5's song _One More Night_. For him, whenever we're intimate I swear that he just looks at me like I'm some object and it's just sex. I've been his play thing for so long. I don't even remember or know what it's like to truly feel loved. I'm tired of fighting for something that is so hopeless.

**Holy shit. I can't believe that she feels like when I'm intimate with her for me it's just mindless fucking. I love her, and she doesn't even feel or believe that? Wow just wow.**

* * *

_You're the biggest asshole!_

**Thanks, as if we haven't already established that.**

_Stop fucking arguing with me, put me to good use for once in your fucking life._

**No wonder she's so done with me. I am starting to fucking hate myself for what I've put her through.**

* * *

**I grab my very own Songbook that Ally bought me years ago, from a drawer in my desk in my bedroom. I walk back downstairs to the piano that's in my house. Sitting at the piano, how the fuck am I supposed to sit here and not have a meltdown? I could look at any piano and just think about her. I wish that she was here sitting next to me, so my hand could accidentally touch hers and I could see a blush on her face. ****There's dust on it, I wipe it off. ****Crazy how my songbook smells like Ally and just how much I have taken her for granted.**

**Alright, well here goes nothing. Hey, maybe something she wrote as a entry could work for the chorus.**

_You wouldn't be writing your own fucking songs if you would have realized what you had when you had it._

**Hmm, well from the three entries that I've just read I can assume that for her loving and being in love with me hasn't been easy on her, but then again when is anything in life ever truly easy.**

_Easy Love: R5_

_Lovin' you ain't easy_

_Nothin' ever is_

Okay, so my response to her songbook entries could be this.

_**But I will keep on fightin'**_

_**For a love like this**_

_**You know I wouldn't have it any other way**_

_**Even when times get tough**_

_**I don't want no easy love**_

Well, that works as a start I guess. I don't want to just give up on us when things get hard, I don't want love with anyone if it's easy. Love isn't supposed to be easy, it's such a strong and complex emotion that people feel when they're in it. I want the kind of love that's worth fighting for. Alright, now to come up with the verse's. Okay, so my the chorus of the song is suggesting that loving a person isn't easy, in this case. Loving me isn't easy on Ally.

Alright, so how would a guy deal with the stress of being in a tumultuous and frustating relationship. Oh, I got it.

_**This is a track for the guys with**_

_**One lady in their life**_

_**You wanna pull out your hair sometimes**_

_**But she's still your girl**_

_**A love that lasts is like a unicorn**_

Unicorn's are magical and love is magic, but you can't see unicorns and you just believe in them anyways.

_**Holding on, a lost art form**_

I'm trying to hold on and wait it out and not give up. So many people don't believe in fighting for the one that they want.

_**Sometimes you want to throw in the towel**_

_But she's still your girl_

_Lovin' you ain't easy_

_Nothin' ever is_

_But I will keep on fightin'_

_For a love like this_

_You know I wouldn't have it_

_Any other way_

_Even when times get tough_

_I don't want no easy love_

_**Second verse goes to the females**_

_**Rollin' their eyes when we fail**_

Well, this is ironic when years ago when I practiced asking Piper to the prom and Ally was helping me she definitely was rolling her eyes.

_**Make you wanna go and shop retail**_

_But he's still your man_

God, I was so stupid. How in the fuck didn't I realize that she had my heart the entire time and much sooner than at the fucking Prom of all places? She walked into the room and I was taken away by how stunning she looked, it made me instantly regret and realize that I didn't want to be and shouldn't have brought Piper as my date, let alone be with her. She even broke up with Gavin because she wanted to be with me.

_**Are we crass? Undeniable**_

_**Dirtbags, we're professional**_

I am the very definition of both. I've desensitized myself for so long. As for being a total fuckhead, it's literally no contest. I have them pretty much beat. But, it does talk about most men in general where it would ring true.

_**Sometimes you wanna throw in the towel**_

_**But he's still your man**_

_Lovin' you ain't easy_

_Nothin' ever is_

_But I will keep on fightin'_

_For a love like this_

_You know I wouldn't have it_

_Any other way_

_Even when times get tough_

_I don't want no easy love_

_**I don't believe in "Nothin' lasts forever"**_

_**I can make us last forever if she ever gives me another chance.**_

_**And every time you're feelin' down**_

_**I know we're gonna work it out**_

_**And I know we can't live without each other**_

_**Ally and I have a long history together. She's been in Ireland for what feels like forever, when realistically its been a month already. While she may think that she can live without me. I definitely can't live without her.**_

_Ooh oh_

_**Well nothin' worth havin' comes easy**_

_**And baby you got me singin'**_

_Lovin' you ain't easy_

_Nothin' ever is_

_But I will keep on fightin'_

_For a love like this_

_You know I wouldn't have it_

_Any other way_

_Even when times get tough_

_I don't want no easy love_

_**Lovin' you ain't easy**_

_**Nothin' ever is**_

_**But I will keep on fightin'**_

_**For a love like this**_

_**You know I wouldn't have it**_

_**Any other way**_

_**Even when times get tough**_

_**I don't want no easy love**_

* * *

**Once I finish writing the song I go back upstairs and into my bedroom. I look around my room and all I see is her. I see her sitting on the windowsill when she was pensive. I see her standing at the foot of my bed telling me to get up or else I wouldn't be getting pancakes for breakfast. When I look at my bed. I see her naked body on it and the endless times I made love to her, well what she considered that I felt was mindless fucking? As in there was no emotion behind the actual sexual act itself.**

_Had I become so desensitized and indifferent about us because of the industry that I'm in that I've become some mindless fucking robot? I guess in her eyes, the answer was yes._

** I walk over to my dresser next to my desk, grab a picture of Ally. She's wearing a green dress with black stripes across it. She also has a black belt with a huge silver heart in the center, her hair is curled loosely a little passed her shoulders.**

**Yes, I know. Once again I touched her songbook when I wasn't supposed to, but in my defense I bought her this amazing piano to play at her first concert, her first concert.. was yesterday and I missed it. I find myself feeling very somber about that. Where was I? Oh, that's right...Anyways, Dez's brilliant plan didn't work when the piano fell from the sky and crashed into and I mean literally crashed Ally's party. I wanted to apologize and when I read the lyrics to Ally's song, they just hit home for me. It was like our hearts were totally in-sync. This song showed Ally how I really felt about her, that I felt the same way, that I wanted to be with her. I didn't say it, but I'm pretty sure that I knew I loved her then. It would explain why I was so upset when my huge surprise turned out to be a total disaster, and why I wanted nothing more to make her forgive me. I wanted her to know how much she meant to me. I walked over to Ally's songbook and it still had the lyrics in blue ink, Ally prefers blue ink over black because she thinks it looks nicer, read bits and pieces of the song. **

**Flashback**

**I remember walking down the stairs in Sonic Boom to the bench that she was sitting on and is now standing recognizing the song that she wrote.**

_**And I wonder if you miss me too.**_  
_**If you don't is one thing that I wish you knew:**_

_[Chorus:]_  
_**I think about you every morning when I open my eyes.**_  
_**I think about you every evening when I turn out the lights.**_  
_**I think about you every moment, every day of my life.**_  
_**You're on my mind all the time. It's true.**_

_I think about you, you you, you you_  
_I think about you, you you, you you_

_**Would you know what to say**_  
_**If I saw you today?**_  
_**Would you let it all crumble to pieces?**_  
_**'Cause I know that I should**_  
_**Forget you if I could.**_  
_**I can't yet for so many reasons.**_

**_I think about you every morning when I open my eyes_**  
**_I think about you every evening when I turn out the lights_**  
**_I think about you every moment, every day of my life_**  
**_You're on my mind all the time. It's true_**

_I think about you, you you, you you._  
_**I think about you,** you you, you you._

_**How long 'til I stop pretending**_  
_**What we have is never ending.**_

_**I let out a nervous breath and remember thinking please Ally, please see that I'm trying to show you just how much I love you without out actually saying it. I was so focused on showing her through the song that it felt like we were the only people in the room.**_

**_Oh, oh, oh._**  
**_If all we are is just a moment,_**  
**_Don't forget me cause I won't and_**  
**_I can't help myself._**

**_I think about you. Ooh, ooh._**  
**_I think about you. Ooh._**

* * *

**After reading the lyrics to **_I Think About You_** I realize that I have to talk to her. I pick up the phone and scroll down to her name. It's three o'clock in the morning in Miami, so it should be about eight o'clock in the morning there. Ally's not one to sleep in late, she should be up by now or nine the latest.**

**I call her and her phone just keeps ringing and ringing, and ringing and it goes to voice-mail. I listen to her voice-mail saying to leave a message and end up hanging up and not leaving one.**

**Ugh! I take the thing closest to me which happens to be a lamp and chuck it at the wall and the while the light bulb shatters the, lamp shade is only bent momentarily.**

**It's three o'clock in the morning. I should probably lay down and try to go to sleep, try being the operative word here. I'm laying in bed again completely restless. I'm so anxious about Ally's new song and Dez basically made it clear kind of indirectly that it's about me, but I don't know what exactly it will say. It's finally six o'clock in the morning which makes it about eleven in the morning over there and I'm finally starting to fall asleep. **

* * *

**The next thing I know I'm being woken up my by alarm clock radio goes off which means that it's time for me to get up. Since I don't have to be anywhere today I'm planning to sleep in a little bit. It's now one in the afternoon, the radio announcer says,**

"Now for Ally Dawson's newest single called _Really Don't Care._ I've heard a preview of it and let's just say that this talented woman has a hit right here."

**The song starts to play on the radio.**

_**I can't believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you**_  
_**You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you**_  
_Oh no not anymore, oh no not anymore_  
_**You had your shot, had your shot, but you let go**_

_Now if we meet out on the street I won't be running scared_  
_I'll walk right up to you and put one finger in the air_

**Well, seriously fuck me. **

_And make you understand, and make you understand_  
_**You had your chance, had your chance**_

_**But even if the stars and moon collide**_  
_**I never want you back into my life**_  
_**You can take your words and all your lies**_  
_**Oh oh oh I really don't care**_

**Holy fuck, does my Ally mean this?**

_She's not your Ally, Austin for the 3460546757 fucking time. She left you._

**The name of her song..Oh My God! Dez was right she did basically tell me the name of her song when I was on the phone with her. Well, fuck!**

_[Nicki Minaj]_  
_Yeah, listen up_  
_Hey, hey, **never look back,**_  
_Dumbstruck boy, ego intact_  
_**Look boy, why you so mad**_  
_Second guessin', but should've hit that_  
_**Hey Ally you picked the wrong lover**_  
_**Should've picked that one, **he's cuter than the other_

**Oh now, I'm getting fucking pissed. Is she referring to picking Dez over me? Or that guy Logan over me? WHAT THE FUCK!**

_I just wanna laugh, cause you're tryna be a hipster_  
_**Kick him to the curb, take a Polaroid picture**_

**Oh, that's it. I've fucking heard enough.**

**I pick up my phone, call Trish. She picks up on the first ring, **

"Can I help you?"

"Ally's Single. It-" **She doesn't let me finish and interrupts me,**

"Is fucking amazing? Yeah I know."

"That's not what I was thinking. Trish that song is definitely about me! Especially the verse "_I__ can't believe I ever stayed up writing songs about you/ You don't deserve to know the way I used to think about you._ Then, the hook before the chorus,_ But even if the stars and moon_ collide**..**Trish my fucking last name is right there."

"Austin. Ally's song is amazing. You brought this all on yourself. Grow the fuck up and get over yourself. My best friend, that's right Ally deserves a lot better."

"Trish, I need to talk to her. Can you get a hold of her for me?"

"Absolutely fucking not! You figure out how to deal with the paparazzi since you created this mess."

"But its been a month that I haven't seen her." I whine into the receiver.

"And yet, you still haven't come up with a plan as to how to get her back? Also, I haven't been able to find you the next bimbo songwriter I'm sure that you are going to want."

"I don't want another songwriter, I want Ally."

"Well Austin, you should have thought about that before you went and had Jimmy fire her. Now, I need to go interview songwriters in the meantime you keep attempting to write your own."

"I'll talk to you later?"

"Depends, I'm still really pissed off at you and you have yet to apologize to me."

**I'm about to apologize when the line cuts out, man I really need to learn how to communicate better with people.**

**I turn on the t.v. in my bedroom and the entertainment channel is on. **

_"Check out Ally Dawson's hot new single Really Don't Care. We love it! We suspect that Ally wrote that song with a particular someone in mind. Stay Tuned and wait for confirmation for who her song is about."_

**I let out a grunt in frustration and walk over to my desk and push the papers on it all off of it. I knock picture frames over and throw one of my drumsticks across the room.**

_You're upset now Austin, but this is just the beginning. Things are going to get worse, way worse._

**I change the station, Ally's face is all over the news. Pictures of her posted by the paparazzi.**

* * *

**A/N: Ally, Logan, Jess and Dez will be leaving Ireland very soon, heading off to the next place on tour. Where do you think that might be?**

**Do you think that Austin's going to start to get a grip soon? Is he going to start dealing with shit in a positive manner or continue down the path of potential self-destruction?**


	21. Hey Jealousy, or is it Envy?

Darlings it appears that a lot of you like to read about Austin losing his shit. Anyways, so I'm extremely grateful for your reviews. I just wanted to broach a subject really quick, while I absolutely love and appreciate your suggestions for the story and take them into serious consideration...** A topic that I will not be writing about is self harm, it just hits way too close to home**. I just can't for personal reasons, truthfully I can't even read about it without balling my eyes out. I'm sorry if some of you are disappointed, but I really just can't do it. I hope that you can respect my wishes and come to an understanding about it. Thank you for all of your support and respecting my decision not to write about it.

LOVE YOU GUYS! XO

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I wakeup and my phone is literally blowing up, I'm en-caged because I'm in Logan's arms. I go to reach for my phone and see that Austin called me at what would be three o'clock in the morning in Miami, and he just called me again about twenty minutes or so ago. I also see that I have a text from Trish. . I know that we said that we were going to put clothes on, but that just didn't happen, well it did but not for long. Half way through the night I woke up sweating and just took all of my clothes off again. I decided that I was hot, and so what if I maybe wanted to taunt him a little this morning. Only, problem is I lift the covers slightly and notice that he's in the nude under the blankets, I look and see his boxers on the floor. ****I carefully remove myself out of Logan's arms and get up out of the bed, slip on my black silk nighty over my head and walk up the spiral stairs to the library suite**

**Does he sleep naked?**

_I'm totally okay with that._

To Ally from Trish

Bestie! Your song is sooooooooooooooooooo hot! BTW Austin heard it and called me flipping a shit.

**I decide to text her back.**

To Trish from Ally

I'm so glad that you love my song! Austin flipping a shit? If only he knew what I did last night, who I did last night.

To Ally from Trish

!

**Now, Trish sending me an exclamation point is code for spill and the equivalent to a jaw dropping emojii smiley face.**

To Trish from Ally

Yes, I'll tell you. Well, at the night club we were at, I made out with an Irish guy super hot named Colin, then Dez, while I didn't make out with Logan at the nightclub. We went to turn in for the night and he came to my suite visibly upset, well Logan and I had sex last night.

To Ally from Trish

:-O My jaw just hit the floor. I wish that I could have been there to be your wing-woman. It looks like you managed okay though. ;-) So are you and Logan together, together?

To Trish from Ally

Trish! Way to make me blush! I think that Logan wants to be, but I don't want a relationship right now. I'm really fucking angry about Austin and everything he's done. He literally just destroyed me. Oh, and even though Dez confessed he 'wants me' thanks to fucking Austin I can't even conceive and wrap my head around being with Dez, even if I wanted to. He kissed me last night. I can't trust men now because I got burned by Austin.

To Ally from Trish

Holy fucking shit. Well, I'm not surprised about Dez's feelings. It's not my place to tell you, that's for him to say if and when he feels ready. As for Logan, if he's trying to be nice to you. Let him! You're single, you don't have to commit to him just yet, do you baby girl. Ally, its been a month.. you can tell me do you miss Austin? I won't tell him any of this, I swear. You get first dibs when it comes to my unwavering loyalty.

To Trish from Ally

Yes, I wish I didn't miss him though. :-( I really miss you. I made a friend, her name's Jess and she's Logan's cousin. She's awesome, but she's not you. :( No one will ever be as close of a friend to me as you are.

To Ally from Trish

I will come out as soon as I can. I need to find Austin a songwriter.

To Trish from Ally

I gotta go. Logan's waking up now. Love you! xo

**I sent Trish the last text, just as I expected Logan's stirring in his sleep, I peer over the edge of the railing and see him starting to open up his gorgeous green eyes. I decide to watch him from where I'm sitting upstairs in my suite. He rolls over and opens his eyes, he groans and is upset that I'm not in bed with him. He looks disappointed. He gets out of bed, slides on his boxers and I become engrossed in the book that I'm reading,** The Best of Me **by Nicholas Sparks. I'm reading about these high school sweethearts Dawson and Amanda who have been separated for twenty years and I guess find their way back to each other because of a death of someone close to them both? Who knows. I've just read this part,**

"Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. She'd believed in it once, too, back when she was eighteen."

**I'm on the verge of tears and pulled out of my thoughts when I'm sitting on the love seat and I hear a husky voice,**

"Morning, Gorgeous." **He kisses my shoulder.**

"Morning, Handsome." **He turns my body to face him and I try to smile at him, but I'm just I.**

"Ally, what's wrong?" **He places his hands on my arm urging me to talk to him and to tell him why I look upset.**

"It's nothing."

_Seriously, you're the worst liar!_

"I think I heard your phone ringing earlier. It was _Scars _by Papa Roach."

**I don't say anything for a few minutes. He speaks up,** "It was him, wasn't it. Is that your ringtone for him?" **Again, I'm rendered speechless and I just start crying a endless waterfall of tears.**

"You're too beautiful to cry. Please don't, he's not worth it. Did you call him back or respond to him? Do you need to? I can give you space if you want or need to call him. I mean I don't really want to, because you're so upset, but-"

**I just start getting even more upset, I open my eyes and look up at him.** "I'm sorry I'm such a fucking train wreck Logan. I don't know why the hell you'd want to be with me when I have so much baggage."

"I want to be with you, because I care about you. Are you having any regrets about us having sex? Because I'm not. It felt so good being with you like that."

"No, I'm not. I just- it's not f-" **He cuts me off by putting his lips on mine. I kiss him back hungrily like I could eat him for breakfast. He starts nibbling on my ear eliciting a moan. He starts kissing my neck and I just turn into a huge puddle, his touch is something new, so different and I just can't explain how Logan makes me feel. He brings his face back up to mine and pulls us down onto the couch with me now straddling him. Kissing him hotly and while our tongues battle for dominance and he wins. **

**Once again, my loins start burning with desire and I begin to grind and move my hips around and while on top of him. He lifts up my long black nighty, with the two slits on each side exposing my legs.** "It's not nice to tease me, Princess."** I bite on his neck, causing his morning wood to harden even further** "Who says that I'm teasing?" **I give him one more peck on the lips, then his cheek and get off his lap, run down the spiral stairs leaving him in shock but laughing.**

"Oooohhhhh you're so going to get it when I catch you." **I hear him follow me down the spiral stairs and I scream laughing loudly.**

"Ha! Good luck with that your not freaking Superman, it's not like you can fly and swoop me up." **I yell to him sarcastically and playfully at the same time.**

" I may not be Superman, but I can still be your Superhero." **I can hear the smirk in his voice, and as I turn I can see it as well. ****I freeze. That one word, the one that I know all too well. I'm lost in my thoughts that he's able to catch me and pick me up in his arms and dropping us both backwards onto my bed.**

**Austin, I never called him back. Then again. Do I even have anything to say to him? He's probably called Dez already.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**Fucking great. Trish hung up on me again. Dez did say to call him if I need him, so that's what I'm going to do I'm going to call him. He picks up on the fourth ring,**

"Hello?"** He sounds really drunk?**

"Dez, buddy! I called Ally before and she didn't answer me. Why do you sound upset? Is Ally okay?"

"She's fine. Shes with LOGAN. I heard them on the way back man... Why couldn't it be me? I have always been there. I lo-" **  
**

"Nothing you are saying is making any sense, man."

"Logan, Ally, should have been me." **Dez says and he sounds drunk and he's feeling down.**

Logan? She's with Logan?

_Just wait for it._

"We danced last night at the bar and made out. She should have came home with me. I'm the one that's picking up the pieces. I'm the one that's always here for her. I'm the one that would do anything for her to make her happy, yet she's with Logan."

"Dez you're rambling."

"I just can't believe this. This is all your fault, Austin. I wouldn't feel the way I do right now if you could just get your shit together."

"You what? What are you talking about? What do you mean that she's with him. Why? Dez, you're going to have to try and help me out here. Whats going on? Are you drinking right now?"

**Dez doesn't respond to my question about drinking so I'll just assume based on his non-coherent sentences that he is,** "Austin, Ally's sleeping with him."

"But she hasn't slept with anyone since-"

* * *

**I drop the phone out of my hands. I'm not even sure if I said that out loud or it's all in my head.**

**What just happened? Did I hear him right?**

_Dez said Ally's sleeping with Logan. If you were paying attention, that wasn't the only thing that he was trying to tell you._

**Is Dez telling me the truth?**

_Does he have a reason to lie about it? Didn't you hear him? He sounded upset, he also said that he made out with her last night but of course all your heard was Ally's sleeping with Logan. I'll bet that Dez really did hear it and that's why he feels Like.._

**Devastated? Wanted it to be him instead? Dez is obviously drunk, is he imagining things? **

_Would you imagine hearing the girl you love fucking some other guy and screaming his name? As for Dez being upset, I think that it's more than that, but you continue to be fucking naive until he just comes out and tells you._

**Ally is sleeping with Logan. I'm so fucking mad right now I can't even see straight.**

_It's called jealousy, well more like envy because Logan has what you want._

**Dez and Ally impossible.**

_Actually it's not. Your mom even said that while she thinks that it's not likely, because in the video Logan's kissing her that doesn't mean that Dez doesn't have a chance._

**This is fucking insane.**

**I'm so overcome with emotions, that I feel like I am going to completely fucking lose it. I'm in my bedroom and throw something at my mirror causing it to crack, and shatter, knock it off the wall completely. Oh well, I'll just fucking replace that.**

_That's the problem. You destroy something or someone and then you just replace it or them._

**SHUT THE FUCK UP, I DO NOT!**

_Yes, yes you do! Now, just fucking go down to the basement so you don't end up having to replace the entire house._

**I decide to listen and go downstairs to my basement and start beating the fucking shit out of the punching bag. With each punch I envision Logan, the dick who was kissing Ally in the video sent to me. He's fucking sleeping with Ally! She hasn't been with anyone since me! What the FUCK! I start to imagine his hands all over her, kissing her neck, her lips, his dick inside of her.**

**I scream and kick the fucking boxing bag so hard I nearly take it out of the ceiling.**

GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

**After hitting the bag constantly for the last two hours. I go upstairs to my room and grab my phone.**

**She never called me back.**

**That's fucking it.**

To Trish from Austin

We're going out tonight, bring Jace with you if you want.

To Austin from Trish

I swear to God if you do anything stupid.

To Trish from Austin

Dez just told me something and I just punched the punching bag for two hours straight. I'm not going to get into this with you. You either come out or don't. I don't give a fuck! I am perfectly capable of going out and partying myself.

**Oh, it's fucking on.**

_You're never going to learn. Are you?_

* * *

**A/N: So, this is short, straight and right to the point. Thoughts?**

**How do you think Ally's feeling?**

**Austin? What was Dez telling Austin or trying to rather?**

**Logan?**


	22. Caught Off Guard

Okay darlings! You guys were inquiring as to who my "Logan" is. Logan is pretty much Chris Evans & Chris Hemsworth put together, he also has the swag of Adam Levine just before his tattoos. To give you a better idea: Logan has Chris Evans amazing eyes and short hair, while he has Chris Hemsworth with his darker hair, but still light brown in color.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin & Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

"Logan, I'm hungry." **I'm sure that I sound whiny, but I really don't care. My stomach starts to growl.**

**He chuckles a little and pulls me up."**Well, then let's go get something to eat."

"Should we bring Jess and Dez?"

"Nah, we'll just bring them back something." **He responds.**

"You need to get dressed though, so do I."

"We also need to pack. Since we're leaving Ireland tonight."

"Very true, so let's go grab food and then we'll come back and do that."

**We get dressed, well I get dressed in fresh clothes that is. Logan, puts his clothes on from last night,** "Are you ready to do the walk of shame to your room?" **I tease.**

**He smirks and sticks his tongue out at me,** "I guess so, I'm just going to shower really quick and then come back to swing and pick you up."

**I pout,** "Don't worry I won't leave you alone for too long." **He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then goes to get ready over in his room.**

"Hurry up!' I'm starving." **I say to him, then my stomach starts to growl. He just nods, and he's out the door instantly. I can hear him running to his room in the carpeted hallway.**

**I need to finish getting ready so I send Dez a quick text.**

To Dez from Ally

Hey, Logan and I are going to get food. We'll bring back sandwiches for you and Jess.

**A few minutes go by and he hasn't responded yet.**

To Ally from Dez

K. thanks.

_Whoa! That's not like him at all._

To Dez from Ally

Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself.

**He doesn't respond and I get worried. Logan won't be ready for probably ten minutes or so. So, I'm just going to walk across the hall to check on Dez.**

**Knock. knock. knock.**

"Go away!" **He yells loudly from inside his room.**

"Come on Dez, it's Ally. Please open the door." **I'm pleading with hi, I just need to see what's up with him and I'm getting really worried.**

**I'm easily standing and waiting for a few minutes before he actually comes to the door. He opens it and he looks at me, then looks down at the floor.**

"Dez, what's going on? You're drinking in the morning now? Why?"

"I heard you and Logan last night." **Hold on, did he just say what I thought he just said?**

"You heard what?"

**His eyes are cold, distant and emotionless,** "A body slam against the door when I heard the door close. Along with you moaning "**Oh God Logan, that feels so good."**

**I can feel all color drain from my face.**

_He heard you with Logan. Shit. Well, this is um.. FUCK!_

"Dez." **He motions for me to let him finish, **

"I told Austin. He called me this morning telling me that he had called you and you didn't answer." **He takes another swig of whiskey, I take it out of his hand.**

"W-why? What would possess you-"** He cuts me off with edge in his voice.**

"Why should I be the only one in pain?"

**Shock. I'm in shock, is Dez trying to open up to me?**

"I'm not following."

**He gets up from the chair he's sitting in, stalks over towards me so there's a respectable amount of space between us, says,**"Ally I have feelings for you. While I understand you not wanting to be in a relationship because of Austin's fuck up. What I don't understand is that when I tell you I want you, you say that you can't even if you wanted to and yet you proceeded to fucking sleep with Logan. What the fuck is up with that? Thank God, I was smart enough not to come across the hall before."

"No, god fucking damn it Ally. Apparently you can't see this, but I'm drunk and don't give a flying fuck right now. I love you. I even tried to tell Austin this morning, but I'm pretty sure all that registered with him was when I said that you are fucking Logan."

**DID HE JUST?**

_Yes, he did. You heard him right._

"Do you have any idea what you just said to me?"

"Yeah, and I'm not going to keep it a fucking secret. I'd say I'm sorry for the cursing, but it seems to be the only way to get you to pay attention and listen to me at the moment. I'll make sure that I tell Logan at some point as well. I thought my actions towards you and especially protecting you would have given you a clue. I love you, you're one of my closest friends. I don't expect you to love me, but I've felt like this for a long time now and I'm not going to keep my mouth shut anymore. I'd love for him to see you kissing me, have him fucking deal with how I'm feeling right now."

"He did." **I pause,** "See you making out with me. He came to my suite upset. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong."

"I don't want to hear any of this, Ally."

"Dez, I care about you, but everything is just so fucked up. It's complicated because of Austin and I don't want to hurt you, that's never been my intention. I just don't want a relationship right now."

"Oh, but yet you're willing to jump into bed with Logan?" **I'm literally speechless at the moment,**"Why Logan? Why not me?"

"Logan's uncomplicated." **I state simply. **

**He scoffs ignoring my response to him in regards to Logan, **"You already fucking told me that. I'm not stupid, well maybe I am to think that you could ever possibly feel the same way about me. Are you with him?"

"No." **I say firmly towards him. We were currently standing apart and he closes the gap between us. He says the words again,** "I meant what I said, I love you. For who you really are. Now, I'm going to kiss you because you just said that you and Logan aren't exclusive."

**I don't even get to say anything, he puts his hands close to my ears in order to cup my face and pulls me in towards him.**

**What the hell is happening? Did Dez just really tell me that he loves me again?**

**I am standing to the side of his table with the tv on top of it. He stalks towards me and presses me up against the wall. He kisses me and I'm so shocked by the fact that Dez has me pressed up against the wall with my arms to my sides that I gasp, he takes this opportunity to explore my mouth. Pulls away for a second to speak,** "You don't think that I can be like Logan. I can give you this, I can give you hot and steamy. You don't think I can be like Austin. I could be better than Austin, treat you better than Austin does." **He reconnects out lips and I**** kiss him, pull away as he breathes on my neck,** "It's not that, Dez and you know it." **He looks at me with a mixture of lust and love in his eyes,** "I just want you to give me a chance. That's all I'm asking for. It doesn't have to be right this second, but let me take you on a date while we're on tour. God, you're so fucking beautiful and I want you even more now that I know that Logan's already had you."

**Why does this sound so incredibly fucking hot coming from him? He's obviously jealous of Logan now.**

_Don't ask me. If I were you I'd seriously let Dez fuck me right up against the wall right here and now._

**I just can't though.**

**I get him to release his firm grip on my arms that are currently pinned up to the side of my head, squirm so I can get away.**"I have to go, but I'll bring you back food." **He grabs me by the waist and turns me, he gives me a sweet kiss on the lips, and as I walk away and on way out the door a smack on my ass.**

**I turn to my right, Logan's coming down the hallway,** "Ally, you look flushed." **I don't say anything and grab his arm, drag him to the elevator, through the familiar lobby and right across the street. We're only outside for a minute before there are camera's in our faces. "**Ally, Logan can we get a picture?" **I can only assume that they are paparazzi. Logan has his arm around me protectively around my waist, he doesn't say anything or acknowledge them just yet, and whispers in my ear.**

"I know that you don't want people to know that we're together but not, but I'm not hiding how I feel about you."

"I don't expect you to, just don't full on kiss me in public just yet."

**He whispers back,** "I'm going to kiss your cheek, but I want you to look into my eyes before I do it so I'll touch your chin first to get you to look at me."

**I start blushing, he takes his finger and puts it up at my chin to turn my face towards his, we stare at each other for a minute, then he kisses my cheek. There are flashes going off, that much I'm sure of but I'm honestly okay with that. We walk straight past the photographers and into the restaurant to sit and eat. Then, the plan is to bring back food for Jess and Dez as well.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I am still so fucking livid that it's insane. I decide to go on instagram and go to Ally's page, check to see if she's been tagged in anything new lately. She has.**

**Ally's fans in Ireland have pics of her from her concert last night. They have also just posted a picture of Ally with Logan and they're outside, he has him pulled into her side, I figure it must be the paparazzi. **

**I hit the refresh button on instagram and more pics pop up of Ally and Logan, so I open them and decide to read some of the captions people have:**

Ally & Logan... they look hot together! They don't even need a ship name.

I'm happy for Ally if she's with Logan, because he is Fineeeeeee.

**It's a picture of Logan holding Ally's chin and they're looking at each other, in each other's eyes. Ugh, there goes the knife slashing at my heart deeper and deeper. **

Seriously, look at the way he's looking at her. It looks like he's in love and that's the first time Ally's really smiled like that in a while.

Is Logan Ally's new man? Aw man, what about Dez?

**Another says,**

I love that Ally looks happy. When was the last time Austin looked at her like that and he made her smile like that? I miss Auslly though. It just makes me sad that it seems Austin took Ally for granted and it's kind of obvious that she left him. /3

* * *

**I pick up my guitar, grab my songbook. I'm on my own until Trish finds me a songwriter. I decide to grab the bottle of Jack off the end table in the living room and finish it off while strumming my guitar and let the lyrics I'm feeling just pour out of me.**

**_5 Seconds of Summer: Amnesia_**

_I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted_

_**I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted**_

Like underneath the pier that's on the beach. The last time I kissed her was before she got on her private jet and left me. The way she hesitated when she kissed me back, her lips tasted like pancakes. I got her a pancake flavored lip gloss.

_And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine_

_**Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?**_

Does she even feel this way? Is she feeling lonely even when she's with Logan or surrounded by people?

_When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?_

Okay, so maybe I don't know if he's hurt her yet, but I know that I've hurt her.

_**Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?**_

_**If what we had was real, how could you be fine?**_

* * *

_Maybe she's pretending to be fine just like you are?_

**Well, she's still obviously really pissed. You heard her song, she Really doesn't care.**

_How does that make you feel?_

**Angry. Broken. Lost.**

* * *

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

_About fucking time you admit it!_

* * *

_**I remember the day you told me you were leaving**_

_**I remember the make-up running down your face**_

_And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them_

_**Like every single wish we ever made**_

_**I wish that I could wake up with amnesia**_

_**And forget about the stupid little things**_

_**Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you**_

_**And the memories I never can escape**_

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

I take another massive swig of the Jack Daniels and let the warm liquid burn my throat.

_**The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone**_

_**I admit I like to see them, I admit I feel alone**_

_**And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around**_

That's because Dez is with Ally in Ireland, Trish is upset with me as well.

_**It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on**_

_You don't know that for sure though._

_**It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long**_

When I hear Ally's name. It's literally like I'm being stabbed repeatedly in the heart over and over again.

_**It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?**_

_Austin. You know that that's not true._

_**If what we had was real, how could you be fine?**_

_You really think that Ally's fine? You destroyed her, she told you that you betrayed her and broke her heart on the same day. _

_'Cause I'm not fine at all_

_**I remember the day you told me you were leaving**_

_**I remember the make-up running down your face**_

* * *

**She was crying as if I was forcing her to leave.**

_That's because you were the reason that she left. She went and pursued her dreams of being an artist, something she put on hold, that you were supposed to be there for, but you ruined that._

* * *

_And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them_

_Like every single wish we ever made_

_**I wish that I could wake up with amnesia**_

_**And forget about the stupid little things**_

_**Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you**_

* * *

**Incredible.**

_Then, why did you take her for granted?_

* * *

_**And the memories I never can escape**_

Ally overcoming her stage fright, performing Don't Look Down when Taylor Swift got hurt and a duet with me.

_**If today I woke up with you right beside me**_

_**Like all of this was just some twisted dream**_

_**I'd hold you closer than I ever did before**_

_**And you'd never slip away**_

_**And you'd never hear me say**_

I wish that I could change everything that's happened. I should have shown Ally every single day just how special she is to me, just how much I love her. I hate that we're a part right now. I guess the saying is true, "Absence really does making the heart grow fonder." My heart is one huge clusterfuck of a mess at the moment though. I don't know what to do. I'm seriously so upset about the way that Logan is with Ally and looking at her, that my chest immediately tightens and I really just want to throw something.

_Oh great..another fucking Austin tantrum. If only you could see me rolling my eyes._

_**I remember the day you told me you were leaving**_

_**I remember the make-up running down your face**_

_**And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them**_

_**Like every single wish we ever made**_

_**I wish that I could wake up with amnesia**_

_And forget about the stupid little things_

_**Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you**_

_**And the memories I never can escape**_

_'**Cause I'm ****not ****fine at all**_

_**No, ****I'm really not fine ****at all**_

_**Tell me this is just a dream**_

_'**Cause I'm really not fine at all**_

I honestly don't know how else to respond/deal/cope with any of this any other way than retaliating and hurting her the way that she hurt me. I'm pretty sure that whatever is going to happen while I'm out partying tonight, well it's not going to be pretty that's for sure.

* * *

A/N: I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter as the next one is going to be absolutely nuts, but most likely very short. I don't know. I tried, so I am sorry if this chapter isn't up to par with my normal writing.

Um, holy confession Dez! I would love to hear your reactions to that, what soon followed.

Ally & Logan, spotted by the paparazzi.

Austin? Dear Austin... can you please fucking get it together? Am I right? ;-)


	23. Barely Breathing

Um can I just say thank you so much for over 7K in views on this story.? Whoa guys! Thank you so much!

Okay, so this chapter was extremely and I mean extremely hard to write. I don't condone the following content that is the subject of this chapter as I have never done this ever in my life. I'm going purely based on research and how I've seen others react to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I have just walked into one of the hottest night clubs in Miami. The walls are painted gray and there's red and blue lighting in the massive room. As we walk in I see, many women admiring me, but none of them even come close to her.**

**Stop it Austin. It's time to party.**

_I really don't like where this is going._

**I walk up to the bar, grab myself a Sam Adams Summer Ale. I pound the first one down and buy another three and drink them in less than a couple of minutes. I look to where I left my friends Trish and Jace, see them all touchy feely and all over each other. Seriously, can they get a room.**

_You're just envious because you don't have that right now._

**Oh yeah, watch me.**

_Oh great...here we go!_

**I look around the night club and see this somewhat tall sultry and busty looking brunette in a skimpy dress at the other end of the bar.**

_Don't do this, Austin._

**I smirk and then start walking over to her.**

"Sup, I'm Austin."

"I know who you are." **She pushes her chest together and licks her lips.** "I'm Valerie." **She looks like she's definitely "dtf" code for down to fuck.**

_I really don't think this is a good idea. _

**I decide to ignore my conscience as this gorgeous, busty brunette, in a bright cherry red dress with cutouts on the side puts her delicate hand on my arm and starts to feel my bicep.**

"Hey, come with me." **I look up to see Trish and Jace with their tongues down each other's throats and honestly I need to get laid as its been way too long for me. Valerie takes my arm and pulls me into a small booth, in the very small corner of the club, pulls me to sit down with her.**

**I take a seat, she pulls something out of her chest. It's a vile of a white substance**. " Are you ready to party?"

**She then straddles me, says,** "I'll even let you take a line off my chest." **She says seductively and then before I know it her lips are on mine, she looks so much like Ally that I can't even help myself.**

**I'm not drunk enough and nothing seems to be making me numb, maybe I've built my tolerance up and I really just want to feel numb and knock it down. I then roll up a hundred dollar bill as the brunette puts a line on her chest. I bend my head down putting my head down towards her chest and take the line by snorting it.**

_I can't believe that you are doing this Austin. You think that drugs are the answer? They're not. _

**The brunette that looks like Ally continues to grind her core against mine, and all I want to do right now is fuck her senseless. Try to forget about Ally, but the only thing I see in my head looking like and sounding like nails on a chalkboard is Logan kissing her and touching her..the way I'm supposed to. **

_Don't do this, Austin. This is part of the problem. You want Ally, but here you are ready to replace her yet again. For what a One Night Stand? I thought you were better than that._

**Ally's with Logan or Dez. I continue to argue myself while the girl is fumbling with my belt buckle.**

"Oh Ally." **I say as she continues to grind herself against me. The girl gets off my lap, and slaps me.**

"It's Valerie, asshole."** I'm about to apologize to her when she climbs off my lap and slaps me. She walks away in her skimpy little red dress, shoves right past Jace. When Jace comes over to me from the bar, and all of the sudden I feel hyper aware of everything that's going on around me.**

"Austin!" **He yanks me up and out of the booth I'm currently sitting in.** "What the fuck? Are you high? What did you do?"

"I did a line of Blow." **I say excitedly and filled with energy.**

_I thought you wanted to feel numb. Asshole. You are a serious fucking narcissist._

"As in cocaine? Are you out of your fucking mind, bro? That shit goes through your bloodstream and then works its way straight to your brain, Austin."

"It doesn't matter, man. Look at me, I lost Ally." **He gives me a look of pity and then anger immediately crosses his face. He grabs me by the collar and pushes me against a wall. I've never seen Jace this angry before. I don't even know what to do, he's normally very laid-back, but I pushed him over the edge I guess.**

"And you think that doing coke is going to get her back? No FUCKING way!"

**He grabs me by the back of the shirt and starts pushing me to go find Trish.** "I'm going to get Trish, you're coming with me."

**He drags me to where Trish has just stepped outside the bathroom. He motions for her to approach us, when she's standing right in front of him he tells her to come here,** "We have to leave now."

**She starts to pout,** "Why we've only been here an hour?"

"Austin, why are your eyes all bloodshot?" **She looks at me really confused. **

_Don't say a fucking word about it until you're out of the club. I can't believe I'm even able to help you right now._

**Jace says,** "Babe, don't ask questions right now. We need to get out of here immediately." **We hear sirens in the far off distance, but the sirens are getting much much louder signalling that they are now incredibly close.**

**We run to the car, but there are flashes going off I'm guessing because it's pitch black and but bright lights are flashing. I run with ease as I have an insane amount of energy right now. Jace hops in the front seat, Trish in the passenger seat, and me in the back seat.**

"Are you going to tell me what the fuck is going on?"

"Austin's high." **He turns his head as he speeds out of the parking lot of the nightclub.**

'YOU'RE WHAT?!"

**He's high,** "Guys, stop screaming!" **I whine to them both.**

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME AUSTIN! WHAT ARE YOU HIGH ON?"

"Blow."

"WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!" **Trish lets out an ear-splitting scream.**

"Babe, I know you're upset but we need to go somewhere as far away as possible. You can smack and beat the shit out of him when we reach our destination." **Jace says trying to calm Trish down.**

"That's it I'm calling Ally! You're fucked Austin. There's no way that I'm not telling my best friend about this. How could you be so careless and in public of all places? Do you even care that what you just did could break Ally's heart even more? She may act like she really doesn't care, but you have to know that's not the truth. You have History together. Did you even fucking think for a second how bad this could get? Did you even notice the camera flashes running to the car? You realize that could easily be the paparazzi."

"No, Trish please I'm begging you don't call her. It will just make everything worse than it already is with her."

"What else did you do? How did you even get cocaine to begin with? SOMEONE better fucking answer me right now!"

"A girl." **I say trying to sound ashamed, when really I'm not. I could care less.**

"Austin. Alright, now fill me in before you're too coked up to even fucking think straight." **Trish says in a demanding tone.**

"I was at the bar when a beautiful brunette in a tiny red dress was staring at me from across the bar. She took my hand and dragged me to a secluded and dark section of the club and I sat down. She then proceeded to climb on top of me and then asked me if I wanted to party. She pulled a vile of coke out of her chest, told me I could do a line off of it."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!"

"She was fumbling with my belt buckle, nearly had pulled my dick out. That is, until Jace cock-blocked me. Oh, and I don't recall the girls name, but I called her Ally and she slapped me across the face."

" I want to slap you across the face as well. You're a walking fucking disaster. I can't believe you."

**I've just now noticed the song that's playing in the car as Jace is driving.**

Broken: Lifehouse

_The broken clock is a comfort_  
_It helps me sleep tonight_  
**_Maybe it can stop tomorrow_**  
**_From stealing all my time_**

_And I am here still waiting_  
_Though I still have my doubts_  
**_I am damaged at best_**  
**_Like you've already figured out_**

**_I'm falling apart_**  
**_I'm barely breathing_**  
**_With a broken heart_**  
**_That's still beating_**

**Wow, I actually feel this way.**

_Are you sure about that? Look at what you've fucking done. You just did cocaine. What's going to happen if you get addicted?_

_In the pain_  
_There is healing_  
_In your name_  
_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_  
_I'm holding on_  
_I'm holding on_  
_I'm barely holding on to you_

_The broken locks were a warning_  
_You got inside my head_  
_I tried my best to be guarded_  
_I'm an open book instead_

**_And I still see your reflection_**  
**_Inside of my eyes_**  
**_That are looking for purpose_**  
**_They're still looking for life_**

_I'm falling apart_  
_I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart_  
_That's still beating_

_In the pain_  
_(In the pain)_  
_Is there healing?_  
_In your name_  
_(In your name)_  
_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm barely holding on to you_

_I'm hanging on another day_  
_Just to see what you will throw my way_  
_And I'm hanging on to the words you say_  
_You said that I will be okay_

**_Broken lights on the freeway_**  
**_Left me here alone_**  
**_I may have lost my way now_**  
**_I haven't forgotten my way home_**

_I'm falling apart_  
_I'm barely breathing_  
_With a broken heart_  
_That's still beating_

_In the pain_  
_(In the pain)_  
_There is healing_  
_In your name_  
_(In your name)_  
_I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm barely holding on to you_

_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_  
_I'm holding on_  
_(I'm still holding)_

_I'm barely holding on to you_

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**We're leaving The Westin as we speak and heading back over to the airport where my private jet is. I'm with Dez, Jess and Logan when my phone starts blowing up constantly while we're in the taxi. We're heading to our next destination on tour. I look over to Dez, see his phone is going crazy as well.**

**I see that my tweeter is blowing up with tons of mentions, of course Austin's name. Shocker.**

**I open my tweeter and see a picture that I wish that I could un-see along with a headline from the paparazzi.**

*Hottest nightclub in Miami busted for drugs. Austin Moon was seen with a busty brunette that looked an awful lot like his ex-songwriter Ally Dawson. Don't worry there's no way that she's in Miami right now. She was spotted with musician Logan Carter earlier this afternoon in Ireland. It looks like Austin's back to his womanizing ways!*

**The first picture that came with this caption is the brunette straddling Austin, his hands are on her hips. The lust in his eyes is un-mistakable, because I know that look.**

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**I notice that Ally's become ghostly pale and thank God she's sitting in the taxi, because there's a good chance that she's going to pass out. Her eyes look completely vacant, all of the sudden very lifeless.**

**I heard my phone blowing up earlier, decide to check it a couple of minutes later. I look and see the picture that Ally must have been looking at. **

_God fucking damn it Austin!_ **Seriously, he cares only about himself. **

**I continue to look as other pictures have been posted, the same brunette that is straddling him he's also licking her neck. I feel my fist clench, a hand touch my arm and instinctively I want to react, but don't.**

"Hey, what are you looking at? You look pissed and Ally's really pale." **Logan asks me sounding really concerned.**

**I take my phone and show both Logan and Jess what we're looking at. Jess is sitting next to Ally, she just has her arm around her in a side hug, rubbing her arm.**

"Ally. Ally. We're going to be at the airport soon."

**She says absolutely nothing in response to Jess. **

"Princess, tell me what's wrong." **Logan coos towards her. She looks up at him, her eyes start to water and before we know it she's in complete hysteria.**

**I screenshot the pictures and headline and send Trish a text.**

To Trish from Dez

There are pictures of this all over tweeter and I'm sure by now instagram. Ally's seen them already. I can't believe how fucking selfish Austin is. He knows how this shit makes her feel, yet he still did it anyways. A leopard can't change its spots after all I suppose.

To Dez from Trish

Oh my God! I wish that I was there to comfort her.

**I glance up from my phone and see that Ally's on hers looking at the pictures and I think that she just pulled open a blank text. She starts to type and she has the largest font possible so I'm able to read it. It reads:**

To Austin from Ally

I can't believe that I ever fucking loved you. And to think I was actually considering calling you when we reached the next place on tour. You will never change. Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you. You can forget Forever & Always because that was probably the biggest joke and lie you have ever told me. Thank you for wasting the last eight years of my life. I wish I never gave a flying fuck about you.

To Trish from Dez

Your heart is going to break even more for Ally when you read what she just sent to Austin's phone.

To Dez from Trish

:'(

* * *

A/N: This chapter was so hard to write. As I've said before I don't condone it, but I know how drug use can hurt the one's that the 'user' or 'experimenter' loves. I'm so so sorry that I had to write this chapter, as it broke my heart literally to write it. I'm also sorry if everyone legit hates me right now. There's a reason why I haven't shown the possible pictures or videos to Ally. Any thoughts?

No, Ally has not seen evidence of Austin doing the cocaine. Who thinks that she will? Will Trish tell her in the near future about this?

Austin is an absolute freaking train-wreck. Who really knows if he can actually get his shit together!


	24. Skeleton in the Closet

Thanks for the reviews, love y'all. Sorry if this chapter is kind of short, but it gets the point across.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

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**Ally's POV**

**I should be thrilled that I'm on my private jet with three of my friends and we're heading to Brazil right now, but I'm not. I've heard that it's incredibly beautiful there. I'm not thrilled when I should be ecstatic that we're going to a place that is supposed to be absolutely breathtaking. There's a reason that I'm upset with Austin, the other pictures that have now surfaced on the internet as well.. I can't disclose just yet what the reason is, but let's just say I can tell from the pictures what went on.**

**I'm sitting next to Logan. Logan's sitting next to Jess, and Jess is sitting next to Dez. We've just boarded the plane and the pilot comes over the intercom basically telling us to get comfortable and that the trip is going to take a day to reach Brazil. The four of us groan, but know that we'll have to stop at least once to re-fuel. Our pilot tells us that we'll be flying to Washington DC, then to Houston, TX, to Rio De Janiero.**

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**Time Skip Houston, TX**

**We've been on the plane for over eleven hours already. I need to get up to go use the bathroom, get changed into some yoga pants and one of my Victoria's Secret shirts. I can't seem to tell what time it is at the moment, if I had to guess it's probably around 9:00 p.m.**

"Logan. I need to go change, I'll be right back." **He looks at me and takes his head off of my shoulder.** " Alright, but you're so comfy."

**I grab some clothes from the overhead where we put our carry-on's along with my makeup bag and walk into a decent sized bathroom for a private jet, therefore it's not cramped. I look in the mirror and I'm looking at myself, but I don't actually see myself if that makes sense. My once bright eyes filled with love are now completely vacant and lifeless. I pull my phone out of my back pocket and look at endless texts from Austin, which now I'm realizing was a mistake because I'm full on crying right now as I look up into the mirror. I wipe my tears and then put my phone on the sink, pulling my skinny jeans down and over my legs and step out of them. I then replace them with my black yoga pants. I pull the tight fitting shirt off that I have on at the moment, swap it for an off the shoulder purple sweater from Victoria's Secret. As I start to attempt to do my makeup, my mind starts to wander between Austin and a secret that only he and Trish know about**.

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_Flashback_

_I had just gotten back from my first day of high school when I received a call from my Aunt Julie who was out of breath, asked me to come over to the house immediately. I ran down three houses to find a screaming match going on between her and my cousin Molly. My aunt is hysterically crying and I ask her what's wrong._

_She grabs my older cousin Molly by the arm and says, "Show her!" Tears were absolutely streaming down her face. I noticed that Molly had on long sleeves when it was hot out. Hmm, well that is strange. My aunt pushes the sleeves up to Molly's elbow. There are fresh cuts on her arm as well as healed ones. She's only seventeen, and possibly had permanent scars on her body._

_My aunt turns towards me, "Did you know about this?"_

_"No, I swear that I didn't."_

_I remember thinking that my gorgeous cousin had lost herself to drugs. She was gorgeous, smart, outgoing and everyone adored her. I don't think I will ever truly understand where it all went wrong. I mean how did I not see the signs of a truly troubled girl? __I thought my cousin was stronger than that, but I guess it was just a mask she wore. One that she made herself believe, she had to believe it herself in order for others to believe her._

_"Molly, why would you do this?" I ask her looking like I'm completely destroyed because I end up falling to my knees because they gave out. _

_She doesn't respond, my Aunt Julie pulls something out of Molly's top dresser drawer. "Oh, this is not all that she's been doing. " My aunt pulls out a small brown vile and opens the cap, showing me the white substance. "Cocaine? You have been doing cocaine?" I look at Molly with complete disbelief and despair. I look at her ghostly pale face, her body that was once healthy, is now completely gaunt looking and it makes me feel even worse. You see, Molly was the first friend I ever really had, your cousin's are supposed to be your first best friends, because I don't have any siblings Molly was the closest thing that I would ever have to a sister._

_Once my aunt caught her doing cocaine we brought her into a facility where they could put her into detox. She would go to rehab and get herself clean. That was the plan. My aunt and uncle brought Molly into the hospital for detox, she went into rehab for a little while, but when she came out she relapsed. The addiction she had to cocaine was far greater than any of us could have ever realized._

_One night, my aunt and uncle were out and I was supposed to sleep over and spend the night with Molly. She has been out of rehab for a few months and I thought that she was doing well. I thought that she had finally kicked coke. I couldn't have been more wrong._

_I let myself into my cousin's house, called out her name but I got no response. I searched pretty much the entire house for her, when I found her there was an open vile of cocaine completely empty. Molly was on the floor, there was water overflowing in the bathtub, spilling over onto her body._

_"MOLLY! OH GOD! MOLLY, NO!" I scream and I started shaking her trying to wake her up, but nothing would work._

_I called 911 and then they called for an ambulance, Molly's pulse was still there but was slow very slow and it got progressively slower. When the ambulance came they put her on a stretcher and took her to the hospital._

_Molly had overdosed that night. The doctors revealed that there was cocaine in her bloodstream and that it was laced with heroin the deadliest of drugs._

_End Flashback_

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**The pictures that surfaced of Austin on the internet I could tell that his eyes were bloodshot. I know this because Molly's eyes looked just like that when she first started using and for the duration of her albeit too short life. To get rid of her red eyes she would use eye drops to get rid of the redness, blood shot eyes are signs for coke addicts. Austin did cocaine tonight, that much I am sure of. I'm not sure that I will ever need proof of it, because from experience with my cousin that's exactly what he did. Everyone might think I was overreacting, but they have no idea. The only people that I told about my cousin's skeleton was Austin and Trish.**

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_Flashback_

_Austin and I were hanging out and playing a game of twenty question or basically what was an interrogation._

_"What's your deepest darkest secret that you haven't told anyone else yet?"_

_Before I moved to Miami. I lived in New York City and my cousin who I was very close to there, her name was Molly died of a cocaine drug overdose._

_The game completely ceased and he tilted my chin up forcing me to look at him even though I tried desperately to avert my eyes. " Oh my god, Ally. I'm so sorry. You will never have to deal with that again. I promise." I had told Austin everything about what I had experienced with my older cousin and how it literally felt like my heart could stop at any moment. I loved Molly like a sister, she was my best friend, before Trish that is. He pulled me in for a really tight hug and kissed the top of my head. The sad part is that I believed him when he promised me I would never have to deal with that again. Yet another broken promise._

_End Flashback_

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**I'm pulled out of my thoughts as I try to regain my composure. I start to fix my makeup, I would attempt to put eye drops in my eyes but it will just be pointless because I have no idea when I will stop crying. There's a knock on the bathroom door.**

"Princess, are you okay? You've been in there for close to forty-five minutes now."

Holy shit, it's almost ten o'clock then.

**I open the door, see a tired Logan become extremely alert when he sees how broken I am.**

"No, I'm not. I need to tell you something." **There's edge in my voice clearly evident and it raises alarm in Logan's green eyes.**

"Okay, I'm here now and will be whenever you need me. You can lean on me."

**I sigh and then give him a grateful smile.**"Alright, well obviously I'm upset about Austin, but there's much more to that than you realize." **He nods for me to continue.**

" I want to understand. help me understand." **I can hear the pleading in his voice, the genuine concern, seriously how is a guy this hot sweet and compassionate not to mention willing to listen and to be my Superhero as he put it.**

"What I am about to tell you. There are only two other people who know not including my family. You can't at any point use this against me in an argument or as a way to try to break me ever. Do you understand?"

"Who else knows?"

**I hesitate for a second,** "Austin and Trish."

"If I find out that you tell anyone this. I will never forgive you, nor will I ever trust or speak to you again. This involves the skeletons in my family's closet."

"You can trust me, Princess. I never want to hurt you, nor would I ever hurt you intentionally. Whatever you are about to tell me is obviously serious because I can tell by your rigid body language at the moment." **He takes my hand in his and rubs circles on it to show me that he's ready and willing to listen.**

**I finish telling Logan everything, **"Not once did Molly apologize for the cutting or the drug addiction. I can't tell you how much that it tore me up inside seeing her that way. So now, you know everything and I just don't want the same thing to happen to Austin. All it takes is one bad batch of coke laced with something else and it's very possible and likely he could meet the same fate. I may hate him right now, but that doesn't mean that I don't care about his well-being. The lyrics to my song are they true, in a way yes because I am very angry and hurt, but that doesn't mean I want Austin six feet under."

**Logan pulls me into his side, and I cry even harder into his chest as he kisses the top of my head. He comforts me in the best way that he can. He tells me that everything is going to be okay and that it will all get better in time. I can't help but think to myself though.**

_Will it?_

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**A/N: There you have it. The explanation as to why some think Ally's being an unreasonable bitch when really things aren't always as the appear to be on the surface, but rather underneath the pain of a person's haunted memories.**

**Whoa, that was actually really deep. Anyways, I hope that you guys liked it. xo**


	25. Making Progress

Thanks for the love and support. xo

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

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**Austin's POV**

**I open my eyes and I'm still in the backseat of my car, but the car is parked now. ****I've come down from my high and my head feels cloudy, honestly I feel like total shit for a multitude of different reasons right now. ****They've brought me to a special place, a place where I can clear my head**.**  
**

" Austin, get out of the car right now!" **Trish screams at me as she gets out of the passengers seat and opens the rear right passenger door. She along with Jace's help yank me up to my feet.** "Okay, okay. I'm getting out."** Once I'm out of the car, she slaps me upside the head, I groan in pain.**

"You deserved that. You know that. I can't believe out of all the stupid things that you've done... currently this is the worst. You knew how Ally felt about cocaine and you still did it anyway. How could you do that to her Austin? And you wonder why she thinks that she means nothing to you. Well, your actions once again are the fucking reason why."

"Trish, I wasn't thinking."

"That's the problem Austin, when are you ever thinking about anyone but yourself?"

"Hey, that's not true." **I attempted to argue my case, huge mistake.**

"Oh, I beg to differ. Way to turn around and start acting like a fucking womanizer again! I can't deal with you anymore. You promised Ally and once again all of your promises turn out to be... Words that you just say without any real meaning."

**I decide to ignore what she says,** "I'd ask you where we are. but I know where we are."

"I really should kick the shit out of you."

"Trish I need to talk to Ally." **I plead towards her hoping that the mention of her best friend will soften the daggers in her eyes, but she goes into super overprotective mode.**

"No, don't you dare call her. She's on her private jet anyways."

"How do you?"

"Dez. I'm also still her manager as well even though I'm not with her on her tour, when I should be." She glares at me.

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**I've decided to go against Trish's demand and plead for me to not contact Ally as she knows that it will probably only make everything worse, but I just can't stay strong and not contact her right now. She's probably insanely worried and hysterically crying at the moment, with my luck Dez or even Logan are the one's that are comforting her.**

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I know that you have seen the pictures._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_Yes, I have._

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I know that it looks bad. I know what it looks like._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_I'm sure it's exactly what it looks like._

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I wasn't thinking. I've sobered up, I swear. I'm sorry I should have known better because of everything that happened when you lost Molly._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_You just confirmed what I already knew in my heart was true. Yet another broken promise that might as well be an empty one._

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_Baby, I love you and I miss you._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. I wish that I could, but I just can't. __Does the girl straddled on your lap bother me? Yes, but it's much more than that and you know that. The real problem is that you did it to begin with and knew how I felt about coke in general.__ If you really "love" me.. the second I'm guessing you were offered or about to snort a line from that girls chest you would have stopped, but you didn't. It just shows me where your priorities lie and as always on the next hottest piece of ass you can get._

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_That's not true, that girl meant nothing to me, I swear. I was just hurt. I'm hurt that you're with someone else and that you have seemingly moved on. I can only assume that you're with him, even though you may not be exclusive with him or anyone at all. Ally this is tearing me up inside._

_**To Austin from Ally**_

_ And yet as always, when things get tough instead of alcohol this time you decided to turn to drugs, and not just any drug but the one that killed my cousin. I am trying to wrap my head around this and why you would do this, but I just can't. Molly's death isn't something that should be made a mockery of Austin. It destroyed my family. Do you have any idea how many times my aunt has cried into my shoulder because of just how much she misses her? How she wishes that she would have known sooner and that we could have stopped her? You can't even comprehend the sight that is consuming my thoughts and I have constant nightmares about. My cousin basically looking like a ghost on the bathroom floor drenched in water. Being that the bathtub was overflowing it's clear that she intended to commit suicide and drown herself after she took that entire vile._

**She completely ignored what I said about Logan. **

_Of course she did, he has nothing to do with this. This is about you fucking up once again, Austin. This is not about Logan and his 'frielationship' with Ally. _

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I'm honestly so sorry, Baby._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_I loved you Austin, hell maybe I still do. I just don't want you to end up in a coffin like Molly did. This is killing me, but honestly Austin you need to get help. We tried to get Molly help and we tried to get her to kick her addiction and it didn't work. It scares me to even have to think that you might end up where she is. I don't want you to become an addict like she was, throwing your life away. I'll admit that I'm not doing much better, but at least I'm not doing drugs._

**Does that mean that my Ally still cares?**

_She's responding to you isn't she?_

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_What are you doing then?_

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_Coping any way I see fit._

**How is she coping? I find my mind swirling with all sorts of guesses as to what she means by that. Sleeping around? Hurting herself? Drugs?**

_Seriously, she just told you that she's not the one doing fucking drugs. Are you sure that you've actually sobered up?_

**What else could it be? **

_Perhaps your other issue that involves your alcoholism tendencies as well. I'm not sure that even made sense, but if you can't figure out what I meant don't blame me. _

**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I'm going to call you, please pick up._

**_To Austin from Ally_**

_I can't Austin, even if I wanted to. We're about to take off and we're on the second half of our flight going to Brazil. This is all too painful. I just think its best if we don't keep in contact for a while. __You're not the only one with a broken heart right now Austin. You just seem to think that you are. I'm going to focus on my tour. I__'ll consider calling you while I'm in Brazil for that month, but I can't predict the future. Just like I can't predict that you will actually keep or trust that you are going to get help. That I won't have to fly back to Miami while on tour to attend your funeral. You may not be my favorite person right now, but I don't want you to end up like Molly. :'(_

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**What?**

_I told you, I told you to think before you did what you did, but you didn't listen. We're a fucking mess, you're going to be quarantined. Now, are you going to pull your fucking self together?_

**Yes.**

_I wish that I believed you, but even I don't at this point in time._

**I need her. I feel like I'm only half a heart without her.**

_Well, then you better be willing to do anything to get her back, we're going to start with fixing your poor excuse for decisions that you've made. You're going to go to rehab, as a precautionary because you need a serious fucking reality check as to how bad things can get if you don't clean yourself up. In addition to that, you are going to go see a therapist. Next, you are going to quit being a fucking narcissist and antagonizing the shit out of Ally, Dez and Trish. You will not be partying in nightclubs anymore. Bars are a completely different story. We have to fix your image. So, we're going to work on you. When we're out, you are going to show the public that you are sorry for your womanizing behavior and for hurting Ally. As a matter of fact, I think that you should make a public apology to her if we're approached by the paparazzi. You are more than welcome to write countless sad love songs and even listen to them for all I care. You want to get out then hang out with Trish and Jace. For now, you have to accept that Ally is either with Logan, Dez, both or some random guy. You can't be angry with her for finally moving on after you played with her heart carelessly for so many years. You never truly committed to her in a way that she deserved and you need to understand that. Am I clear?_

**I feel like I've mentally been slapped in the fucking head.**

_That's because you have. Now stop fucking up constantly! Do you really just want to be a sad song playing every night and day? Or do you want to get your shit together and win your girl back?_

**The lyrics of **_Stay With Me_** keep replaying over and over in my head. As I walk down the beach and attempt to clear my head.**

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A/N: Please read & review! :)


	26. Copacabana Beach Date

I actually think it's time for you guys to hear someone else's POV so here it is. Enjoy :) Thanks for the reviews guys!

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I only own my original characters Logan & Jess.

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**Logan's POV**

**I'm shocked about the family secret Ally just told me to say the very least. She's currently crying into my shoulder about Molly and I'll bet Austin too. Man, I really just want to know what the hell he did that was so awful that I don't make the same mistake he did. I've known Ally and spent time with her and it's been a little over the month. It's not very typical, but we just had this instant connection. Was I a total dick to her at first? Yeah. Is it likely that if she ever gets out of line again that I'll put her in her place again? Yeah.**

**Honestly, I love spending time with Ally. She's just I don't know there's just something about her. The more time that I spend with her, the more that I like about her. She's sweet and she just deserves to be treated like a Princess which is why I call her that. I'm actually really crazy about her.**

**I'm not going to lie. I know that it will take her a long time to get over Austin. I'm just scared that he's going to come wherever we are and take her away from me. That night in the club in Ireland when I watched her make out with Dez and Colin on the same night, well it just sucked. I know that we're not official but everything just feel so right when I'm with her. We have this positive energy towards each other and honestly it's infectious. I never want to hurt Ally and honestly I really do just want to be with her. So, I'll wait patiently until that day comes when she's ready to give me what I'm sure that Austin has right now. And then there's Dez. I'm also kind of concerned about him because he's one of Ally's best friends, I can tell that he has feelings for her and I suspect that they're strong but for all I know he's just acting as an overprotective brother. Dez seems like a really nice guy, but it both helps and hinder my chances with Ally that he's also Austin's best friend as well. I have no idea what I'm up against when it comes to Dez, but I can tell that even if Ally wants Dez she's definitely holding back with him in a way that she doesn't with me.**

**We're in our seats on the private jet, I'm sitting right next to Ally. I've just listened to her talk about Molly and her concerns for Austin as well. Her cousin was so young when she overdosed, and just like that she didn't even get to live to be an adult. Right now Ally has her head on my shoulder and she's been talking to me and crying for hours. I really wish that there was something that I could do to help her. I mean am I here to listen to her when she needs me absolutely, honestly I just her to be happy. We've only got another five hours until we land in Brazil and the pilot told us that we were free to move about the cabin and take our seat belts off once again. Once he said it was okay I just pulled Ally into my lap and just hold her. I start to rock her back and forth and it seems to calm her, even soothe her sadness and for that I'm thankful. I finally get her to sleep after about twenty minutes of just rocking her, and put her back into her sleep. I pick her up and slide her back into her seat and even though the seat belt sign is still off, I'd rather be safe than sorry and buckle her in. She starts to stir in her sleep and I notice that I'm the only one awake other than the pilot at the moment. Jess has her head up against the window and sleeping and Dez looks like he's out cold as well. I look down at Ally, notice just how beautiful and peaceful she looks right now. Her skin really is like porcelain and absolutely flawless, she stirs a little more and says something I didn't think she'd ever say while sleeping.**

"Logan."

**I can't help but smile when I hear her say my name while she's sleeping. She is completely sound asleep and she cuddles herself right into my side. I love the feeling I get when I'm with her, I feel all warm and fuzzy. It's something that I haven't felt in a very long time. Like Ally has Austin, I once had someone but she's just a distant memory and someone that I'm completely over because I was forced to be. I feel more alive when I'm with Ally than I ever did with her. Ally challenges me. She's smart, beautiful and her voice is just something else. She's really just special.**

**I hear Ally's phone vibrate right next to her and I can only assume that it's either Trish or Austin texting her. She has one of those smartphones that when it lights up you can see the text before actually opening it. I glance down and groan, of course it's from Austin. Why wouldn't it be?**

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**_To Ally from Austin_**

_I won't give up on us. I'll fight for you until we're together again and you're mine. You're my heart and I'm lost without you._

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_Wow, this guy is just not going to make this easy on her or me for that matter._ **I find myself wondering how the hell Dez puts up with this as I'm sure he's always put in the middle between the two of them. I've made up my mind. I'm going to ask Ally what Austin did to make her leave him, just because I need to. I also have a couple of things to tell her, but I don't think it will hurt whatever it is we are in any way. I need to show Ally that she's special and that I can make her happy. I just want the chance to do it, I'm at an advantage because I'm right here with her and Austin is millions of miles on the other side of the world. I'm going to do something special for her to get her mind off of everything. Ally needs fun and spontaneous and that's what I'm going to give to her. Hair has fallen over her face and I take it and tuck it behind her ear and kiss her forehead. I'm sure that it's crazy the way that I feel about her, especially since I think or I'm pretty sure that she's hung up on Austin. He's a complete idiot for letting her go because if she gives me the chance I'm going to be more than willing to make her happy. She deserves to be truly happy, I know that I can make her truly happy. While Ally's sleeping I take the opportunity and whisper into her hair, "I'm absolutely crazy about you, Princess." I feel sleep finally take over and the next thing I know we've landed and are finally in Brazil.**

**I have major plans for while we're here and when we're not rehearsing for our concerts, my plans include Ally and I alone, along with on occasion us with Dez and Jess as well.**

"Babe, did you want to change now that we've landed? There's a good chance that there could be paparazzi when we get off the plane."

"Sure, I'll just throw on a dress or something." **She gives me a quick kiss and then goes to the bathroom really quick to change. I grab a fresh polo out of my carry on and shirt from yesterday and put the green polo on along with a pair of khaki shorts.**

**About five minutes later Ally comes out looking refreshed. She's wearing a yellow sundress and rocking a pair of black wedges with gold accents on it. She walks over to me, and for a moment I forget how to speak,** "Like what you see, Tiger?" **She gives me a kiss on the cheek and I grab her carry on, we begin to exit the plane. Jess and Dez are right behind us, actually he's right behind Ally right now. I watch as he hugs her from behind, I feel my chest begin to tighten. Jess punches me in the arm, gives me the** _you need to relax _look. **The funny thing is between my cousin and I we can communicate without actually speaking. I just look at her, it's like she knows what I'm thinking. So she shoots me back the** _Oh my God, you're serious about Ally. Alright, I'll do some re-con and see what you're up against when it comes to Dez._ **As we're about to get off the private jet, I see Ally laughing at something Dez said and it makes me wish that I was the one making her do that. Jess nudges me,** _Just focus on Ally. I woke up last night and saw that you guys weren't in your seats so you were obviously with her. Trust in your connection with her Logan._

**We're going to be staying in Copacabana. As we step off the jet the first thing that catches my eye is the Christ the Redeemer Statue and I have to say that it's one of the coolest things that I've ever seen. We take a car over to the hotel, once we're there and up and close to our rooms I grab Ally and tell her to get changed into a bikini while I go to my own room and change into a pair of neon green swim trunks. While I'm getting ready I try to push all of my thoughts aside of Austin and Ally, Dez and Ally and decide that I'm going to just focus on her, on us.**

**I go back over to her room, she opens the door and reveals this black bikini top with gold sequins on it and it pushed her already amazing cleavage up even more. While checking out her top I've also noticed that there are little cutouts that look like keyholes at the part where she would bring the strings up to tie her top along with a bow in the front. She also has tiny string bikini bottom, with her cheeks that are hanging out just enough and it's not a secret that Ally's ass is very tight and toned. Her hair is in a side braid with what I've heard and been corrected that those side pieces of hair hanging are called tendrils, of course Jess is the one that told me that. Who else would? Her face is just flawless, I take the time to notice that she has really long lashes and that her cheek structure is what most women would envy. You see Ally..she's a natural beauty. I take her hand and pull her back to the room, I swear I so badly want to take her right here and right now. She just looks so damn fine.** "Where are we?" **I put my finger to her lips,** "We're going on our first official date. But, I have to do something first."** She jumps up into my arms and I carry her a few feet so her back is up against the wall. I run my hands all up and down her body, get her as close to me as physically possible. Our faces are just inches away from each other, I feel my heart start to go absolutely crazy, this is what I mean by when I said that she makes me feel alive.** "Really?" **She smiles and I can't hold myself back anymore, I start to kiss her with as much passion that's physically possible and then soften the kisses to become sweeter and more sensual as well. When we pull away Ally grabs a little sheer cover up and wraps it around her waist.** "Mmm woman, you're killing me here. You just look so good."** I put my hand over my heart and pretend to look exasperated. She smirks,** "Aw what's the matter Tiger? You can't take the heat." **She throws a wink at me over her shoulder and grabs my hand.** "Oh you're going to pay for that smart-ass comment later." **She challenges me,** "I'd like to see you try Carter. You're as harmless as a baby lamb."** I laugh back at her because I mean I can't believe she said it, but honestly I love that we can tease and be playful with each other.** "Definitely am not."

* * *

**We walk hand in hand with our towels with her beach bag over her left shoulder, straight down to the beach which isn't far from our hotel. Once we reach the sand we see a lot of speedo's on men, a lot of women in bikini's as well, but thong bottoms and truthfully the only ass I want to see is the woman's hand that I have intertwined with mine right now. So, I don't even bother looking at them and just turn and smile at Ally while she smiles back at me. We find a spot on the beach and put our stuff down, lay out our decently sized towels. I walk so I'm standing right behind her.** " Where's your suntan lotion? I don't want you to burn that perfect." **I pause, kiss her shoulder,** "porcelain skin of yours." **I feel her shiver at my touch, but only because I know that her skin ignites when I touch her. The reason I know this is because as she touches my arm I feel the exact same thing that she does. I take the sunscreen and put it in my hand and start to rub it all over her back and I feel her relax into my touch.** _Yes, she's relaxed when she's with me._** I start to envision myself doing back flips in my head, start to massage her upper back as I rub the lotion in.** "I do tan you know. Wow, that feels really good." **I huskily whisper into her ear,** "You like my nice and strong hands on you?" **I ask her, she turns her head and just looks at me with those big brown beautiful eyes that I honestly wouldn't mind staring into for the long run. I finish rubbing the lotion all over her insanely sick looking and toned body and right now nothing would make me happier than to cool off in the ocean with her. As we look to the water we see that it's a cool turquoise and crystal clear. I stand up while Ally's propped up on her elbows on her towl and smirk at her.** "No, no, no, no. Don't even think about it." **I pull her up and pick her up bridal style and run her out into the water and she's laughing, we're just enjoying being in each other's company. I drop to my ass in the water and submerge us both instead of just dropping her in the water. While we're under I open my eyes and take the opportunity to kiss her underwater. I've never done that before with anyone, and Ally's well special so it just felt right. We re-surface and come out of the water, the water glistening on our bodies as we intertwine our hands and walk to a more secluded part of the beach where there are these massive rocks with the sun shining brightly in the sky.** "I'm having so much fun with you, Logan. I really needed this, to just relax and feel at ease with everything that has been going on. " **I send her a huge grin,** "I am too. I'm just happy whenever I'm with you." **She starts to blush,** "I really like it when your cheeks get red. It shows me that you're feeling me too." **Now that we're in the more secluded part of the beach I feel like it's just us, no stress, no worries, best of all no distractions. We've been at the beach for a couple of hours and we really need to get back and start rehearsing for our concert soon. I can tell that it's about two in the afternoon based on where the sun is in the sky and know that we'll have to leave soon.** "Hey Al, we're going to have to leave soon, but there's something that's been on my mind." **She starts to fidget indicating that she's nervous, I've noticed that she's burying her toes in the sand.** "A couple of years ago. I was well with someone. We were engaged to be married and she passed away before we actually did. Her name was Tracey and she was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis. I really cared about her a lot, before you ask yes I did love her, but that's all in the past. I don't want to keep anything from you, so this is just one of the things that I was keeping quiet about for now." **She processes what I've just told her,** "You were going to marry her?"** I look at her, say**, "Yes Ally, you see she was my songwriter. A whole lot of stuff happened before she was sick though. She went and met with another musician and left me, she left me for another guy without any real explanation. I didn't know that she was sick, but I found out when her sister had texted me. She said that the guy Tracey left me for just completely abandoned her when she was diagnosed.I went to see her and well we ended up getting back together because I still loved her. She wanted to get married before she passed away, and I wanted to grant her that wish so I proposed to her. I didn't get to marry her though because a week later she passed away, but only as a fiancee. I beat myself up constantly over that and felt like I failed her. Anyways, I think I have an idea of what's going on with you and Austin. I think, but don't know for sure and I need you to tell me and confirm my thoughts." **She sighs and wraps her arms around me and squeezes my body,** "Oh Logan, I'm so sorry. I had no idea that there was a girl. I mean I guess that I should have assumed that, but wow." **I interrupt her for a second,** "Ally, please don't be upset with me for not telling you about Tracey sooner it's just I rarely open up to people about that and I'm scared." **She looks up and gives me a comforting smile showing me that she's happy that I told her, I feel a wave of relief was over me momentarily.** "Is that why you act like a ladies man, or well did." I shamefully respond back, "Yes, I just thought that if I was with other women I wouldn't feel horrible and I wanted to feel something, but none of those women made me feel anything." **She looks at me shocked, "**I mean it, Ally. I only feel something when I'm with you." **She thinks and I can tell that she's about to tell me something in regards to her and Austin, "**Okay, I'll tell you why I left Austin behind. The news about Austin having me fired as his songwriter is true, he found another 'so-called bimbo of a songwriter'. I was blindsided, he gave me no indication whatsoever that he was unhappy with my songwriting. He just took me for granted when the only thing I ever really wanted to do was make him happy and love him, but I was never enough. There have been endless girls and I was stupid enough to think that he'd actually ever commit to me. I honestly don't even know if he ever really loved me." **She starts to frown and looks like she wants to cry, but refuses to do so. She continues, **"I thought that I deserved to be loved because I was always by his side, I was always the one that was faithful and loyal to him and our partnership. He just threw it all away."

_Wow, he really is an insensitive guy because I'm pretty sure that they were 'partners' for a really long time._

"I knew that something big had to have happened in order for you to just drop him like that." **She looks at me,** "What about you Logan? You were going to marry that girl. How do I know that you're not still hung up on her?" **I caress her face and look into her eyes,** "She's no longer here on earth. I'm telling you the truth and I feel myself getting stronger feelings for you. Ally, are you still in love with Austin?" **It kills me to ask her this, but I might as well prepare myself,** "Yes. I am, but sometimes being in love with someone just isn't enough. I'm tired of being upset about Austin all of the time. I don't even want to talk about him right now. Why are you so curious, are you seriously worried about Austin?" **I sigh, I better tell her.** "Ally, were you texting Austin last night?"** She looks down and buries her feet in the sand once more.** "Yes." **She says simply, I feel the jealousy start to grow God damn it why does everything have to be so complicated.** "When you were sleeping last night, I heard your phone vibrate and I watched it light up and saw the very last text that he sent you."** She looks shocked, but not betrayed in any sort of way,** "You saw that?"** I just nod my head,** "How do you feel about that?" **I ask her,** " Logan, Austin says a lot of things but very rarely backs them up." **She touches my face and I look at her with sorrowful eyes and concern etched on my face.** "I'm sorry babe it's just-" **She cuts me off with a kiss one that reassures me that she feels something for me too. **"I'm here with you and he's thousands of miles away." **I kiss her back, and try to shake off the feeling that I have right now, let her reassuring kiss make me feel a little more at ease.** "I want to be the one to make you happy." **She smiles her angelic smile at me and my heart starts to beat faster, I've never felt like this with anyone before.** "Come on, we better head back." **She takes my hand and I just scoop her up, and I walk us back towards our stuff. I have noticed that there are people pointing to us and flashes going off, hoping that it's only our fans taking pictures of us. I hear a woman in her mid thirties say,** "Look at that couple, they're really just so cute." **I pretend that I don't hear anything and look into Ally's eyes and notice that her smile is reaching past her lips and her eyes are shining when she's looking into mine.** _Wow, now that's something for sure._** I put her down and she immediately whimpers at the loss of contact between our bodies where her arms were once snaked around my neck, I'm not going to lie I immediately felt cold without us so close. We fold our towels and walk back on up the beach and straight into the hotel.**

* * *

A/N: Finally a chapter that I'm happy with! It's just over 4K words whoa! SO, what did you guys think of Logan's POV?

Their beach date?

The two of them continuing to open up even further to each other?

How do you think the two of them are feeling about each other?


	27. Heated Encounter

**Wow, guys I'm seriously on a roll with writing I think this is the fifth chapter written and posted within a few days. Enjoy it while it lasts, and as you can tell I'm just really starting to get into the story. Thanks for the reviews! xo**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I'm starting to get ready for my first concert in Brazil. I have already showered and dried my hair and straightened it, just standing here with a soft white towel wrapped around my body. I hear a knock on my door and make sure that my towel is secure around my body before going to open it.**

"Hi Dez."

"Hey Al. I, uh want to talk to you."

**I let him walk through the door and then close it. He looks around my suite,** "Where's Logan?"

**I shrug,** "He's in his room showering and probably getting changed."

**He scowls at my answer.** "Ally, I told you that I'm in love with you and yet I know for a fact that you've been spending time with him."

"Are you jealous? Dez, the two of us, you and I it's just complicated."

"Yes I'm fucking jealous." **He spits out and there's fire behind his eyes and Logan's name alone I swear sent him over the edge.**

_Whoa I didn't actually expect him to flat out admit that._

"Damn it, Ally. Don't you think that I know that? I know we're complicated, but that doesn't mean that-" **I interrupt him.**

"Then why are you acting like this?" **I fire back at him. This is just fucking great now we're arguing. We've been fighting a lot more often lately.**

"Because this fucking sucks. I don't want anyone else."

"Dez." **I begin to feel the strain on my vocal chords.**

"It hurts Al, I'm supposed to be one of your best friends and you don't even spend time with me. Its been all about Logan. Listen, I know that you have a connection with him, but don't you feel something for me as well?" **I can see the pleading in his eyes, I see hurt. Fuck, I don't want to hurt him I value our friendship. I've flat out been honest with both Dez and Logan so I guess I'll just have to keep sounding like a broken record until they understand.**

"I do."

" I don't understand what I have to do to get you to pay attention to me, not to him. I mean at least he's a nice guy and he treats you right, but still."

"I need to get dressed we have to leave in an hour. Would you mind handing me my clothes for the concert?"

**He brings the strapless bra, thong, tight red satin dress over to me. I drape my dress over the chair by it's hanger. I grab my sheer black thong and slide it on underneath my towel, bend over towards my bed to grab the nude color plunge style strapless bra. The next thing I know Dez is unwrapping my body from the towel and starts to feel up my chest and I moan in pleasure while trying to contain myself.** "I want you, Ally. We have time and I want you right now." **I feel myself start to become aroused even further. He cups my ass and presses his erection into my backside at the same time. I'm about to protest, but my lady parts are winning over my mind right now and I can't fight this. **"Please stop trying to fight me on this, I know that you want me too. I can tell. I know that you're holding back, but just let it be us for once that you're thinking about and focused on."

**I turn around to face him and this time I initiate the kiss.** "You - you want me?" **He groans,** "Yes Ally, Oh God yes." **He starts suckling on my breasts causing my nipples to harden and I feel myself pool in my thong. I can't believe that Dez has this kind of effect on me too.**

_You're hot and young, what else did you expect? _

**I lie down on my back and he climbs on top of me,** "Are you sure that we should I mean because of Austin?" **He is panting heavily right now looking so intensely into my eyes,** " I want you Ally, I've always wanted you. I stayed out of his way for so long, I mean I've tried, but look at what he did. I know that you're not talking to him right now. I'm just so frustrated about everything. Him, you and him, you and Logan, hell even us."** He pulls his shirt over his head and I help him out of it. He's not as toned or defined as Logan and Austin are, but he has a really nice body nonetheless. He starts kissing down my stomach, says,** "I think that we both need some relief." **Holy fucking shit. Well, I'm not ready to have full on sex with him and I hope that's not where this is going. He pulls my thong over my legs and puts his head between them.** "Dez." **Mmm a moan escapes my mouth, I can't help it.** "That's right say my name Ally, because that really turns me on." **All of my sexual sensors are going completely haywire. He slides towards the bottom of the bed and starts to lick my velvet folds and I groan in pleasure because it just feels so good. I can't believe this is actually happening, but I've fought my desire for him somewhat for long enough. For a second I swear that he's going to go down on me, and then I feel relieved when he just starts pumping his fingers in and out of me but slowly and very sensual. He places kisses on my lower abs and focuses and is constantly hitting my g-spot after some time I climax and cum all over his hand. Since I don't want him to go down on me. I take his hands and pull him up and to the side of me. He's still in his boxers and I just pull them down slightly in order to give me better access to start rubbing my hands up and down his very erect member. He kisses me deeply and I let his tongue roll and twist all over the inside of my mouth. Even while laying on my side I take both sides and start sliding my already lotioned hands up and down his member and not quickly either because I want this to feel good for him. It's all in the wrists, I take the left hand and start to gently squeeze his balls and he moans out in pleasure, I can tell that he's going to cum at any second. Just as predicted he points it downward so it's downward on the sheets, even though I had said that it was okay if he wanted to on my stomach and that I could easily clean it up. He leans down and kisses me chastely, pulls his boxers up and goes to my bathroom to clean himself up while I get up and off the bed and slide my black thong back on**_**.**_

_ I'm single, so there's nothing wrong with what I just did with him. I'm not exclusive with anyone and it's not like I had full on sex with Austin's best friend, besides he's my friend too. _

**I look into the mirror and start to apply my makeup hastily, a eyes a smokey dark grey color and little darker than usual and then put on a light pink lip gloss. At some point Dez must have come out of the bathroom because he's already dressed now and brings my strapless and dress over to me from the chair. I'm topless and he leans down to put his hands around me and to put my strapless on while I finish applying my makeup and fastens the three hooks in the back to secure it. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and my face starts to burn and tingle. I gratefully take my dress from him and step into it. It's a red strapless low cut dress that I'm not completely spilling out of and it's got a huge slit in the front where my leg is going to be exposed. At the top of the bodice of my dress there are cut outs on the side, but it's very easy for me to just pull my dress a little lower to cover my strapless bra. The dress is shorter in the front ant only slightly longer in the back. I pull the side zipper up to where it's supposed to secure me and I'm finally in and secure in my dress.**

**I run a brush through my hair one last time and grab a pair of sparkly black strappy heels.** "Dez what we did before that was well, great. But, I'm going to remain adamant about not wanting to be exclusive with anyone either you or Logan. I don't want you to think that I'm taking advantage of you because I wasn't expecting this. You're my friend. I care about you, yes I'm attracted to you. I just don't want you to be heartbroken because I can't and don't know how else to really reciprocate your feelings. It's honestly really hard for me to, so to be clear I am not in any shape or form leading you on. Are we clear?"

**He speaks up in a loud enough whisper so I can hear him while blowing gently on my ear, "**I know that it is what it is. I just really want you to spend time with me too. I know that you say that you're not exclusive with Logan, but you're with him way more than you are with me. I'm okay with whatever we're doing. I swear. I ultimately just want you to be happy. I don't care if it's with myself, Austin or even Logan. We're good. We're more than friends, just not together. I get it. Okay?" **I kiss his cheek, he pulls me in for a hug.** "You look great, you're going to wow the crowd tonight at this concert. I just know it."** And then we walk out of my room together. He has his hand on the small of my back, I can tell that he's so much more relaxed.**

**Then again so can...**

* * *

A/N: Looks like Dez finally got some time with Ally.

**Who's just outside the door?**

Okay to clear some things up. Ally is confused but at least she's very honest with Logan and Dez as to how she's feeling. Both Logan and Dez are seemingly okay with whatever it is that they're doing physically, but it's more than that. She has a connection with both, Dez is her friend and for obvious reasons she's at least somewhat battling what to do about him. As for Logan, he's less complicated, he's sweet and is exactly what Ally needs right now but while she's hesitant she's more open to the idea of being with him, but keeping him at arms length if that makes sense. But guys, I wouldn't count Dez out just yet. Now, while she loves Austin she's in **no way** cheating on him. If anything, it's pretty evident and I think that someone asked me if Ally cares about Austin, the answer is ABSOLUTELY yes. Here's the thing she cares, but other than the text conversation with him she doesn't want to show him that she does. It's not a game in any way, it's simply Ally trying to guard her heart from anymore damage. Anyone who has ever been hurt by an ex like she has would understand this. Where you love them so much, but at the same time you just can't trust them and don't necessarily want to be with them at the moment. Ally's single, so Ally's going to do whatever she wants and be with whoever she wants until and if she decides to become exclusive with any of the three guys currently chasing after her.

Okay, so we're good? LOVE YOU GUYS! XO


	28. Massive Blowout: Rio de Janeiro

**Okay, pretty sure that this is the final update for the night, but I am honestly not sure just yet. Anyways, this was very very very hard for me to write and things are about to get really ugly really quick.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**Then again so can...**

Logan.

**He looks between Dez and I and while my hair and makeup look perfect, Dez's hair looks kind of unruly as if he just had sex, but we didn't so I'm sure that this looks bad really bad. I keep saying the Hail Mary prayer over and over again, but really there's no point. Dez and I might as well have been caught in the act from the look on Logan's face. I didn't think that he'd be standing there, but I should have known better.**

**He's standing literally outside the door, he looks just absolutely heartbroken.** _Oh my God! How long has he been there?_

"Logan, we can explain."

**He says absolutely nothing at first, I'm sure that it doesn't help that Dez smirks at him. I touch his arm, he recoils at my touch and refuses to look at me.** "Tell me what happened, Ally. Did you sleep with Dez?"

"No." **I say sounding very short with him upset that he just assumed that I did.**

"But you fooled around with him?"

**I don't say anything and nod my head,** "What did you guys do?" **He asks me and I can see that his eyes are starting to look glassy.**

**Dez decides to answer, "**I fingered her and she gave me a hand job."

**He blinks in disbelief,** "You son of a bitch! I didn't need the graphic detail especially with how I feel about her." **He yells and Logan just completely flips the fuck out, sucker punches Dez and knocks him out cold.**

"Logan. What was that? I told you that I don't like violence." **He looks like he's about to explode, he's just as scary as Austin is when he's this angry.****  
**

"What was that?! WHAT WAS THAT ALLY?! I know that we're not exclusive, but how in the fuck am I supposed to feel with you being with other guys and doing things with Dez? Is this the first occurrence?"

"I don't. Of that?" **Referring to Dez and I hooking up,**"Yes."** I manage to stutter out.**

"A few days ago you know the day when we were leaving Ireland when you came out into the hallway looking flushed. Did something happen between you then too?"

"He had me pushed up against the wall, and yes we made out but that's all we did then."

"I've heard enough. I told you. I told you that I was scared, here I was worrying more about you going back to Austin when you just fucking hooked up with Dez. He's the one that I really should have been worried about since he's right here and all." **His eyes are watering and he blinks them back and remains strong.**

* * *

**What the fuck hav****e I done?**

_Imagine how much worse it would be if you actually slept with Dez._

* * *

**At some point Jess comes into the hallway,** "Guys, what is all this screaming?" **He looks at Jess with his hand balled in a fist and starts flipping out again.**

"Ally just fucking might as well have had sex with Dez that's what just happened!" **Jess looks at me, then Logan and then Dez and immediately sees that whatever we're yelling about must be really really bad. Yet I can see that she's still really confused.**

"Uh, Logan. Dez is unconscious. Oh my god, did you hit him? You know that you shouldn't because of your background and what you're capable of."

"Logan, what is she talking about?" **There's edge to my voice when I remember that earlier he had said that there were other things that he wanted to tell me but just not yet.**

"Jess, tell me. I need to know what he's keeping from me."

"Don't you dare Jess, your loyalty lies with me. I'm family, Ally's just your friend."

"Don't take your anger out on Jess. She doesn't deserve your wrath. It's me that you're angry at and obviously Dez, but probably more-so me."

"You know what, I'm sorry Jess." **He pauses and looks at her apologetically,** "Ally's right I'm beyond fucking livid with her right now, I'm not dragging you into the middle of this. Now, how about you give me some more answers Ally. Are you going to fucking tell me that you did it because you feel something for him and/or to put the icing on the cake let me venture to guess that Dez is in love with you?"

**I don't even respond, Dez is now conscious and must have heard what Logan said,** "I do and yes I'm in love with her."

"You have got to be fucking kidding me. I should have known. I should have known that he was acting more as a protective best friend. God fucking damn it, and here I thought we had an actual and real connection." **He throws his hands up in the air wildly.**

"Logan, stop you're scaring me."

"I'm leaving and going to the venue now." **He walks away leaving Jess and I standing there to help Dez up.**

"Guys I have to try to go talk to him. You understand right?" **Jess just nods her head and Dez feels guilty looking like he's beating himself up when I'm just as much at fault here.**

"LOGAN!" **He keeps walking and doesn't turn around once. I finally catch up to him and put myself directly in front of him. **"Logan, we have to talk about this."

"Ally, I have nothing to say to you right now."

**I manage to find the words to choke out,** "Please Logan."

"I've said what I needed to say and I don't want to say anything I might regret, so I'm just going to go."

**He calls for a taxi, just leaves me standing there completely in tears right in front of the elevator. Thank God I have false eyelashes on and waterproof mascara and I'm just hoping that it doesn't smudge. I can't say that I blame him though. I'm just so confused or I was. I am attracted to Dez, but realistically I just can't date him. It's not right and I know that I'm going to have to tell him at some point and hope that he understands because he said that he just wants me to be happy.**

* * *

**Logan's POV**

**I'm in the back of the taxi on my way to the venue where all of my stuff already is for the concert. I left her and walked into the elevator and she was crying, and I don't even know why. Was it guilt? Was it because she genuinely cares? There's no way that she feels the way that I do, at least that's how I feel right now.**

**I can't believe that Ally was with Dez, and he made her and ugh! I don't even want to let my mind take me there right now. I'm so angry at myself and I feel so stupid. I just opened up to her about what happened with Tracey and I told her that I was scared. I don't even know what to think or how to feel. I had all of these special plans for Ally and I while we're here and I just don't know. One thing's for sure, my last song that I open with I'm bringing her on stage and I'll have her sing it with me. I mean I know that we're not exclusive but you would think after all of the shit Austin put her through with Piper she wouldn't put someone else through this.**

**The cab driver pulls up to the venue, I pay him and get out. My phone starts to ring, it's Jess. I pick up on the second ring, **

"Hi Jess."

"Logan, are you at the venue already?"

"Yes, I am. I'm going to rehearse or something backstage."

"Logan, Ally's falling apart right now. I just had to re-do her foundation and blush."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"Will you talk to her?" **She's got this certain tone, the one that she uses when she wants me to concede and give in to whatever it is that she wants me to do.**

"No, not right now I'm not. I can't even to put into words."

"I know Logan. You don't have to tell me because I saw it in your eyes and the devastation behind them. You rarely get upset unless."

**I cut her off, **"You have no idea what you're talking about."

**She gives me something in between a smirk and like she feels bad for me,** "Oh, I think I do which is why you're acting so on edge right now."

"Jess, I'm not talking about this right now."

"Are you still singing that particular song tonight?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure? And you still want her on stage with you?"

"Yes and yes."

**I don't even know what I'm thinking at this point honestly, if anything at all.**

"Alright, well I'm going to try to put Ally back together and then we'll head over there and be there in a half hour or so. I honestly have no idea how long she's going to be upset."

"I honestly don't see why she's so upset that I'm not talking to her right now, but whatever I'll see you when you arrive." **I then hang up on the phone and start rehearsing for the concert.**

* * *

**Thirty Minutes Later**

**Jess, Ally and Dez arrive and I notice that I gave Dez a real shiner and he has a pack of ice on his eye. Jess walks up to me, meanwhile Ally and Dez just stay talking in the corner to each other. I guess she's just trying to keep her distance because she knows that I'm really agitated at the moment with her.**

"Are you calmer now?" **Jess asks me and there's worry in her voice.**

"Honestly, no."** I look down at my feet and avoid eye contact with her.**

"Logan. We really should talk about what it is your feeling. I don't want you flying off the handle again."

"Jess, no. I just want to do the opening act. When I'm finished I'm leaving and going back to our hotel." **She sighs,** "Well you're on in five minutes."

**I still haven't talked to Ally yet and I need to pull it together. I need to be professional. I need to be able to perform successfully on stage and whatever emotion I'm feeling I'll just put it all into the songs I'm singing. I take the stage and perform **_Not A Bad Thing_** but while performing there's pain clearly evident while I'm singing and there's girls in the audience actually crying.**

_And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are_  
_And every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me_

_Cause I know that's a good place to start_

_I know people make promises all the time_  
_Then they turn right around and break them_  
_Then someone cuts your heart open with a knife_  
_Now you're bleeding_

**I go on to sing the rest of the song focusing solely on the audience and not even bother to look to see if Ally's watching or even listening to my set. Right now, I honestly really don't care if she is or not.**

* * *

_Who do you think you're kidding?_

**It feels like my heart is bleeding right now.**

* * *

**I finish singing **_Not A Bad Thing, _**proceed to go onto the next. I can't believe that I've already been on stage for ten minutes already. I'm nervous because it's time to bring Ally onto stage. When I finish the song I bring Ally on stage. She comes out with a smile on her face, but I can tell that it's forced. She doesn't look like she's been crying.**

_That's probably because Jess probably had her put red eye relief eye drops in her eyes._

"Alright guys so Ally and I here are going to sing a duet. I hope you guys are ready and that you enjoy it."

**I don't look at Ally, but made it clear to Jess that Ally needed to have these lyrics memorized by the time I brought her on stage tonight. On her sheet paper that Jess would've shown her. My vocals are the bold italics whereas hers are just in italics alone, when it comes to the chorus we pretty much split it and then end up harmonizing together. Once again I'm standing in the middle of the stage with my guitar and there's orange and a dark green lighting in the background. Ally is standing at her mic stand on the side of me.**

Neon Trees: "Sleeping With A Friend"

_**All my friends, they're different people**_

_**Anxious like the ocean in a storm**_

_**When we go out, yeah, we're electric**_

_**Coursing through our bodies 'til we're one**_

I feel the electricity course through my veins when we're together and her lips are on mine, I want to look at her, but I just can't right now.

_**And why mess up a good thing, baby?**_

_**It's a risk to even fall in love**_

Still refusing to look at her and singing the previous lyrics to the audience with a force fueled in my voice.

_**So, when you give that look to me**_

_**I better look back carefully**_

_**'Cause this is trouble, yeah this is trouble**_

Those lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. She's hung up on Austin, yet she's intimate with me and she has been fucking around with Dez at the same time.

_I said ooh, ooh_

_You got me in the mood, mood_

_**I'm scared**_

_**But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end**_

_**I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger**_

_**Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend**_

_**All my friends, stay up past midnight**_

_**Looking for the thing to fill the void**_

It's the truth all of my friends are just out looking to get laid late at night, I'm not going to lie. I definitely wasn't a complete angel in the past.

_**I don't go out much like I used to**_

_**Something 'bout the strangers and the noise**_

_**(Logan & Ally)**_

**And why leave when I got you, baby?**

**It's a risk but babe, I need the thrill**

As I sing this line I turn to her and she turns to look at me, our eyes lock while I sing that verse directly to her, only her. The crowd starts to go crazy because it's the first time that I've actually looked at Ally since before the song even started. We're harmonizing and singing this part together.

**I never said you'd be easy**

**But if it was all up to me**

**I'd be no trouble, hey, we're in trouble**

_I said ooh, ooh_

_You got me in the mood, mood_

_**I'm scared**_

_**But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end**_

_**I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger**_

_**Sleeping with a friend, sleeping with a friend**_

_**(Logan & Ally)**_

**We are both young, hot-blooded people**

**We don't wanna die alone**

**Two become one, it could be lethal**

Yeah, no kidding.

**Sleeping with a friend**

**All my friends**

_All my friends_

**All my friends**

_All my friends_

_I said ooh, ooh_

_You got me in the mood, mood_

_**I'm scared**_

_**But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end**_

_**I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger**_

_**Sleeping with a friend**_

_(All my friends) Sleeping with a friend_

(All my friends)

_**If my heart's gonna break before the night will end**_

_**I said, ooh, ooh we're in danger**_

_**Sleeping with a friend**_

**Ally and I finish the song and I let her take over and start her concert. I smile and wave to the crowd, briefly bow and walk off the stage. I grab my guitar and decide as promised that I need to not be here and just leave and go back to the hotel.**

"Logan, where are you going?"

**I turn to see that it's Dez and not Jess inquiring.** "What's it to you?"

"I'm sorry man. I wasn't expecting you to be outside the door, but I do have feelings for her."

_He's just making everything so much worse. _"Yeah, not just any feelings you fucking love her."

"Please don't give me another black eye. Why are you so jacked up about this? She left my side to go after you, shouldn't that say something to you?" **He inquires and I push right past him.** "Enjoy Ally's concert. I'm going back to the hotel."

* * *

**A/N: I'm not even kidding you guys I was crying while typing this chapter.**

**What the hell is up with Logan? Why is he acting like he is right now? What do you guys think is going on with Logan? What the heck was Jess trying to say but he kept cutting her off? **

**Looks like Ally might not have to say something to Dez after all, that he may have realized it on his own. Don't worry guys Dez is okay, he's just gotta figure everything out.**

**Dear Logan: I'm so sorry baeeeee! I just want to hug you.**


	29. Concert: Hurt and Confused as Fuck

**Disclaimer: Ya de-ya da. I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either. **

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**Logan just walked off stage, it's time for me to start my concert. He pretty much refused to look at me even though he wanted to sing this duet with him. I don't get it, I mean I do, but I don't. I really want him to talk to him. Maybe he'll talk to me after the concert? I noticed that when he was singing _Not A Bad Thing _he seemed really hurt and I heard the pain in his voice from the very beginning to the very end of it while I was listening to him sing from back stage. It was as if he was really feeling the lyrics to the song, but at the same time wishing that he didn't. I just don't know. I kick off and open my concert with my latest single** _Really Don't Care_** and while the lyrics apply to Austin, at the same time they don't. And then I have Logan here and he's acting indifferent and like he doesn't care about me or any of this at all. Funny how the shoe is on the other foot. He sang one other song, but I'm not sure which one because I just became so lost in my thoughts. The next thing I know, Jess is asking me if I've memorized the lyrics for my part of the duet that I didn't even know he wanted to do until he had already left me at the hotel.**

* * *

**Thirty Minutes Earlier**

**When we were still at the hotel, I remember asking Jess or rather stating in a questioning tone,** "This is the duet that he wants to sing with me?"

**She didn't say much, in fact, she didn't say anything at all.** "I'm not getting in the middle of whatever is going on with you two. He's my cousin, you're my friend..it's up to you guys if you decide to work things out because professionally we'll be together for about another four months at least. Then, you'll have a mini break and we'll pick up right where we left off."

**When Logan left, Jess had gotten Dez some ice and repeatedly said that he was sorry over and over again, that Logan shouldn't have found out that Dez and I were together the way that he did.** "I'm so sorry Al. I'll talk to him."

**I tried to convince him otherwise by saying,** "And leave you with another shiner? No, Dez. I know that he's mad at you, but I think that he's more upset with me than anything else. I need to figure this out." **While Dez and I are are talking, Jess is multi-tasking, fixing my makeup and finishing her conversation up with Logan on the other line. I only heard Jess's end of the conversation, had no idea what he was saying to her. She hangs up her phone, in every city we have a particular chauffeur bring us to the venue wherever the concert is. Logan should be in the car with is, but he went to the venue in a taxi without the rest of us.**

* * *

**Back to the Concert**

**I've performed four other songs already and I've got so much energy. I love being on stage and getting just so into my music and whatever it is that I'm singing.**

**I finish the previous song speak to introduce it to the audience. "**Okay, so this next song is called _Ain't It Fun _and I'm sure that this is a song that most if not all of you can relate to."

_Ain't It Fun: Paramore_

**_I don't mind_**

**_Letting you down easy but just give it time_**

**_If you don't hurt now then just wait, just wait a while_**

**_You're not the big fish in the pond no more_**

**_You are what they're feeding on_**

**_So what are you gonna do_**

**_When the world don't orbit around you? [x2]_**

When I wrote this song I was really upset that Austin was constantly being selfish and self-centered.

_Ain't it fun?_

_Living in the real world_

_Ain't it good?_

_Being all alone_

_Where you're from,_

**_You might be the one who's running things_**

**_You could ring anybody's bell and get what you want_**

**_See it's easy to ignore trouble_**

**_When you're living in a bubble_**

_So what are you gonna do_

_When the world don't orbit around you?_

_So what are you gonna do_

_When nobody wants to fool with you?_

_Ain't it fun?_

_Living in the real world_

_Ain't it good?_

_Being all alone_

_Ain't it good to be on your own?_

_Ain't it fun, you can't count on no one_

_Ain't it good to be on your own?_

_Ain't it fun, you can't count on no one_

_Ain't it fun?_

_Living in the real world_

**The fans in the venue start to get into the song and start clapping and singing along with me as they already know that the chorus is. It feels so good when fans are receptive and really enjoy your music.**

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

**_Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun? Baby, now you're one of us_**

**_Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun? Ain't it fun?_**

**_Ain't it fun?_**

_Living in the real world_

_Ain't it good? Ain't it good?_

_Being all alone_

_Don't go crying to your mama (To your mama)_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world (Don't go crying)_

_Don't go crying to your mama (To your mama)_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_Cause you're on your own in the real world (This is the real world)_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_'Cause you're on your own in the real world (This is the real world, this is the real world)_

_Don't go crying to your mama (Don't go crying)_

_'Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying to your mama_

_'Cause you're on your own in the real world_

_Don't go crying (Don't you go, don't you go crying)_

_Don't go crying (You're on your own)_

_Don't go crying (Don't go crying to your mother)_

_Don't go crying_

**I finish the song and tell the crowd that we're going to take a ten minute break and then I'll be back. The crowd disperses like they usually do and go grab some food or over to the bathrooms while I'm off the stage. I neglected to mention that Jess has brought a second outfit for me to change into so I'm a little more comfortable.**

"Jess. Have you seen Logan?"

**She ignores my question and says,** "Oh, he should be around here somewhere." **I can tell that she's avoiding answering me.**

**Dez comes into the changing room, he's about to say something but Jess kicks him.** "Oops sorry."

She apologizes to him, "As if it's not bad enough that I have a black eye." **He groans and grabs his shin.**

**She ignores what he says, turns back to me.** "Anyways, Ally you need to get changed. You can hash shit out with Logan later."

**My skin is tanned from the beach with Logan earlier and I put on my two piece outfit. It's a white halter style top, with rhinestones strategically placed around the bodice. It has a built in bra and also criss-cross cutouts where the top ties in the back exposing a good portion of my rib cage, being a true crop top. She pairs the top with a pair of hot black leather pants that bell out slightly at the bottom, but ones that I'll actually be able to dance in. I've been sweating so she runs a brush through my hair and touches up my makeup. Once I've finished putting everything on including more deodorant I walk back onto the stage to see my fans eagerly waiting.**

"Alright. Now that we've taken a short break we're going to bring things up a notch."

_Come On Over (All I Want Is You): Christina Aguilera_

Come on over, come on over baby [4x]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

_**Hey boy don't you know**_

_**I got something going on**_

_**I've got an invitation**_

_**Don't you keep me waiting all night long**_

_**I know, you know, so baby don't**_

_**Pretend you won't, keep me guessing if you**_

_**You will or you won't**_

_**Don't wanna play that game with you baby**_

_**Said listen to me**_

_**All I want is you, come over here baby**_

_All I want is you, you know you make me go crazy_

_All I want is you, now baby don't be shy_

_**You better cross the line**_

_**I'm gonna love you right**_

_**'Cause all I want is you**_

_Come on over, come on over baby [2x]_

_Ohh...yeah yeah_

**_I'm not just talking_**

**_About your sexuality (your sexuality)_**

**_But I can't help myself_**

**_When you put your hands on me_**

Where the fuck is he? I actually wanted him to watch or listen to this performance.

Ooh oh, ooh

_**It's paradise, when you and I**_

_**Get close, get tight**_

_**One on one I wanna, go all, all night**_

I wanna play that game with you baby

Listen to me

_**All I want is you, come over here baby**_

_All I want is you (oh oh), you know you make me go crazy_

_All I want is you (yeah yeah), now baby don't be shy_

_You better cross the line_

_I'm gonna love you right_

_'Cause all I want is you_

_Come on over, come on over baby [2x]_

_Ohh...yeah yeah yeah yeah_

I get into my dance moves and start to shake my ass all over the stage mainly in the center, turning my hips to the side and shaking them.

_**Don't you wanna be the one tonight**_

_**We could do exactly what you like**_

_**Don't you wanna be just you and me**_

_**We could do what comes so naturally**_

_**I got a thing for you**_

_**Got my mind made up (yeah)**_

_**And I'm serious, never been more baby**_

_**I'm sure that it's real (so sure)**_

The lyrics to my song couldn't be more true if I wanted them to be.

_**And it's right here, uh come on**_

_Come on, come on, come on, over [6x]_

_Oh oh oh, yeah yeah_

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

_You give me..._

_What a girl feels, what a girl likes_

_What a girl needs, what a girl wants_

_All...I..._

_All I want is you_

_Ohh, ohh baby_

_**All I want is you, oh you make me go crazy, oh oh (woo)**_

_**All I want is you, now baby don't be shy**_

_**You better cross the line**_

_**I'm gonna love you right**_

_'Cause all I want is you_

_Ohh, ohh, yeah..._

_All I want is you, you make me go crazy, you_

_All I want is you, now baby don't be shy_

_You better cross the line_

_I'm gonna love you right_

_'Cause all I want is you_

_Oh hey, yeah_

_**I finish the last seven songs of the concert and to save time just stayed in the same outfit change from the** Come on Over (All I Want is You) **song. **_

* * *

**Logan's POV**

**I've finally made it back to the hotel and decide to hit up the bar in the lobby. I'm sitting at the bar just drinking a Jack and coke when I'm approached by two very stunning and gorgeous looking Brazilian models with dark hair and the perfect olive color skin. I'm not going to lie I'm very much enjoying the company of these two truly stunning women.**

_But they're not Ally._

**So? I'm not with her, therefore it shouldn't matter. **

**While at the bar I'm now second Long Island Iced Tea. If I continue to drink another after this I will be completely wasted.**

_You're going to have to talk to Ally. While I currently condone liquid courage ..you can't be sloppily drunk._

**I'll deal with her when I'm ready.**

**I have each of the models on one side. I feel one caressing my inner thigh and the other is nibbling my ear. So, they're definitely looking to have a threesome. Once I finish my second LIT I drink about half of the third, I leave the bar with both girls and to the elevator. I bring them up to my room for some fun because why not. I'm single. I don't belong to anyone. **

_You keep telling yourself that._

**We take the elevator up to the tenth floor and get off and start to walk down the hallway to my room. We get off the elevator and I have the two women draped over me while we're walking. **

_This isn't a remotely good idea._

**I reach into my wallet for the key-card and open the door letting the two girls in and I follow right behind the door. ****I walk into my suite and I'm cognoscente enough to put my wallet in the safe while the models are drunk and concerned more about the champagne. ****We pop the bottle of champagne and they start to unbutton my dress shirt, pulling their dresses out so their bras are completely exposed and pour champagne down their chests. One of the models is kneeling on the bed and facing me while unbuttoning my shirt and starts to kiss down my abs, while the other is standing behind me grabbing my ass and messing up my hair.**

"You want both of us at same time?" **They're both now on the bed and starting to take my shirt off my shoulders and obviously waiting for an answer. Their accents are just so alluring.**

_I can do this. Right?_

* * *

A/N: Oh Whale! That's all I have to say at the moment.

Read & Review's are appreciated. xoxo


	30. Beyond Furious

**A/N: Okay I love you guys, I'm revising this one again because I'm not thrilled with the content, there needs to be more of it. **

**Side note: I'm beyond fucking livid that a psychotic ex who cheated on me and was abusive just contacted me after idk what feels like 40684507857 years! So, if the chapter gets even crazier than you expected, that's why. I will apologize for that in advance.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.**

* * *

**Logan's POV**

**Can I do this? I mean these two women are gorgeous but is it really going to make my heart hurt any less from seeing what I saw with her and Dez? What about the other guys, well guy, Colin? No, I can't do this. I can't be with women who I don't deeply care for, maybe I was able to do that in the past but I can't do it anymore. I don't want to be this person anymore, the guy who will just fuck for no reason when I didn't even get any pleasure out of it. As a matter of fact, I hated myself for acting that way but I didn't know what else to do and I just couldn't control myself at the time. ****Ally changed my "player" mentality the second I laid eyes on her. **** I want Ally, only Ally. She's been through enough with Austin, and I want to be a guy worth her time. I may not be exclusive with Ally, but this is just so wrong on so many levels the situation that I am now in. I can only imagine what would happen if she walked in and saw this. Two Brazilian models attempting to seduce me, while my brain fights my body betrays my actual feelings. I can only see this looking really bad. Heaven forbid. At least I didn't walk in on her and Dez doing what they were doing. Speaking of that, I feel my blood start to boil and I no longer want these models in my presence at all. I want them the fuck out of my room now. I'm currently avoiding any eye contact with them and I'm staring at the blank ceiling wishing that I had just left the bar alone and came back here to just go to sleep. I sigh extremely heavily and definitely agitated.**

**While the model in front of me me may not be the brightest crayon in the crayon box..She does appear to be rather perceptive, **"What's the matter? You no like?"

**Is that door shut? I look over to the door frame to make sure that the door to my room is shut. I mean I remember closing the door so I it should be shut. I shake my head vigorously in response to the model in front of me and as I'm about to start buttoning my shirt back up and show them the door. I hear a click signalling that the door has already been opened.**

_Please don't let that be Ally. _

_**In my heart I knew the second that I heard the click was her, I can always feel whenever she's close. **_**Someone walks through the door and I see that it's Ally holding the other hotel key to my room. When she opens it she smiles for a second when we make eye contact, then she sees the two models her smile falls and it all goes to hell.**

_Fuck._

**She walks over to the two models and yanks them off of me, one at a time. The one that had her hand on my chest just looks really confused, she launches her tiny body at her and pushes her off of the edge of the bed. While the other one who Ally just pushed into the wall is in complete shock.**

"GET THE FUCK OUT**!" She screams at the two girls, taking the models stilettos as they run towards the hotel door and throwing the heels at them.** "Girlfriend?" **They both question and look absolutely frightened, she hits one in the back of the head when she chucks it towards the door frame. The other girl is hit in the back of the leg causing her to fall flat on her face and stumbling out the door. The door is heavy enough that it completely slams itself shut. She has yet to say a single word to me, refuses to even look at me.**

"Ally."** As I say her name she looks up and it just completely crushes me the look in her eyes. She has tears in her eyes and they start to cascade down her face. **"Don't even say that it's not what it looks like, because if that were true I wouldn't be looking at you with only half of your shirt buttoned."

"So let me get this straight! You left the venue without fucking telling me? You made me do that duet with you and for what? No not for what? Why? Why that song especially when You wouldn't even fucking look at me. What the fuck was the point of that huh?"

**She takes a deep breath,** "Here I am, honestly feeling bad about what happened with Dez when I clearly shouldn't have. And that's the kicker, I didn't even fuck Dez. I could only imagine what you would have done had I actually done so, as a matter of fact...You know what I think I'll head over to his room right now."

**I look at her with fury blazing in my eyes and my heart as well,** " I don't want anyone else fucking touching you."

"Oh really? Sure could have fooled me with that since there were fucking models who might as well have stripped you fucking naked and you..yes you would've had the best fuck of your life!"

"Please just stop." **What she's saying to me might as well have killed me emotionally and I'm sure that by the tone in her voice that this is just the beginning and it's about to get a whole lot worse.**

**I start to ball my hand into a fist and clench it to my side. **"You've obviously been drinking and knowing your womanizing ways I wouldn't put it past you if you did them both at the same time. I came here to talk to you and to work things out. I even sang a song at the concert that was meant for you to hear and you weren't even there. But you know what I've realized that you're just fucking like Austin. You're no different than he is, he's a fucking womanizer and so are you."

**She turns and walks briskly away and out the door and into the hallway. I grab her by the waist and she turns around and slaps me across the face, **"Don't you dare fucking touch me! You're a hypocrite you know that?" **I interject, there are tears still streaming down her face, **"Princess." **She stares at me coldly and I know that I've just set off a ticking time bomb. **"Don't you fucking Princess me, Logan! I can't believe you! Here you are feeding me all this fucking bullshit about wanting to be with just me.I was starting to actually trust you-"

**She looks down and starts hitting me as hard as she possibly can in the chest, her voice goes down an octave.**

"Stop pretending like you care. You don't have to do that with me. We can forget everything. We can forget that you've kissed me and we slept together. You can just count me as another conquest of yours. How does that sound?"

**I take her face into my hands and she jerks out of my hands. In frustration, ****I take her by the wrists holding her firmly enough flush against my body and forcing her to look at me in the eyes, but not enough to hurt her**. "Ally, I swear I didn't even touch those girls. I didn't kiss them and I definitely didn't touch them. I couldn't. I couldn't because they weren't you. I do want to be with you just you."

**She's searching my eyes, I guess she's trying to decide if I'm being honest with her, "**Oh yeah Logan, you wanted me so fucking bad that instead of talking to me and working shit out even though we're not officially together. You bring models! That's right fucking models up to your god damn hotel room? And yet you claim that not once did you kiss or touch them. DO YOU THINK I'M THAT FUCKING STUPID?" **I don't say anything because I know that I need to think before I speak, so she just continues to talk with a lot of animosity towards me.**

"No, I'd never think that." **I say to her and then she interrupts me again.**

"What if we were together? Huh. Would you have fucking cheated on me just now?"

"Look at me." **I say to her, **" I would never cheat on you. I didn't touch them! The only person that I even want to touch in that way is you." **I can't tell if she's even listening because she's beyond fucking livid at this point.**

**She chokes out the words that I never wanted to hear, **"You're lying. I didn't expect this from you. I didn't expect you to hurt me the way that I'm hurting right now."

**I attempt to intertwine our fingers and she immediately releases,** "I don't want this. I don't want you hurting because of me. I want to be the one to make you happy." **I feel so awful that I think it's best to blink back the tears forming in my eyes.**

"Well you're batting a fucking thousand right now." **Great, she's being sarcastic and I know that I'm in the doghouse**. "Honestly, you are doing a spectacular fucking job at not breaking my heart. You know, you deserve a medal for your acting performance. You were saying that you were scared. You fed me that sob story about your fiancee that's no longer around. You said that I was the only one to make you actually feel something when that was a fucking lie."

"No, it wasn't." **She's not listening to a fucking word I'm saying.**

_Why should she? Can you blame her? _**I don't respond to my conscience**_**, **__Yeah that's what I thought._

"It obviously was a lie. I - I make one fucking error in judgment and you give Dez a black eye and refuse to speak to me for what? Four fucking hours. And you know what? I'm not going to say that Dez was a mistake, because that's a lie. I care about him, he's one of my best friends and I'm constantly battling my attraction to him. He's the only one that actually fucking loves me here! You know, I could have easily slept with him, but I couldn't. For a couple of reasons."

"Austin." **I say with irritation clearly evident in my voice.**

"While Austin was one of them. He was not the first reason that popped into my mind. You were."

* * *

**What?**

_See, you fucking idiot. I tried to tell you._

* * *

"I have feelings real feelings for you. I cared about you enough to tell Dez that it was primarily because of Austin, but that was only part of the truth. I didn't want to hurt him and I plan to tell him the truth. I value honesty Logan. I opened up to you, I told you how hurt I was when I talked about the endless list of girls Austin has gone through. I even went as far as to reassure you that he was millions of miles away and that I'm physically here with you! Then when I come to find you and want to make things right I walk in and find not one but two fucking bimbos with their hands all over you! What else are you hiding from me? Are you some sort of sick fucking sex addict?"

"No!" **I counter. I can't believe that she just said that. **

_Well, I can. You're a fucking idiot._

"Then, what is it?" **I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder and carry her back into my room. "**Answer me! I'm tired and just want to go to sleep and forget you and everyone else that's ever fucked with my head and heart."

**I can tell that she's rapidly losing her patience with me, but you know what this is really hard to talk about.** "You want me to tell you? Alright, I'll fucking tell you." **I pause, **"You remember how you asked how I knew what to do to keep you from bruising and the swelling down when Dez accidentally punched you?" **She stays silent and is still crying. **

" I was abused when I was younger about twelve or so by my asshole older cousin. He's actually my second cousin, well he and his friends thought it was funny to hit me with a crowbar and literally beat the shit out of me. They got pleasure out of my pain. I went home with black eyes, bruised ribs, pretty much any pain that they could inflict on me they did. It started off as only physical abuse, then one night a few years later I was out with my friends and we were coming back from surfing when I was jumped. My cousin and his buddies jumped me and they took a baseball bat and not only beat the shit out of me, unzipped my wet-suit and then stuck objects up and into my backside. I'm not even going to bother going into detail about that. I'm ashamed of it and when I was younger I blamed myself for it. I was going to tell someone, but that sadistic bastard said that he'd kill me if I did. So, I started taking boxing lessons and just hitting the punching bag. I trained my body and I trained so hard that I made myself physically sick sometimes tin order to toughen myself up. I had to push my body to the limit and its breaking point to become stronger. In order to be able to defend myself I had to be lean and practically all muscle to fight in an underground fight club. Basically, what it's the equivalent to would be gladiators that fight to the death, and it teaches you survival instincts in some sort of fucked up way. The fighters fight to win money. I wore a mouth guard, but I haven't lost any teeth and I've been knocked in the head one too many times."

**By the time I finish telling her she backs away from me, **"Are - are you dangerous? I really should go." **She looks terrified, oh my god she thinks that I'm actually going to physically hurt her.**

"No, I'm not. You don't have to be scared. I'm upset that you think I'd ever physically harm you. I could never do that because I'd be hurting myself. I've never killed anyone. Please just don't leave."

**She's put a good deal of distance between the two of us,"**Why? Tell me why I should listen to a word you have to say."

**God this is killing me inside,** "Because, there's something else that I need to tell you. I'm falling for you and honestly more and more each day. I adore you. I meant what I said. You're the one that I want to be with. Stay with me."

"I can't stay here tonight. I'm going back to my room." **She says and I know that there's no way that I'm gong to be able to change her mind about this.**

**I immediately understand and feeling truly ashamed and suggest to her,** "Can we talk there?"

** She sighs, looks at me and then starts to walk away,** "I think that we've done enough talking and screaming tonight."

"I don't want to lose you." **She sigh and opens my door and walks out of it. She's a door down and I run after her, putting my room key in my pocket and snatch the key to hers out of her hand and scoop her up. I hold her as closely to my body as possible and then peck her cheek and carry her to her room. I knew it was a risk that she'd start making a scene, but it was one I was willing to take. She slapped me before and really hard but I know that I deserved that. I say just loud enough for her to hear, **"I want you to be mine and only mine." **I take her key card and put it in opening the door to her hotel room. I sigh momentarily because she doesn't seem to be fighting me on talking now.**

* * *

A/N: To clarify, while at the bar and even in his room Logan **did not **once touch or kiss either of those models. Sorry to disappoint the few of you that despise him. He's not perfect, but he sure as hell isn't a heartless asshole.

Now that being said, I've been working really hard on this chapter and I'm not sure that I'm entirely thrilled with it, but we'll see.

So Logan's secret? Or secrets rather? Did anyone predict them before they were revealed?


	31. She Will Be

**I had assistance choosing the song in this chapter so creds to my friend 1baby1t for the help! xo Bae**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I left right after the concert to go make things right with Logan. Jess ended up giving me his extra hotel key which is how I got in. I was stressing out when I left the venue and I just wanted to make sure that he was okay, because I mean he had to be really upset to have left. Dez told me that he talked to Logan before he left and that's what he was trying to tell me when Jess kicked him during the mini break I took to get changed. I couldn't believe my eyes when I walked into the room and saw those two girls all over him. I was absolutely beyond furious? Wouldn't you be if a guy told you that he cares so much about you and that he only wants to be with you and then you walk in on that? Of course I was going to flip the fuck out, because that's exactly what a normal person who has real and serious feelings for the other would do. Oh God, they were obviously fucking stupid as well. I think that added insult to the injury of the heart, mine in particular and perhaps his as well, but who really knows. He was with these two girls after drinking and God I could smell the alcohol on his breath. The mixture of vodka, rum, gin and tequila on his breath and the splash of coca cola was intoxicating and I hated myself for wanting him the way that I do. I'm definitely not a saint, but obviously neither is he. I don't know what to think though. I probably said hurtful things that I should apologize for. Unfortunately, people say things that they don't mean when they're hurt. I guess I'm about to find out. We were arguing in his room, then I left and walked out into the hallway and he chased after me. He took the key-card out of my hand and picked me up bringing me to my hotel room.**

_"I don't want to lose you."_

* * *

**I've heard that guys that fight for a living are volatile and dangerous. He wouldn't hurt me right? He wouldn't physically hurt me?**

_No._

**Why?**

_It's pretty obvious why he wouldn't hurt you, but he either a. has to tell you or b. you have to figure this out on your own._

* * *

_His voice brings me back to reality when he says, "I want you to be mine and only mine."_

**He slides the key-card in the door and opens it while he's holding me bridal style currently. He walks us over to my bed and puts me down. I get up and walk over to the sliding glass door and the balcony and turn to face him.**

"Should I be afraid of you? Before becoming a musician are you telling me that you fought for a living?"

"No, it's killing me to see you like this. God, I could never hurt you. I'm crazy about you. Yes, I fought for a living. At first, it was for all of the times that my cousin and his friends brutally beat me. I needed to feel like I had control in my life. and over it. That I was no longer a victim but a fighter and a survivor. I used fighting as an outlet to get my aggression as a coping mechanism to get the emotional scarring out of my mind. Every fight that I won was a piece of me that I got back? Does that make sense?"

**I listen intently to what he's saying. He's telling me that fighting was the way of him coping and taking charge of everything that has happened to him. I don't respond to that in particular but I just nod my head in understanding.**

"How can I be sure that you won't lose control with me?" **I ask very timidly subconsciously backing away. I see that his facial expression changes from disgust with himself to worry.**

"You're just going to have to trust me. You mean so much to me, you have no idea."

"Logan." **I say in a much softer tone as seeing him worried weakens my anger. **"How am I supposed to trust you after what I just walked in on?"

"I made a mistake, a horrible mistake. We're not exclusive. I'm not your boyfriend and you are not my girlfriend so neither of us really have a say in what the other does. I hate it."

"Then, why did you tell me that you want only me? If you were so keen on the idea of having other girls in your bed to keep you warm?"

"I'm not saying that what I did was right, because it wasn't. I was so upset about you with Dez and just I wasn't thinking. I shouldn't have brought those girls up to my room. I should have known that you had wanted to talk things out and I should have listened to you when you said that. I'm sorry Ally. I'm really sorry."

**I'm still just currently standing close to the sliding glass door with my hands to my side as Logan comes over and kneels on the ground wrapping his arms around me with his head laying into my stomach.**

**He pauses and looks up at me with sorrow filled in his eyes. I don't say anything yet completely taken aback by his current position on the cold tile floor.** "When I saw you with Dez it killed me. I was more worried about you going back to Austin that I didn't consider Dez a threat to me, it turns out he was. The thought of you guys together makes my stomach churn. I can't even handle it. I punched Dez because I was furious and jealous and I swear that when I saw you guys walk out of the room with his hair completely messed up I lost control. He has touched you in ways that only I want to touch you in. He had his hands on your body, inside your body, his lips on yours and I can't help but think that he was giving you more pleasure than I was capable of. Like I was that much of a disappointment that you decided to get satisfaction elsewhere. Do you have any idea just how much that hurt?"

**I loosen his current hold on me and pull him into a standing position so he can look me in the eyes.** "Dez told me that he had told you that I left his side to go after you. Didn't that say something to you? It should have, what I don't understand is Why are you hurt? I'm the one that's hurt."

**I accidentally let a tear slip from my eye. Dez was right, in that second I chose Logan when I went after him to talk to him before the concert and he had nothing to say to me.**

"Because I thought that we had a connection." **He takes my hands and intertwines ours together and I feel electricity every time he touches me.** "You remember when you said that Dez was the only one that loves you? That's not the truth."

* * *

**Wait What?**

_Just ask him to clarify since you still aren't getting it. Don't blame me I'm tired from all of this crying._

* * *

**I step backwards but our hands are still interlocked.** "What do you mean?"

" I don't know how much clearer I can make this. Ally, I'm whipped and it honestly doesn't even bother me. You call me and you need me..I'm going to come running. I want to take care of you."

"Logan, why are you saying all of this? You don't have to say that if you don't mean it? Especially if it's not the truth."

"I do mean it. I want you to be with me. I chose _Sleeping With A Friend_, because I'm more than your friend but less than your boyfriend and that's not enough for me. I want more Ally. I've tried to keep this uncomplicated but I want you. You're the only one that makes me feel something. I know that you're scared and I'm just as scared as you are, but what we have is real and I can prove it to you. Just listen."

* * *

**I'm still pissed, but at least we're talking and not screaming at each other. ****Should I listen to him?**

_Yes, your heart and I agree on this one. So, just trust our judgment._

* * *

**I walk over to the bed and decide it's best to stop fighting with my heart and my mind since they seem to want me to. I sit down and Logan starts to sing bits and pieces of the song we sang together earlier tonight.**

_When we go out, yeah, __**we're electric**_

_**Coursing through our bodies 'til we're one**_

_And why mess up a good thing, baby?_

_**It's a risk to even fall in love**_

_**So, when you give that look to me**_

**_I better look back carefully_**

**_'Cause this is trouble, yeah this is trouble_**

_I said ooh, ooh_

_You got me in the mood, mood_

_**I'm scared**_

_**But if my heart's gonna break before the night will end**_

He then skips over lyrics and verses to this section of the song. Everything starts to register in my head and heart when I am really listening to the lyrics. He's actually singing these words to me because this is how he actually feels.

_**And why leave when I got you, baby?**_

_**It's a risk but babe, I need the thrill**_

_**I never said you'd be easy**_

_**But if it was all up to me**_

_**I'd be no trouble**_

"Don't say anything just yet. I have one more song I need you to hear that I've been working on."

* * *

_**Gotta Be You: One Direction**_

**_Girl I see it in your eyes you're disappointed_**

'_Cause I'm the foolish one that you anointed with your heart_

**_I tore it apart_**

_**And girl what a mess I made** upon your innocence_

**_And no woman in the world deserves this_**

_**But here I am asking you for one more chance**_

Wow. He can see that I'm disappointed all just by looking at me. When he gets to the part where he tore apart my heart. I see that he's torturing himself inside and then his eyes start to water. I've never seen Logan like this before. I mean I've seen him upset, but not like this.

_Can we fall one more time?_

_Stop the tape and rewind_

_**Oh, and if you walk away**_

_**I know I'll fade**_

Why would he fade away? It's almost as if...

'_**Cause there is nobody else**_

_**It's gotta be you**_

_**Only you**_

_It's got to be you_

_(Oh) Only you_

_Hey (hey)_

_**Now, girl, I hear it in your voice and how it trembles**_

_**When you speak to me I don't resemble who I was**_

_**You've almost had enough**_

_**And your actions speak louder than your words**_

_**And you're about to break from all you've heard**_

_**But don't be scared, I ain't going nowhere**_

Oh my god, this basically describes him punching Dez earlier tonight and then when he told me about the fight club how frightened I was. I recoiled from his touch almost as if he was some sort of sick twisted predator or a beast.

**_I'll be here by your side_**

**_No more fears, no more crying_**

_But if you walk away_

_I know I'll fade_

_'Cause there is nobody else_

_It's gotta be you_

_Only you_

_It's got to be you_

_Only you_

_Oh, girl,_

_**Can we try one more, one more time?**_

He's asking me for one last chance. He takes his hand and runs it from the top of my head, to the curve of my high cheekbones causing me to blush and for the first time tonight to actually smile at him. He takes his hand off my face, but never breaking eye contact with me, not even for a second.

_One more, one more?_

_Can we try one more, one more time?_

_**I'll make it better**_

_One more, one more,_

_Can we try one more, one more..._

_**Can we try one more time and make it all better?**_

_'Cause **it's gotta be you**_

_**It's gotta be you**_

_**Only you**_

_Only you_

_It's gotta be you_

_Only you_

_It's got to be you_

_(Oh) Only you_

_..._

"So its gotta be me, huh?"** I take my index finger giving him the signal to come closer to me. **

"Yes." **Logan says in response tilting my head up to show me that he's serious.**

"Any particular reason?"

"I'm in love with you. I love you Ally. I know it sounds crazy and I've tried to keep my feelings at bay, but tonight made everything that much more real for me."

* * *

**Logan just said I love you, oh my fucking god!**

_See, I told you that he was going to tell you what his 'problem' was and why he's been acting this way._

* * *

"Did you just say what I thought I just heard you say?"

"Look into my eyes and you'll see my heart staring right back at you."

**As I look into his eyes he's right I see myself in the reflection of his own. If it was possible for a human being to actually melt I swear I'd be a puddle right now.**

"I-" **I start off, he puts a finger over my lips.**

"I don't expect you to feel the same way about me. I just wanted to tell you, I didn't want there to be any more secrets between us. I can't lose you. So can we try?"

"I'm scared of how I'm feeling and the way that I feel when I'm with you. I haven't felt anything like this in so long that I don't." **He pulls me into his arms so he can hug me.**

"I want to make this right, just let me show you how much I love you. Let me prove to you that I'm being genuine and my feelings are honest and real for you."

**He just said it again, he must mean it. Logan's not the type of guy that would say something that serious if he wasn't actually feeling that way. This isn't some sort of game to him. He actually loves me. That was it, just his honesty alone broke down the walls that I had built up incredibly high.**

**We're now sitting on the bed and he's sitting right next to me. When he looks into my eyes again I see it, I see what he's been talking about. He's asking for permission to kiss me and I give him a slight yet noticeable enough nod for confirmation. He puts one hand in my hair and in the back of my head as he lays us down onto it, his other hand he has on my abs since I'm still wearing my white crop top halter from the concert, he glides his fingers all over it. I turn over on my side and he unties the back of my top. **"Let me make love to you. I want you to see and feel just how much I feel for you in every sense of the word."** He slowly takes my shirt off, leaving me in just a strapless and takes his time running his hand from the top of my neck to the curve of my ass sending shivers down my spine. He's so gentle and tender while he kisses my neck sweetly. "** I just want to kiss and worship every single inch of your body." **And he does just that.** **He raises his head to meet mine and kisses me slowly and sensually while devouring each other's hot mouths. I pull away to let him know my response to everything that he's just said. **"I want you to." **He looks at me, searching my eyes to make sure that I want this to really happen.** "Want me to?" **I know that he knows that I'm mad and upset with him, that's probably why he's so hesitant.** "Show me just how much you love me." **He unhooks my strapless bra, he takes my pants off using his teeth.** Holy fuck is this hot. **He starts by kissing my temple, my lips, each of my breasts, my abdomen, my thighs, my throbbing womanhood. When he reaches my folds I'm absolutely dripping because that's how badly I want him. He licks me in and out from the top to the bottom, I want him to go faster, but he's being so tender and loving giving and showing much care like it's the sweetest piece of butterscotch candy he's ever had. I feel the anticipation rising in me as I moan loudly, **" Logan, oh god Yes." **He doesn't say anything to my moaning, but starts to runs his free hand all over my stomach which is seriously beyond erotic and making me feel desirable, which elicits probably the most intense orgasm I've ever had absolutely fucking mind blowing. No pun intended. I reach down to bring his head back up to my own and pull him directly on top of me, but needing to feel his body on mine. I prop my arms up and start fumbling with the buckle on his pants, because I can't get them off fast enough. Our kisses are hot, absolutely and insanely fucking hot. I start by undoing the buttons on his shirt and yank his pants down and his boxers at the same time past his ankles as he completely kicks them off. I'm just about to go down on him when he says, **"No princess, I don't want you to do that until we're good and we're happy again. I need to make this up to you!" **The sense of emergency in his voice and the way he looks at me so intensely that I can't even describe it, but I know what he means and I understand that. He said that he wants to make this up to me, and literally minutes even hours ago I was hurt by him so it makes sense. We fall back onto the bed, he grabs a condom from the inside of the night table, where I keep them as well. He continues to kiss me as he rolls the condom over the tip of his penis and slides himself into me with complete ease. When he does this he's gazing into my eyes and it's clear that he's being sincere, and I believe him. When he kisses me as he slowly start starts to move in and out of me. I feel it, I can feel that he loves me. My body can feels that he loves me, the inside of my throbbing and aching velvet walls know it because he's massaging them gently while he's inside me. As he kisses me and looks into my eyes, he says it again,** "I love you, Princess." **I don't say it back to him, but rather show him when my body slowly rises and falls to meet his own thrust for thrust. Actions speak louder than words sometimes you know? But don't worry I'll get around to it.**

* * *

A/N: I hope that this was worth the wait guys. xo

Hmmm so we know how Logan feels, but what about Ally? Does this mean that they're officially going to be an item? Stay tuned to find out. :)

Read & Review if you want me to continue on with the next chapter iN the near not so distant future. :) xo


	32. Sunday Morning

**Thanks for reviewing loves! xo **

**Now, that being said I'll happily and kindly remind you that this is Ally's story where she's the main focus. I haven't forgotten about Austin I have him somewhere, but you need to please be patient and find out where he is exactly.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**I wake up and turn to see that there's rain falling hard onto the balcony. I don't think that this will last more than twenty minutes but I just like the sound of the rain against the glass. It makes me think of one song in particular, seriously I love this song by Maroon 5 and sing pieces of it in my head.**

_Sunday morning rain is falling_

_Steal some covers, share some skin_

_Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable_

_You twist to fit the mold that I am in_

**Our makeup sex last night was out of this world. Logan said I love you, now how do I feel about this? Do I love him? **

_But things just get so crazy, living life gets hard to do_

_And I would gladly hit the road, get up and go if I knew_

_That someday it would lead me back to you_

_That someday it would lead me back to you_

**Am I still in love with Austin?**

* * *

_Have you thought about Austin while you've been with Logan?_

_**Well, not really.**_

_Do you think about Austin when you're not physically with Logan? _

**Well, sometimes?**

_And who treats you better?_

**Logan. But honestly, I mean after the other night. I'm kind of concerned.**

_Oh, like how you were concerned about his feelings when you "got" with Dez so-to-speak?_

**Hey, that's not fair!**

_Well, you're acting like a bitch so at least now we're getting somewhere. You know the fact that you were upset at him for supposedly hooking up with those two models is ridiculous!_

**WHy?** _**You were there, you fucking saw what I saw. **_

_You're acting like a hypocrite for one. A guy namely Logan tells you that he's in love with you...how in the fuck could you not believe him after what he said. If he says he didn't touch them, then he didn't touch them. _

**You can't tell me that Logan wouldn't have literally ripped Dez off of my naked body if I actually had sex with Dez!**

_Well, it still was fucked up in a sense that you thought it was okay to flip a shit, granted rightfully so..seeing what we did see. But did you really think that as upset as Logan was that he wouldn't have done something like that when he's clearly single?_

_Now, as for Austin. What are you planning to do about him?_

**Well, I told him that I need space. I meant it, he was driving me up the wall literally calling every five seconds like an obsessive chick who was freaking out over everything. He can say he's sorry until he's blue in the face, but I can't just get over that in a blink of an eye.**

_Do you believe that Austin really loves you?_

**Honestly, no. Not right now, he's messed up way too much and I can't trust him. I need time away from him in order to realize who I am alone, and yet with someone else at the same time. It has always been Austin. I've had one other boyfriend besides him. I'm twenty- three and have little experience when it comes to men. **

_You want to be with Dez?_

**No Logan. As I said before I chose him when I chased after him to try and explain things. Obviously that didn't go according to plan, but I'm in bed with him right now. We made love for the first time actual love, not animalistic crazy hot makeup sex either. It was quite refreshing since I haven't had anyone make love to me like that in years.**

_Really?_

**Yeah, the last time that actually happened I was eighteen. Sad huh?**

_I would ask, but I already know who it was. Has it really been that long since you've felt __not__ objectified?_

**Yes. And I was stupid enough to keep sleeping with him. Thinking that he would get over his I want to fuck every girl possible stage.**

_Why?_

**It's just how he is with girls I guess. The endless list of girls ready to fuck him at a moments notice. My heart can't take that anymore.**

_Ally, how are you feeling right now with Logan? You're in his arms. Does it feel right?_

**I really really care about him and yes it does. I'm just scared, just like he said beyond scared. Now that I know that he is in love with me what do I do? Am I in love with Logan? I guess you could say that I'm pretty much there, but I just can't say anything to him just yet. I feel awful, but even though I haven't said it doesn't mean that I don't feel it. I mean actions do speak louder than words and my body was telling him my feelings last night when we were making love.**

_Why do you think you were so upset that he was in his hotel room with the other girls? Intoxicated, but still._

**He told me that he had feelings for me and it just didn't make sense.**

_And?_

**Seeing him and girls all over him just brought back awful memories of Austin, and Piper and the way she was all over him? And let's not forget the other bimbos.**

_So, basically. You believed Logan. Or rather you do believe Logan when he told you he didn't touch those girls?_

**Yes.**

_Well then honey you're in love. If you weren't you wouldn't have reacted the way that you did. If you didn't love him you would have told him to go fuck himself and walked out the door. You wouldn't have been willing to let him try to explain himself. You love him, what you have for him is real. _

**But, he's not Austin**.

_Honey, no one will ever be Austin. Austin's your first love. Austin has some serious issues that he needs to take care of, he has to work on himself before he can be with anyone else. Austin doesn't love himself, that's why he's constantly sleeping around. He doesn't care about your feelings, if he did he wouldn't have betrayed you in the way that he did._

**You're right, I hope that Austin took my advice. I still love Austin, but the question is am I still in love with him?**

_We can figure everything out along the way. Let yourself be happy and let someone love you who is deserving of your love. Let Logan show you how a man loves a woman, not how a boy loves a girl because you'll see a man's love will surpass anything that you ever dreamed possible. Logan had a minor lapse in judgment, but you are not his girlfriend so therefore he didn't cheat on you. Give him a chance. I'm sure that he might surprise you._

* * *

**I'm lying here in bed with my head on his chest and he's still sound asleep. I just so happen to be also lying on his six-pack as well. While he sleeps he has his left arm around my bare back with the sheet covering both of our naked bodies. **

"Babe?" **Am I hearing things?**

"Babe." **I feel Logan most likely shaking my arm slightly.**

"Oh God, my head is killing me." **He groans, I get up, and walk completely bare to the mini refrigerator and pull out a water bottle, toss him a bottle of aspirin from my suitcase. He thanks me for both.**

"Tiger, you should get in the shower. You'll probably feel much better."

**He looks at me, he looks refreshed, but he's obviously in serious mental and physical pain as there's a tent beneath the sheets on my bed standing totally erect. **"What. You're completely naked, it's the morning. I mean can't blame a guy for a not so unforeseen circumstance."

"Um, that didn't make sense, Couldn't you have just said it's not a surprise?" **He groans again in pain, I just feel so bad. I walk back over to where he's sitting on the bed trying to rub his temples to make his hangover go away.**

"Come here." **I put my back against the headboard on the bed and open my legs. **"Come sit in between them." **He does and I tell him to lay back. I start to massage his temples and the rest of his head to try to give him relief. **"What do you remember from last night?' **I ask him because honestly I'm not sure just how much that he's going to remember. **"Bits and pieces, but not everything."

**He groans in pain, I say to him**, "It's okay. Let me just give you a synopsis. You were drunk when I found you."

**He mutters**, "Shit."

**I continue**, "You weren't alone. I opened the door and you were in your room with girls."

**He sighs and tenses up a bit**. "I promise you that I didn't touch them. I remember the look on your face when you saw them touching me though. I felt like a complete dick and I didn't even touch them, but I shouldn't have let them touch me."

**I kiss his temple, **"I believe you."

**He turns his head to look at me, sit up**. "You do?"** I watch as both confusion and relief washes over his features.**

"Yes, I believe you. So, I basically blacked out on you. We were arguing and I left the room and then you.." **I point a finger into his chest while talking. **"Mr. Hyde found enough strength in your drunken state to swoop me up and carry me to my room. Where we argued more."

"I'm - "

"Let me finish the next part. Okay?" **He slowly nods his head, I continue on, **"I was wrong for flipping out on you about the models. I see that now. It was horrible for me to do that considering what I had done with Dez just before the concert." **He looks at me with hurt in his eyes, and I know I have to say this because I really do mean it. "**I'm sorry. I just was hurt because I thought that you had real feelings for me and stuff and none of this was adding up or making sense."

"Ally-"

"No Logan, let me finish." **I take a deep breath.** "You serenaded me with _Sleeping With A Friend _and then another song that you've been working on _Gotta Be You_. When did you write that?"

"I've been working on it. I had imagined what it would be like if I lost you to Dez or more likely to Austin. I was just so upset and trying to cope but it was too much to handle. So I wrote the song, I have this thing where I tend to sabotage good things in my life. I knew it was only a matter of time when and where I would mess up with you. I didn't want to mess up with you, but it happened,while I messed up after you did that stuff with Dez I should have done something other than bring girls up to the room. That wasn't right and wasn't okay, not with how I feel about you. Anyways, I remember thinking when I was in the room with said girls that I couldn't do it. I had two girls ready and willing for me to take them and I couldn't because they weren't you."

"You also told me that you loved me last night."

"Shit, I wasn't supposed to tell you that just yet. I had this whole romantic thing planned and it didn't involve me being intoxicated." **I giggle a little bit seeing how flustered he is right now, but decide to relax his nerves.**

"You were drunk, but you went on about telling me that you wanted to show me how much you love me." **I gesture to our completely bare bodies, again with his back in my chest and torso. **"You made love to me last night. Its been years since I had experienced what a person would consider making love. It was phenomenal and I felt it."

"You felt what?" **He sits a little more upright and turns his body completely around and looks me in the eyes.**

"That you love me. It's the way that you look at me and in the way our bodies collided and were interwoven in each other."

"It's the truth." **He starts to kiss me at first slow and sensually and then hot, hot, hotly. A moan escapes my mouth, he takes my** **hand pulling me off the bed and into the bathroom, grabbing something necessary on the way into it. Once we're in the spacious bathroom he starts kissing me full on my mouth and we somehow manage to get into the shower. He steps directly into the shower right behind me and turns the water on, **"Ah that's freezing!" **I yelp, he immediately switches the faucet to warm and then to hot to adjust accordingly with our bodies. **"Ah, that's much better." **He takes the washcloth and starts to wash my body, but we switch places and he stands in front of me and directly under the shower bending down and washing the curves of my ass massaging it and my legs in the process. I moan in pleasure as it just feels so good. He then moves back up to my chest and up and down my stomach holding the washcloth, but his fingers actually touching and washing my skin.**

_Fingers trace your every outline _

_Paint a picture with my hands _

**Once I'm all nice and clean since Logan's nursing a hangover I wash his body as well, using a washcloth I start at his shoulders, then soap up his delicious looking abs, I skip over him member for the meantime and then wash the front and back of his legs, then his entire back. **"I know what you're doing." **I smirk at him,** "Why whatever could you possibly mean?" **I send him a flirtatious and coy wink and finish washing his back, he stands under the shower-head to rinse off his entire body so just droplets of water cascade down his incredibly toned, muscular and basically perfect physique. I decided to stop teasing him, well not completely, but you'll see what I mean in a minute. I take the washcloth and put some more soap on it and put it over his erect member, start to massage it while cleaning the surrounding area at the same time. ****He starts to moan loudly, as the entire bathroom is filled with steam both in appearance and in the shower. I start to feel my insides pool with desire as I find it erotic listening to him moan at my touch. I continue to wash him taking his entire member in my hand going up and down turning him on even further. He says to me in a totally knee buckling sexual voice, **"I need you now." **I tell him to rinse himself off and that he's been a very bad boy and that I'm not sure that he deserves to be rewarded.** "Oh, you mean right now?" **I take his member at my entrance and in an upward and downward motion let him feel my desire so the tip of his dick is throbbing and wanting for me, at the same time making him go absolutely crazy. He rinses himself and reaches outside the sliding glass door, rolls a condom onto him and places himself at my entrance and pushes himself inside of me. **"I'm going to keep making last night up to you until you realize that I'm serious about you, about us."

_Back and forth we sway like branches in a storm _

_Change the weather still together when it ends_

* * *

**After our much needed make-up session. We get dressed, there's a knock at the door. We open it to find...**

* * *

A/N: This is only short because it's a **cliffhanger **darlings. Who's at the door? At least they're knocking right? **As I've written in the chapter this is about her finding herself without Austin and yet at the same time being with someone else. Other than Austin, Ally's only other boyfriend was Gavin. Now, this was unintentional on my part, but I have clearly referenced the situation with Piper in my other story** _I Hate That I Love You._ **Does that make this a sequel, nope it just meant I related and vocalized Ally's feelings about this. If  Austin gets Ally back it will be because I feel that his character deserves to be with her after fixing all of his serious issues. So as I'm the writer only I know how the story will end in my head so just have a little faith in me loves. **Let me know what you think! xoxo


	33. Breakeven

**You guys rock! Okay, so by the time I post this it will officially be my birthday, and it is to be exact! Thank you to my avid reviewers, for my silent readers as well. Would you guys consider reviewing and helping me reach my goal of potentially 200 reviews within the next chapter or so? It would be awesome, but If not it's totally cool. I've been working on this for a few days now and it's over 4K. I hope that it's worth the wait! Enjoy! :) **

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

**We hear a knock on the door...**

"Logan, can you get that? I need to finish my makeup."

"Sure, babe."

**I walk to the door, open it to find my cousin Jess and her hair in soft blonde waves. She looks surprised, but not. She's wearing a paisley sleeveless blouse with a pair of light wash capri jeans and sandals.** "I was coming to check on Ally. I need some serious girl time!"

"She's just finishing her makeup. Where's Dez?"** I ask her, honestly curious as they normally come knocking on the door together to come get Ally and I wherever we are.**

"He's probably still sleeping? We can go wake him up shortly."

**She puts a finger to her chin showing that she's thinking and about to say something.**

**"**So, did you guys make-up?"

**Ally and I just look at each other. I see her look down at her outfit, I decide that now is the time to check her out shamelessly. She's wearing a purple halter looking top but with it looks like a keyhole opening in the back, the tightest pair of skinny jeans I've ever seen. Lord, help me. If Jess wasn't here those clothes would be on the floor again and the beautiful goddess in my arms again and cuddling and lying in bed all day. **

**I guess Jess notices that I'm in a daze while looking at Ally suggestively, she puts two and two together,** "Oh my God! I can tell that you had make-up sex! Once?"

**I smirk, she looks at me,** "Holy shit twice! Wow you guys well at least you're getting some.." **Jess starts singing,** "Unlike myself I can't get no Satisfaction. I can't get no satisfaction."

**I roll my eyes,** "You're so freaking weird."

**She starts to laugh,"**Oh come on, don't be a dick Logan. You know that I'm your favorite cousin."

**Ally tells me to shut up and starts to sing along with Jess.**

_When I'm watchin' my TV_

_and that girl comes on to tell me_

_how tight my skirts should be_

_well she can't tell me who to be_

**Obviously the Britney Spears rendition of the song because her voice sounds incredibly sultry and fucking great. I need to stop before I get a hard-on that I can't have my lady love take care of since my cousin is right here.**

_cause I've got my own identity._

_I can't get no, oh no no no_

_I can't get no satisfaction_

"Is that so Princess? You can't get no 'satisfaction'? That's not what you were saying earlier as you cried out my name in a tsunami of ecstasy."

"HaHa, shut up." **Ally says in a mock tone, waves her finger at me.**

"Well, since you want to be mean to her...You're not getting any more action until later tonight if you're lucky from Ally."

"Jess, I didn't mean-" **She completely ignores me and takes Ally's hand and proceeds to walk her towards the door.**

"Ally let's go shopping!"

"But I want-" **I start to pout and whine hoping that Jess will cave in and let me wrap myself and Ally up into a** _little_** cocoon.**

"No, you have to share her Logan! Go spend some time with Dez, do bro things or something?"

**I hesitate in response,** "Are you sure that's a good-" **and then Ally cuts me off so I don't have to finish that thought.**

"That's a great idea!" **Ally interjects,** "You guys need to hash shit out and get along if you want me to consider us." **How did I know she would say that?**

_Shut up, you love her. When you love someone sometimes you hang out with people you might not want to and do things you don't want to do. Love is compromise and it's about putting your partner's needs before your own. Ally wants you and Dez to co-exist peacefully. MAKE IT HAPPEN!_

"Alright, I'll go do that." **I walk over to Ally and give her a kiss on her shoulder, she shivers and smiles at the same time. I look at us in the mirror, think to myself that we really do look good together. We would make a really great couple.** "How long are you stealing her for Jess?"

"Um...a couple of hours easily."

**I groan and start to pout again,** "Don't look like such a lovesick puppy. I'll bring her back to you."

**Ally grabs her purse, gives me a kiss on the cheek.** "Don't I get a kiss? A real one." **She pecks my lips.** "Nuh-uh that's not the kind that I meant." **I bring her into a hug and she wraps her arms around my back as my hands go on her waist. I pick her up so our foreheads touch and lean in to kiss her. She smiles brightly her eyes shining before I kiss her. I peck her lips twice, then request entrance to kiss her in the way I actually want to. We're interrupted with,** "Can you guys continue to make-up later?! I want to go shopping now!" **Jess whines, ****Ally and I pull away and laugh at Jess's childlike whining,** "I'll see you later, Princess. Have fun girls!"

"See you later, Tiger."

**Alright, it looks like I have a few hours to plan a really awesome date for when she gets back from shopping with Jess. **

* * *

**Jess's POV**

**We say goodbye to Logan and I noticed that he looks relieved but not just physically and perhaps emotionally. I'll have to get that out of either Ally or Logan later.**

"Ally! Come on! Let's go shopping already!"

**I take Ally by the arm and drag her down the hall, Dez comes out of his room dressed in a orange tee shirt and shorts.** "Where are you guys going?"

"Out."

"Can I come?" **He asks both of us. I feel bad, but I need some serious girl time with Ally.**

"Nope, it's just the girls today."

"But, what am I supposed to do?" **He starts to whine, man men are such pussy's.**

"Hang out with Logan!" **Ally and I both say in unison.**

"Really?" **He sounds pretty agitated and disappointed but I notice recovers with a smile.**

"Yes really. Come on Dez, maybe if you get to know Logan better you'll warm up to him." **Ally says and rushes him into a hug, knowing that Dez will give in now.**

"Alright ladies, I'll go spend time with Logan. Where is he?"

"We left him in Ally's room."

_Crap, maybe I shouldn't have said that since Dez loves her. Oh well, can't take it back now._

"Alright, well play nice and let us know how it goes." **We both say in unison, and then head to the elevator and out of the hotel to go shopping. **

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**It's late at night, I called my mom and told her to come over. She rushed over here and we're currently sitting in my living room and the last time she was hear I drank a half a bottle of Jack Daniels. She comes rushing in the door at like midnight.**

"Austin. Austin. Austin." **I hear say as she barrels into the door out of breath.**

"Mom, I have something that I need to tell you."

"Should I call your father?" **I can already hear the concern in her voice. **

"No, we can call him tomorrow morning. Now, Mom that thing I need to tell you." **I need to just get this out already and wish she would let me get a word in edgewise.**

"Go on Austin. You can tell me anything."

"Mom, tonight Trish, Jace and I were at a nightclub and I did something."

"Does this involve a girl?"

"Well, yes and no."

"Just tell me Austin." **She sounds pretty annoyed almost as if she knows where this conversation is headed. **

"Mom, I did a line of cocaine at the nightclub tonight."

**I looked at my mothers normally bright and cheery features and saw pure terror on her face.** "Mom. Mom. Mom." **She doesn't say anything for a few minutes.**

"A-Austin, how could you do that to Ally?" **She stutters out.** "As if your issue with alcohol currently wasn't enough, you added this to the list? I thought that you loved Ally and you want her back?"

"Mom, I don't know. I was just so hurt because of all this stuff with Ally and Logan."

"Let me stop you right there Austin. We've been over this. Ally's not your girlfriend, so if she is..." **She clears her throat and continues, "**I'm assuming intimate with this Logan guy then that's her prerogative. You hurt her at least a million times. You continue to hurt her even now. What in God's name Austin, I love you because you're my son, but are you ever going to learn? I know that I shouldn't know about Molly, but a long time ago Penny told me what happened. Austin, I don't even know what to do with you anymore. Drugs? Really? The drug that Ally's cousin died from too. That just takes the cake. You, there are just no words."

"Mom, please."

"No Austin. Listen to me. I'm going to assume that Ally knows about this since it's all over the internet. I was hoping that these pictures on the internet were false, I foolishly gave you the benefit of the doubt. Austin, are you really that lost without Ally that you turn to the one thing that's going to hurt her most?"

"Yes, mom. I talked to Ally. And truthfully, yeah I think that I am feeling that lost without her. We were in each other's lives for so long and I've had very little to no contact with her recently except for these." **I showed my mom the texts between Ally and I.**

"For one at least she's not screaming at you in them. Also, I can tell that she's really upset with you. She's not sure that she loves you anymore, honestly Austin I can see where she's coming from and I don't blame her for feeling the way that she's feeling. She's just at a loss of words since you pulled that shit with Starr Records, that awful bitch Piper, countless girls, while Ally, yes Ally remained loyal to you to a fault. She left because you pushed her away, that much is clear. Oh Austin. I had such high hopes for you two." **My mother frowns and starts crying, I go give her a hug.**

"I see, well this is serious. What if you become addicted to cocaine?"

"That's what I called about mom. I want to take preventative measures. I want you to bring me to a Drug Rehabilitation Center. I can't trust myself. You don't trust me and neither does anyone else. Mom, Ally doesn't believe that I love her and I miss her when I tell her. What sucks and hurts is that I really do. Mom, it hurts so much, so instead of finding positive ways to cope I turn to drugs and man-whoring so-to-speak. I've used women to cope for so long it was really easy to just fall back into bad habits. She deserves so much more from me than that. I want to get better. I want to be a better man for her."

"Alright Austin, well we can't just bring you to any Drug Rehabilitation Center. We're going to have to find one's for celebrities or ones that are very strict and confidential that none of this information is leaked. Are we going to tell Trish about this?"

"No, she doesn't want to talk to me. She's really upset with me and rightfully so. Just tell her and Jace after I'm checked into rehab."

"Okay, Austin. Are you sure that you want to do this?"

"Yes, Mom. This is the only way I will ever have a shot to get Ally back. I have to do this."

"Your father and I will support you through this Austin. How long do you intend to be there for?"

"Well at least a month. I'm not an addict like you said, but I need to understand the ramifications of what can happen if I do continue down this dangerous path."

"Mom, can you stay with me tonight? You can crash in my guest bedroom."

"Sure honey. I have a bag in the car, but we'll need to pack you first thing in the morning."

**We went upstairs to our rooms and tried to fall asleep, but the only thing I could manage to do was just lie awake staring at the ceiling and thinking of the girl/no woman I love. It's so hard being away from her. I knew that this was going to be bad, hard even but I don't think I was able to conceptualize until now just how difficult a life without Ally would be.**

* * *

**The car was packed and we head off to an exclusive and secret drug and alcohol rehabilitation center. My mother and I decided that it was best to leave my car in the driveway and every now and then she would take it out for a drive so neighbors wouldn't get suspicious in the area. The drive to the rehabilitation center was about forty-five minutes away. The song **_Clarity by Zedd _**starts to blare through the speakers of my mom's Mercedes.**

_High dive into frozen waves where the past comes back to life_

_Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time_

_Hold still right before we crash 'cause we both know how this ends_

**More flashbacks come racing into my mind. Too many and I don't even know where to start. All I know is that I'm going to find a way to get Ally back. **

_A clock ticks 'til it breaks your glass and I drown in you again_

_**I can't believe that I ever thought I was ever truly over Ally. What the fuck was I thinking? I was never over her to begin with, ever and I'm still not over her. I keep reminiscing and I feel that pang in my chest once more.**  
_

_'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need_

**She may be the piece of the puzzle that I wish I didn't need, but the truth of the matter is she's the part that makes me complete.**

_Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why_

**We have so many problems in our relationship, but mostly on my part. I need to fix this. Even now I'm chasing her relentlessly while other guys are vying for her affection. I am still fighting to make this work with her. **

_If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy?_

**That's pretty self-explanatory. I don't want our love to be a tragedy like Romeo and Juliet or even Othello and Desdemona. She's my remedy, our love is the remedy that will make everything better, because everything's better with her.**

_If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity?_

**Our love's only insane because I've made it the way. I've been so selfish, I'm slowly realizing that. While my side of Auslly was insanity, Ally was always clarity. Ally and I we breakup a lot, but we get back together most of the time, so why shouldn't this one be any different?**

_I hate to break it to you, but what if Ally falls in love with someone else? A guy who treats her right? Then what? _

**That's what I intend to figure out while I'm in rehab.**

* * *

**We reach the rehabilitation center. It's a light stone color house, with pillars, bay windows and huge front door. It reminds me of what a plantation in the south would look like. **

**We're greeted immediately when we walk into the door Dr. Jones and Dr. Smith. **

**Introductions are made. They tell me that I'm not the only one here and that I will be treated alongside true addicts with more than just drug and alcohol related issues. They are all in their rooms now, I won't be meeting them until later. Good, because honestly I just want to get settled, maybe write in my songbook and read Ally's before having to deal with what is considered to be group therapy.**

**Dr. Jones addresses my mother, **"Mrs. Moon, Austin will be allowed to have visitors on Sunday's. He will have limited access to his cell phone however as I will be taking it away from him like I have the other patients as well."

"I understand." She shakes the doctor's hand, they leave us to say our goodbye's.

"Oh honey, I don't want to leave you here but this is what's for the best."

"I know." **I say simply, there's sadness in my voice because I'm about to be in a room filled with people but feeling entirely alone and out of place. I mean there are going to be real addicts here so I can only imagine how volatile things can become. **"I love you, Mom. Thank you for bringing me here."

"I love you too, Austin. Do this for yourself, but also for Ally. I know you love her Austin, but believe me when I say that actions speak louder than words."

**My mother leaves and I walk down the hallway and to my room where I'll be staying. I don't have a roommate because that's just not how it works here. I put my suitcase on the bed, the picture of Ally and I that I brought with me, place it on the nightstand, last but not least I take out my songbook. I then put my guitar case down and open it out taking out my guitar and shut and lock my door leaving myself alone with just my thoughts.**

**How am I feeling? How have I been feeling? I start to strum my guitar and write down the first few lines into my songbook that Ally gave me. **

**The Script: Breakeven**

_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing_

_Just praying to a God that I don't believe in_

**It's hard to believe in anything when I'm feeling this way especially a higher power. I'm not disrespecting him it's just when you're so low sometimes you find yourself doubting his powers.**

_'Cause I got time while she got freedom_

**I have the time and she has her freedom because I let her go and didn't appreciate her the way that I should have.**

_'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even_

_Her best days will be some of my worst_

_She finally met a man that's gonna put her first_

**While her relationship with Logan hasn't been confirmed, I just have a feeling that it's either happening or will happen in the very near future which obviously I don't want.**

_While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping_

_You don't know if she's having trouble sleeping or not._

_'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no_

**_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?_**

I let a tear slip from my eye and onto the paper where the ink is now blotchy. I can't believe how stupid I have been.

**_And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?_**

_I'm falling to pieces_

_I'm falling to pieces_

_They say bad things happen for a reason_

_But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding_

**It feels like my heart is bleeding, there aren't any words that can stop this pain that I'm feeling.**

_'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving_

_What else was Ally supposed to do Austin? Pine and cry over you forever? You don't love or treat her the way that she deserves to be treated at present._

_And when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, oww_

_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?_

_And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?_

_I'm falling to pieces_

_I'm falling to pieces_

_I'm falling to pieces_

**_(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)_**

**_I'm falling to pieces_**

_('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)_

_You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain_

**_You took your suitcase, I took the blame_**

_Are you sure that you both weren't in love when she left you and got on that private jet?_

**No, I'm not sure.**

**_Now I'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh_**

**_'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name_**

_Your fault._

**_I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing_**

**_Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in_**

**_'Cause I got time while she got freedom_**

**_'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break_**

**_No it don't break, no, it don't break even, no_**

**_What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?_**

**_And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?_**

**_I'm falling to pieces_**

_I'm falling to pieces_

_I'm falling to pieces_

_(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)_

_I'm falling to pieces_

_('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)_

_Oh, it don't break even, no_

_Oh, it don't break even, no_

_Oh, it don't break even, no_

As I finish my song, there's a knock on my door. I open it and Dr. Jones is on the other side.

"Austin..it's time."

_Time to begin._

* * *

A/N:

So, how do you think Dez & Logan spending time together is going to go?

Oh, Austin. He's in rehab right now, who thinks that this is going to work for him?

Hope you guys liked this chapter. It took a long time to write. It is highly unlikely that I will post again since it's officially my birthday and I'll be insanely busy most likely all day, but maybe if I feel like it I'll start to write the next chapter within the next hour if I don't fall asleep. xo


	34. Bonding

**Holy flip you guys...Um over 11K in views, I'm just wowwwwwww! Thank you, also so close to my review goal. You guys rock! Thanks for the birthday wishes as well! xo**

_STORY NOTE: Austin's in Rehab guys for at least a month, if I feel that he's not making any progress I will keep him there longer if I so choose. Now, because Austin's in rehab it would be a complete wtf if in a few chapters he suddenly shows up, it's not going to happen. __You guys want Austin to get better right? Yeah, so do I. I also want Austin to reflect and see where everything went wrong and if/how he can gain Ally's trust again.__ I also have a lot of crazy things planned coming up throughout the tour. Mind you they have already been on tour for close to three months. That being said, I'm **not **going to rush my story. If I feel like you guys expect me to rush it, rush them back together then guess what it's going to suck. When they actually see each other, then it won't be worth the wait. So, please bear with me. Honestly, I'm kind of frustrated. I'm happy with the pace I have set my story as it's realistic. It took Auslly two years in the show to finally get their acts together. Now, Ally's on tour for **six months** with potentially a mini break. Therefore, I'm going to write the story the way I want to. Sorry for the mini rant, it's just this story is going to be on the longer side in comparison to my others as I've become more comfortable and confident in my writing. You can thank one of my amazing friends for this story being longer as bey reading hers it's not worth rushing a story. I completely thank and adore those of you that took the time to read this author's/side note as well._

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Dez's POV**

**I'm heading over to Ally's room where I'm assuming that I'm going to find Logan. Both Ally and Jess want me to spend time and get to know him better. I can do this.**

**I walk down the hallway and finally reach the door and knock.**

**Logan opens the door dressed in jeans and a tee-shirt."**Oh, hey Dez."

"You look disappointed to see me. Were you hoping that Ally had forgotten something and had to come back for a minute?"

"Well, yes I was hoping that she would."

"So...she picked you...I swear, if you hurt her." **I say what is meant to sound as a menacing and threatening tone as I walk into Ally's hotel room.**

**He looks me dead in the eye,** "I won't."

"Because?"

_You already know the answer, but since you want confirmation. Open your mouth._

"I'm already in love with her."

_See you already knew why._

**Shut the fuck up.**

**I'm trying to decide what to say when Logan offers to continue the conversation,** "Anyways, what brings you here?"

"Well Ally and Jess want us to hang out." **I say as we're standing in the middle of the room.**

"Okay? Why don't we sit down and talk?"

"Do bro things. Get along etc. I'm down for that." **I pause when I notice that he's obviously looking at something important on his phone.**

"Were you in the middle of doing something?"

"Yeah, planning a fun date for Ally and I when she comes back from her shopping day with Jess."

"Oh, I asked if I could go with, but it was pretty clear that Jess was in serious need of female bonding time with Ally. I'd ask why you're in Ally's room and not your own, but I'm not even remotely surprised."

**Logan sighs, puts his hands together to crack show that he's deep in thought.** "Listen, I know that it probably bothers you that I'm 'with' Ally, but we're not official. I know that you love her, believe me I'm well aware that there's a huge possibility that if she had never been with Austin...she very well could have picked you. But you said yourself that she picked me. It's not because she doesn't care about you, because I know that she does. She doesn't want to ruin your friendship with Austin by being 'with her'. She values your friendship that much is clear."

**We're currently in chairs a good distance away from each other and I'm starting to feel more comfortable, less agitated and awkward around Logan. **"I'm not going to help you steal her heart away with what I think is/was currently with Austin's. Truth is, he gave up fighting for her a long time ago. It angers me. Now, while I won't help you steal Ally's heart, I'm not going to stand in your way either. Dude, she was so upset when you left her before the concert. I've only seen her that upset on a few occasions, she ran after you. Honestly, I think that she's falling for you."

* * *

_Whoa, what did you just say? You do realize that since you have said this out loud, now you can't take it back? _

**Yes.**

_But what about Austin?_

**What I said about Austin is the truth. I'm not really helping Logan, but I am not going to keep trying to intervene with him and Ally. **

_You just told the guy you think that Ally's falling for him. _

**That's because I can see that she is. It's the same look she gave...**

* * *

"Thanks, man. I understand and respect where you are coming from. Just know, I knew that Ally was awesome but I didn't think that I would end up falling for her. Especially since stuff with her and Austin ended badly, that shit with them is complicated. I tried to keep my distance, but I was just instantly drawn to her. I'm sorry that when I left she was upset, I just needed some time to think. I've already apologized to her for that, now you know why I left. I don't expect us to be best friends, but I want us to be cool with each other. What do you say?"

"I don't hate you, Logan. I actually respect you. You come forward when something is bothering you and you're honest. Don't worry if there's anyone that hates you it will be Austin."

"Yeah, about him. I'll deal with him if and when it's necessary. Don't worry I'm not going to provoke him unless he provokes me first."

"Austin's my best friend, I've known him forever, actually since we were kids. But honestly, he didn't know how special and amazing Ally was when he had her, even still it wasn't until she left him that he realized how horribly he fucked up. I can't believe that I'm about to say this..." **Should I say this? Well, here goes.** " I hope that you will steal her heart and make her the happiest that she has ever been. I just want who is going to best for Ally and I don't know maybe it's you."

**Logan looks completely stunned,** "Wow, thanks. That means a lot coming from you." **He reaches out for my hand and I shake it without any hesitation.**

* * *

_Are you open to accepting Logan & Ally?_

**I'm getting there. I just want her to be happy, Logan makes her happy.**

_Good, well then we're making progress._

* * *

"It's not a problem. I'm just becoming more aware of things as I'm not around Austin as much recently. He doesn't appreciate her the way that he should. He should worship the ground that she walks on, but he's quite the narcissist at times. However; You seem to truly appreciate Ally, that's what I have always wanted for her. She's really great."

"Hey, I gotta go get a lot of flowers for her...Want to come with? I know what she likes, but if you want to pick some out..It's cool. For the record Dez, I'm really sorry that things won't work with you and Ally because of him. I really do mean that."

_He's telling the truth, I know it._

"It's alright. Austin's in our way of Ally and I actually getting together and I know that now. Besides she doesn't look at me the way that she looks at you."

**He quirks and raises an eyebrow in my direction,** "How do you mean?"

"Hope. She has hope in her eyes when she's with you and I haven't seen that sparkle that's coming back in her eyes in the longest time."

"Really?" **It sounds like he doesn't believe me but at the same time he does. **

"Yes, Logan. I believe you when you say that you are in love with her. I believe you because I know what it feels like to love her and I notice the way that you look at her. You're making it so hard for me to hate you. I can't even hate you for Austin."

**He laughs lightly,** "Because I'm that awesome?"

"Yes. I'll come with you to get these flowers for her. Grab your key and wallet and we'll get started."

* * *

**Logan's POV**

**Dez and I walk out of the hotel and head towards the town on foot a few streets up. It stopped raining a little while ago and only the pavement glistens lightly, but it's hot enough that it is starting to dry. I'm slightly relieved that he agreed to come with me. Like I said before, I don't expect us to be best friends but I do want us to be cool and get along for Ally. We have come across a merchant style market place and there are quite a few florists to choose from.**

"Where do we start?"

"I don't know, man. Whatever looks pretty?"

**I start laughing so hard that it hurts my gut,** "Okay, Dez. Let's go find the pretty flowers."

**He lightly shoves me in the chest and starts laughing just as hard, "**Yeah, okay you have a point that did sound pretty gay."

"Agreed, I don't have anything against that lifestyle for the record, but I'm positive that you are not."

**We walk over to one of the three florists in this market place, "**Hi, we need to purchase some flowers."

"What do you like? Who are they for?"

**Dez interrupts,** "My best friend, that he wants to make his girlfriend."

"I see." **The florist says,** "What colors does she love?"

"Purple to start with?" **I scan the flowers that he has on his relatively decent sized cart. There are green, yellow, orange and pink as well. The flowers are so exotic looking and even as a total alpha male even I can appreciate the brightness in the colors. They are bright and remind me of Ally. I wonder if she misses me. As I'm looking at the flowers Dez snaps his fingers in front of my face. **"Check out these purple ones!"

"The purple flower is our national flower here in Brazil. It's sometimes referred to as the Corsage Orchid."

"I'll take a few dozen of these." **The merchant looks like he's just sold a car and is beaming from ear to ear. "**Yes. I need a ton of flowers for my girl." **I happily pay the guy for the huge amount of orchids that I've basically just bought.**

**Dez and I saunter through the market, pass some fruit stands on the way and go to the next florist. At the next florist, an older woman is of assistance to us, like before I tell her that I would like to purchase some flowers.**

"Do you see any colors that you like?"

"Red and Orange."

** I purchase at least ten dozen red roses and orange lilies that are yellow in the center. I then realize that I'm not sure how Dez and I are supposed to get these back to the hotel.**

"Dez, do you see anything that you know that Ally would like and you want to pick out for her?"

"No, I'm good. I actually don't mind doing this with you. It's really sweet, man."

"Hey, let's just get some fruit, a jar of pickles and head back to the hotel. We have dozens of flowers, how should we get them back?"

_Snap. Snap. Snap._

**I tap Logan on the arm to get his attention,** "Dude, someone's snapping pictures of us. With our luck, it will be paparazzi and you won't be able to surprise Ally the way that you want to."

"Fuck. Well, let's grab a cab and put the flowers in there and go straight to the hotel."

**We reach the hotel and pay the bell boy to bring the flowers up of the room.**

"Okay, so we probably have about an hour before the girls come back or so."

"I'm just going to get changed for my date with Ally really quick."

"Sounds good."

**I run to my room to get changed, grab what I need and come back to Ally's hotel room and we start to set everything up. It takes us a good half hour or so to arrange the flowers how I want them arranged in her room. It smells great in here, by the time we've finished the flowers are scattered all over the room. I have put rose petals on the bed, there are four sets of roses two on each table. On the desk close to the balcony are the orchids and the others are the orange and yellow lilies. Dez and I have also placed the remaining six dozen roses three on both the left and right side of the vanity in her room. Not too much later we hear the door click and know that Jess and Ally are about to walk in the door. Dez and I get into position letting the girls open the door and hearing them laughing and talking about how much fun they had while shopping. **

**When she walks in,**"Hey guys did you have-?"** She stops and her mouth drops into a huge 'O'. I walk over to her and take the shopping bags out of her hands. I place them on the floor against the wall.**

"What is all of this for? For me?" **She walks around the room and looks at all of the flowers just smiling.**

_I love her smile._

**I walk up so I'm right behind her when she bends down to smell the red roses. I whisper into her ear,**"You."

**I take my arms and wrap them around her and she turns around to face me.**"It's not my birthday or anything. So what are these for?"

"Just think of these as just because flowers. Do you like them?"

"Like them? I love them!" **She wraps her arms around my shoulders and kisses my cheek.**

"Dez did you help him?"

**Dez responds back to her,** "No, not entirely. I went with him to the-'"

**Ally's phone starts to beep,**

"Guys, hang on one second."

**We all just smile at her, Dez and I know that there were pictures snapped of us earlier. She reads the headline out loud.**

_Spotted: Logan Carter and Dez Worthy holding a lot of flowers in Brazil today. Who are these flowers for that Logan purchased? We have one guess, they have to be for none other than Ally Dawson. Looks like there's some romance in the air. She's one lucky girl!_

**Under the caption, there are pictures of Dez and I both holding flowers and me paying for them. **

"Does this mean that I get a kiss now?" **She walks back over and throws her arms around me, while I envelop her in a hug. She gives me a heated passionate kiss that awakens my member. She pulls away and walks over to give Dez a quick hug, and then back to me.  
**

"Tiger, why are you in swim trunks?"

"Our date, it's a surprise but that means that I need you to put on one of your sexy bikini's." **She blushes,** "I love when you blush."

**She presses her lips against mine, while Jess or Dez attempts to clear their throat. We pull away looking like we've just been caught eating raw cookie dough and only able to back a few less chocolate chip cookies because of it.**

"And that's our cue to leave." **Jess takes Dez by the arm and drags him out the door, he takes a couple of her shopping bags on the way out. Ally and I both chuckle at their actions. **"They are not very subtle."

"Oh, and this is?" **She smirks at me gesturing to her room filled with flowers.**

"I'm crazy about you, I wanted to do this for you."

"Well, they are very beautiful. I just can't believe that you did this for me."

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you are."

"Aw Logan. You're so sweet."

**I take her face in my hands and pour every ounce of myself into this kiss. God, I am very much in love with her. She takes my hands and pulls me onto the bed. She starts to kiss me and things get very heated and we're both panting, **"Princess, as much as I am loving this. We have a date to go on. So, please go throw on one of your bikinis and a cover-up and then we can get going."**  
**

**She groans, I'll tell her,**" But, we can get back to this later." **She gets up and tells me to turn around so she can change and I let her do so. She's really quick at changing so I know that this won't take long. She tells me that I can turn around and she's wearing a gray cheetah print with the Victoria's Secret charm in the center. The top of the bombshell halter has three separate straps. Her bikini bottom is also cheetah print, the sides are three strings holding the bottom together.**

"You look gorgeous, babe." **She gives me one of the radiant smiles that makes my heart beat faster. She grabs one of her cover-ups and steps into it pulling it up her slender and toned body.**

"Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" **She says batting her long eyelashes at me in hopes that I will cave. **

"Nope, but you will just have to wait and see."** She pouts, but I'm not budging on this one. I take her hand interlocking hers and kiss the front of her hand as we walk out of the door and down to the lobby.**

* * *

A/N: Wow, Logan's pulling out all the stops. Logan and Dez are getting along. Where do you think Logan's taking Ally and what does he have planned for their date? Any guesses? If not it's cool. You guys can always sit tight and wait until I update. :) XOXO


	35. Trouble

**We reached my goal. Thank you my faithful and loyal readers who are wonderful and the one's extremely patient and are just enjoying the story and not rushing me. :)**

**I decided to leave the date for the next chapter. So, you're welcome.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I only own all of my original characters.**

* * *

**AUSTIN'S POV**

**Dr. Jones knocks on my door,**

"Austin.. it's time."

**I follow him down the hallway and walk into my first ever group session. As I walk in, the people in there are definitely addicts real addicts. They look so strung out, pale, worn out and like they are going through serious withdrawal. There isn't a single one of them that doesn't look fucked in the head. As I go to take my seat I see that there are three guys and two girls. The girls can't be more than seventeen years old with jet black hair and dark brown eyes, probably about 5'4 or so they must really be horribly fucked up if they are here in this center at such a young age.**

* * *

_Like you're one to talk._

**Hey, I'm not an addict. I've made multiple mistakes, but I am here to do damage control to ensure that I don't become addicted to the cocaine. Well, at least that's the game plan.**

_You know Austin at twenty-three years old I would have thought that you were smart enough to appreciate who and what you have in your life._

**Don't start. I'm not in the fucking mood for this.**

_Stop talking to me and fucking focus. Dr. Jones is attempting to get your attention, do you want to look psychotic as well?_

* * *

**I take a seat in the circle, yes circle, I guess this is how they feel it's best to communicate. I notice there are other guys in the room as well. Two of them look to be about my height, while the other can't be more than 5'7. The guy with his hair slicked back introduces himself as Jordan. His hair, well it's on the longer side he has dark brown and green eyes. He looks like he'd be a musician as well but we'll just have to wait and see. The next one tall in stature as well is what most girls would call good looking even in his fucked up state, but he doesn't give his name right off the bat. He doesn't look like he's a drug addict though because he looks the most healthy out of everyone here except for myself which I am sure is hard to believe. And now I'm rambling...sorry about that. The guy who looks kind of like David Beckham with reddish-blonde hair with blue eyes and a relatively muscular build and I can assume athletic he's the one who refuses to give his name. Weird, but whatever. Okay, so the last, the smaller guy Jeff has light brown hair, amber colored eyes, glasses and extremely skinny.**

"Everyone this is-"

"Austin Moon!" **The girls screech in excitement, not to mention I think I almost went deaf from their ear-splitting banchy scream.**

"Kenzie and Kylie please use your inside voices." **Dr. Jones says as calmly as possible.**

"We're not children!" **The girls whine, it immediately gives away that they are really very very wrong as in jail bait. They're not Ally, so I would never touch them anyways.**

**Dr. Jones scolds them while embarrassing them at the same time,** "Oh, but you are as in you're not adults. As in not legal, have real problems to work through. Sixteen does not make you eighteen and legal. Now, I apologize for their outburst Austin."

"Girls." **He presses,** "Sorry Austin." **Kenzie and Kylie say practically in unison.**

"That's better, now shall we proceed?" **Dr. Jones assesses the rest of the patients and waits to see if there are any objections.**

**The three other male addicts look at me, trying to size me up I guess?** "What's pretty boy Moon doing here?"

* * *

**Who the fuck does this guy think he is!**

_Careful Austin, he's an addict for something remember. Be cautious._

* * *

"My name is Austin. Moon is just my last name."** I say with irritation clearly evident in my voice.**

"I'm Cole and where's your hot piece of ass girlfriend? Or is she now your fiancee? Did you lock it up and put a ring on it? What's her name again Addy, Abby?"

"Ally. THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS AND IF YOU'RE SMART YOU WILL TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID ABOUT HER." **I've already raised my voice and it's filled with nothing but venom and all I see right now is red.  
**

"Ooooooh touchy, well boys it looks like we already know how to push Austin's buttons and we can do it just by saying his girls name." **Cole nudges Jordan and Jeff, who smirk and nod in agreement.**

"Oh, the things that I would do to her. I would grab her perfect ass and fondle her breasts and kiss her neck and then on her lips and she'd forget all about you."

"Cole, that's very inappropriate! Also, that's very insensitive." **Dr. Smith says sounding mortified, but Cole ignores her and keeps going.**

"She'd be screaming Cole as I fuck her and not Austin. Oh wait, I've read in the tabloids that she's on tour with Logan Carter. Maybe she's moaning his name, so she doesn't need you now does she?"

* * *

_He's taunting you Austin, don't let him get to you._

**Fuck that!**

* * *

**The first thing that registers in my mind is actually the last thing that he says,** "How in the-? Are you out of your fucking mind? I'll never let you touch her! I'd kill you before I let you lay a hand on her you dick!" **Before I know it I'm out of my seat and lunging myself forward and knocking Cole's entire chair backwards as we start wrestling. I start punching him repeatedly while he jabs me in the ribs, oh why did I have to take on the guy that's a little bit bigger than I am. I feel Jeff and Jordan try to yank me off of Cole, but to no avail. It's not until we hear Dr. Jones and Dr. Smith screaming that we stop.**

"Cole! Austin! I want to see you both out in the hallway now."

**We get up and I shove him backwards, but follow Dr. Jones out of the room still fuming. Dr. Smith decides it is best for her to stay in the room with Kenzie, Jordan, Jeff and Kylie.**

"We didn't even start our group session and you two are already getting physical. What is going on?! I'm very disappointed in you."

**I try to think of something quick, but all that comes out is**, "But Dr. Jones-"

"I know Austin, Cole definitely provoked you, but I'm going to be taking both of your phones for the rest of the day."

"But what if Al-"

**He puts his hand up,** "That's not my problem. We don't tolerate that kind of behavior here..from anyone. Cole provoked you but you let him get to you, when you could have reacted differently and in a non-violent manner Austin. You gave him the ammunition when you could have simply just ignored him." **He pauses and sighs, **"Yes, he said her name which is what set you off. We're going to be addressing that more thoroughly while you remain here for treatment." He turns to look at that dick who started all of this, "As for you Cole, we've discussed this and your alcoholism along with your other issues. This is not an effective way to communicate by harassing our new patients. If you do this again, I'm taking away all of your privileges, including the television in your room where you watch football."

"But-"

**Dr. Jones cuts off Cole. **"No, you need to find a more effective way to communicate as well."

**I smirk and roll my eyes at Cole, that bastard that will teach him not to fuck with me. I managed to even give him a black eye. Dr. Jones hold out both of his hands and Cole and I give him our cell phones.**

"Now, if you are both finished taking away time from those who do want to be here. I would like to resume my group session. Cole, I'll have someone grab you an ice pack for your eye. Let this be a lesson to you, do not antagonize people that you don't know."

**I smirk again,** "You underestimated me, my love for her and look what happened to you. Don't ever talk about my Ally like that ever again. Got it?"

**Cole doesn't say anything in response to my comment, but so help me if he ever talks about Ally like that again.**

* * *

**We walk back into the lightly painted yellow looking sort of hospital room with some paintings on the wall and begin our discussion again. **

**I learn that Kenzie and Kylie skipped over gateway drugs, started with cocaine and have been doing heroin. Heroin, that shit that you shoot up into your arm, the most lethal of all of the drugs. Sixteen years old, they are already so far off the beaten path. I can tell that they come from a wealthy family as well, but as I really take in their appearances both look emaciated, possibly even anorexic. They both keep fidgeting in their seats showing that they are restless.**

**J****ordan lost his mother at a young age and so he turned to alcohol and became a pot head as well. He was in and out of the social system, never staying with one particular family because he just kept running away. I wonder if he uses alcohol as a way to cope and defy any sort of reality. Dr. Smith interjects his story and she says, **"Jordan has suffered from Delirium Tremens which is severe alcohol withdrawal where he's had really crazy and fucked up hallucinations to put it blatantly." **Holy fuck! I definitely don't want that to happen to me. Jordan went on to explain that he swore his hallucinations were real and that he honestly thought parts of his body were becoming or were physically detached.**

**Jeff is so fucked up that he's even worse than Lewis Caroll who wrote **_Alice In Wonderland._** I have nothing against that guy as an author, but that's just to give you an idea as to Jeff's current state of mind. He's addicted to Ecstasy. I can't even explain how mentally unstable he is. **

**Cole, ah, this asshole. Well, as I suspected he's an alcoholic. His father beat him his entire childhood, when his dad divorced his mom she had to find a way to support herself and her son. She had fallen into the prostitution ring, but Cole didn't know that until much later on in life. When he was about ten or so, he walked in from school and saw his mother being choked and raped. You would think that would make him not objectify women, but it seems he's taken on his fathers personality traits.**

**After everyone else spoke, it was finally my turn. **"I'm Austin. I'm here because I drink alcohol to deal with my problems. I'm worried that it's getting close to borderline alcoholism. One night when I decided that alcohol wasn't enough I did a line of cocaine and hurt the person in the world that I love the most. She doesn't believe me now, but I don't want to become addicted when I can prevent it from happening. I want to get help which is why I am here."

**Kenzie asks,** "Who is it the one that you hurt?"

**She looks at her sister Kendall and she just shrugs,** "I don't know who he's talking about."

"I can't say until I make a public apology, but you will find out eventually."

**Cole scoffs, and I just glare at him. What the fuck is his problem? **

_He was just born an asshole. You know that saying, _

_"An asshole, is an asshole is an asshole...That seems to be the case here."_

**I spent the rest of the group session glaring at Cole, he glared right back at me, but we didn't say a word to each other. He better not, or I swear to God that I will fucking deck him again. Dr. Jones ended up giving Cole and I back our phones sooner rather than later for good behavior or better behavior rather.**

* * *

**I finally have my hands on my phone, open it to see that there's a post with Logan and Dez in Brazil purchasing flowers, no doubt for Ally. I refrain from chucking my phone across the room and into the wall. Reality, perhaps reality will help sober my thoughts and my life back to the way it was before everything went to shit.**

* * *

**What the fuck is Dez doing with Logan?**

_They're probably just being amiable for Ally. He's still your best friend even though you have been a really shitty one towards him. _

**I have not. **

_Oh really? You haven't just called Dez to ask what Ally's doing? When was the last time you called just asking how he was? The world doesn't revolve around you._

**I sigh, ugh he's right. I don't even know the last time I didn't call Dez to not whine about Ally.**

* * *

**I go to my music player on my phone and try to let the music calm me.**

_Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now_  
**_Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same_**  
**_When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down_**  
**_Cause my heart breaks a little when hear your name_**

_It all just sounds like oooooh…_  
_Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize_  
**_That I should have bought you flowers_**  
**_And held your hand_**  
**_Should have gave you all my hours_**  
**_When I had the chance_**

**I feel you, man. This is seriously ironic, Logan just bought Ally flowers I'm pretty sure. Bruno Mars knows what he's singing about in this song. The heartache, the pain, the regret.**

_Take you to every party_  
_Cause all you wanted to do was dance_

**I think of Ally dancing The Ally Way, it's the little things like what used to be her awkward dancing that I am missing the most right now. **

**_Now my baby's dancing_**  
**_But she's dancing with another man_**

**_My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways_**  
**_Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life_**  
**_Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…_**  
**_And it haunts me every time I close my eyes_**

**When was the last time that I actually got a good night's sleep? It must have been before Ally left and that was almost three months ago. I close my eyes and I only see her.**

_It all just sounds like oooooh…_  
_Mmm,** too young, too dumb to realize**_  
**_That I should have bought you flowers_**  
**_And held your hand_**  
**_Should have gave you all my hours_**  
**_When I had the chance_**  
**_Take you to every party_**  
**_Cause all you wanted to do was dance_**  
**_Now my baby's dancing_**  
**_But she's dancing with another man_**

_Although it hurts_  
_I'll be the first to say that I was wrong_  
_Oh, I know I'm probably much too late_  
_To try and apologize for my mistakes_  
_But I just want you to know_

_I hope he buys you flowers_  
_I hope he holds your hand_  
_Give you all his hours_  
_When he has the chance_  
_Take you to every party_  
_Cause I remember how much you loved to dance_  
**_Do all the things I should have done_**  
**_When I was your man_**  
_Do all the things I should have done_  
_When I was your man_

**_My phone bings with another notification and of course once again from the paparazzi. Pictures included obviously._**

_Spotted: Logan Carter and Ally Dawson playing in the..._

**Seriously, fuck my life. How much worse can things get?**

_Oh Austin, you have no idea._

* * *

**A/N: So this chapter is kind of short, but you get the idea. Eh, I'm not sure how I feel about this one, but I think I've gotten my point across. ;-)**


	36. A Little Competition Never Hurt Anyone

I don't have any excuse as to why it has taken me almost a week to update. I just didn't feel like writing and I wanted this chapter to be as perfect as possible. Thanks for the reviews.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**As we're walking out of the hotel room, I'm in my bikini and cover-up and Logan's in a tee-shirt and his swim trunks.**

"I really love the flowers you got for me. I still can't believe that my entire hotel room is filled with beautiful flowers. You are quite the romantic." **As we hold hands interlocked I squeeze his hand a little tighter to show him how I'm feeling about him. I'm still trying to work that all out, but I definitely have strong feelings towards him.**

**He playfully nudges me,** "Oh, just you wait to see what I have planned for us."

"I'm going to assume that you're not going to tell me, but will lead us wherever we're going anyways, so I'm not worried."

"So, does that mean you trust me?" **He says it in a teasing tone, but I know better and can hear a hint of seriousness in his tone and in the question itself.**

"What do you think?" **I say while batting my eyelashes at him accompanied with my flirtatious looking smile.**

"Well, I'm hoping that you do for what I have planned."

**We walk outside the hotel and grab a cab to our destination. We get in and Logan tells the cab driver where he's taking us. I was told to cover my ears, did so because he just looked so cute when he asked me to do so. Those green eyes are just so hypnotic to me. It's going to take us a half hour to reach our destination, Logan about fifteen minutes in puts a blindfold over my eyes. Another ten minutes or so goes by, I'm starting to get anxious,** "Are we close to our destination?"

"Yes, Princess, we'll be there in two minutes." **The cab stops and Logan pays the cab driver and takes his number so he can bring us back to the hotel as well later on. He tells me that he's going to grab our stuff, I hear him throw it over his shoulder.** "Alright babe, I'm going to help you out of the car now." **I take his hand and he guides me while I'm blindfolded for about a minute before our toes hit the sand.** "Okay, so I know we're at the beach, but why did we drive thirty minutes or so from the hotel when there's a beach right outside the hotel?" **I can hear him smirk,** "Impatient, are we? Good things come to those who wait, baby." **I pout my lower lip, "**Are you going to take my blindfold off soon?" **He just keeps quiet for a minute and the silence is just comfortable and easy with us. He tells me to stop and stands behind me,** "I'm going to take your blindfold off now." **He does, when he does there are just no words for how gorgeous this beach is, completely white sand that's so soft it feels like silk on the bottoms of your feet, the ocean is that perfect turquoise color. When I look straight out into the ocean I notice that there are two very large rock formations just in the middle of the ocean, it's so cool looking. When I look to my right I see that there are people out in the water on some sort of boats. Logan brings me out of my thoughts when he says,** "So, we're going to go windsurfing!" **He smiles that gorgeous smile that immediately starts to warm my heart.**

"Oh my god! Really? That sounds so cool. I hope that we're going to have an instructor first, because I don't know how to windsurf."

"Don't worry love, yes we're going to have an instructor I made a call and the lesson and windsurfing excursion is already paid for. First things first, we're going to have to put sunscreen on you." **He takes the sunscreen out of my bag. **"Me, what about you?" **He puts the lotion in his hands and starts to apply and rub the sunscreen on my back while kneading and massaging me at the same time. **"Yes, I'll put sunscreen on." **It feels amazing, he's got really strong hands. It's kind of hard to focus with his hands on me, so I spit out, **"But I'm already kind of tan." **His voice gets even huskier, it does things to me that I just can't explain. **"Well, the sun here is a lot different than Miami and I'm not taking any chances since we have a show tomorrow night and then we're leaving Brazil." **I can feel the beginning of an erection poking me in my backside. I clear my throat and turn around in his arms. **"I've never gone windsurfing before. Have you?"

"No, but I thought it was something fun a 'first' that we could experience together."

"When does our lesson start?" **I decide that I'm going to tease him and turn my body so I have my back to him, grind my ass over his swim trunks.**

"Not for another half hour or so. So we can...Ally, watch out! **I turn my head, Logan bats a volleyball away from us. He runs over to go pick it up, someone yells from the net.** "Sorry about that, can we please have the ball?"

**Logan goes to toss the volleyball back,** "Hey, do you guys want to play? We would love to have two more people. One on each team." **Logan looks at me, I just smile and nod my head, when we get to the court the guy introduces himself I think his name is Juan?** "Your girl is very pretty." **Logan puts his arm around my waist, says thanks and,** "Yes, she certainly is." **I don't even attempt to correct Juan because honestly, I think I really do want to be Logan's girl. I put my hand out,** "Hi, I'm Ally and this is Logan." **There are three guys, two women on one side, while on the other there are three women and two guys on the other. Obviously, we were going to even out the genders.** "Looks like we're on opposite teams. You ready for me to bring the heat, Tiger?" **I give him a quick kiss, we take our positions on opposite sides of the net. I'm on Juan's team, we've been playing for about ten minutes already and Logan and I have already gone through the first rotation and have served, about five minutes later we're back in the same position we started in. I look to the other side of the net and there is some Chiquita banana batting her eyelashes at Logan. The ball bounces back and forth over the net, I've finally had enough of some Brazilian looking model basically eye-fucking while I'm on my date. Juan sets the ball up, and I spike it over the night and hit the girl right in the face.** "Oops, sorry!" **Logan gives me a what the fuck was that look? I ignore him and focus all of my energy on winning this game for my team. My team has twenty points, while Logan's is behind with eighteen points. My team only needs one more point to win. A female from my team sends the ball soaring over the net with an overhand serve, Logan's team tries to spike the ball on us, but with no such luck. I bump it right back over the net and it falls in between Logan and that bitch who has been flirting with him this entire time. I scream,** "Twenty-one! We win!" **My team rushes over to me and Juan is the first to envelop me in a hug, with his very sexy physique. I can feel Logan glaring, but honestly after what I was just subjected to for the last twenty or so minutes, I could care less. The rest of my team comes over to me and we shake hands with the team on the other side of the net. I go to shake Logan's hand, not even looking at him. I was even forced to shake that temptresses hand just before his. I can feel him shaking his head at me,** " I don't want to shake your hand. I want something more."

* * *

**I harrumph,** "Well, why don't you get whatever it is you want from Miss Fucking Brazil?" **He walks around the net, grabs my hand and waves bye to the others pulling me so we're alone.** "Ally, you can't be serious."

_Ally? He very rarely calls me by my name. Shit._

**He looks extremely frustrated with me at this point,** "Did I not just fill your entire room with flowers? I'm crazy for you, only you. I'm not happy with how you're acting right now though. You have a few minutes to get your shit together or we're leaving."

"Logan, the woman...she was eye-fucking you the entire time we were playing volleyball. I don't feel bad for the ball hitting her in the face. Were you just completely oblivious to her wanting to ravage your entire body? Not to mention she might as well be MISS FUCKING BRAZIL and if she ever competed she'd probably win Miss Universe!"

_Oh no, he's pissed because that look on his face says it all._

"Damn it Ally, I don't want to fight with you. I'm only going to say this once. Stop being a bitch to me. I didn't want to say anything about you hitting that girl in the face, but you know what now I am. I get it, you were annoyed, but once again we're not exclusive. I don't know what the fuck else I have to do to get you to see how I feel about you. I mean -"

"I'm sorry, Logan. It's just she was so flawless, even her skin was just the perfect color tan and I-" **He takes his finger and puts it to my mouth.** "It doesn't matter because she's not you. I'm here with you. Now, we need to go start our windsurfing lessons and I want us to move forward from this argument."** I can feel the hot sun beating down on us, the sun makes his eyes look even brighter, man they really are a gorgeous emerald. Logan looks down at me, I can think he might still be annoyed with me, but before I could think about it any further he yanks me into his body, having our bodies closely pressed together. He looks at me with heated desire in his eyes, it doesn't take him more than a second to cover my mouth with his in a heated kiss. This kiss felt just like our first, but much more, it was hungry so hungry. It was like we couldn't get enough of each other, honestly if he wanted to screw me right under or against this palm tree I'd let him, but we have windsurfing lessons to get to. I am the first to pull away,** "Um, I can see a guy looking over at us. Is he our instructor?" **He blushes,** "Yeah, we should probably get going. Come on, babe. We'll resume this in the very near future."

**We walk over to our instructor, who we learn his name is Leandro. I'm assuming that in the sport windsurfing you have to be physically fit, because let me tell you he certainly is. Logan clears his throat.**

_You just got finished fighting with Logan, don't give him another reason to be upset with you. He didn't flirt with that chick. So, cut the shit right now._

**Leandro goes over the basics of windsurfing with Logan and I and we know that the foot strap should be snug, but not too tight. I am instructed to take my hand to assess the width of what should be right for my foot, Logan standing behind me takes his hand and slides it in.** "Like this, babe."

_God, why is this so hot? Is he trying to turn me on in front of our instructor because it seems to be working._

**Leandro gets back to the basics and Logan and I take two boards and bring them into the water. The first thing we do is set the board so it's ninety degrees to the wind, then I attempt to straighten the sail as Leandro stands behind me in the water as I pull. He tells me to keep the weight on my back foot, keep my front arm completely straight. Now, it's Logan's turn and he does the same thing and has no problem pulling the sail up with his muscular, perfect arms. Our lesson is over, it's time for Logan and I to now do this on my own. I start sailing on my own and I must be going somewhat fast because it feels so exhilarating. I look to my right and Logan's already right beside me on his own board and we surf towards the rocks with smiles plastered on our faces. He looks so happy and at peace. All of the sudden the wind picks up and it's just too much for me to handle, the board whizzes forward and I attempt to regain control, but completely lose it. Before I know it, the board tips over and I fall into the ocean. **"ALLY!"** Logan yells, he comes to where I am and jumps off of his board into the water. **"LOGAN! What are you doing? Are you crazy?" **He swims over to me concerned and determined to reach me.** "Are you okay?" **He comes a little closer to me. **"Well, I can swim you know." **I'm actually serious when I say it and wink at him at the same time.** "Well, that's a relief. I don't want my girlfriend drowning."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes, I love you and I don't want to be with anyone else. So, can I call you mine?"

**He said **_I love you_** to me again, he hasn't said it often but when he does I can feel my heart smiling and do I? Yes, yes I want to be with him. He puts his arms around my waist while we continue to tread water, I put my arms around his neck. His hair is slicked back, while mine has just now gotten extremely wavy from the salt water. He's looking at me with this intense gaze again and I just feel myself start to melt, it's the most incredible feeling. He kisses me and it's sweet at first, then he deepens it and my heart starts to flutter. He's seriously an amazing kisser, and honestly freaking amazing in bed as well. Sure, he has some baggage and has secrets, but he's made himself so vulnerable and it must have been hard to do. He's just wonderful and it feels like I'm...**

"Yes, Logan. I'll be your girlfriend."

**He poses the question,** "What do you want to do about the paparazzi? They're going to be all over us. They already have seen and assumed us together imagine when we confirm it." **  
**

"I have an idea as to how we can go public with , they can say whatever the fuck they want about us. All I know is that I'm happy, and I'm happiest when I'm with you. Now, Rhett why don't you help your Scarlet back onto her board, then get back on yours and we'll head back to shore?"

"It would be my pleasure Scarlet, but you should know that this time Rhett isn't going to leave you. I think the sun should be setting soon, I want to watch the sunset with you."

**It take about five to ten minutes to get back to the shore. We put our boards down, sit down on the beach. As the sun begins to set it's unlike anything that I've ever seen before. At the very top of the sky is blue, then it blurs into yellow, orange, pink and finally purple. As we sit with our asses in the sand ignoring whoever is on the beach, he pulls me into his side and I inhale his Logan scent. He smells like a mixture of salt water and his scent, but that doesn't deter me from kissing him. **"This is perfect." **He smiles at me and then kisses my forehead as the sun completely goes down. I sigh with contentment and it's then that I realize I am truly happy and at peace right here, right now.**

**Logan & Ally. Well, it seems like a player can be tamed after all. It just took the right woman for him, I guess that happens to be me.**

_You are the right woman for him. Now, treat him the way that you want to be treated. He has been fighting for you since the very beginning when he first laid eyes on you._

"I'm a lucky guy, I couldn't be happier that I can call you mine." **He picks me up after pulling me out of his lap and scooping me up and spinning us around. We spend the rest of our date just laughing and enjoying each others company eventually heading back to the hotel, and we may have left as a little more than friends, but we're returning back as an official couple.**

* * *

**A/N: Anyone hating on this chapter because Ally's finally with Logan, tough. I feel sorry for those of you that that can't see that Logan is everything that Austin should have been to/for Ally. He's getting treatment, so we'll just have to see where the story goes. Sorry to break it to you, but to quote Taylor.**

_And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate_  
_Baby, I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake_  
_I shake it off, I shake it off_


	37. More Than Words

I planned to update last night, but I spent last night analyzing my wonderful friends story and figured out and put the pieces together so far in hers! Love you baeeee!

Keep up the reviews as I love you guys for them! :) This chapter is just over 5k words, this chapter is actually quality so please take the time to review as I very rarely write chapters this long.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

**Last night our date ended absolutely perfect with me falling asleep in Logan's arms. I can't believe that our time in Brazil is almost up. Its been really incredible here, as I open my eyes I'm smiling because the room smells incredible because of all the flowers he bought me yesterday. Logan, he really does make me happy. I look and don't see Logan at the moment, but I'm sure whatever he's doing he'll be back soon.**

**My phone starts to ring and Oh My God, is that really Austin calling me? It feels like it has been forever but not long enough. Fuck, well now what do I do? Great. Well, I guess that I have to pick up. Who knows if he's on a bender.**

"Hello?" **I say with hesitance clearly in my voice as I feel like I've been dreaming.**

"Hi Ally. It's so good to hear your voice." **Oh, so I really am on the phone with him and then the feeling of exasperation hits. **"Austin, I thought that I told you that I needed space. Why are you calling me?"

"Because I miss you and its been a month since we've actually been in contact. I'm not even sure if I can count those text messages we sent back and forth. Well, shortly after you suggested I get help, I did."

"Austin, you really need to stop saying things that you don't mean. You don't miss me. It hasn't been a month."

" Yes, it has been a month. Don't tell me how I fucking feel Ally. I'm tired of you not believing me when I say it."

"I don't know what to tell you Austin, to me they are empty words iand this is about much more than words and you still don't get that! You just say what you think that I want to hear and not what you actually mean. You pushed me away for so long that I don't believe you anymore. Your actions contradict what you say the majority of the time. I'm still hurt in case you haven't noticed that. I'm not going to get over all the shit that you've put me through over night. I need space I need time away from you. I meant that, yet you can't see to grasp that. You refuse to accept that I'm not yours anymore. Speaking of, I need to tell you something, it's something that you should hear from me and not the paparazzi."

**I can hear him gulp,** "Austin... Logan and I are official. We're together, well I would want to apologize for being happy, but I just can't bring myself to do that. It wouldn't be right to say that I'm not happy when I am."

**There's complete silence for a beat,** "Ally I saw pictures that the paparazzi took of you and Logan playing volleyball in the sand, which didn't seem like a big deal to me. Until I see another of the two of you under a palm tree looking like you're ready to go at it. That really fucking hurt."

**I try to say something, but just nothing came out. He doesn't deserve an explanation. I'm not Austin's, in fact, I even just told him that.**

"You want me to be happy right?" **I say after a brief pause and he doesn't say a word and I am about ten seconds from going completely postal on him.**

* * *

**Did he really just ignore the question I just asked him.**

_He sure did._

* * *

**We ignore the big elephant in the room momentarily and he continues on,** "Well, I just wanted to tell you that I took your advice and I'm in rehab."

"You're what?" **I feel my lip start to quiver and feel all of my tough love attitude wain and I want to cry. I mean I know that this isn't my fault that he's fallen of the wagon, but God this hurts so much.**

"I'm serious about this Ally, I'm serious about you. So, I'm getting treatment, although it hasn't been easy."

"How come?" **I say genuinely curious as to why its been so hard for him there.**

"Well, there's this guy Cole that's here and he's a complete dick. He made and mentioned you in the same sentence as and along with inappropriate sexual innuendos and well..I decked him."

**Who's Cole and why is he antagonizing Austin?**

"Austin. You know how I feel about that."

"I know, I know, but I couldn't let him talk about you like that. Listen, I really want to see you. But I have no idea how long I'm going to be here."

"I don't know if seeing me is a good idea right now anyways Austin. Everything is so screwed up between us. God, we could be guests on Jerry Springer."

"But you answered your phone, I haven't bothered you in a while. So that means that you still love me and that there's a chance. You care about me Ally I know that you do, even if you don't want to."

"Austin, you're not bothering me. It's just that I've already told you that I'm with someone else. Please respect that, please stop making this harder on both of us than it already is."

"I thought we were friends. Can't I just talk to my friend? I need you too Ally."

"Austin, we're just. You know that we're not actually friends, we've always been more than that. I hate that everything is so complicated."

"Well Ally, you're making everything complicated." **He pauses, and I can hear him get tense on the other end of the line. **"Is this about him? So help me God, Ally. If it is...You've known me for over seven years. Why in the fuck would you choose Logan over me?"

"Logan isn't the one who broke my heart repeatedly. YOU ARE! I was stupid enough to keep on running back to you, well not this time Austin."

**He doesn't say anything, I didn't mean to say it to hurt him, but the truth hurts. The reality of it all is that Austin's broken my heart multiple times and Logan hasn't broken it at all.**

"Does he love you? Is he in love with you? Has he told you that...because if he has Ally there's no way that he will ever love you the way that I do and the way that I know I can fix everything if you just let me."

**I can feel myself starting to become undone like a piece of thread unraveling and ruining my favorite top. I need to stay strong and show him that I am being serious about this.**

"Austin, I'm not having this conversation with you. It's weird and I don't feel comfortable talking about this at all."

"ALLY! JUST TELL ME!"

"No Austin, it's none of your business."

**The moment I say that Logan walks into the hotel room as his eyes light up and he smiles when he looks at me.** "Good morning Princess!" **He walks over to give me a kiss on the cheek and then another on the lips loudly, but I doubt intentional because he doesn't even know who I'm talking to on the phone yet.**

"Princess?! Did he just call you Princess?! What the fuck is that about?" **I ignore Austin for the moment, give Logan my undivided attention.**

"Is that who I think it is?" **Logan asks me and he looks worried and his smile falls the second,** "Yes, it's Austin." comes out of my mouth.

"Should I go?"

**Austin screams **_YES_** into the receiver, and I shake my head at Logan in response to what Austin just said.**

"No, I want you to stay with me. I woke up and you weren't here and I was missing you."

"HELLO!" **Austin screams into the receiver,** "I'M STILL HERE AND YOU BOTH ARE TALKING LOUD ENOUGH THAT I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING."

**I look at Logan, he tells me that he's just going to hop in the shower and he'll let me finish up my conversation with Austin. Okay, now I'm mad. **"Austin. Would you stop acting like a spoiled fucking child who doesn't get to play with his favorite toy?"

"This is lunacy Ally. You with Logan! You're in love with me, not him! You just want to keep fighting me on this and don't want us to be happy together. I'd do anything for you."

"Austin, just don't do this okay? I'm begging you please just stop." **My voice starts to shake as those words come out of my mouth and I know that I'm on the verge of tears and yet knowing Austin, he'll just keep on going with his wants and his needs.**

"Stop? How am I supposed to stop? Ally, I fucking love you. You have no idea how much this hurts. I'm in rehab for you. For us. I want there to be an us."

"Austin, I'm not trying to hurt you. You're making this so much harder than this has to be." **God, I'm starting to sound like a broken record and I just can't get through his thick skull. **"Why can't you just admit it?"

"Austin, I'm not going to take a trip back in time with you. Okay? As far as I'm concerned our past together is locked in a time capsule. I'm with Logan. I'm not going to tell you if he loves me or not, because that you will need to figure out for yourself. I'm glad that you're getting help Austin, but just please give me some space. I deserve to be happy."

"Ally, this fucking sucks I'm just so far away from you." He starts to sing this verse.

_On my knees, I'll ask_  
_Last chance for one last dance_  
_'Cause with you, I'd withstand_  
_All of hell to hold your hand._"

**I can't help but think to myself,** _Damn it, Austin. _**He starts to completely breakdown.** "Please don't do this to yourself Austin. Of course I care about you, but it's not the way that you want me to. I feel like I lost my Austin, I don't even know who you are anymore. I need to figure out who I am by myself and who I am with Logan. I've already told you this and even though this will probably hurt..you've been the only guy that I've been wanting for so long, I finally have someone else other than Gavin or Dez that wants to be with me and that bothers you. It bothers you that Logan wants to be with me. I'm not some trophy to him, Logan doesn't toss me around, neglect or abandoned me the way you do when the second someone prettier comes around. I'm Logan's first choice, whereas with you I'm only second best, or actually the next best thing. You only want me around when it's convenient for you. You don't care about my feelings, my needs or my wants. I put you first and very rarely did you reciprocate my feelings or show that you actually loved me. Who knows maybe he'll bring out the happier side of me..the one that or the piece of me that I thought that I lost."

**I can hear him crying on the other end.** "Ally, I'm supposed to be the other piece of you. It's me that you're supposed to be missing, but you don't." **He continues to breakdown and cry as what he said to me was almost barely audible. It was defeated sounding and filled with angst and heartache. I feel awful that he's hurting, but he did this to himself. It's taking all of my will power to not completely breakdown right now. I do deserve to be happy.**

"Austin, I'm sorry but I really need to go. I have my last concert tonight in Brazil and I really need to start writing another song for it. Take care of yourself."

"Forever & Always Ally. I love you."

**I don't say anything back. Angered and devastated that Austin just had to say our "thing" and that he had to take the knife that's already in my heart and twist it even harder making it much worse for myself, probably for him as well. I hang up the phone and just start to cry sitting with my back against the headboard. It's not just any sort of crying, I'm full on wailing and choking on my sobs while doing so. Why does it hurt so much to talk to him? Why does it feel like right now Austin is just toxic for me? I lied, I do love him, but I just don't feel like I'm in love with him anymore.**

* * *

**Logan comes out of the bathroom in a towel, slides on his boxers and a shirt. When he hears me crying, I see him grab and bring out a box of tissues. He comes over to sit next to me on the bed and takes my hand in one of his and as I face him he starts to rub my back to soothe and calm my never ending tears. Ugh, that makes me think of **_I Think About You_** and it just makes me cry even harder.**

"Babe, what happened?"

* * *

**What happened to** _You Can Come to Me_?

_The answer.. Life. People change sometimes for the worst. They don't value those around them that they actually should and when the person taken for granted has had enough they just walk away._

* * *

"Just the whole conversation with Austin. It was awful Logan." **He tightens his grip on me as I can feel him just wanting to protect me and keep me from any emotional, physical or mental harm. "**We can talk about it if you want, but I want you to want to talk to me and open up only if you are comfortable. I won't force you to talk."

**I trust him and I want to talk to him about this,** "He claims that he still loves me Logan, that he's still in love with me. He's in rehab right now and I can't help but feel like it's my fault even if it really isn't. This is the worst feeling ever. Every time I talk to him I end up crying. I told him that I needed space. You would think that almost a month without us communicating would help, but it just has made everything so much worse. He was my best friend for so long and then when we got together, he took me for granted and just ruined me emotionally for the next guy, which is obviously you. I'm just so sorry that you have to deal with this. We're just starting our relationship as a couple and it's not fair to you that Austin thinks that he can just come waltzing back into my life whenever he wants to."

"Ally, I can only imagine what you're going through. I knew what I was getting into with your ex-boyfriend being Austin Moon, but I want you. I want everything the whole package and your baggage well that's apart of it, and I understand that. Something that Austin may not seem to grasp. You deserve the world and as your boyfriend, it's my job to make you feel treasured and loved which is exactly what I'm going to do."

**I sigh with my vision blurred and choke out.** "I just want to be with you. I just want you to kiss me and hold me in your arms because I feel safe with you."

**And that's exactly what we did. He just held me while I cried about the emotional pain I feel because of my ex-boyfriend Austin, let me cry into his my loving boyfriends arms. I must have fallen asleep from all of that crying, when I wake up I see a note on his pillow.**

* * *

_Princess, _

_You looked so peaceful sleeping. All of that crying must have been physically and emotionally draining. I want you to relax. I'm just going to do some songwriting while I'm in my room for a little bit. Don't worry I'll come back, but I know that you need some time to yourself. I love you._

_Love, _

_Tiger_

* * *

**I hear someone knocking at the door and open it to find Dez. **"Ally, you look like you've been crying." **He opens his arms and I walk right into them.** "Come in, please."

"It's not Logan right? Because I'll beat his ass if I have to." **I shake my head No.**

"Austin called me and I answered." **Dez sighs, takes a seat on the chair near the window pulling me with him. He pulls me down on his lap not in a romantic way, but because he knows that it will be the easiest way to comfort me instead of having to reach across to hug me. **"What did he say?"

"A lot of stuff actually... like how he misses me and its basically been a month since we've had any contact. I attempted to correct him, but he was actually right. I haven't really spoken to him since we left Ireland and came here and well we're leaving tomorrow morning for the next country we're visiting."

"You're rambling. I'm not trying to rush you, but it'll be easier if you just pinpoint what he said that really upset you, so I can yell at him if I need to."

"Dez..Austin went to rehab. I'm pretty sure that he's only been there a day or a couple of days even so far. That he's there because of me, well for me because he's serious about me and about us. I feel bad Dez, but I'm officially with Logan and I deserve to be happy. Anyways, he told me that some guy Cole is already messing with him and he's already defended my honor and got into a fight with this Cole character. Then he starts fighting with me and asking questions about Logan. I don't want to answer, I'm not intentionally hurting Austin Dez it's just I don't think that he's the guy I'm in love with anymore. He's not my Austin, he's turned into this guy that I don't even recognize." **I have tears spilling out of my eyes while Dez rubs my back. Wow, saying these words out loud really does hurt.** "Thank you for just being here for me. I never meant to hurt you either."

"Ally, you're not hurting me. I already had this conversation with Logan. I'm going to be fine, Logan makes you happy. I haven't seen you smile or have hope in your eyes in so long and I think that Logan's the reason for the light in your eyes again. I actually told him that." **I tilt my head in confusion. He told Logan that? Wow, that really must have meant something for Dez to just say that and to back Logan like that.** "I'm your friend, one of your best friends so I'm not going anywhere. As for Austin, I understand where you are coming from and I'm sure a month hasn't been a sufficient enough amount of time for there to be little to no contact. You need more time and he didn't give you that, I'm upset that he didn't respect your wishes. Although I'm thoroughly impressed that he waited a full month to contact you. Let me take this off your hands. I'll reach out to him while he's in rehab and maybe just maybe they'll get through to him and we can have the Austin we know back."

"That's a relief. You're really awesome Dez, I'm lucky to have you. I was actually going to write a song since I'm feeling inspired and to perform it tonight. Do you want to hang out with me while I write it?"

"Sure, I'd love to have some quality Dez and Ally time."

**While I spent the time writing the song for tonight. Dez and I, my friend just enjoyed each others company and we spent most of it laughing. After all of the crying I've just done, I really needed this. Dez isn't Trish and he's not Austin, but we've grown extremely close and at least one of them is here with me.**

* * *

**The Concert: The Last One in Brazil**

**I'm wearing an asymmetrical black crop top with a round neckline paired with a floral red and black mini skirt paired with a pair of hot black stilettos. I'm going to be performing my song that I wrote this afternoon while Logan was getting ready and just giving me some time to myself. I'm kind of nervous, but I really hope that my fans love this new one. If they love it I want this to be my next single. The energy tonight in Brazil is really high, I can hear the crowd chanting my name as they wait for me to walk on stage with my dancers behind me and a special appearance. I told Jess that I want him on stage with me, he already knows the dance moves as he watched the dancers practice at sound check but to just the music and not me singing the lyrics.**

_Miranda Cosgrove: Kissin' U_

**_Sparks fly_**

**_It's like electricity_**

**_I might die_**

**_When I forget how to breathe_**

**_You get closer and there's_**

**_No where in this world I'd rather be_**

**_Time stops_**

**_Like everything around me_**

**_Is frozen_**

**_And nothing matters but these_**

**_Few moments when you open my mind to things_**

**_I've never seen_**

_'**Cause when I'm kissing you**_

**_My senses come alive_**

**_Almost like the puzzle piece_**

**_I've been trying to find_**

_I feel like I've found that with Logan, because he really does makes me happy. _

**_Falls right into place_**

**_You're all that it takes_**

**_My doubts fade away_**

**_When I'm kissing you_**

I walk across the stage and take Logan's hand and pull him out on stage with me. The crowd goes absolutely insane and screams so loudly that it all feels so surreal. The look on Logan's face when I pull him out on stage and I start to actually sing to him is priceless. He looks shocked but overjoyed and just really listens to the lyrics.

_When I'm kissing you_

**_It all starts making sense_**

**_And all the questions_**

**_I've been asking in my head_**

_Like are you the one should I really trust_

_Crystal clear it becomes_

_When I'm kissing you_

**_Past loves_**

**_They never got very far_**

Austin's failure at keeping me as his girlfriend. He ultimately was the reason that I gave up on Gavin simply because he just wasn't Austin, but also because I didn't think we were right for each other. Whether or not Austin realizes it he sabotaged my chances to really be happy or even fall in love with Gavin. He wouldn't let go, or he tried, but then because I was happy, he got Piper and just screwed everything up even worse. He made me feel unwanted and that was really devastating.

**_Wall's up, made sure_**

**_I guarded my heart_**

**_And I promised I wouldn't do this till_**

**_I knew it was right for me_**

_But no one (no one)_

**_No guy that I met before_**

**_Could make me (make me)_**

**_Feel so right and secure_**

Even Austin never made me feel like I was right and safe with him. I felt like I had always loved him more, but Logan makes me feel like we just work and we feel right. I feel a blush creep to my cheeks as he stands behind me while we're dancing and he has his hand on my waist, and I sing to him the next part.

**_And have you noticed_**

**_I lose my focus_**

**_And the world around me disappears_**

I start to jump around while singing and feel like energy surge through kind of like it does when...

_'Cause when I'm kissing you_

_My senses come alive_

**_Almost like the puzzle piece_**

**_I've been trying to find_**

**_Falls right into place_**

**_You're all that it takes_**

**_My doubts fade away_**

**_When I'm kissing you_**

_When I'm kissing you_

_It all starts making sense_

_And all the questions_

_I've been asking in my head_

_Like are you the one should I really trust_

_Crystal clear it becomes_

_When I'm kissing you_

**_I've never felt nothing like this_**

**_You're making me open up_**

I turn away from the audience, but to the side and looking directly into his eyes singing the words.

**_No point in even trying to fight this_**

**_It kinda feels like it's love_**

Logan takes my hand and interlocks it with his own, again the crowd goes absolutely crazy and cheering for our obvious affection for each other. Especially since when he took my hand I looked at him and smiled. From the side of the stage, Jess tosses Logan a microphone, he lets go of my hand to catch it, holds my hands again. I am pretty sure that he's picked up on the chorus and Jess wants him to sing along with me.

_Cause when I'm kissing you_

_My senses come alive_

_Almost like the puzzle piece_

_I've been trying to find_

_Falls right into place_

**_You're all that it takes_**

**_My doubts fade away_**

**_When I'm kissing you_**

_When I'm kissing you_

_It all starts making sense_

_And all the questions_

_I've been asking in my head_

_Like are you the one should I really trust_

_Crystal clear it becomes_

_When I'm kissing you_

**Logan and I finish the song together. Holding hands until the very end of it and even when we finish he takes our interlocked hands and raises them up. This causes us both to smile so much that it hurts, the crowd starts chanting_. _**

_"KISS HER! KISS HER! KISS HER!" _**He puts his my hand up to his mouth kissing it while his eyes never leave mine. There's an Are you sure about letting everyone know this look.**

_"YEAH! GET YOUR GIRL LOGAN!" _**He smirks and pulls me into his arms, w****e finally give them what they want. He gives me the hottest closed mouth passionate kiss. We hear our fans ask us if we're officially together and we nod our heads in confirmation as he kisses the side of my head, pulling me into the side of his body. Whispering **"I love you and you make me so happy and feel alive just like you sang in your lyrics just now."** The energy for the rest of the concert was incredible. Our fans were really supportive and happy that we're together, while the conversation with Austin may have started out the rest of an otherwise awful day, Logan and my fans, Jess, Dez, and this concert is the perfect way to end our time here in Brazil. I'm going to miss it here, but I only see better things coming for us. Time to head to the next country on tour...**

* * *

A/N: Did anyone see any of that coming? Now, there is a lot of content in this chapter...A LOT happened and I mean a lot. So, I want you guys to really look at it as a whole. Try to be objective and not focus on just one specific character and how they're feeling. I'm challenging you to detach from them and look at this objectively without your own emotions about them. How are all of the characters feeling? Has anyone picked up on how strong Ally's feelings are for Logan and that's she's realizing them or she's getting there?

For those of you pissed at Ally for how Ally is acting with Austin... tell me that you wouldn't feel the same way or be stubborn and say the same things. What Ally's feeling is absolutely understandable and easy to relate to with most of you. Imagine finally being happy with an amazing guy to just have the guy, an ex in particular that you loved try to drag with back in and pull you out into the big vast ocean to fend for yourself against sharks. Showing interest and only wanting you because someone else finally has you. Ally's had enough of his crap, has made it clear that Austin needs to get his shit together. Why don't you spend years loving a guy who the second he sees a prettier girl drops you just like that? Then try to tell me that Ally's being a bitch and unreasonable. Try putting yourself in her shoes and recognize just how much harder this is on her than it is on Austin. Oh and let's not forget him doing the drug that killed her cousin. Is it hard on Austin, of course, but he didn't spend years pining away for him like she did. For the record Austin is only at the beginning of his treatment and has a lot to learn.

Okay rant over, I doubt you guys even read these author's notes but if you do kudos and thanks for caring enough to read them. Love ya! XOXO


	38. Therapy: One on One

A/N: I'll keep this brief, sorry for not updating for a week. I saw R5 in concert and had the best time ever, kind of lost my voice. Side note, I'm so sorry if it's not up to par, it's just that I'm not feeling well. I worked hard on this chapter, so kindly review darlings.

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either. xo

* * *

**Austin's POV- Time Skip**

**I really need to stop fucking up. Ugh!**

_Well I'm sure that it didn't help that Logan definitely kissed her when he walked into her hotel room and you were just on the other end of the phone_.

**Still, even though I'm not entirely thrilled with the outcome...**

_You didn't have to start with the cursing. _

**I swear I like to..**

_Shoot yourself in the foot? Uh, yeah pretty much. __Alright, so now that Ally's with Logan there's nothing you can do while you're here in rehab. So, let's focus on how to deal with others a little more how shall I put this.. less volatile._

**But Cole, I wonder what the fuck his deal is.**

_Well, we know his background and what he went through, but who knows if that's the real reason he's basically personally took it upon himself to make you his target. Let's think did we say anything to provoke him?_

**There's a knock at the door, it's Dr. Jones telling me that I need to be in Dr. Smith's office for our one-on-one session now. I've never seen a therapist before or talked to anyone else really about my problems except for Ally or Dez and maybe my parents, so I have no idea how this is going to go. I'm kind of nervous, although I've heard that whatever I say in their office is strictly confidential. I walk to see the door ajar and make my presence known.**

"Austin, please come in." **I walk into Dr. Smith's office, see that it's a pale blue color and that the color alone calms me. The white walls in my room makes me feel like I'm in a psych ward, so this is definitely something new. I notice that she has her Masters Degree on the wall from Brown. I can see pictures of her family on her desk, she has two little boys and a husband. That's what I want...I want a family of my own.**

"Hi. Dr. Smith." **I play with the hair on the back of my neck nervously, it's kind of this tick that I have. Only people who are close to me would recognize this.**

"So Austin, you have been in our facility for a few weeks now. Do you feel like you're making any progress?"

"Well, there's been a lot of reflection, but seeing as this is my first one-on-one session...erm, well I'm not sure what you will think." **I start to crack my knuckles and interlock my fingers to stretch them accidentally cracking my wrist as well.**

"Alright, well then let's get started. Austin, what made you decide to check into rehab?"

"Well, you see. I was making some poor decisions, I had just lost the girl I love...the love of my life actually Ally Dawson. I just took her for granted, I was stupid. I made things worse when I took it upon myself to let a random girl climb onto my lap at a night club and did a line off of cocaine off her chest. All because I was jealous that some guy was kissing her in a video that was sent to me of her at a bar in Ireland. What I say here is strictly confidential right?"

**Dr. Smith nods and I continue,** "A member of her family died from a drug overdose. This person had overdosed on cocaine that was laced with heroin. It was a really bad point in Ally's life as she was close to the person that passed away from it."

"Who was Ally's family member that she was close to that lost their battle with drugs?"

"Molly, her cousin Molly. She and Molly were the best of friends and Ally had no idea that there was even a problem with her until it was too late. Molly didn't tell anyone about her issues, she lost a fight that she could have won had she said something. I love Ally, so I decided that a rehab center would straighten me out and keep me clean and hopefully put me on a straight path."

"Austin, you're not an addict." **She said it very gently but firmly at the same time.**

"No, I know that I'm not, but I can't take that chance. I can't become addicted to drugs when I already have a problem with alcohol. It'll be like I _took the midnight train going anywhere_. I already lost Ally, the only chance I have of ever working things out with her is to find myself again. I want to be the guy that she fell in love with all those years ago, I want to be worthy of her."

"Well, you do have quite the reputation. This is not going to be an easy feat for you to overcome Austin."

"Yes, I'm well aware that I'm a womanizer and took advantage of the fact that I'm a huge Pop Star or I was. I honestly thought that I'd be okay with random hookups and never settling down.."

"But-" **Dr. Smith cuts me off mid thought, **"Someone changed your mind?" **I nod my head even when it's hanging down,** "Okay then, well let's discuss your goals."

"I want Ally to believe me when I tell her that I love her and miss her."

** She's sitting in a chair across from me and leans forward lowering her glasses,** "She doesn't now?"

"No." **I say simply and just that word alone is something that I wish I could change.**

"And why do you think that is? That Ally doesn't believe you."

"I think it's because I'm not giving her the space that she needs. I think that it's because I took her for granted for so long that she just stopped caring about her, about me, about us as a couple. Honestly, doc it's killing me not being with her. It's like nothing really matters more to me than she does, not that she would believe it but what's this all for anyways if I can't be with her in the end?"

"I see. What exactly are you trying to say Austin?"

"My goal is to get Ally back, then well I'm going to make the ultimate commitment to her. There's only one problem..."

"Other than your actions?"

"Yes, and that's Logan."

"And who is this Logan fellow to Ally?"

"Her new boyfriend."

"I see and you're upset because Ally's moved on. How long have you been broken up with Ally, Austin?"

"Seven years."

"Come again? Did I hear that right?" **She pauses, shakes her head in disbelief. I can tell that she's trying to stay detached emotionally but I can't blame Dr. Smith for reacting the way that she is.** "That's a long time Austin, she waited that long to be with someone else? Did you think that Ally would just wait forever for you to get your act together?"

"I'm not saying that's what I thought, but to be honest. Yeah, I guess it was. I guess I assumed that since Ally for the longest time was always there, I'd be able to fuck around with multiple girls and then when I got bored...well I'd go right back to Ally never actually having to commit to her."

"Ah, well forgive me for saying this but you are a serious Narcissist. I also think that you have commitment issues."

"You don't have to apologize. Everyone has pretty much called me out on it or alluded to it, I'm starting to realize that it's the truth."

"May I ask how you've started to come to these enlightening points made towards you? What's that you're holding in your hand?"

"Ally's songbook." **I pause, she motions for me to continue,** "You see. This songbook I have is basically Ally's diary. Sure there are songs in it, but there is so much more to it. It's our story, our history. The good, the bad, and the ugly."

"Would you like to read me an excerpt?"

**I swallow, my knee starts to go up and down subconsciously.**"Is-Is it too soon since this is our first session?"

"No, not if you want to Austin. It's up to you."

**I clear my throat, open up to the last entry in Ally's songbook before she left.**

* * *

_Dear Songbook_

_I feel like my entire world has been shattered. Austin, I don't even know who he is anymore. He just fired me as his songwriter, he never felt it noteworthy to tell me that he wasn't happy with my recent songwriting for him. Sitting in Jimmy's office the moment just felt poignant and I knew that it was truly the end of Austin and Ally, in any way possible. I knew that we could never be friends, partners, or lovers again. Austin has hurt me for the last time. As I sit here, I've realized that as much as I love him..he will always be waiting for the next best looking girl. I'll just never be enough for him. I've tried so hard to keep my sparkle, but honestly I don't even feel like myself anymore and if I'm honest I haven't in the past couple of years. My eyes, you know...they used to sparkle because of him and now I just feel empty and lifeless. I put on this brave face and smile even though I'm dying on the inside, Trish is the only one that can really see the pain. I can't mask it when I'm around her. It hurts to think that Austin was the one when we're just a sad love song playing over and over again every single night and day. How could he not read in between the lines and see my pain? Well, Austin.. he chooses to be an arrogant man, who thinks he's God's gift to women, so essentially a textbook narcissist. I'm sure you're thinking well, if you love him so much how can you say these things about him Ally? Honestly...it's because it's the truth. You see, now that I've been heartbroken for the millionth time by him of course, the clarity I have right now feels very surreal. The truth hurts, I actually just wrote a letter for him, and I'm going to have Trish give it to him. I'm leaving tomorrow so I really need to get packing. I'm giving up on Austin, letting go of him seven years of pining for him. It's time to focus on me now, my career. I'm going to be going on an international tour and I honestly need the distraction. I feel like if I'm busy then I won't have time to be heartbroken and completely irreparable because of Austin. A part of me may always be in love with Austin Moon, but I've had enough. I deserve to be someone's first choice, while that guy hasn't shown up yet, well I'm choosing me over Austin now. Maybe someday I'll be okay and learn to love again. I don't know when that will be, but I hope whoever that guy is he's really special and makes me feel alive and reminds me what it's like to be actually loved by a real man, not some man-child._

_Love always,_

_A Very Heartbroken Ally_

* * *

"May I see that entry for myself Austin?" **I hand over the songbook to her,** "Please be careful, the songbook is really important to Ally and it's also very important to me." **Dr. Smith makes sure that she treats Ally's worn songbook delicately.**

"Does she know that you have this?" **I shake my head,** "Well, how does this particular entry make you feel, and what about the letter she wrote you and just that day in general?"

"Okay one thing at a time doc."

"Alright, let's start with the story first."

"Okay, so basically what happened was... I had met this girl. She was really pretty and told me that she was a songwriter, now I'm a guy so I was thinking with my dick, not my head. Anyways, so this girl Tiffany was gorgeous and I am a very trusting person, I guess that you could say that's my flaw. Ironically enough it used to be Ally that was too trusting, but over the years we've interchanged roles. I thought that Tiffany was telling me the truth when she said she was a songwriter. I foolishly hired her without even looking to see if she had any credentials...

* * *

Flashback

_"Both of you. Have a seat." __**We sat down in the two chairs in front of Jimmy's desk spaced decently apart.**_

_"Now Ally. I'm sure you are wondering why you are here." __**I sensed her starting to fidget in her seat and my nerves took control of me. I refused to even make eye contact with her, **__"Austin has something to tell you Ally." __**I didn't even notice that she looked absolutely beautiful that day until I looked up at her.**_

_"Austin? Austin look at me. Just say whatever it is you have to say." __**She pleaded with me to tell her what was going on, and I didn't respect her enough to just man up. **_

_"Ally, I don't want you to be my songwriter anymore." __**Once the words were said, there was no going back. I knew that, while I thought that things would be bad I had no idea what the ramifications were going to be. **_

_"I've already found another songwriter and Jimmy and I have already hired her." __**I said to her and there was no emotion whatsoever in my voice. I must have sounded like a cold-hearted bastard. A beast truly emotionally, while Ally was the living version of Belle.**_

_"Her?" __**Her voice was strained and I could tell that I shattered her entire being that instant the word 'Her' was said. She knew once again I wasn't just replacing her with a warm body, but someone else that was going to be in my bed, but also my songwriter, therefore replacing my 'best friend' leading her to believe that she was no longer needed or wanted in my life. I don't know how the fuck I let this happen.**_

_"Ally it's nothing personal." __**Jimmy says trying to reassure her and covering my ass, **__"It's just business. You and Austin aren't writing songs the way that you used to, and he's just not happy with your 'partnership' anymore."_

_**Ashamed, I couldn't bear to even look at her, "**__Austin? Is this all true." __**I didn't use words just movements to convey that it was all indeed true..**_

_**Jimmy spoke up on my behalf, **__"Ally, I'm sorry but consider this your termination. Good luck to you in your future endeavors."_

_**Ally keeps herself poised and professional."**__Thank you Jimmy for at least having enough respect to call me in and not tell me this over the phone. I appreciate it, it was nice doing business with you. Thank you. Good luck to you and Austin as well." I could see her trying to maintain her composure, but it was definitely fleeting her by the seconds that passed by. Ally gets up and on instinct, I grab her arm. Why I'm not sure? Maybe it's because I knew the second she left the conference room everything we had was going to fall to pieces. She glared at me, "DON'T YOU TOUCH ME. I'm going to do you a favor by not causing a scene here and embarrassing you. If I were you I'd heed my warning and let me the fuck go." __**It was only loud enough for me to hear and was chilling my bones. She shakes Jimmy's hand before she leaves, rips her arm out of my grasp.**_

_**I remember thinking to myself, **__"What have I done?" __**But it was too late, or was it? It took me all of a minute to realize that I had to chase after her. She was getting ready to speed out of my life and was going faster than the speed of light. I ran to her and into that parking lot like my life depended on it. I banged on her window, she ignored me at first but when she put her convertible top down I jumped in**__. "ALLY!"_

_"I have nothing to say to you Austin." __**She reached over me, open the passenger door as a way of telling me to get out.**_

_"Ally. I need to talk to you. Baby please." __**Now, normally when I call her baby she'd be falling all over me, probably silently rejoicing in victory but not this time. **__"What did you just call me?" __**She turned her entire body toward me and the fire in her eyes reflected in her voice as she questioned what I had just said.**_

_"Baby, Please just listen to me." __**Whenever I'm in trouble 'Baby' normally gets me out of the doghouse.**_

_" You've said more than enough to me today Austin. OH, AND I'M NOT YOUR BABY SINCE YOU'RE NOT MAN ENOUGH TO JUST FUCKING ADMIT THAT YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CAR NOW." __**She was right, but I wasn't about to back down without fighting for her. **__"Yes, you are. You-" __**She didn't even let me finish, I can't say that I blame her. The words, **__"Too little too late."__**come out of her mouth and I can see that she's had enough of my shit. I was almost out of options, so before getting out of her car I reached for her hand one last time. I honestly should have just stayed in the car with her. I see that now. When I get out and shut the door she peels out of the parking lot. She didn't cry once in front of me, just held back the tears and any of the emotion that she was feeling. I couldn't understand for the longest time why she wouldn't let her guard down, I'm realizing now that it's because she was so beyond over it.**_

* * *

"The night before Ally left, I couldn't sleep at all. It wasn't an unusual occurrence as I normally have difficulty sleeping whenever I'm fighting with her and we don't resolve the fight before we go to sleep."

"I see." **She's got her notepad on her lap and I can see her writing things down.**

"I tossed and turned that entire night. I couldn't get through to Dez and I was losing my mind. Trish was the only one not ignoring me, but she went to do damage control on my behalf. I had tried texting Ally at least four times and she ignored every single one. So I went to go and look for her, I found her in my best friends arms and they were kissing. Before you ask, I was angry, so much so that I punched him right in front of Ally. Ally had told me to just leave her alone, that was also the first night that I told her that I love her and that I'm in love with her."

"Well, do you see how and why Ally doesn't believe you? It seems like you were just grasping at anything to keep her."

"Well, not really. You see I kissed her thinking it would make everything better, she would instantly forgive and forget, but I was wrong. As for the letter, well it's in the songbook folded, you just have to find it."

* * *

**Dr. Smith goes through the songbook and finds the letter, she asks if she may read it aloud to me and I agree to it.**

_** The Letter **_

_Dear Austin,_

_By the time you read this, I will already be gone. I don't really know what to say, honestly I can't believe I'm even writing you this because quite frankly you don't even deserve that. I'm going on an international tour with Dez. Ronnie called me yesterday and I'm leaving in less than an hour. It is fine because we said our goodbyes last night. Even if you did somehow get to me before the jet takes off, you're not going to stop me. I have put your needs before mine for so long all because I love you. I really wish that I didn't, but when it comes to love we really don't have a say in the matter. We're done Austin. You have hurt me in a way that is actually impossible to explain. I have put up with so much from you and for so long that I have nothing left. I can't go on fighting and loving you enough for the both of us anymore. So to quote Papa Roach,_

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

_The lyrics speak for themselves especially I tear my heart open just to feel. I'd rather be completely numb than love you the way that I do. That being said, your behavior yesterday was absolutely atrocious. What were you thinking when you punched Dez? Then, you proceeded to say everything to me under the sun except for what matters. I'm not going to come rushing back into your arms. I'm going to be extremely candid with what follows next. You don't love me Austin. You are not in love with me, you just love the idea of being with me. But even still your words are just empty promises. Excuse after excuse of us not being together because you didn't want it to impact our songwriting negatively. We're grown adults now, but the impacting the songwriting that's not the real reason now is it? Honestly, the issue is you. You're a man whore. You traipse around acting completely narcissistic and like you are God's gift to women. Well, you're not. You want to fuck some groupies? Go right ahead. I'm not stopping you, and honestly I really don't care what you do from this point on. I may love you, but I really don't like or even respect you now. Not in the way I used to, before you betrayed me. I hope that your new floosie songwriter whoever she is was worth destroying our friendship and our poor excuse for whatever the fuck you want to call our relationship was. Look at what you did to me, you're no longer good for me. I can't believe that I actually thought that you and I would end up together. Truth is, I should have walked away from you years ago and gotten involved with someone else. Even Elliott, Ethan and Dallas would have been better, probably have treated me better. Loving you has only brought me pain especially since you have been stringing me along for years now. I was foolish to believe that you genuinely cared about us and you wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with you. I have put you first for so long, and now I'm putting myself first. I really don't care if you need me, because I don't need you to be successful. You need to let me go. I used to always believe in us and that we'd be a chain that never breaks, or a truth that never bends, and that you would be the glue to take my broken heart and put it back again, but I don't any longer. So thank you for setting me free, giving me the opportunity to be happy doing what I love. Performing and being on stage, that's the one thing I can actually thank you for..ridding me of my stage fright. This heartbreak is going to make me a stronger individual. So, I guess this is goodbye. Enjoy your life and career without me._

_-Ally_

_**Dr. Smith finishes reading the letter that Ally wrote me,** "_Well Austin, it looks like we have our work cut out for us. There's no way that we can fix you over-night but at least we know where to start."

"We do?" **I ask her, there's an edge to my voice,** "Where might that be?"

* * *

A/N: Sorry for the cliffhanger, but this chapter is crazy long at the moment. It needs to be split. Love ya. xo


	39. Therapy: Scars

A/N: Dear Guest: No, it's not weird you picture Logan as Logan Lerman. **My Logan is Chris Evans, but with Chris Hemsworth's eyes. **Oh, there's even more drama coming. You guys might legit hate me after, but well I know what I'm doing ;-)

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Previously on Careless Heart**

** The Letter **

_Dear Austin,_

_By the time you read this, I will already be gone. I don't really know what to say, honestly I can't believe I'm even writing you this because quite frankly you don't even deserve that. I'm going on an international tour with Dez. Ronnie called me yesterday and I'm leaving in less than an hour. It is fine because we said our goodbyes last night. Even if you did somehow get to me before the jet takes off, you're not going to stop me. I have put your needs before mine for so long all because I love you. I really wish that I didn't, but when it comes to love we really don't have a say in the matter. We're done Austin. You have hurt me in a way that is actually impossible to explain. I have put up with so much from you and for so long that I have nothing left. I can't go on fighting and loving you enough for the both of us anymore. So to quote Papa Roach,_

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

_The lyrics speak for themselves especially I tear my heart open just to feel. I'd rather be completely numb than love you the way that I do. That being said, your behavior yesterday was absolutely atrocious. What were you thinking when you punched Dez? Then, you proceeded to say everything to me under the sun except for what matters. I'm not going to come rushing back into your arms. I'm going to be extremely candid with what follows next. You don't love me Austin. You are not in love with me, you just love the idea of being with me. But even still your words are just empty promises. Excuse after excuse of us not being together because you didn't want it to impact our songwriting negatively. We're grown adults now, but the impacting the songwriting that's not the real reason now is it? Honestly, the issue is you. You're a man whore. You traipse around acting completely narcissistic and like you are God's gift to women. Well, you're not. You want to fuck some groupies? Go right ahead. I'm not stopping you, and honestly I really don't care what you do from this point on. I may love you, but I really don't like or even respect you now. Not in the way I used to, before you betrayed me. I hope that your new floosie songwriter whoever she is was worth destroying our friendship and our poor excuse for whatever the fuck you want to call our relationship was. Look at what you did to me, you're no longer good for me. I can't believe that I actually thought that you and I would end up together. Truth is, I should have walked away from you years ago and gotten involved with someone else. Even Elliott, Ethan and Dallas would have been better, probably have treated me better. Loving you has only brought me pain especially since you have been stringing me along for years now. I was foolish to believe that you genuinely cared about us and you wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with you. I have put you first for so long, and now I'm putting myself first. I really don't care if you need me, because I don't need you to be successful. You need to let me go. I used to always believe in us and that we'd be a chain that never breaks, or a truth that never bends, and that you would be the glue to take my broken heart and put it back again, but I don't any longer. So thank you for setting me free, giving me the opportunity to be happy doing what I love. Performing and being on stage, that's the one thing I can actually thank you for..ridding me of my stage fright. This heartbreak is going to make me a stronger individual. So, I guess this is goodbye. Enjoy your life and career without me._

_-Ally_

**Dr. Smith finishes reading the letter that Ally wrote me**, "Well Austin, it looks like we have our work cut out for us. There's no way that we can fix you over-night but at least we know where to start."

"We do?" **I ask her, there's an edge to my voice,** "Where might that be?"

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I'm nervous because I have no idea where Dr. Smith is going with this, so I'm just going to shut up and listen.**

"Well, we're going to start by analyzing this letter. I think that this letter might be the key and give us insight into what Ally is thinking and how she's feeling when she was writing this. I want you to read this part out loud to me, then we're going to break it down. Austin think about how you feel while reading this and then your immediate instinctive reaction after. Okay?"

**I nod my head showing that I understand. I take the letter out of her hand and shiver glancing down at the words I am about to read. I clear my throat and read the excerpt that she points to,**

_"I have put your needs before mine for so long all because I love you. I really wish that I didn't, but when it comes to love we really don't have a say in the matter. We're done Austin. You have hurt me in a way that is actually impossible to explain. I have put up with so much from you and for so long that I have nothing left. I can't go on fighting and loving you enough for the both of us anymore. So to quote Papa Roach,_

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel"_

"How do you feel after reading this?" **Dr. Smith asks while tapping her pen on the legal notepad.**

"Devastated and unworthy." **As I play with my hands with my head hung down in shame.**

"Now, don't you think that might be how Ally's feeling? Tell me what you can understand by reading what you just read."

"Well, she says that she always puts me first, or she did for the longest time. It seems like she's just given up. She wishes that she never loved me, fell in love with me but she's basically saying that we can't control our emotions and that she didn't have a choice in the matter. She sounds emotionally drained and completely spent. Whoa."

"That's honestly impressive that you got all of that. Okay, what about the song lyrics?"

"Well, the song lyrics are from Papa Roach's _Scars_. They look familiar, but I'm not entirely sure just yet."

"Austin, I want to try something. Okay? I need you to be open minded. I actually just printed the lyrics to the song and I want you to sing it for me. You don't have to worry about people hearing you because these walls are soundproof. I want you to become in-tune with the lyrics."

**She hands me the lyrics and starts playing the song. The music starts to play in the background and I start to shiver as I sing the first verse.**

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_My weakness is that I care too much_

_And my scars remind me that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

_**I'm drunk and I'm feeling down**_

_**And I just wanna be alone**_

_**I'm pissed 'cuz you came around**_

_**Why don't you just go home?**_

_**'Cuz you channeled all your pain**_

_**And I can't help you fix yourself**_

_**You're making me insane**_

_All I can say is_

**_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_**

**_And my weakness is that I care too much_**

**_And our scars remind us that the past is real_**

**_I tear my heart open just to feel_**

_**I tried to help you once**_

_**Against my own advice**_

_**I saw you going down**_

_**But you never realized**_

_**That you're drowning in the water**_

_**So I offered you my hand**_

_**Compassion's in my nature**_

_**Tonight is our last stand**_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_And my weakness is that I care too much_

_And our scars remind us that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

_I'm drunk and I'm feeling down_

_And I just wanna be alone_

_You should've never come around_

_Why don't you just go home?_

_'__**Cuz you're drowning in the water**_

_**And I tried to grab your hand**_

_**I left my heart open**_

_**But you didn't understand**_

_But you didn't understand_

_Go fix yourself!_

_I can't help you fix yourself_

_But at least I can say I tried_

_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_

_**I can't help you fix yourself**_

_**But at least I can say I tried**_

_**I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life**_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_And my weakness is that I care too much_

_And our scars remind us that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_

_And my weakness is that I care too much_

_And our scars remind us that the past is real_

_I tear my heart open just to feel_

* * *

"Austin, is there a connection to the song that Ally chose lyric wise?"

"Well doc, I have a story that I have to tell you. But yes, there definitely is." **I take a deep breath and close my eyes and go back to one of the worst nights of my life.**

* * *

_**Flashback - 2 years ago**_

_**I had thrown a party at my new massive house and Ally was helping me host it since it was just after the release of my latest album. There were so many people in my house, well I was living the life of the Pop Star. Endless women at my disposal I was literally on top of the world. I even got so lucky that Cassidy had just came back from her tour. We were both single and I thought the stars were going to align for us. I'm not going to lie, the second Cassidy walked into my door and I thought back into my life my heart stopped. She was even prettier than she was the first time I had a crush on her when we were teens. Her once strawberry blonde hair, is now a dark cherry red making her green eyes pop even more than they did when we were younger. Ally was walking around the party making sure that there wasn't a single person not having a great time and socializing while I was only focused on Cassidy and not my other guests.**_

_**She saunters towards me in her short tight green dress,** "Hey Blondie."_

_"Hey Cassidy." **She ran over to me in heels her chest bouncing up and down and making me instantly well hard. She gave me the biggest hug and kissed my cheek, God I was so happy to see her. I had kept in touch with her and kept track of her while she was on tour. And before you ask, no Ally had no clue that I was still in contact with Cassidy at all.**_

_"So, I'm back from tour now. How about that date?" **In my head, I was thinking Date, nah more like I wanna wham, bam, thank you mam ya. Dr. Smith rolls her eyes at me, **"At least that's what I told myself."_

_"Why don't I grab us a couple of drinks, we'll talk about that "date'. Ally may be hosting, but we're not together."_

_**I kissed her on the cheek and went over to the bar in my finished basement and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and two shot glasses. I walked back up to Cassidy and pour us the first shot and then a few more each. We started off sitting next to each other on my black leather couch, then at some point she ended up in my lap straddling me and before I knew it we were kissing. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want her doc, I'm a guy and I have needs. I got up to go use the bathroom and told Cassidy that I would be right back, on my way there I ran into Ally. **_

_"Austy, I'm feeling tipsy right now. But I think that everyone's having a great time because they all have drinks in their hands and I made sure that there are chips, pretzels and other snacks throughout the house. When are we going to spend some time together?" **She opened her arms and batted her long eyelashes at me and just wanted my attention, but I wasn't going to give it to her.**_

_"Not now Ally, I'm busy." **She looked how shall I put this not surprised at how I reproached her and with annoyance in my tone.**_

_"Oh." **That's all she said and she just walked away from me. I'm not sure where she went but at that point in time I really didn't care. I just wanted to go relieve myself, get back to Cassidy and get her in my bed. I finally got back to Cassidy and threw her over my shoulder and carried her into my bedroom while she held the bottle of Jack in her hands. We each took a few sips, put the bottle on the nightstand and things started to get hot and heavy between us. It took me a matter of seconds to get her dress off. And my shirt was on the floor in a flash, she was fumbling with the buckle on my jeans and pulled them down my legs. Once we were in just our underwear she pushed me onto the bed and started grinding against my member. She was kissing my neck and all down my chest, we were so into each other that I didn't even hear my bedroom door open.**_

_"Hey Austin, I just came in to use your bathroom since the others are all preoccupied and I really have to pee." **She stops dead in her tracks when she sees that I'm not alone.**__** "**I- I'm sorry, I'll just wait and use one of the ones downstairs. Okay." **God, the look on her face. She's not even my girlfriend at this point in time, the second I saw her extremely flushed and beyond uncomfortable I no longer wanted to bang Cassidy. I push Cassidy off of me, while Ally's still somewhat in the doorway, **"No Ally, you-you can use my bathroom it's not a problem."_

_"No, that's alright. I am sorry if I interrupted. I wasn't even looking for you honest, but yeah I'm going to go back downstairs now. Uh, you two have fun." **Ally refused to make any eye contact with me, walked out and just closed the door.**_

_"Cassidy.." **I was now stuttering like a drunk baboon,** "This isn't right. We're not right. I can't do this." **I quickly put my clothes back on.**_

_"What the fuck, Austin. You're not even with Ally so what the fuck is your deal? I've kept tabs on you. I know that you're a womanizer and literally have slept with everyone under the sun..but when I come back...you can't sleep with me?" **I could hear the frustration in her voice, but again I didn't care.**_

_"Cassidy, just get dressed. I'm going to find Ally."_

_"Whatever Austin, its always fucking been about Ally hasn't it?" **She yelled as I was already out the bedroom door.** "Don't ever bother calling me again."_

_**I searched my entire house and I couldn't seem to find her anywhere. I even asked Trish and Dez if they saw her and they said that they didn't. I decided to try one last place, my pool house which was dimly lit and grabbed the key out of my pocket, unlocked it. I find Ally there making out with and on top of some other guy on top of the pool table. Her dress was already up and past the top of her ass, she was wearing a thong so you get the picture. I stood there for a minute and watched her kiss the guys collar bone and nibble on his ear while he massaged her ass with his hands eliciting moans out of her.**_

_"What the fuck! Ally, get off of him."_

_**She looks up and smirks at me, grinds even harder into the guy and he runs his hands up and down the sides of her body.** "Fuck off Austin, go away. You don't own me. I'm not yours, you have no say in this! Go back and fuck Cassidy if you haven't already."_

_"No Ally!" __**I pause in the middle of my story that I'm telling Dr. Smith when something hits me, recollecting I guess you could call it.**_

_"Well, too bad Austin. I'm going to go home with Ethan over here. Let's go Ethan."_

_**Ethan, Ethan's mentioned in her letter. She grabs Ethan's hand and they both stand up. I grab Ally's arm,** "Ally don't."_

_"Get your fucking hands off me Austin! I wanted a hug and your attention before, but now that someone else shows interest in me.. Now, now you want me? FUCK YOU!" **She was now screaming at me, if she was tipsy well she's very sober now.** "I'm not going to just sit around and wait for you anymore. As you can see, this man, man, not boy over here wants me. I plan to let him do what a man does, to me." **I refused to let go of her, Ethan who's clearly a lot less drunk than I am takes my hand and pries my fingers off**_** Ally. **_"Hey man, just let Ally go you've put her through enough. I'm going to take care of her because unlike you I want to give Ally all of my time." **Once Ally's free from my touch she bear hugs Ethan and puts her head into his chest, then looks up and him and then turns around to face me while he's holding her in his arms.**_

_"Bye Austin, have fun cleaning up the mess after the party on your own. You shouldn't have too much to do being that I've been picking up beer cans, bottle caps, empty cups, empty beer bottles and have been throwing them away in a garbage bag the entire night. Not that you would notice because you are so fucking ungrateful."_

_**After Ally left with Ethan I just drowned myself in liquor the rest of the night. That's when my issues with alcohol really started and were kicked into high gear. She chose that song because it's basically what happened. **_

* * *

_**She may have went home with Ethan, but she let herself in the next morning and cleaned my entire house. She even came upstairs to my bedroom where I had three bottles of alcohol and took them off the nightstand's and told me to get out of bed. **_

_"Austin, I've had enough of this. What the fuck has happened to you? Get downstairs."_

_"But my head is pounding." **I whined to her, she was having none of that,** "Get down here or I'm dragging your ass out of that disgusting bed! Lord knows how many women you've fucked in that thing."_

_**I sigh,** "Ugh, I'm coming." **I stumble down the stairs holding my pounding head and see Ally pouring the alcohol down the drain.**_

_"Ally, what are you doing? You're wasting good alcohol." **She turns to look at me, she's crying.** "What's wrong?"_

_"Austin, I'm worried about you. You can't see that you're an alcoholic. You are so out of control. I can't even handle you anymore. You're sleeping with different girls constantly, drinking, what's next drugs?"_

_"No Baby!"_

_**She slams an empty bottle of vodka onto the sink causing it to shatter and cut her hand.** "I'M NOT YOUR BABY!" **I winced at her screaming, because she rarely gets that angry where her voice booms through the entire house.**_

_" We haven't been together in years, yet here I am hosting a party for you when I'm not even your fucking girlfriend, fiancee, or wife. I'm this pathetic woman who thinks that you would take five fucking minutes to not be so reckless and careless with my heart. If I mattered at all.I wouldn't have walked in on you ready to fuck Cassidy when all I had to do was pee since the other three bathrooms in the house were preoccupied. God Austin, Cassidy you always act stupid around her, let me guess you've been talking to Cassidy this entire time. I think that's even worse then what happened with Piper. I'm so beyond done."_

_**I tried so hard to process everything that she was saying, but it was proving extremely difficult because of my hangover."**Ally, I-I couldn't sleep with Cassidy."_

_"Oh, give me a fucking break Austin. The only reason you didn't sleep with her is because I interrupted you, unintentionally by the way. I don't want to hurt anymore Austin. I'm sick of this and I don't want to love you anymore. I can't keep doing this. I need space."_

_End Flashback_

* * *

"Well, that was quite the story. SO, basically Ally sees it as Cassidy was the one that got away. And you don't understand why Ally would have reacted the way that she did? Forgive me, but you really are something else."

**I ignore what Dr. Smith says and just continue, **"Ally then proceeded to sing some of the lyrics to _Scars_ to me, only the acoustic version of it with her melancholic but melodic voice. She broke down into tears when she sang,

_'__**Cuz you're drowning in the water**_

_**And I tried to grab your hand**_

_**I left my heart open**_

_**But you didn't understand**_

**_Go fix yourself!_**

**_I can't help you fix yourself_**

**_But at least I can say I tried_**

**_I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life_**

**_I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut_**

**_And my weakness is that I care too much_**

I tried to reach for her, pull her into my arms but she was resistant. I just wanted to comfort her and stop her pain even though I was the cause of it. She grabbed her keys off the table, took the key that I gave her off of her key ring and placed it on the counter, walked out the front door to my house leaving me stunned that she actually left me. After that morning, nothing between us has ever been the same. She actually didn't talk to me for a few months, it actually bothered me but it didn't stop the downward spiral that was already happening and everything just got so much worse. I started pouring vodka in orange juice in the mornings. But anyways, Ally picked this song because this is how she views our relationship and that's how I treated her. I may have not burned the house down, but I burned her metaphorically speaking and left scars on her heart. As for the rest of the letter-"

**Dr. Smith interjects,** "I'm sorry Austin, but our hour is up. We'll have to get to the rest of the letter at another point in time. It looks like you have a whole lot to think about though. I want you to think about this letter and keep reading entries in Ally's songbook. Try to stay out of trouble."

* * *

**I say Goodbye to Dr. Smith and walk out the door and down the hall to my room. I want to talk to and call Ally right now, but I don't know where she is on tour at the moment. I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling playing the constant track of my life right now Scars, but honestly it's Ally's song. She's the one that can relate to it, not me. I just want to feel close to Ally in any way possible even if the memory that it brings me back to is extremely painful.**

* * *

A/N: FYI we've only scratched the surface of this letter and the beginning of Austin's treatment. What did you get out of the flashback? Tell me what you got out of this therapy session. Honestly, I mean seriously...this is more from an intellectual and psychological standpoint I hope that you guys can see that. Please if you have any questions about this chapter don't hesitate. Review it up! xo


	40. Ooh LaLa Paris!

A/N: This chapter is for my bae's they know who they are. Love you darlings! xo

There's at least ten to fifteen chapters left, most likely more, but it all depends how I feel. Kindly be respectful and appreciate that I update frequently and don't take months or even an entire year to post the next chapter.

**DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT TRY TO RUSH MY STORY. :)**

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel or any place that truly exists in the world.

* * *

**Ally's POV - (Time Skip) A month later**

**I'm sitting on the terrace overlooking the garden where we're staying in Paris. It's around eleven o'clock in the morning and I'm just people watching. I see a couple walking on the stone walkway that leads up to the garden hand in hand. She's got a really cute light blue pea coat on with the prettiest blonde hair I think I have ever seen, her guy is dressed in a nice man's dress coat. I watch as they walk in the garden and keep looking at each other not caring if they're going to trip or not. The couple stop walking and just take both of their hands and just start spinning around and smiling towards the clear blue sky. They just look so happy and carefree. Their smiles are just so huge, he looks at her like she's the only one in the world for him, He's so attentive and I can tell that just by the way that he leans in towards her while she's talking to him. He pulls a single red rose out of his pocket, hands it to his girlfriend to hold. She inhales the flowers sent, giving him a very cute smile along with it. The blonde woman kisses her dark haired boyfriend and kisses him lightly on the lips as she places her arms around his neck. God, they're so cute. The couple then separate because the man takes his girlfriends hands from around his neck and puts a slight space between the two of them. He takes both of her hands in his as they just smile brightly at each other. I notice the dark haired man has been talking to her for a few minutes, man I wish that I could hear what he's saying to her. The blonde hasn't said a word, she's just listening to whatever it is that her boyfriend is saying, then he gets down on one knee and pulls a ring box out of his pocket while his girl holds her red rose in her right hand. It takes me a second to register that this guy is about to propose to his girlfriend, I can't help but being happy for the two of them. The blonde screams elated,** "Oui, je t'aime Peter. Bien sur que je veux t'epouser." **Peter that's his name, aw that's so sweet. It doesn't take a braniac to figure out that she probably said,** "Yes, I love you Peter. Of course I'll marry you." **I should mention that I brushed up on my French while we were in Ireland and Brazil in secret. She peppers his entire face with kisses, he pulls away to shout,** "Je t'aime Annabelle." **She's so happy that she's literally jumping up and down in stilettos nonetheless. That has to be the sweetest thing that I've seen while I've been in France the last few weeks.**

"I wish that was me. I want someone to love me that much." **I say out loud into the universe because I just wanted someone to hear it. ****Peter and Annabelle smile and kiss for what feels like eternity.**

**When he clears his throat and makes his presence known,** "Princess? Is everything alright?" **My boyfriend asks me, I have yet to turn around to look at him. So he takes this as his cue to walk up behind me and just wrap his arms around me. He looks over the railing to see what has me in a trance.**

"So, what did I miss with that couple you're watching?"

"Well, I just watched them get engaged."

"I love you, you know that?" **He whispers into my ear. I just smile to myself so I could put my hands on his arms that are wrapped around me. He then adds,** "I'm so crazy about you."

**It feels so amazing to be reassured, the best thing is. I don't have to tell Logan to do these things, he just does.** "I'm crazy about you too, Tiger."

"Hey we've been so busy while in France that we haven't had the time to actually enjoy France. We're in one of the most romantic cities in the world and I want to take advantage of being here with my amazing girlfriend."

"I'd love to explore France too. I've been dying to go see the Eiffel Tower."

"Then, that settles it. Whatever my girl wants she's going to get. Babe, I have some stuff that I need to do with Dez today. So, why don't I grab Jess and you girls can keep each other company while I'm gone?"

**We back away from the railing and he pulls me towards the door of the terrace leading into our room. That's right, I said our room it makes sense for us anyways. Logan hasn't been in his own actual hotel room since we've gotten together, if he has it's only been to get clothes to sleep in. I really like him being in the same room with me. Once we're in the doorway, he takes both his hands and puts them on the side of my face and literally just pours everything he has into our kiss. I feel my heart go boom clap and then my heartbeat just keeps going on and on. I swear our kisses lately have intensified and I'm not really sure as to why. It's more than just passion though, that much I am sure of. We pull away leaving each other almost breathless.** "Sounds good."

* * *

**Logan leaves and comes back with Jess a few minutes later. Logan opens the door and Jess comes bounding in like Tigger,** "Hey Ally!" **She runs over to me and gives me a bone-crushing hug.** "Jess, can't breathe!" **She pulls away,** "Oh sorry! I'm just so excited that we get to spend some quality girl time together." **I laugh,** "I'm excited that we get to have quality girl time too!

"We've been crazy busy."

**Logan gives me a quick kiss,"**Bye Princess. Have fun. Love you." **He winks at me and is then out the door. I turn my attention back to Jess.**

"Yeah, we had our concert in Toulouse a few weeks ago. Then, we were just in Bordeaux and the concert was amazing there. We've been rehearsing constantly and have very little down time. I feel bad that I spend my spare time with Logan, you've been spending a lot of your time with Dez."

"This tour has been non-stop and go, go, go for us. That's for sure. I get it. I get why you're spending so much time with Logan. He really does love you, you know. He never acted like that with Tracey. He'd never hurt you the way that Austin has. You just have to let him love you Ally, show you what it's like to have a man love you. I can tell that you and my cousin have grown a lot closer. Well, anyways Dez is funny and I really don't mind spending time with him."

"I'm trying Jess, I really am. I feel like it's getting easier to show Logan how I feel about him. I was wondering though.. Are you interested in Dez like that?"

"You're doing great expressing your feelings towards him. As for Dez, he's cute but he'll never see me the way that he looks at you. I don't want to be that girl that takes advantage of a guy who's healing. He just wants you to be happy. He's so selfless, but I won't even risk my friendship with him because it's not worth it. I want to find Dez a girl while we're on tour."

"I'm sorry Jess. I really didn't mean to hurt Dez, it's just you know Austin. It wouldn't be right, and maybe if Dez wasn't his best friend but that's not the case."

"Nothing to be sorry about Ally. You're amazing, honestly when I met both you and Dez I could sense that he was in love with you and I was right. My women's intuition is almost always spot on. Dez and I are much better off as friends. I just want to be single and hookup with random guys while on tour, it's fun. So I'll be Dez's wing-woman."

**A few hours have gone by, Jess and I decide to grab food across the street at the cute little cafe since the guys aren't back yet. We sit at a little table right in front.**

"Oh my god, it's Ally Dawson!" **We hear someone yell in French that's close the cafe.**

**Then, there are flashes going off and Jess and I just smile, work the camera wink at it, blow kisses etc. We start laughing, continue to eat happily with each other.** "We're the next Blair and Serena just watch." **She says to me.**

"Honestly, I'd be totally okay with that." **I laugh, the waiter brings our check, we pay and leave the cafe.**

"Alright, let's go Serena." **We walk arm in arm with our heads held high and across the street back to the hotel we're staying at.**

* * *

**Hours Later**

"So are you going to tell me what you and Dez did this afternoon?"

**He looks pensive for a moment, then just shakes his head.** "Are you almost ready babe?"

"It takes some time to look good Tiger."

"But, you always look beautiful."

"You're just saying that." **I poke him in the chest causing him to smile.** " I wouldn't keep poking me if I were you." **I keep poking him,** "Oh, why is that? Are you the Big Bad Wolf?"

**He pulls me onto the bed and starts to tickle me**, "Come on. Alright. Alright. I'm sorry handsome." **I laugh, he smirks leaning down and over me,** "Now, give me a kiss." **I smirk back at him,** "So demanding."

"Oh, you know that you love it." **I just smile as he helps me up, I give him a quick kiss before going to curl my hair loosely, finish putting on my makeup in the bathroom. It only takes me about a half hour to finish and I take off the whistle necklace, place it in a box. "**Logan, I'm ready." **I walk out to see my boyfriend in a light green dress shirt, a black tie. Ironically, the dress I'm wearing is the same color green, a-line style, off the one shoulder and flows out from the waist line to about the mid-thigh with sequins on the bodice. I take the small box over to the safe put in the combination unlock, put it in and re-lock it.** "We match."** I chuckle,** "Did you plan this?" **He smiles,** "Actually, no but it makes us officially a real couple when we match like we are right now. You look stunning princess."

"You look so handsome Tiger." **I give him a quick kiss as I grab my clutch and take his hand pulling us out the door and out of the hotel.**

"Where are we going?"

"To the Eiffel Tower."

"Seriously, I'm so excited." **I start pulling him towards the elevator which is down the hall from us.**

"That's not all."

"Not all?" **I cock my head to the side in confusion.**

"You'll see, just be patient."

**We finally make it down the elevator and walk out onto the street and walk a few short blocks to the Eiffel Tower. When we reach the Eiffel Tower I am just in complete awe. "**It's so aesthetically stunning. Look at how it lights up, it's even better than I could have ever dreamed it would be."

"Let's take some pictures I want to remember this."

**Logan pulls out his phone and he snaps a few selfies of us in front of the tower.** "Do you like these babe?"

"Yeah, but there's a particular picture that I want."

"Hmmm I wonder if it's the same one I want."

"Well, let's find out. Ask someone to take our picture." **He approaches a woman with her family, she accepts when asked to take our picture. We're standing in front of the Eiffel Tower and the woman is ready to take the picture,** "Are you ready to find out if we want the same picture in mind?" **I nod my head, as the woman snaps the picture Logan dips me back leaving my silver heel pointed out and kisses me for the picture. It was so sweet and I really can feel that he loves me. He pulls me back up, we both say in unison, **"I've always wanted a picture like this in front of the Eiffel Tower." **The woman kindly snaps a few more pictures of us just smiling for the camera, smiling while looking at each other. **"Can I post this one of us on Instagram?"

"Yes, because it's super cute." **I watch as he pulls up the app, crops the picture how Instagram insists it to be. The caption saying,** "I love her."** with a heart emojji, crown, and the couple kissing. **"Alright babe, well we have dinner reservations in about ten minutes just inside the Eiffel Tower. We should get going, but first I have something for you."

"A present? But why?"

"Just because."

**He pulls out a blue box from Tiffany's, before everyone flips a shit no it's not a ring box. It's definitely something that jewelry goes in though. He opens the lid, revealing a white gold heart key charm on a matching necklace. I start tearing up,** "It's gorgeous." **He wipes the stray tears from my eyes,** "Is my mascara running?"

"No sweetie, it's not. Can you please turn around babe? I want to put it around your neck."

"Now, everyone will know that you're really mine. Open your heart to me."

"I love it, Logan. Really, it's just you didn't have to do this."

"I wanted to, you deserve the best. I mean that." **He pulls me in for a kiss and we make out for a few minutes and arrive just in time for our reservation at Le Jules Verne, then puts the box back into his jacket he's been carrying. We go up to the second floor and are greeted by the hostess.**

"Bonsoir Monsieur et Mademoiselle."

"Nom s'il vous plait?"

"Je suis Logan Carter."

"Table pour deux." **The hostess grabs two menus and leads us to our table next to a window overlooking the river and the rest of the city. Logan pulls my chair out and pushes it in, I say thank you. He then goes to his own, sits down.**

"Wow, this is incredible. This is so romantic."

**He reaches over the table and kisses my hand,** "You're incredible."** I blush, look down while starting to play with my necklace key charm**. "When we're finished with dinner, I'm going to bring you to the very top of the Eiffel Tower."

**A server comes to our table and we order our drinks. I ordered a rose wine and Logan ordered a red bordeaux wine. When he returns with our drinks we say thank you, he takes our orders. The hostess comes up to our table and asks if we'd like a picture taken of us for us to cherish this memory, of course we say yes. She snaps the picture, a few minutes later our food comes. Logan and I just talk about how great everything has been on tour so far, there's something that I've been wanting to say but I want to hold off until a little later.** "You're amazing." **I say and he leans over the table and kisses me on the lips, the way he looks at me when he pulls away I swear I am going to melt. How on earth does he do that? He makes me weak in the knees when he looks at me like that.**

"Okay, the check is taken care of. Let's go beautiful."** He takes my hand interlocking ours and we start our quest up to the very top of the Eiffel Tower. **"Do we need tickets?" **He smiles, pulls the tickets out of his jacket.** "It looks like you have it all covered."

"I do. We're taking the lift all the way to the top and then back down when we want to." **We step into the glass lift encasing and Logan holds me from behind tightly while we take the lift all the way to the top of the tower. We reach the top of the tower, step off the lift and onto the top floor. When we get off we take a look at the city, **"Oh my God Logan. Look at this!" **I smile obviously pleased because what I'm looking at is none other than the city of lights illuminating the famous arc that you always see in movies. I start to shiver, Logan notices, and puts his jacket around my arms while standing in front of me. He puts his hands on my arms and warms me up, my hair blowing out of my face thankfully. I stand a little closer to him and put my forehead against his looking into his eyes. "**Logan."

"Yes Ally?" **He says as he smiles at me, but not with his teeth with his eyes.**

"I love you."

**He smiles at me,** "You have no idea how much I've been wanting to hear you say those three words. I love you too, babe. I'm going to the Champagne Bar, I'll be right back okay?" **He kisses me before walking off and getting us champagne, when he comes back hands me mine,** "Thanks Tiger. Cheers."

"To Us." **We clink our glasses and sip on our champagne when we're interrupted.**

"It's Ally Dawson and Logan Carter! Can we get some autographs and pictures with you guys?"

**I look at Logan and he smiles letting me know that he's up for it. ****I notice a guy a few feet away from us checking me out, Logan pulls me into his side protectively. ****So we take some pictures with fans. We must have taken at least thirty pictures and signed about fifty autographs each. I'm ready to take the last picture. A fan comes up to me, asks Logan to take the picture for him. He agrees, the guy around our age stands next to me, puts his arm around me, but low and I mean really low as in the very top of my ass low. I smile for the picture even though I'm slightly uncomfortable, but he's a fan it's not like he's some sort of stalker. I look at Logan and he has one of his fists clenched tightly to the side. So Logan takes the camera from the next guy and he gets closer than needed and kisses me on the cheek for the picture. "**You look amazing Ally."** The blonde fan says to me. This causes me to smile more especially since there are other guys checking me out. One guy whistles at me and Logan pulls me into him. He kisses me hotly, while this is normally a turn on I can't help but feel like he's trying to make a spectacle of this. The fans clear their throats, **"Uh, thanks Ally."**and I smile before they turn to leave. I push Logan away, **"What the hell was that about? You were fine about twenty minutes ago."

"Wait a minute, are you jealous?"

"Logan, they were just fans."

"Just fans? One guy had his hand at the top of your ass basically. He's lucky I didn't knock him the fuck out. Another guy was whistling at you and the last guy kissed you on the cheek for the picture. I'm not okay with that."

**I watch as he clenches his fists, and I take his fist and pull his fingers apart,** "I'm with you. I love you. I'm in love with you. Alright? You're the one that makes me happy." **I say to him trying to relax and calm him down.**

"I'm sorry babe, I guess I just got a little jealous. I don't like people treating you like you're some object because you're so much more than that to me. You're sexy and beautiful. I get that other guys are going to want you, but I want all of you. Every piece of you, even the broken parts I want to glue back together if you'll let me."

**He looks so vulnerable right now, I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss him roughly, biting his lip while we're kissing to allow me entrance while our tongues battle for dominance. I command him with my body to not stop kissing me as I wrap my legs around him, luckily for us there are very few people still up here. We keep kissing for a few minutes, pull away, **"Okay, we have to go now. You are killing me woman."

"Killing you? Why whatever do you mean? I thought I was just kissing you." **Before I know it Logan's carrying me over to the lift in his arms and we step in and descend the Eiffel Tower once more. When we reach the bottom you would think that he'd put me down, but that's not what happened. I'd say we walked, but no he more like ran with me in his arms back to the hotel while I was holding my heels in my hand with my arms wrapped around his neck. **

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A/N: Review it up! Let me know your thoughts! I personally loved this chapter.

Who saw those three words coming out of Ally's mouth in this chapter? Anyone? :-)


	41. Opening Up

_**THIS IS ALLY'S STORY! NOT AUSTIN'S! Austin's a huge part of my story, but Ally's the main focus. So, just in case you haven't been paying attention.. Austin was just given two solid chapters beforehand in regards to therapy and very little seemed to have appreciated it. Thank you to my loves who did! The drama is coming and for the umpteenth time LOGAN IS NOT GOING TO HURT ALLY. My Ally is strong, not weak she's not going to just go running back to Austin the instant that she sees him. You guys want a story focused solely on Austin? Then write it yourself :) You guys have to realize while it's fiction, I write from a more realistic POV, because that's just how I roll.**_

_**DO NOT RUSH MY STORY? K THANKS. :)**_

_**Ps. I am still very sick and feeling like total crap, so just bear with me.**_

Disclaimer: Ya de ya da! I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

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**Logan's POV**

**She said that she loves me, she's in love with me. Last night was amazing. I almost had to pinch myself because I didn't believe that she had said it. Did I feel like that's maybe how she felt? Yeah, sure. But there's Austin. There's always Austin, I can tell you without a doubt that he was Ally's first love. She doesn't even have to tell me because I can tell. I can tell because every time she gets off the phone with him she's crying, I can tell that a part of her heart is hurting. She's ready to move on, be with me. I know that it's only a matter of time before he shows up and tries to steal Ally's heart back. The question is... am I going to let him?**

_NO FUCKING WAY!_

**He's been nothing but careless and reckless with Ally's heart. She needs and deserves stability. I can give her that. Austin will have to give it everything he's got because if he thinks that she's just going to fall back into his arms. Well, he's got another thing coming to him.**

**I love her, I am the one that treats her right. When was the last time he treated her right? Oh, yeah I'm pretty sure it was about seven years ago. The great Austin Moon, the one that can't get laid enough and wants to be with multiple women instead of just one amazing one. My girlfriend. I feel sorry for him. I don't think that he ever realized how truly special Ally is. He couldn't see just how perfect she really is. He constantly took her for granted. Oh well, his loss is my gain. I've never felt this way with anyone else, but with Ally it's like she looks at me and she accepts all of me. Now, I may not be the perfect guy but at least I have owned up to my mistakes. Has Austin owned up to any of it? What I don't understand is why she wasted all those years on him. What kept her hooked like she was on a tight leash for so long? Did he make empty promises and lead her on in which she would believe that they would end up together no matter what? Did he promise her that he'd marry her and they would have a family? Other than the courage to get on stage what did Austin really give to her? Perhaps I'll never know for sure, I mean unless I ask. It's not like his name is taboo in my relationship with Ally, but he's definitely a sore subject. His name alone makes both Ally and I tense at the sound of it. It pisses me off to no fucking end that every single time she gets off the phone with him she's in tears. I don't understand why she could care so much about him, yet he doesn't appear to care about her feelings? It's fucked up. Oh, don't even get me started on him blindsiding her and firing her as his songwriter after all those years as partners? What the fuck could possess him to do that? Oh, that's right a hot girl claiming to be a songwriter. He's a fucking tool. I hate him for what he's done to Ally. I sure as hell don't respect him and honestly I have no idea how I'm going to react whenever he shows up. How am I going to handle that encounter with him? I'm going to want to bash his face in, but will I actually do that? I'm not entirely sure. It depends on how smug he looks when he magically appears and will probably do so at the most inconvenient time. Am I jealous of Austin? No. Unlike him I'm smart enough to know what I have, I have Ally who is a diamond in the rough, she's a precious gem. I'm envious of all the time he got to spend with her, he's had her in his life for years. Okay, well not recently as in while we've been on tour. He's in fucking rehab right now. That really does say a lot. Is he just trying to manipulate her into believing that he can change? Ugh, this is driving me fucking crazy.**

**You know what else is driving me a little nuts.. guys always checking out Ally. But man, those fans last night that she was taking pictures with what the fuck was that about? Yes, she is without a doubt drop dead gorgeous, but they look at her like she's a piece of meat. I don't want guys looking at her, talking to her like that. I was raised to respect women, which okay before Ally I wasn't the best that. Sure, I may have fallen or went down the wrong path, but this was all before Ally. I've been that type of guy in the past, so I don't know which annoyed me more... the guy who basically had his hand on her ass or the one that was kissing her on the cheek. Both got a little too close for comfort with her. Sure she smiled at them she's friendly, but she definitely wasn't flirting as a matter of fact even if I was overreacting it's only natural to feel jealous. I mean what man wants another guy to have his hands on his girl? You might be thinking what do you not trust Ally? ****No. I do trust Ally. ****What's funny is that I'm not typically the jealous type. Maybe it's because I haven't been in a real relationship for a while and while our "relationship" is new, Ally and I being together is not. I just put the time in to get to be with her and could you blame me for not wanting another guy to steal my girlfriend away? And before I get to prove that I'm an ideal mate for her, that we're right for each other, or good together. Sure, I'm a few years older, but in case you haven't noticed I have my shit together. I'm ready to settle down and get serious. I'd be lying if I told you otherwise. Which is why I guess at times I feel jealous and feel worried that she'll slip away if I don't hold on and appreciate her. I can't make the same mistakes with her...**

**Getting back to trust as an issue, I trust her. I don't trust guys! Probably because of the shit that happened with my cousin, but there's also another guy that I haven't mentioned yet. But, I'll get back to that later. Right now I need to get my feelings turned into lyrics and ultimately writing a song about it. It only took an hour and it was actually really easy for me to write this one.**

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"Tiger?" **Ally walks over to me while I'm sitting on the windowsill just looking out at the city.**

"What's up Princess?"

"Are you alright? You seem a bit off today." **There's concern in her voice, crap I didn't want to worry her. **"W-what makes you say that?" **Real smooth Logan. I can't believe I just chastised myself for that.**

"You're acting kind of spacey and that's not you Logan."

"I don't know how to tell you this, so I'm just going to need you to listen." **Bad bad bad choice of words. **

_No fucking kidding! Try again Casanova. _

**I was about to say something when Ally choked up a bit**_, _"A-are you breaking up with me or something? Oh God, you found someone else and you didn't tell me? Did you get someone pregnant? Did I do something wrong?" **She looked visibly upset. How could she possibly even think that, then I start answering the questions in my mind.**

_One. No. _

_Two. No. _

_Three. There's only one person I'd want to at some point._

_Four. No._

**I walk over and grab her face.** "No, babe. I'll never give you up willingly." **I pull her into my arms and run my arms up and down her arms, I can feel that she's got goosebumps because of my touch.** "Look at me, you're beyond beautiful. I don't want you to ever doubt how I feel about you." **She looks up at me and we both lean in slowly, and when our lips meet everything just starts to blur together, it feels like there's no gravity. Every time I kiss her there are sparks, but it's just so much more and truthfully indescribable. I could see -**

**I pull away from her reluctantly and she whimpers at the loss of contact between us. I take her hand and lead her to the couch in our suite here. I have her sit down on the couch, while I sit on the armrest and grab my I-pad so I can play the virtual piano to sing to her.**

Jealous: Nick Jonas

**Starting at the very beginning. I remember meeting Ally and Dez and I could tell he had a thing for her. It was the way that he was looking at her and I just didn't like it.**

_I don't like the way he's looking at you_  
_I'm starting to think you want him too_  
_Am I crazy, have I lost ya?_  
_Even though I know you love me, can't help it_

**Ally's looking at me trying to register what the lyrics are really saying. Right now she looks confused and she's looking at me like I'm inserting. **"Because of Austin? Or is this about Dez?"** When the realization hits her like a ton of bricks that is exactly what I could mean. But I was really referring to Dez I guess when I wrote that line in particular.**

_I turn my cheer music up_  
_And I'm puffing my chest_

**I can tell that she wants to chuckle at the thought of me puffing my chest like a caveman to assert dominance among other men, but she doesn't. **

_I'm getting red in the face_  
_You can call me obsessed_

**Okay maybe 'obsessed' isn't the right word. I love her and appreciate her, I love being with and around her. I'm not one of her fan boys from last night.**

_It's not your fault that they hover_

**_Because she's absolutely fucking beautiful._**

_I mean no disrespect_  
_It's my right to be hellish_  
_I still get jealous_

**She just frowns at the word jealous, but I continue to sing her this song because it's personal and I just need to let her know how I'm feeling.**

_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_

**A huge smile crosses Ally's face. That smile. God, I love that smile.**

_And everybody wants a taste_  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

**Ally has that confused look on her face. She tilts her head and it's really adorable. She doesn't think of herself as sexy, well I'm going to change that.**

_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_  
_And everybody wants a taste_  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

_I wish you didn't have to post it all_  
_I wish you'd save a little bit just for me_

**This brings me back to when we were in Ireland and even when we were in Brazil. How I basically stole her away from Collin when we were at the nightclub. When we were in Brazil playing volleyball Juan and his buddies were looking her up and down.**

_Protective or possessive, yeah_  
_Call it passive or aggressive_

**I acted passive/aggressive when all of that stuff happened with Ally and Dez. I guess you can say this is just a way of my reflecting on how I feel about her and my own insecurities I suppose. **

_I turn my cheer music up_  
_And I'm puffing my chest_  
_I'm getting red in the face_  
_You can call me obsessed_  
_It's not your fault that they hover_  
_I mean no disrespect_  
_It's my right to be hellish_  
_I still get jealous_

**_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_**  
**_And everybody wants a taste_**  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_  
_And everybody wants a taste_  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

**_You're the only one invited_**  
**_I said there's no one else for you_**

**When I think back on it. I guess I did basically say that... I meant Collin, Dez, Juan, hell even Austin? I knew that I could treat and love her the way she deserves to be loved.**

**_'Cause you know I get excited, yeah_**  
**_When you get jealous too_**

**As I sing that line, I was referring to what Ally called the chiquita banana that was flirting with me while I was supposed to be on a date with her and before that we ended up playing volleyball.**

_I turn my cheer music up_  
_And I'm puffing my chest_  
_I'm turning red in the face_  
_You can call me obsessed_  
**_It's not your fault that they hover_**  
**_I mean no disrespect_**  
_It's my right to be hellish_  
_I still get jealous_

_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_  
_And everybody wants a taste_  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

_'Cause you're too sexy, beautiful_  
_And everybody wants a taste_  
_That's why (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

_Oh (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_  
_Oh (that's why)_  
_I still get jealous_

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"Logan, are we okay? You're really that jealous?" **I look at her ashamed, she pulls me down so I'm sitting next to her on the couch. What I'm feeling is natural though. This is what a guy feels like when he's trying to establish a relationship with a woman he's in love with. Yet here I am and I still have my head hanging, but she wasn't having any of that. She lifts my head with her hand and turns me to face her. **

"I'm sorry, I just needed you to know how I feel." **She takes my hands and starts squeezing them to comfort me. She's just perfect and so right for me. **

**I can feel her hesitate before her mouth opens, **"Was that first line directed at me because of Dez or Austin?"

"I honestly don't know, maybe it was both but when I was writing it..Dez seems to fit that particular line."

"I don't want you feeling insecure. Am I doing something to make you feel this way?"

"You're just so beautiful, Ally." **I stutter out, how am I this lucky to have her?** "There are so many guys that you could be with instead of me. Why me? Why not Dez? Why not Austin or any of those many admirers yesterday?" **She looked pained when I said that.**

_Fuck._

"That's not what I meant." _Careful Logan._ "I mean, why did you pick me? What's so great about me?"

"I have a connection with you. There are so many things that I love about you. I love that you're genuine, sweet, caring, keep me in line and the list goes on. We balance each other out. I trust you. Don't you trust me?"

"I don't trust other guys. Guys, most guys only want one thing."

"I need you to tell me. What are you really afraid of? Do you not believe in us?" **She's imploring me to tell her and I know I have to because Ally values honesty above all.**

**I sigh and take a deep breath,** "You running back to Austin even though he doesn't deserve you. That you'll just leave me when I think my feelings can't intensify any_more, I'm proven wrong because _they already have and do on a daily basis. Ally, what I feel for you is real and unlike anything I've ever felt for anyone. Of course I believe in us. I'm scared and I'm trying so hard not to be. I don't -_"_

**She cuts me off by kissing my cheek and then pulling away to look into my eyes,** "Nothing makes me happier than being in your arms. What do I have to do to prove to you that I'm stronger than you think I am, that I'm not going to fall to pieces or fall so easily back into Austin's arms? I don't want to keep having the same conversation with you. Austin's not in our relationship. Our relationship is just me and you. He shouldn't factor in anywhere, it's troublesome that you are this worried. It's like..." **She pauses, I see tears well up in her eyes,** "you don't believe I'm in love with you."

**I take my hand, put it on her cheek and rub it gently causing her to look at me,** "No, no, no! Of course I believe you. It's just so hard because you have history with him. I'm really trying, but at times I'm just feel like I'm the next guy. It's nothing that you've done it's just I can't explain it fully."

"You're more than just the next guy, you're my guy. I wouldn't mind if you were the last guy."

**She then climbed onto my lap, hiking up her dress and grinding her core against mine. **_Let her do this she wants to show you, so just let her._** She pulls my shorts down and my ready to go cock out of my boxers. I see that she's not wearing any panties and that turns me on even further. She kisses the shell of my ear and blows into it, which is seriously and I mean seriously hot. I grab her hips gently as she places herself in a position to let my dick slide into her. "**I love you." **She says staring into my eyes as she says it and then my girlfriend rides me so slowly that it's almost painful and likely to give me blue balls but I let her because it's Ally's way of making love to me. The entire time I'm inside of her she doesn't stop kissing me, now I see that light that Dez was saying that she had lost. It's only a matter of time before we both come undone in blinding ecstasy, she gets off and I pick her up bridal style and carry her to the bed. **

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_Ally's fallen asleep, so now I'm just left with my thoughts holding my treasure. Which reminds me... back to what I was thinking about earlier. People who have fucked me over, why I have trust issues. Right well there's all that shit that went down with my cousin, but there's another guy I haven't mentioned yet. He fooled me into thinking and believing that he was actually my friend, then his "best friend" fucked my ex. Some friend he turned out to be. Ironically, I met this guy while I was in the underground fight-club. He's very built and yet lean at the same time, you know how a fighter is supposed to be. Being comfortable with my own sexuality I can tell you that he is what women would consider good though he's a fighter, he has that pretty boy face, looks can be deceiving. He acts like a bat-shit hyena in the ring. He's extremely and I mean extremely dangerous. __He came from a fucked up family, but I didn't know that until much much later.__So, my so called friend he set me up with my ex. Everything was going great until I caught her having sex with his best friend and then things just went south from there. __Anyways, this kid was a total fucking psychopath. He was the type to immediately fly off the handle when he was going through some sort of hardship and there were times that there were things that would set him off like triggers of a gun and he'd flip tables and knock guys out just out of sheer force. He was the definition of couldn't keep his shit together. . I watched this kid fight in the ring and he was beyond reckless, he pulls some of the craziest punches I've ever seen. There was one time he was easily into the very last round with the guy he was fighting that he nearly killed him and took his hands, opened them, not only punched the guy in the jugular but was ready to rip his throat out. It was in my benefit to befriend him because he was the Alpha male in our fight club and was not someone that anyone within our fight-club was willing to challenge or fuck with. He knew how to push buttons, he would make comments about the guys mothers, sisters, or girlfriends, wives, but he drew the line when it came to kids. He would never put a hand on a child and harm them. He was very confrontational and started doing drugs. By that I mean when I was around he was only smoking weed, but then from what I've heard through the grapevine he became an alcoholic. With his family history though none of that surprised me. Apparently he got completely unhinged between smoking weed and drinking. He's extremely smart though, is not to be fucked with as I've already mentioned. You see he took the time to do the research and look up personal information about his opponents. Most guys, like myself would just observe how the fighter fights in other matches, but not this crazy mother fucker. You know the kind of guy that appears to be calm on the outside, but is literally a ticking time bomb. He's got a temper like I've never seen before. So, to say this guy is volatile is an understatement. But here's the catch...he's completely mentally unstable and the last time I saw him he was running from the cops and heading to Florida. Why he would tell me I'll never understand. It's not like we were on the best of terms after all the shit that went down with my ex._

**His name?**

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A/N: Cliffhanger. OHHHHHHHHHH! Dun, Dun, Dun. Who could possibly be that's dangerous? ;-)

Review it up! You guys are the best! xoxo :)


	42. Things Escalate Quickly

A/N: Dun, Dun, Dun.

This is me making good on my promise since the bae updated her story last night. Thanks for the reviews from the last chapter darlings! xoxo

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

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**Trish's POV**

**There's so much going on lately. I don't even know where to begin. I have been searching forever to find Austin a new songwriter and I haven't had any luck whatsoever. I'm beyond fucking annoyed at this point, it just feels hopeless. That asshole, fucking ungrateful prick. Ally was the best songwriter in the business he could have ever gotten, he throws it all away for some pussy. Typical Austin.**

**I'll never forget the morning Mimi called me and told me that she had checked Austin into rehab. He's been there about a month and a half but probably more than that, and originally he was only supposed to stay there for a month. Obviously I haven't really been in contact with him, because Mimi said that she told Austin to give Dez, Ally and I the space that we needed and to focus on him. I'm not even remotely upset about that. I really do miss my best friend.**

**My phone starts to ring and plays Ally's song, Redial.**

_You always know_  
_Who I'm talking about_  
_When I'm talking about 'You-know-who'_

_And you always like_  
_The things I like_  
_When you don't like the things I do_

_When I hop a fence_  
_It makes no sense_  
_'Til I have the evidence with me_

_When I need to get away_

_Who do I call_  
_When I need to hear 'Hello'_

"ALLYCAKES!"

"TRISHYKINS!"

"We're so lame! You would think that we're that annoying couple that can't get enough of each other."

**I start laughing, then continue on with what I had planned to say anyways.**

"I miss you soooooooo much!"

"I miss you, too. I really wish you were here with us."

"I know, me too but we both know the only reason I'm not." **I grumble into the receiver.**

"H-have you seen him?" **There's hesitancy in her voice and it sounds like curiosity and concern?**

**I sigh,** "No, because I still can't find him a new songwriter. I feel like I'll never find him another one anywhere as good as you."

"Trish, you know that he's in rehab right?"

"Mimi told me. She said that he's giving us all space. Me. You. Dez."

**I can hear the exasperation in her voice,** "Not me." **Ally sighs and it sounds like she's going to cry. Fucking Austin.**

"Alls. You can talk to me, you know? I'm your best friend."

"I mean he was doing so well. He wasn't calling me, was seemingly respecting my wishes, I felt like I couldn't be happier. Every time I get off the phone with Austin...I'm crying Trish. I'm just so tired of it, it's emotionally draining on me, but it takes a toll on me mentally too. Here I have this amazing guy, I'm so happy with him and Austin just UGH! Of course when things are going great with Logan and I.. He takes it upon himself to call me. It's like a constant reminder that he's just always there, not ever truly going away. I waited for him for YEARS to get his shit together. YEARS, Austin only wants me when someone else shows interest in me. Need I remind you, Gavin?" **I can hear the pure annoyance and also sadness in her tone.**

"Alls, breathe. I wish I could hug you right now."

"Trish, I may be upset and not want to talk to him and Dez said that he'd call Austin but I don't know if he has yet. Something's not sitting right with me." **She pauses briefly, I know it's because she's thinking of how to word whatever she's going to say next.** "Can you go see him? I know that I'm asking a huge favor, that you're just as upset with him as I am. Okay, maybe I'm more upset than you are. I just can't shake this feeling.. **We both sigh,** "The first of multiple times he called me he mentioned that there are dysfunctional characters there and one that keeps messing with him. It's like the guy has some sort of Vendetta against Austin. I don't know if he did something to piss the guy off or what, but basically he said he already got into a fight with the guy."

"Over?" **There's very little that could set Austin off, so I'm pretty sure what makes him tick is Ally. The guy had to have said something to Austin about Ally. He's protective of her, he always has been. Even when he shouldn't have been, he may be a womanizer but he does care about Ally.**

"Over me." **She says and sounds guilty when she really shouldn't, besides it's not like she was there. I hesitate for a moment, he was a total dick to me.**

"Al, I'm sure you're sitting there blaming yourself but you're not there."

"P-please T. I just- **She takes a deep breath,** I don't know I need to know that he's alright. I think I want to at least be friends with him, if he pulls himself together. I'll feel better if he's okay and stuff. Also, I'm coming home for a week or so, for a mini break on my tour."

"When?!" **I scream in excitement and start jumping up and down in the grocery store, people are staring. I just glare at them with **_Fuck Off,_** then resume my happy dance.**

"Well, you should already know this since you're my manager, but next week. I'm coming home next week!" I can hear that she's excited, but..

"Are you scared to come home?"

"How is it that you always know what I'm thinking?" She asks me.

"We're best friends. You're my soul sister. Speaking of, OH MY FUCKING GOD, I'VE LOST TRACK OF TIME. THE DAYS JUST BLUR TOGETHER WITHOUT YOU HERE. I'M SUCH A HORRIBLE FRIEND! I should've known that you're coming back to Miami briefly."

"No, you're the best. Don't be so hard on yourself." **The sincerity in Ally's voice, she's really incredible.** "So, will you go check out if Austin's doing okay? I'm sure Mimi could probably tell you if he has a set visiting day."

"Fine. I'll go check on that dickhead, but I'm only doing this for you because I love you."

"Love you, too. Speaking of Love." **Ally says and I can hear the smile in her voice when she wants to tell me something. It was the same tone she had years ago when she said, **_"I like Austin!" **but this isn't about Austin and honestly I'm hoping it's about that hottie that adores her.**_

"Spill."

"Logan is in love with me, and I actually just told him that I'm in love with him."

"Oh my god! What?! When?! That's amazing Ally! I want details. Finally, a man that's worth your time. He's making you happy right? Because if he's not I'll kick his ass."

"He's incredible! He might be-" **I can hear her smiling and she sounds like the Ally I've known all my life. What's that nickname Dez and I call her when she's smiling and truly happy? Oh right,** "Wonderful Sparkles." **Ally laughs, **"Well, I think that they are sparkling again after all these years and all because of Logan. I have so much stuff to tell you."

**I can barely contain my excitement because it sounds like my best friend is finally happy. She hasn't been happy truly happy since we were teens.** "Please tell me you're bringing him home when you come on your break."

"Well, I haven't asked him yet, but yeah." **And here's where she's going to say,** "I'm thinking about it."

"I want to meet him Ally, he needs my seal of approval if you're going to be serious with him."

"Of course, yes MOM!"

"HEY!"

"I'm only messing with you. I love that you're like an overprotective big sister, and Dez is my overprotective big brother. Which... never mind I'll just tell you everything when I see you."

"T minus seven days and counting. So, when I go to see Austin do you want me to tell him that you're coming home?"

"Um? I'll leave that up to you."

"That's not very helpful Alls." **I pause, she's leaving this up to me. I have no idea what I'm going to do or say yet. **"What time is it in Paris right now anyways?"

"It's 4:30 p.m. I'm going to have to eat in a little while and then get ready for my show tonight."

"It's only 10:30 a.m. here at home. I'm going to cry when I see you, you know?"

"I'll probably cry when I see you too. How's Jace?"

"He's good, he misses you too though. It would be nice to not take care of train-wreck Austin, not literally since he's in rehab but we were the night of the fiasco at the nightclub. I want him to pull it together, for himself, for you, for all of us."

"I know you, just don't be too hard on him when you see him. Okay?"

"This coming from the girl whose heart he's stomped on millions of times." **I deadpan and Ally's immediately silent.** "You're a far kinder soul than I am, you're one in a million Alls. I need to go though, make breakfast for Jace. It's Saturday and he's not working for once."

"Okay T. Give Jace a hug and kiss for me on the cheek. Love you."

"Love you More, Allycakes. Go bang that hot boyfriend of yours, I can't wait to meet him."

**I hang up with Ally, and hearing her voice just makes me miss her more than I already do. I love that I have Jace, but I'm not close with any other females other than Mimi and Ally. I've always been content with our little click, but maybe I'll make a few more friends soon. Austin. Ugh, I can't believe that I have to go check on him now.**

* * *

_You promised Ally._

**I know, I never break my word. Should I text Austin? Or just call Mimi and find out and take it from there?**

_Call Mimi._

**I'll shoot Mimi a quick text instead.**

* * *

**To Mimi from Trish:**

_Hi, I know that its been a while. I want to see Austin. Does the facility he's at have a specific day for visitors?_

**_To Trish from Mimi:_**

_It's understandable. Yes, they allow visitors on Sunday._

**_To Mimi from Trish:_**

_Can we go together?_

**_To Trish from Mimi:_**

_Of course sweetie. It would be my pleasure. Mike and I were just there last Sunday._

**_To Mimi from Trish:_**

_Don't tell Austin. I want him to actually talk to me and not try to hide._

**_To Trish from Mimi:_**

_Don't worry. I'll let you talk to him in private if you need to talk to him about something. I'll see you in a few days, I'll pick you up._

**_To Mimi from Trish:_**

_Thanks Mimi._

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**All I do when I'm in my room here is think and write, and think and write, listen to music on my phone. I decide to go look at Instagram and in recent searches go to my #AllyDawson.**

**I scroll down the thumbnails and see a picture of** **Ally and Logan in front of the Eiffel Tower. I look to see the picture tagged, it's under Logan's userid. logancarter**

Caption: I love her.

**WHAT IN THE FUCK IN THIS! I slam my hand on my bed. I let out the loudest scream!**

_Well, she told you that she and Logan were official. She told you that you would have to figure it out yourself how Logan feels about her.. It looks like Logan did the work for you._

I scroll through the comments:

**_I KNEW IT! Ever since they announced it at the concert after they sang together._**

**EXCUSE ME.**

I keep reading more comments.

_**Logan and Ally forever! OTP!**_

_**Oh my gosh! This is the cutest thing ever! Love y'all.**_

_**Treat her better than Austin did. I hope you guys get married and have beautiful babies.**_

* * *

_Maybe we should get out of this particular picture?_

**I then go to Ally's instagram and see a picture of her sitting in a room filled with flowers. And in the one before that she's standing in the doorway I'm guessing when the picture was snapped and she put her hands up to her face.**

Caption: They're absolutely beautiful. Thank you Logan. with three heart icons next to it.

The posts below the picture...

**_Oh my god! Please get married!_**

**_Looks like someone is a hopeless romantic!_**

**_He totally loves you. I'm calling it right now!_**

_Have you seen enough yet?_

**SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'LL STOP WHEN I THINK I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.**

**I decide to exit out of Ally's instagram and go back to just her userid and check out that video I had passed by before. I click open the video, can see that this is from when she was still in Brazil. At first it's only Ally on stage, then I see her pull Logan out with her, she starts singing to him.**

_Maybe you should stop the video?_

**I don't listen to my conscience and keep watching.**

_Past loves_

_They never got very far_

_Wall's up_

_Made sure, I guarded my heart_

**The video stops, but I see there's more next to it.**

_Are you sure this is a good idea Austin?_

_No point in even trying to fight this_

_It kinda feels like it's love_

_Haven't you seen enough?_

**What Ally loves Logan? But, the next thing I see in the video is Logan and Ally singing and harmonizing together while holding hands.**

_It hurts doesn't it? I tried to warn you, against your better judgment you ignored me._

**Then, the song ends. The venue goes crazy where they're at, chant 'KISS HER!' He pulls Ally into his arms and kisses her passionately. On stage. Am I really seeing this?**

**I watch him pull away, pull her into his side.** "ARE YOU GUYS OFFICIAL?"

**Did I just hear that? **

**They both nod, he kisses her forehead.**

* * *

**I'm literally five seconds from flipping my entire bed over right now. I open the door to my room and storm out into the hallway.**

"DR. SMITH!" **I scream and I'm sure that people have come out of their rooms. I see that Dr. Jones has come out to see what's going on.**

**I'm stopped when there's a tall, brawny figure in front of me. One person that I absolutely can't stand.** "What's the matter pretty boy? Did you see a video of Ally and Logan fucking?"

**I try to keep my composure, but I've already warned this guy to not fuck with me. I've warned him to not say a God damn word about Ally, he doesn't heed my advice.** "I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY COLE!" **I glare at him, while Jeff, Jordan, Kylie and Kenzie just watch and wait to see what's going to happen.**

"Uh, uh. I don't think so." **He moves to stand in front of me again blocking my way to the doctors, I'm losing any patience that I have.**

"What's your fucking problem anyways? Were you cheated on? Dropped on your head? Walked in on your best friend fucking your girl?"

"FUCK OFF, MOON!" **He lunges at me and tackles me to the ground. Huh, whatever I said set him off. He starts throwing punches left and right, somehow I manage to roll us over and get a few good punches in. We stagger to our feet and he throws me over a table and my back hits the wall. I get up and lunge at him again, this time give him a mean right hook.** "AUSTIN! COLE! STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" **I hear Dr. Jones yell, but I could care less.** "What gives you the fucking right to talk about Ally like that? You sick twisted fucking bastard. What the fuck is your problem with me?!"**I jab him in the stomach,** "That's for me to know and you to find out!" **He growls,** "I have nothing to lose. You do." **I punch him again right in the cheek,** "I've already lost the best thing in my life. I have nothing else to lose you FUCK! Now, I'm going to continue to beat on you until you get it through your thick fucking head to stop talking about My Ally like that. **He scoffs,** "Your Ally? She's with Logan you fucking tool. He's the one fucking her, not you. Say, when was the last time you fucked that hot piece of ass?" **I yell,** "THAT'S IT!"**shove him as hard as I can into the wall. He retaliates, pushes me through a glass window leading out to the pool. **"YOU'RE A FUCKING LOSER, MOON. YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR EVEN TRYING TO GO ROUNDS WITH ME. JUST WAIT. I'LL GET YOU WHERE IT HURTS YOU MOST."

**That's the last thing I hear and see before everything goes black.**

* * *

**A/N: Read & Review darlings! xoxo**

**THE DRAMA HAS JUST STARTED. To quote Sadie on Awkward, **"You're Welcome." ;-)


	43. Excruciating Pain & Broken Glass

**A/N: I'M IN THE BEST MOOD EVER! RAURA IS REUNITED AND I'M JUST SDFNHKSJSHJSRTJHSTRHJRSTH! MY HEART IS BURSTING! I've been smiling like an idiot all day because they're just so cute, I'm thrilled that they're back with the cast!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**I open my eyes to see someone shining a light into them. I groan in pain thinking to myself what happened? A little disoriented at first, then realization hits. Oh, that's right Cole did. All I saw was Red. He likes to push my buttons when it comes to Ally. I'm laying on the ground, try to sit up when I'm pushed back down.**

"You can't get up just yet." **It sounds like Dr. Jones's voice.** "Do you know where you are? **That's definitely Dr. Jones's voice.**

"Rehab?"

"What's the last thing that you remember?"

"Being thrown through a glass window, hitting the concrete out by the pool."

"Austin, we're going to need to get you looked at."

"How long have I been unconscious?"

"At least an hour."

"I'm gonna-" **I start seething with anger, it's like he can tell that I'm ready to beat the living shit out of Cole.**

"Oh, no you are not! Dr. Smith is dealing with Cole as we speak. I've told you already that we don't tolerate violence. Now while I understand that Ally seems to be a trigger to set you off being as love with my own wife as it is. I can see, feel and empathize with how you feel, but you're here to get better and while I want to believe that you are well, tonight proved otherwise. That's strike two, Austin from you both. One more incident and we're going to have to ask you to leave."

"But I have to tell you what's going on and what started this."

**Dr. Jones sighs,** "Very well, but I heard Cole running his mouth about Ally to you. Between the two of us, I probably would have decked him myself if he talked about the woman I'm in love with like that. You can tell me what he said in detail though if you wish. Tell me, do you care if I have you checked out physically by another doctor?" **I shake my head,** "That's fine."

"Good, because he's on his way as we speak. You're pretty um, fucked up looking at the moment?"

** I feel my eyes widen,**"Fucked up looking?"

_Shit._

**I hear the door open, hear Dr. Jones greet someone,** "Dr. Bailey please come in."

**The doctor comes in with a bag filled with the necessary medical supplies.** "Mr. Moon, I'm going to have to sit you up right now."

**The doctor lifts my shirt,** "Well, that Cole certainly has done a number on you."

"Um? Feel free to fill in the blanks for me, why is my back throbbing?"

**Dr. Bailey opens his conversation with, "**Austin, there are glass shards in your back, and near your shoulder blade as well."

"Dr. Jones, could you please hand me my tweezers out of my bag?" **He does as requested by Dr. Bailey.**

"I need you to take a deep breath Austin. I'm going to start taking the shards of glass out of your back."

"Shards?"

_FUCK. FUCK. FUCK._

"Yes, there are at least five huge shards sticking out of your back."

**I gulp,** "O- okay."** I take a deep breath, Dr. Bailey gives me a clean towel to bite down on. I groan in pain, he takes the first piece out, places it on a towel. He tells me that he's going to start on the second one, but there's a jagged edge and it's not going to come out easily.** "Is that one deep?"

"No, it's well-"

"It's what?! Give it to me straight doc."

"This one is very close to your spinal cord. So I need to be extremely focused and methodic when taking this one in particular out. If I do it wrong or too fast, your spinal cord could be severely damaged and leaving you paralyzed."

"P-paralyzed?"

"Yes, now I need you and Dr. Jones to not say a word. I can't have any interruptions."

"Go close and lock the door Dr. Jones."

**After about five minutes Dr. Bailey has come up with a plan, knows how he's going to pull the piece of glass out of my back.** "Austin, this one is going to hurt."

"Ahhhhh! Mother fucker! What the fuck! Jesus fucking Christ! That bastard I swear to-"

**I can hear Dr. Bailey rapidly losing his patience with me.** "Mr. Moon, I know that you're in pain but please try to control yourself. If you move around too much you're going to cause the wound to" **He didn't finish what he was saying,** "Well now you're bleeding and profusely, you've opened the wound stretching it to the right. You're lucky that it didn't stretch to the left. So I'm going to have to sterilize the wound and you're going to need stitches there." **He grabs his medical kit with the necessities to stitch up the wound. He walks over to the sink, in the bathroom off of Dr. Jones's office and says he needs to wash the equipment and he'll be right back. Dr. Bailey returns,** "The equipment has been sterilized properly and I'm going to need to start stitching you up Austin." **He puts on a pair of surgical gloves that he takes out of his medical case.** "I'm going to dress your wound with rubbing alcohol, to clean and irrigate the wound, but first in the middle of the wound it's jagged so I need to use my scalpel to straighten your skin. This is going to hurt, but it will keep you from getting any sort of infection." **I feel Dr. Bailey put the rubbing alcohol on my wound near my spinal cord. It feels cold at first and then burns and stings like a mother fucker.** "I will make this as quick, precise and as painless as possible." **I can't believe I'm being stitched up because that asshole said something about my Ally. I had to defend her honor. I'm really getting fucking sick of him. While I'm thinking to myself. I see out of the corner of my eye that Dr. Bailey now had a suture and is starting to stitch me up.** "THIS FUCKING HURTS LIKE A BITCH!"

**Dr. Bailey continues stitching ignoring my foul mouth.** "I'll be done in a few seconds. There, the worst part is over. Now I need to just pull the last three out and dress the wounds if any. Hopefully you won't need anymore stitches, but I won't know until I pull them out of your back."

"Can I see these pieces of glass once they're out of my back and shoulder?"

"Not right this second as I take them out, but here." **Dr. Bailey hands me pain relief medicine along with a glass of water that Dr. Jones has walked out of the room to go get.**

**Dr. Bailey pulls one of the three out in a matter of seconds, the other two in a few minutes apart.** "Well, I'm just going to clean the remaining wounds. They're not deep and will heal much faster than your other two wounds. Consider yourself extremely lucky."

**Dr. Jones clears her throat,** "Austin, you have severe bruising on your back but also on your front torso."

**Dr. Bailey checks my breathing when he lifts my shirt, I wince in pain.** "I'm going to press here." **He presses by my ribs,** "Does that hurt?" I wince even more, " I need you to try and twist your torso as well." **I wince once more, Dr. Bailey says,** "Austin, you've cracked your ribs."

_Well, that's fucking great._

"You need to keep ice on your ribs for about twenty minutes at a time. I'll give you a prescription for Percocet. Do you have someone that will willingly fill your prescription and bring it to you?"

"Yes."

"Okay good." **He writes out a prescription on his pad for a fifty count, then signs and hands it to me.** "You're going to have to make sure you sleep, rest. No strenuous activity. Understood?"

"For how long?"

"Four to six weeks."

"I'm sorry. What? Four to six weeks? I'm a Pop Star. I can't afford to not do what I love for four to six weeks!"

"I wouldn't care if you were Zeus himself, if you were then you wouldn't be in this mess you've gotten yourself into. Let me put this in terms you can understand. No sports or sex for six weeks. No dancing. No strenuous activity of any kind. Also, you must stay hydrated and breathe deep to avoid any lung infections causing further pain. You should use heating pads to reduce pain and keep yourself relaxed. I will make sure to tell both doctors that Cole shouldn't be allowed anywhere near you."

"Thank you, Dr. Bailey."

**Dr. Bailey gets up and says goodbye to Dr. Jones and he walks out the door saying nothing further on his explicit directions to follow in order to help heal my ribs.**

* * *

**Dr. Jones is the first to speak,** "Now that we are alone, Austin. You said that you needed to talk to me or Dr. Smith? You're obviously still upset so start talking."

"It's not that simple."

** He sighs,** "Yes, it is. Dr. Smith had said that you were making progress, but I don't see any if you refuse to talk to me."

"You called out for both Dr. Smith and myself. You sounded angry, if you could have seen the look in your eyes when Cole confronted you and well, you are where you are now. So."

"Ally." **He nods his head in understanding.**

"Now, don't get angry Austin. While you were unconscious, I went and retrieved Ally's songbook from your room which had this in it." **As soon as he says that a piece of paper falls to the floor in his office. I go to pick it up, I know that it's letter Ally wrote me.**

"How could you?"

"Austin, I think that in order for you to fully understand what is in that letter you need to read and internalize the entire thing. Just like Dr. Smith told you. I know about the song _Scars_ Ally references it, I'm up to speed with what you have covered with Dr. Smith."

"Take a deep breath and just pick up after the song lyrics were written in the letter." **Dr. Jones tells me and I show that I understand by starting to read the letter:**

_The lyrics speak for themselves especially I tear my heart open just to feel. I'd rather be completely numb than love you the way that I do. That being said, your behavior yesterday was absolutely atrocious. What were you thinking when you punched Dez? Then, you proceeded to say everything to me under the sun except for what matters._

**I pause,** "Austin?"

**I sigh, he says,** "What do you think she meant by those words?"

"She's angry that I punched Dez." **He cocks an eyebrow, "**My best friend."

"I see. Care to elaborate."

"I caught him kissing Ally."

"And what happened before that? Did you two fight have an argument?"

"Yes, we did. I fired her as my songwriter. Dez was there comforting her, he kissed her, _my Ally_, the one that could pretty much be the only one for me and my best friend, MY FUCKING BEST FRIEND since Childhood was kissing her. Of course I fucking lost it. They both betrayed me."

"So, Ally cheated on you?"

"No, but I mean."

"You need to explain things to me in order for me to help you. Ally and I broke up a long time ago."

**I continue to read on:**

_I'm not going to come rushing back into your arms. I'm going to be extremely candid with what follows next. You don't love me Austin. You are not in love with me, you just love the idea of being with me. But even still your words are just empty promises. Excuse after excuse of us not being together because you didn't want it to impact our songwriting negatively. We're grown adults now, but the impacting the songwriting that's not the real reason now is it? Honestly, the issue is you. You're a man whore. You traipse around acting completely narcissistic and like you are God's gift to women. Well, you're not. You want to fuck some groupies? Go right ahead. I'm not stopping you, and honestly I really don't care what you do from this point on. _

"I've lead this life of the Pop Star only I've been acting more like a Rock Star and I lost control. I was sleeping with multiple women, drinking, doing drugs you name it. I have more money than I know what to do with."

**He looks up and just angry at what he's heard. I thought they're just supposed to listen, but maybe this is really what I need to hear.** "I'm going to be very blunt with you. You don't own Ally. She's not your girlfriend, she's not your fiancee. She's not your wife. It sounds like you wanted to have your cake and eat it too."

"Dr. Jones."** He puts his hand up,** "Just keep reading. She believes that you don't love her, quite frankly I can tell you've treated her poorly."

_I may love you, but I really don't like or even respect you now. Not in the way I used to, before you betrayed me. I hope that your new floosie songwriter whoever she is was worth destroying our friendship and our poor excuse for whatever the fuck you want to call our relationship was. Look at what you did to me, you're no longer good for me. I can't believe that I actually thought that you and I would end up together. Truth is, I should have walked away from you years ago and gotten involved with someone else. Even Elliott, Ethan and Dallas would have been better, probably have treated me better._

"So, it sounds like you blindsided her? Is that what happened? Because it doesn't sound like the real issue is the women Austin, sure they contribute to it, but it sounds much deeper."

"Ally had been my singer and songwriter for years. I made a promise that we would always be friends and partners always."

"You broke that promise Austin."

"It sounds like she has nothing left to fight for. I destroyed her emotionally and wreaked havoc on her heart. I was so.." **I trail off, remember the word Ally used, **"_careless_."

**As I read the very last part of Ally's letter, things start clicking together in my mind.**

_Loving you has only brought me pain especially since you have been stringing me along for years now. I was foolish to believe that you genuinely cared about us and you wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with you. I have put you first for so long, and now I'm putting myself first. I really don't care if you need me, because I don't need you to be successful. You need to let me go. I used to always believe in us and that we'd be **a chain that never breaks, or a truth that never bends, and that you would be the glue to take my broken heart and put it back again**, but I don't any longer. So thank you for setting me free, giving me the opportunity to be happy doing what I love. Performing and being on stage, that's the one thing I can actually thank you for..ridding me of my stage fright. This heartbreak is going to make me a stronger individual. So, I guess this is goodbye. Enjoy your life and career without me._

_-Ally_

"She's right doc, she always put me first. To be honest I think that I'm the reason she gave up her dreams to attend MUNY. All she wanted was to be with me, for me to love her. Now, she just really doesn't care anymore. She even used the lyrics to our song, the one that's special to us and took it and basically told me she's done and to fuck off. She wishes she never met me."

**I start to let the tears just fall down my cheeks.**

* * *

"There's no rush, please take all the time you need to process this letter."

**I cut him off,** "No, I need to get this out of my head and out of my system now as in right now. This isn't about the letter anymore."

"Go on."

"What I wanted to tell you or Dr. Smith before I got hurt. I was in my room just thinking and writing when I got this urge to listen to music, which yes I know is not a surprise. Anyways, I decided to go on instagram and look under #AllyDawson and I."

"You saw something that triggered your anger?"

"I saw pictures of Ally and Logan, that's her I guess boyfriend now. She told me that they are official, but that's not even the half of it. Here."

**I hand over my phone, which by some miracle is not fucked! Thank you Otterbox military style case.**

**Dr. Jones looks up at me,** "So, this picture of Ally and Logan kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower upsets you? Is that it?"

"Yes, No, wait there's just so much more than that. And."

"Take a deep breath and just tell me what's going through your head as you see this picture."

**I take a deep breath, "**Okay, there's a few things that upset me about this picture. The first is well, he's kissing her romantically nonetheless, the way he's holding her well it pisses me the fuck off. Second, look at that caption! I mean she told me that she and Logan were official and then proceeded to backpedal and not tell me how he felt about her and that I would have to figure it out on my own. But, that's not the worst thing."

"Then what is?"

**I avert my eyes for about a second, think really think about what I am going to tell him next.**

"I wanted to be the one to take her to Paris. I wanted to be the one that was there with her. I'm the one that wanted to travel the world with her." **I open my eyes and look at Dr. Jones and he feels bad for me. I don't want people feeling bad for me. I came here for help, not for sympathy. He takes his hand and puts it on my shoulder something's doctors do in order to comfort their patients.**

**I continue on as I feel my breathing increase and become heavy,** "I understand why Logan could fall for her the way he has. I'm still in love with her. I spent so much time looking for the perfect girl everywhere else that I."

"Austin, now don't get angry. While you were unconscious, I decided to go to your room to get Ally's songbook."

"I can already see it." **I deadpan.**

**Dr. Jones continues**, "The second you went through the glass. Dr. Smith said she would deal with Cole, that you only made some progress with the contents inside it. We're going to continue where you two left off. Why don't you read another entry of Ally's? Maybe it will help you feel close to her even though she's what to you feels like a million miles away."

"Please hand me Ally's songbook off your desk."

**Dr. Jones hands me Ally's songbook, but there's no date on this and since it's closer to her last entry this had to be a month or two before she left me and went on tour. I take a deep breath and start reading the entry out loud:**

_Dear Songbook:_

_I love Austin. I'm so in love with him that it hurts, it kills me because there's no way that he will ever feel the same way about me. There's nothing special about me. I'm the girl that loves to read, the one that loves to just watch movies, the one that loves to read William Blake's poetry. Yet, I find myself feeling that my life resembles more that of Sylvia Plath lately. Other than my music, Trish, Dez who else do I really have? Not the one person I've wanted to be with since the day he played the drums with corn dogs. I just can't do this anymore. I don't want to live anymore, I often think that everyone in my life would be so much better off if I weren't around. Austin, let's face it. He doesn't see me, half the time he doesn't even acknowledge my presence. He doesn't look at or smile at me the way he used to. Yet, he looks at other women the way I want him to look at me, gives them the attention that they want. Me. No, he just uses me for sex, his own desires, just to spit me up and chew me out. He doesn't truly care about me anymore. I used to think that we were un-stoppable and un-breakable, but that's been over for a really long time. _

**_I need to let go of him and everything and everyone else in my life to do what I have to do. Goodbye._**

_-Ally_

"Austin talk to me about this entry."

"She, she, she." **I stutter out**. "She compared herself with Sylvia Plath." I let a single tear slip down my cheek, then wipe it away with my thumb."I'm not into poetry like she was but Sylvia Plath she committed suicide. She was depressed like it appears Ally was when she wrote this entry. She-" **I stutter out.** "Oh my god!"

**I point out the the very last two sentences to Dr. Jones and we just give each other a knowing look.**

* * *

A/N: I know its been a week, but I hope this was worth the wait. We found out what happened to Austin. Austin's making even more progress and well the very end. Did you guys catch on to what I was alluding to in regards to Ally or no? I gave clues, but don't hesitate if you have questions to pm me. I hope that the songbook entry is one that you all understand. This chapter is crazy long, I could have made it longer but decided to cut it in half. I worked very hard on this chapter, so please review and I hope that you liked it.


	44. All Sorts of Irreparable Damage?

A/N: You guys rock! Thanks for the reviews! I've been crazy busy and I would prefer taking the time to give you quality over some haphazard chapter sloppily thrown together. Then, I was just feeling crazy exhausted after work yesterday.

**Viewer Discretion is Advised: Serious subject matter, if after reading the first paragraph or so, it gets to be too much, then skip it. This chapter is extremely important to my story. By the end of the chapter, you will understand just how damaging a persons words and actions can affect someone they supposedly love. You should understand that he caused irreparable emotional damage to her.**

Just a reminder: Both Ally and Austin in my story are Out Of Character. I worked insanely hard on it all morning pretty much. Crossing fingers it was worth the wait! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

**With shaky hands sitting up on the couch.. I point out the very last two sentences to Dr. Jones and we give each other a knowing look.**

"Austin?" He says shaking me out of this trance I've been in. It feels like I'm not even in my own body right now.

"Yes, Dr. Jones?"

"I need you to say these words again out loud in Ally's songbook."

"Do I really have-"

He cuts me off, "In order for you to understand how much pain you put her through, then I'm afraid that you already know the answer."

I take a deep breath and read out loud the last two sentences of Ally's entry with what I'm realizing is a very serious and cryptic message.

**_"I need to let go of him and everything and everyone else in my life to do what I have to do. Goodbye."_**

"Austin. Do you realize just how serious this is?"

_Do I realize just how serious this is?! What kind of fucking question is that!?_

While having an internal battle with my mind.. I'm unaware that the tears have just started streaming down my face until one falls and hits me on the arm..

"She was suicidal." **And then it hit. I took Ally's songbook and with the intention of throwing it across the room, but Dr. Jones caught it.** " She was planning on killing herself. This is all of my fault."

I can't even begin to describe the guilt that I'm feeling. I'm the one that doesn't deserve to live, not Ally.

_Too late for that Austin._

Would you SHUT THE FUCK UP! It's bad enough that I have to deal with the severity of the consequences!

"Why do you feel that this is your fault? There are other contributing factors that could have led Ally to this dark place."

_He can't be fucking serious! I just read him the letter what other 'contributing' factors could there have been?_

"Why?! Why?! Why?! Because it's all in this FUCKING entry! I made her feel worthless. I made her feel undesirable. I treated her like complete fucking shit! She obviously felt alone! She needed me. She needed me and all I did was blow her off. She flat out said that she doesn't want to live anymore. All she wanted was my love and you know what I was doing?"

"No, but tell me Austin." He waves his hand in the motion that tells me to proceed as if, _Go on, get on with it_. At least that's how I interpreted it.

"FUCKING AROUND WITH AND BANGING OTHER GIRLS LEFT AND RIGHT! I flat out ignored her. She thinks that I was just using her for sex and honestly I was. God, I'm so beyond disgusted with myself! I'm TOXIC absolutely fucking TOXIC for Ally. No wonder she left me and wouldn't stay with me. The morning at the airport I doubt she believed a word that I said to her."

As I look at Dr. Jones I can see that he's trying to remain un-bias but the further into our session we get I just feel like he's going to hate me. "What did you say to Ally on the morning that she left for her tour?"

"Well I was saying anything and everything under the sun to try and change her mind. I told her,_ " I love you. No one else. Only you." _

"Did you mean it when you said it?"

"I think I did, but honestly I've just made her life a living nightmare. I knew that I was close to losing her. Wouldn't you have said something if your wife was going to leave you?"

It looks like anger flashes across Dr. Jones's features, but yet he still although reluctantly answers me question.

"I love my wife, so Yes. I would. But it sounds to me like you only think that you love Ally but you don't really know for sure. Austin, how could you not know by now? It's truly a shame that you don't know."

* * *

_Flashback_

_I've been partying all night and brought a girl home with me. Yes, I just got laid before. I hear my doorbell ring and I'm shirtless and I go to answer the door in a pair of basketball shorts, told the girl in my bed to stay put and I'll be right back. I walk to the door and open it to see a disheveled looking Ally. _

_"Ally, what are you doing here?"_

_"I just thought that we could spend some time together. We rarely spend time together anymore Austin."_

_"Now's not the best time."_

_A voice comes from behind me, "Austin, come back to bed." The girl who was in my bed comes up right behind me without looking to even see who's at the door and grabs my groin._

_I watch Ally's eyes widen, " I - you know what. Just forget it. Goodbye, Austin."_

_I didn't even follow her._

_End Flashback_

* * *

"To answer your question. I don't know maybe I'm unsure of my feelings for Ally because of Logan."

"I sincerely doubt that. I think that you were questioning your feelings way before Ally got together with Logan. Isn't that the real truth Austin?"

_Shit, is he right?_

"Holy shit!"

"Did you just remember something? You've been in a daze for a few minutes now."

"I think I know when Ally wrote that entry."

Dr. Jones pinches the brim of his nose, takes off his reading glasses, "When might that be?"

"The night that she came to my house in the middle of the night. I had female company over and I was awful just awful towards her. She looked awful, worn out, and broken. She needed me then.

She said_, **"I don't want to be alone tonight. Please Austin. Just hold me. I need you to hold me." **_

You know what I said to her, **_"Can't too busy getting laid. I don't have time for this. Go home. I don't want you here_." **

Basically when she saw that I had female company who came out in just my t-shirt..Ally's jaw dropped. I was using her. I was fucking Ally only when I didn't bring home my latest conquest."

I watch as Dr. Jones clenches his fist at his side. "You mean to tell me that you were using Ally and you claim that you LOVED her!"

_Whoa!_

"If you weren't paying for treatment I wouldn't even THINK about helping you. You are one narcissistic man. I actually felt sorry for you that Cole did this to you. You have to ask yourself Are you even worth saving? It's my professional opinion you don't deserve Ally. THINK and I mean really THINK about everything you put that poor girl through. You know what it seems that the only thing she was guilty of was loving you too much. After what you just told me...I don't even think that I can remain un-bias any longer. I've been doing this for fifteen years and this is the first time that I've ever been truly angered by someone like YOU. So, if you want to try and talk to me about deserving Ally. Don't. I feel bad for the girl. You would be better off discussing her with Dr. Smith. I will only help with your borderline addiction and your physical ailments from now on."

"Dr. Jones I'm s-"

"Just don't. I will only help you in regards to your addiction and physical ailments. If any man ever hurt my wife, scarred her emotionally, mentally and almost physically the way that you've hurt Ally. I WOULD KILL THAT SON OF A BITCH! You don't disrespect women like that. Do you hear me?! Ever! Have I made myself clear?"

He gets up, "I'm going to get Dr. Smith because I'm not even willing to finish this session. You can wrap it up with her. Fill her in on what we've talked about. Tomorrow we are expecting all of our patients to have visitors."

Dr. Jones leaves the room to get Dr. Smith and she comes in.

* * *

"Austin, I will have to get someone to help move you to your bed. But first, you better tell me what just happened. Why did Dr. Jones walk out of your session?"

"Well, everything was going fine until we saw this entry in Ally's songbook." I read her the excerpt and she has a similar facial expression to what Dr. Jones had as well.

"Oh my, that's not good."

I proceed to tell her about the flashback I had earlier in my mind that is. Then, I get up the courage to say what set off Dr. Jones, " So, I think what set him off was when I relayed the flashback back to Dr. Jones. I told him that I'm pretty sure I know when Ally basically wrote that suicide note, entry or whatever you want to call it. Ally had come to my house in the middle of the night, I had female company. She needed me and I treated her like garbage. I said, Go away, I'm too busy getting laid. I don't need you or want you anymore. Now, don't quote me on that because I basically just paraphrased what I said to her."

I watch Dr. Smith wince, "Austin, I'm terribly sorry but that kind of damage is unlikely to be irreversible. The coined phrase ' Think Before You Speak' comes to mind and could have saved Ally a lot of heartache. Austin, you have to learn that you can't just say things that you ' don't mean' and think that all will be forgiven. Your mistreatment of Ally is probably part of the reason she left you. She was SUICIDAL don't you get that? She felt so alone, so afraid and so un-wanted by you that she wrote a suicide goodbye note in her songbook. The thing that you said is most precious to her."

"When did she write this?"

"About a month before she left on her tour."

She sighs deeply and rubs her eyes.

"I need you to think, I mean really think here. Did Ally after that night that you assume she wrote this letter...did anything happen? Was she admitted to a hospital for anything like cutting, overdosing, strangulation marks."

I shift my feet back and forth not knowing what to say to her, "I honestly couldn't tell you because she barely spoke to me and refused to see me for a few weeks."

"Well, you need to get some rest. Hold on to _your_, I mean Ally's songbook. My advice is that you maybe ask whoever ends up visiting you tomorrow to help put the pieces together."

* * *

Dr. Smith leaves and then returns with Jeff and Jordan, "Alright gentlemen, please assist Austin back to his room for the rest of the evening."

"Not a problem Dr. Smith." Jeff and Jordan help me up and walk me to my room in the house.

Jeff the smaller of the two guys decides to speak up first, "Hey, listen Austin we're really sorry about what Cole did to you. He's crazy, we go along with whatever he says because he's one scary mother-fucker."

"Why do you say he's scary?"

Jordan speaks up because it seems that Jeff at the moment is at a loss for words, "Well, have you seen how violent he gets? From what we've heard in group, about his sister and his family, it's not a surprise that Cole acts like a total fucking lunatic. Not to mention he fights dirty..it's like he doesn't have any boundaries."

"No he certainly doesn't. Not with the way he talks about Ally and is obviously out to get me."

"Yeah, what he's said about Ally. We're not sure how much longer Cole is going to be allowed to stay here since you have cracked ribs, but he needs to be in here because he's a ticking time bomb. If he goes out of rehab before he's ready and has made actual progress. He's likely to hurt someone, himself, or end up in jail."

"He does seem to come un-hinged rather easily. I wonder why that is."

"To be honest, we're not really sure either." We've now reached my room, we walk in and the carefully sit me down. I wince in pain because that's how much pain I'm in and the medicine hasn't kicked in just yet. "Hey guys, thanks. Before you go. Do you think that you could give me my phone?"

"Sure, here you go." Jeff hands it to me.

"Well, we're going to get going back to our own rooms. For the record Austin, we don't hate you. You're actually kind of starting to grow on us." I don't say anything and just attempt to give them a genuine smile as they leave.

Taking my phone in my hands I scroll to the music player application. I'm so angry right now at myself. I know the perfect song to listen to, while putting my headphones in my ears.

Linkin Park: In The End

_Seeing that my door is closed I decide to sing along to certain parts of the __song. I'm not entirely sure just yet what made me pick this song but I guess we're about to find out. Oh wait, now it's all coming back to me. I start the song and picture Ally singing mainly Chester's parts while I sing along to Mike's._

_It starts with one_

**_One thing._**

**_I don't know why_**

**_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_**

**_Keep that in mind_**

**_I designed this rhyme_**

**_To explain in due time_**

_All I know_

**_Time is a valuable thing_**

**_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_**

_No wonder this is one of Ally's favorite songs to listen to when she's angry. How do I know? I walked into the practice room a few times and heard her singing this particular one a few times. She loves Linkin Park. Come to think of it she loves this verse. She always said that life is precious and that we should live it to the fullest, even when she's pissed she's still optimistic._

**_Watch it count down 'till the end of the day_**

**_The clock ticks life away_**

_I shutter thinking about the entry I read earlier. She might as well have written "In the end it doesn't even matter." I grab her songbook, pull the book open to the page where she wrote about her ready and willing to leave this world. I wonder if she wrote anything else after that entry. I flip the page to see the lyrics, In the end it doesn't even matter. _

_Well, FUCK!_

_It's so unreal_

**_You didn't look out below_**

**_Watch the time go right out the window_**

**Its been almost four months since I've seen her. **

_Well, because you wasted time fucking all of those other girls instead of caring about Ally's well-being and once again careless with her heart. The heart that I'm still surprised is even beating right now. She probably sees all the years she spent on you as a waste of time._

**_Trying to hold on, you didn't even know_**

**_I wasted it all just to_**

**_Watch you go_**

**_I kept everything inside_**

* * *

_Well this part is true. She didn't tell me anything, she kept it either to herself or told Trish whatever it was that was bothering her. She was barely communicating with me then._

**_Would you have even listened?_**

_Well, NO._

**_Yeah, bastard._**

* * *

**_And even though I tried_**

**_It all fell apart_**

_Whoa this song is scary appropriate in regards to my relationship with Ally. She tried everything to gain my love and get my attention. I didn't even acknowledge her._

**_What it meant to me will eventually_**

**_Be a memory of a time when_**

_I've tried so hard_

_And got so far_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall_

_To lose it all_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter_

_One thing, I don't know why_

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_

_Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme_

_To remind myself how_

_I tried so hard_

_No you didn't!_

**_In spite of the way you were mocking me_**

**_Acting like I was part of your property_**

**_Remembering all the times you fought with me_**

**_I'm surprised, it_**

**_Got so far_**

* * *

_I did act like she was my property. I would sabotage anything that involved her with another guy. It was the case of I didn't want her, but I didn't want anyone else to have her. I fought with her so many times it's despicable. I would even start fights with her for no reason. Why did I do that?_

**_Because you're an asshole. A narcissistic asshole._**

_I don't even have an argument for that._

**_Well, don't even think I'm going to let what you said to Ally and what caused Dr. Jones to refuse finishing his therapy session with you. Because I'm not. You are going to live with this pain and the fact that you are in fact the sole reason Ally almost committed Suicide. _****_Now, whenever we get out of this rehabilitation center, you're going straight to the press and apologize with tears genuine tears in your eyes and apologize for everything that you've done to make her life hell. Now, I'm not saying that the world needs to know the gory details of your disgusting behavior, but that's what will happen._**

* * *

**_Things aren't the way they were before_**

**_You wouldn't even recognize me any more_**

**_Not that you knew me back then_**

**_But it all comes back to me_**

**_In the end_**

**_You kept everything inside_**

**_And even though I tried_**

**_It all fell apart_**

**_What it meant to me will eventually_**

**_Be a memory_**

**_Of a time when_**

_Would I even recognize Ally? Its been close to four months. She's in a relationship with Logan now. She could have changed._

**_I've tried so hard_**

**_And got so far_**

**_But in the end_**

**_It doesn't even matter_**

It's pretty self-explanatory but this is the part where Ally is giving up and moving on without me. All she wanted was for us to be together and she just walked away from me. It's pretty evident now that I think about it that she's stuck around after all those years because she wanted us to settle down, get married and her efforts were obviously futile.

**_I had to fall_**

**_To lose it all_**

**_But in the end_**

**_It doesn't even matter_**

**_I've put my trust in you_**

**_Pushed as far as I can go_**

**_For all this_**

**_There's only one thing you should've known_**

_I've put my trust in you_

_Pushed as far as I can go_

_For all this_

_There's only one thing you should've known_

_I've tried so hard_

_And got so far_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall_

_To lose it all_

_But in the end_

_It doesn't even matter_

_..._

**I pushed her to her limit. She left me, and it's all my fault. She put her trust and faith in me and I failed her. Like the song suggests in the pain throughout the song I killed Ally inside. SO much so, that she was very close to committing suicide. For all I know she may have tried and failed. And those are the last thoughts I have before I feel myself drift off to sleep.**

* * *

**A/N: For those of you who were able to read this chapter completely. Kudos! **

***** To be clear as I don't want any of you even remotely confused*****

**See, Ally may have looked or appeared okay on the outside. But, that was not the case. **

**The entry that Dr. Jones, Austin and Dr. Smith discussed was in fact Ally saying Goodbye with the intention of killing herself. **

**She had tried so hard to get Austin to love and accept her, he just kept tossing her away like she was garbage. He made her feel so worthless that Ally, yes Ally was going to commit suicide. You'll find out what happened in regards to if she attempted that night or not or in the following weeks she refused to see or speak to him. All in due time.**

**I'm well aware that this is a HEAVY chapter, but kindly review. I need to know if you even appreciate meaningful chapters like this. Thanks, love you guys! xo**


	45. Dirty Little Secret

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics either.**

* * *

**Austin's POV**

_I had kicked out my female company and booty call shortly after banging her another three times before sending her sweet ass on her way. I had thrown on a coat and had grabbed my keys and gotten into my car to drive to Ally's. It was extremely windy out, then again you can expect that from hurricane season. When I reached her house, I saw tree branches from the Oak Tree swaying violently back and forth. The winds must be blowing at least thirty to forty miles per hour. I pulled into her driveway parking my car. I tried calling her, then got out of the car with my hair getting completely messed up and wind blown, rung the doorbell, she didn't answer._

_I sent her a text to come downstairs because I'm outside and once again I got no response. None._

_She normally jumps and immediately responds when I contact her. No one really knows that Ally is just my dirty little secret, everyone just thinks that we're still only partners._

_I tried calling her one more time, it then went straight to voice-mail instead of the usual incessant ringing that I'm used to whenever she's sleeping. She really needs to get rid of that fucking flip phone, it might as well be considered one of the endangered species of cell phones. Who even has a flip phone that I know anymore? I'll tell you just Ally, the rest of us have the most high-tech smartphones, but that's besides the point. I came to apologize to her and have mind-blowing makeup sex. I was going to give it to her good, so much so that she'd want to bang at least another few times and maybe even let me stay the night with her. Not to cuddle, because I don't do that with her. Normally, we bang and then I tell her that she has to leave._

_I know that she keeps an extra house key under the doormat, so I crouch down and take the__ key out from underneath the welcome mat, once I put the key in the door to turn it to let myself in. When I open the door it creaks, there's music blasting from I'm guessing her bedroom._

_"ALLY? ALLY, ARE YOU HERE? ALLY!"_

_The All-American Rejects: Dirty Little Secret_

_Let me know that I've done wrong_  
_When I've known this all along_  
_I go around a time or two_  
_Just to waste my time with you_

_Tell me all that you've thrown away_  
_Find out games you don't wanna play_  
_You are the only one that needs to know_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_  
_(Dirty little secret)_  
**_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_**  
_(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)_

_My dirty little secret_

_When we live such fragile lives_

_It's the best way we survive_  
_I go around a time or two_  
**_Just to waste my time with you_**

_Tell me all that you've thrown away_  
_Find out games you don't wanna play_  
_You are the only one that needs to know_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_  
_(Dirty little secret)_  
_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_  
_(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)_

_My dirty little secret_

_The song continues to play and Still no answer._

_I run up the mahogany stairs, holding onto the wooden railing as I ascend them to go towards the direction of her bedroom. I walk through the dimly lit hallway, with only a nightlight really to guide me towards her room. I see that the doorway isn't blocked and it's wide open and see that only her desk light is on. When I walk into her room, I turn her light on and I see that there are papers scattered all over her desk, her bed isn't made, and there are a few pictures turned down. I turn the pictures up and see that they are all pictures of Ally and I. _

_I scoff, "What a Bitch!"_

_I put the pictures back where they belong and make sure that wherever she is in her room that they are in her line of sight, so she has to look at them. I continue to peruse around her room and notice her songbook lying on the floor, it appears that there's blood stains on the wooden floor. I shake my head thinking that it's just possible that Ally just got her period, well she wasn't expecting it. I take my eyes off the floor and bring my attention to her bed which look completely disheveled. The blankets are bunched up at the end, there's a bag of empty chips, candy wrappers and other stuff all over it. I see one of her favorite stuffed animals which happens to be a white seal. It's then that I notice that there's an envelope on her pillow with my name on it. I pick it up, smirk tearing open the envelope. Maybe she has a surprise for me?_

_I unfold the piece of paper. _

_It reads:_

_Dear Austin, _

_I loved you. I hope that your life is everything you want it to be and more. Goodbye._

_Your Dirty Little Secret, Ally_

_As I inspect the letter more carefully it appears to be tear stained as the ink is smudged, but there's also blood smeared on it. I start to panic and call out to her. I can't believe she just signed a fucking note like this. She must be really pissed, wherever she's hiding she obviously planned this because as I walk over to her I pod I see that the song is set to go on repeat._

_"Come on Baby, answer me." I'm now yelling out to her as my voice bounces off the walls inside her bedroom._

_Who has to know?_

_Who has to know?_  
**_The way she feels inside_**  
_(Inside)_  
**_Those thoughts I can't deny_**  
_(Deny)_  
**_These sleeping dogs won't lie_**  
_(Won't lie)_  
**_And now I try to lie_**  
**_It's eating me apart_**  
**_Trace this life back_**

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_  
_(Dirty little secret)_  
_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_  
_(Just another regret)_

_There's a sudden gust of wind causing the room to become chilled, leaving me feeling chilled to the bone. I actually am starting to feel completely disoriented. I look to see the window leading out to the roof is wide open. "Ally! Seriously, where are you?! You can come out from hiding. This isn't funny anymore." I climb out onto the roof and look over the ledge to see Ally's body on the concrete below me._

_"ALLY!"_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret_

_(Dirty little secret)_  
_Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret_

_I sprint down the stairs and out the front into her backyard. "FUCK!" I reach her body and she's in nothing but a tank top, yoga pants from Victoria's Secret and it's on one of the chilliest nights here in Florida. As I look down at her, I see that there's a huge gash on her head and her eyes are closed._

_I pull out my cell to dial 911. It doesn't take long for someone to answer. "Hello, this is Austin Moon. I need help. My girlfriend is unconscious. I don't know what happened. I'm at 2557 Lake Boulevard. Please hurry." I hang up the phone and have to just sit here and wait for them to arrive._

_"Please wake-up Ally. Please." I cry over her._

_(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)_

_My dirty little secret_  
_Dirty little secret_  
_Dirty little secret_

_Who has to know?_  
_Who has to know?_

_She opens her eyes and looked at me for a minute, the look in her eyes I'll never forget: betrayal, disappointment, agony, heartbreak. _

_"I loved you Austin."_

_Then her body went still and completely cold. I was in so much shock that I don't even remember what I said to her lifeless body._

I woke up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night, waking up to my face wet and afraid to close my eyes again. It was all just a nightmare.

* * *

A/N: This is just a taste of what's coming. Evil laughter. ;-)

How many of you were like WTF IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW? Sorry guys, gotta keep up with the suspense.


	46. Truth Comes Out

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

**WARNING - Adult content ahead** explaining the fragility of Ally's state and what happened after she left Austin's completely shattered the night she was greeted by Austin coldly and a girl coming up from behind him.

Thanks for the reviews as always, but you guys know that I appreciate them by now right? Anyways, onto the story.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

I had to sleep lying on my stomach last night because of the stitches. Only thing is I actually didn't sleep at all.

I was up all night thinking about Ally. I probably look like complete shit, but we have visitors coming today to the center. As far as I know my parents are coming, at least that's what my mom said when I talked to her.

My back is still fucking killing me.

There's a knock on my door, I tell whoever it is to come in.

"Austin?" I know for sure that's my mother's voice. "What happened to you?"

I groan in pain, "One of the addicts attacked me. I had to get stitches, I have cracked ribs." That was all I managed to get out before I heard her huff and puff, still have yet to look up because I'm still faced down on my bed.

"This is unacceptable!" Mimi storms out of the room and starts in the direction of both Dr. Jones or Dr. Smith's offices. I'm not sure who she went to go rant at. I think that I'm still alone only I'm not.

"Mimi wait!" The female voice pauses, "And she's gone. Great, just great."

I look up to see Trish's stony face, "What are you doing here? I mean, not that I'm not happy to see you. I'm just surprised that you're here."

She walks over to the side of the bed that I have Ally's songbook in my hand."Listen, I'm still pissed as hell at you. I mean really pissed I was trying to help you, but you kept pushing me away. I'm here because you have a lot of explaining to do." She stops and then continues after sighing. "Starting with why you're sleeping with Ally's songbook."

She crouches down on the floor so she's eye level with me. "I've been reading excerpts of it a little at a time. You see I just got to Ally's latest entry about a month before she left for tour."

"Uh huh, and?" I can tell that she has little to no patience with me right now.

"Trish, she refused to talk to me for a few weeks. Do you know why or rather what transpired between us a month before she left?"

"You're kidding right? I'm Ally's best friend. After your fuck-fest with bimbo of the week or month my phone started ringing, it was Ally calling. Only, when I picked up Ally wasn't talking she was talking to herself at first and then started belting out one of Taylor Swift's new songs."

"Which one? Not one you would know, but fuck Austin I was in tears hearing her sing those lyrics. Give me a second, I'll pull the song up on my phone." She starts to play the song and the first thing that registers is.

_**Cause darling I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream**_

_**So it's gonna be forever or it's going to go down in flames**_

There was so much emotion in Ally's voice, she sounded beautifully, yet tragically tortured. If that makes any sense."

I just nodded my head, letting the guilt burn in my skin even more. "Have you talked to her?"

"Yeah, I have. Uh, she's." _What the hell isn't she telling me!_

"What? What are you not telling me?"

I decide to let it go for the time being maybe if I listen to her she'll just spit it out like word vomit.

"Anyways, so back to the real issue here. What happened when the song ended. It went quiet in her car and then she completely shutdown. I was talking into the receiver, actually screaming into the receiver and she wasn't responding. I heard her car door open and then slam. So, knowing that Ally I'm sure was alone I drove over to her house. When I got there I noticed something."

"What was it?" I ask her.

"The door was left wide open and it had to have been I don't know one thirty or later in the morning, I don't recall the exact time. I thought it was a potential break in or something. I turned on all of the lights to make sure that no one else was in the house with Ally. I ran upstairs to her bedroom, saw a trail of blood leading to her master bathroom. Once I reach the door, I see that the trail of blood continues, I'm horrified when there are huge droplets of blood on her pristine white floor. The trail of blood stopped when I reached the bathtub."

Trish starts to cry but pushes on, "Ally was completely submerged, her arm was hanging over the tub, blood rushing out of her arm like in a Saw movie. I yanked her out of the bathtub, called Jace. He called for an ambulance immediately. I tried giving Ally CPR, but she wouldn't breathe and she wouldn't open her eyes. I had her head cradled in my lap when I saw that there was an envelope on her pillow with your name on it. It wasn't sealed. It was just closed, so I opened it.

It read:

**_Dear Austin:_**

**_After seeing the hundredth girl that you have slept with tonight. I've had enough of this life. I needed you. I needed you to hold me and you couldn't even do that. I hope that your life is everything that you want it to be and more. You may not love me, but I loved you Austin. God, I loved you Austin more than anything. Goodbye._**

**_Your Dirty Little Secret Whore, Ally_**

_Holy shit. That was almost exactly what the note said in my nightmare._

I read the note that Ally wrote to you. I'm sorry Austin, but I had to know if it was a suicide note or something else. I was hoping that it was something else, maybe a declaration of her love, a plea for help, anything...but you know what here."

Trish pulls an envelope out of her purse. "Here's the note she wrote you. I couldn't let anyone else see that. I didn't know if there would be some sort of investigation or not. What could have happened to Ally if someone got a hold of it."

When I look at the envelope there's drops of dried blood on it. Opening the piece of paper up, on the right side there's blood imprint because she writes with her right hand, so she must have already sliced into her arms and just let them bleed while writing this. Trish memorized what Ally's last note to me said.

"What the fuck have I done?"

Trish just blinks at me. "I came here with every intention of yelling at you, but honestly I just can't. This is all too sad. What have you done? You destroyed Ally, you killed her emotionally. That wasn't her only attempt and fail before going on tour."

"What do you mean?" I'm now yanking the hair on my head, my fists automatically clench together.

"Well, for starters when we got to the hospital. Ally was rushed into the Emergency Room and they stitched up the deep cuts on her arms. She submerged herself in the coldest water possible as well. So, she wanted to kill herself, but wanted it to be slow but yet quick enough. Ally came out of surgery, the doctor allowed me to see her, for just a minute. I walked in.

* * *

_Flashback_

_"Ally, thank God you're alive. You're going to be okay, I swear."_

_"Why did you save me? I wanted to die."_

_"You're my best friend, I couldn't just let you go like that. You mean way to much to me Allycakes. I love you, but don't ever scare me like that again."_

_"I don't want to feel anything anymore. I just want it all to go away."_

_End Flashback _

* * *

I walked out of Ally's hospital room and contacted Lester and Dez. "He never told me anything about this."

Shocked. Confused. That sums up how I'm feeling about this right now. Trish just looks at me with the 'that's between you and Dez. I'm not getting involve look'.

"Jace came racing down the hall and opened his arms for me to cry in which I did."

"You didn't think to call me?" There's edge in my voice, I'm officially fucking pissed off.

"It wouldn't have mattered. Ally even said so herself when she quoted Linkin Park in her songbook.

_In the End it doesn't even matter._

She didn't matter to you then. If she did, then **you** would have comforted her when the only arms that she wanted to be in were **yours**. After her first attempt we wanted to make sure that Ally understood that even though **you don't love her,** that we do and that we're always here for her when she needs us. About a week before Ronnie called her to go on tour, she tried to kill herself again by overdosing insanely on sleeping pills. Dez went to check on her after leaving you at your house with your flavor of the week, when he got there she was passed out on the floor in the living room with an empty pill bottle next to her body. They were able to pump the contents out of her system. Dez was the one that found her that time though. That's how toxic and just how much she wanted to get away from you. A life with you in it, where Ally doesn't matter. You made her feel like she was nothing, nothing special. You constantly mocked her when she changed up her wardrobe to something sexier! You basically called her a prostitute and told her that no one would ever love her. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Trish."

"Save it. I'm not done with you yet, but I have other reasons why I'm here."

"I'm listening."

"Ally mentioned that some guy is messing with you. Is he the same asshole that just attacked you?"

I stay quiet, she completely reams into me.

"God fucking damn it, Austin! Tell me what's going on. It's the least you could do. Your shortcomings and fuck ups don't only effect you. You know? I've been away from my best friend for four months. It hurts me when she's so far away and that I can't hold her when she just wants to cry. I still can't even manage to find you a decent songwriter. Your parents are worried sick about you. I'm sick of the Austin Moon Special. The wannabee Playboy. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? Get it through your thick skull! NO ONE ELSE IS EVER GOING TO BE ALLY! Don't you get that? Ally's Special, you fucked everything up because lord knows why. I still don't understand why that you think that Every time you try to replace her, you think you'll find someone better. You're not, you know what you end up with yet another failed excuse of an attempt at an intimate and meaningful relationship. You're going to end up alone. Now, tell me if this Cole character is the same one talking smack about Ally. He better hope that I don't cross paths with him today that's for sure."

"Yes Trish he is."

"Bastard! He doesn't even know either of you. Why the hell is he starting shit? One things for sure by the looks of you he absolutely fucking despises you."

"Listen to me. He's a ticking time bomb, I don't want him anywhere near you, my mom or anyone that I care about. I won't even tell you the crazy shit that he says to me about Ally in order to provoke me."

Trish starts to rub her temples and sighs, "Austin, Ally's coming home next week."

I can feel my face start to brighten up. Ally's coming home. My 'Baby' is coming home.

"Oh, well can I come with you to the airport? I might be able to leave by then and either go for the day or be discharged."

"Austin, I really don't think that's a good idea. I don't think you can handle the truth."

Trish sighs again, "She's not coming home alone. She's bringing Logan with her."

"Oh. Well, I should be there. I have been missing her. She's all that I think about here in rehab."

"Alright, but don't start shit with her boyfriend. You upset her in any way. I'll kick you in your balls and you won't be able to reproduce at all. Got it?"

Ally's bringing Logan home with her. To our hometown, what the fuck! Maybe they're more serious than I thought.

* * *

A/N: Okay guys, it's my brothers 21st birthday so I'm off to go help him Turn Down for What! ;-) Loveeeeeeeee you! Review it up if you're anxious for the next chapter after this one! ;-)


	47. Not Ready For This

Um holy shit you guys! Thanks for a lot of reviews on a crazy short chapter! I love you. Dedicating this chapter to my baes :-*

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. This song is the SHIT Tay is the QUEEN! I don't own the genius lyrics.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

We're leaving Paris. I can't believe we're leaving the place where I realized and admitted to myself and to Logan that I am undeniably, in fact in love with him. I'm really going to miss Paris. The fans here were seriously awesome and just being at the Eiffel Tower with Logan, spending time shopping with Jess and Dez, honestly being the happiest I've been in a really long time. I'm actually really nervous to leave here and take that mini break from my tour. I'm so used to be going on the go and constantly busy and well there are reasons that I'm nervous to go back home. Its been a week since I told Trish that I'm coming back to Miami, bringing both Logan and Jess with us.

"Princess, so are you ready to go back home to Miami?"

I don't respond.. I just give him a smile, an unsure one, but Logan could tell that. I can't explain our connection, he just knows so he pulls me even closer to him and in his arms and snuggles with me to give me the comfort that he's sure I need. I sigh in contentment and feeling a little less tense at least for the moment that I am sure will be short-lived.

The flight from Paris back to Miami is going to take ten hours. We're fortunate that my private jet is luxurious and as comfortable as one could want. Here's the thing... **Am I ready for this?**

* * *

_Flashback_

_It was the night that I went to Austin's because I needed him I mean really needed him. In fact, after the girl of the day, week, month or whatever came up behind him I just knew that I had to get out of there. So, that's exactly what I did. I turned around and left, he didn't chase after me. I suppose that is something that I should have come to expect from him, I just always thought he would be my Austin, but let's face it I couldn't have been more wrong._

_I honestly don't even know how I made it to my car without collapsing on the ground. Getting in the car, I started blasting my new Taylor Swift -1989 cd. I have it set to shuffle and my favorite song on the cd starts to play. I'm so fucking angry and belt out to probably the best metaphorical commentary ever written as song lyrics._

_FUCK YOU AUSTIN!_

_Blank Space: Taylor Swift_

_Nice to meet you_

_Where you been?_

_I couldn't have felt more like an outsider than when he basically dismissed me. He was too busy getting laid. He felt so much like a stranger to me, I had no idea what happened to the guy I met that played the drumsticks with corn dogs. I missed that part of Austin. God, I'm absolutely fucking pathetic. Yet, here I was madly and yes insanely in love with him. The guy who was supposed to be my best friend._

_I could show you incredible things_

_Yeah, shocker he promised me all of that and more yet never kept that promise. As I drive back to my house the song continues to play._

_Magic, madness, heaven, sin_

_Saw you there and I thought oh my god_

**_Look at that face, you look like my next mistake_**

**_Love's a game, wanna play_**

_Talk about bringing me back to our first attempt at a relationship, a real one and more than friends with him. Talk about an Epic fail._

**_New money, suit and tie_**

_I can read you like a magazine_

_I used to be able to, the guy that bought me my Princess Crystal Shoes I have no idea where he went. This guy the one that has been sleeping around for what feels like eternity. I don't like him like this, I sure as hell don't respect him. How could I respect a man whore? One so caught up with being in the limelight, diving into girls.. the type of guy that puts Hugh Hefner to shame and he's the one who owns the Playboy Mansion!_

_Ain't it funny rumors fly_

_And I know you heard about me_

_So hey, let's be friends_

_I'm dying to see how this one ends_

_Well more like he came into my store and stole my song. We became partners and ultimately friends. _

_**Grab your passport and my hand**_

_**I could make the bad guys good for a weekend**_

_**So it's gonna be forever**_

_**Or it's gonna go down in flames**_

_**You can tell me when it's over**_

_**If the high was worth the pain**_

_Beyond fucking heartbroken for the millionth time. I don't know why I even bother. He's too fucking selfish to ever love anyone other than himself, let alone me. Poor pathetic, naive, unattractive Ally Dawson. I wish I had my razor physically or a pocket knife in the car with me._

_**Got a long list of ex-lovers**_

_He sure as hell does, yet they tell you I'm the one that's insane. Uh, have you met Austin's psycho ex-girlfriend from eons ago Brooke. She was extremely obsessed with him. Cassidy, I mean he literally drooled over her. Talk about making me feel inadequate. Kira too, that fucking two-faced bitch was smart enough to at least acknowledge the elephant in the room when it came to my relationship with him. Yet, she still fucking went out with him anyways, she ended up looking like the fool when Austin competed with Elliott for my attention. Oh, let's not forget Piper that manipulative fucking slut. _

_"Oh Austin, I don't believe in electronics. I only drink coconut water." She had him wear a fucking potato sack and he didn't shower for God knows how long all so he could fucking date her. Yet, the second our relationship had any trouble did he fight for me. NO!_

_**They'll tell you I'm insane**_

_Brings me back to the time when Brooke and I ruined a Princess Birthday party for Chelsea's little sister. The one that Austin went on a date with and had the flawless skin. Brooke jumped on me and I ended up looking like the Wicked Witch, yet Brooke thinks I'm the crazy one. _

_Or how about the time when Kira thought I was so crazy that I would actually sabotage her and Austin's date. Don't even get me started on that one. I planned the perfect date only for Kira to be allergic to grass and hate whatever food I had packed in the picnic basket for them. He liked my "Ally" nameplate necklace so much that he went and bought Kira one just like mine, well I'm sure we all remember that debacle. _

_**Cause you know I love the players**_

_**And you love the game**_

_Once Austin broke up with Piper. He didn't have any serious girlfriends, I'm not sure you could even consider Piper being serious. She tried to act like she was such a chill chick, but you know she really wasn't. Anyways, sorry I'm getting off track. _

_I fled Austin's house after at least the hundredth girl that I've seen him with and he's probably slept with thirty to fifty, perhaps even more. I had finally had enough. _

_So, I went back to my house. I wanted to numb the pain the only way I knew how. That was by cutting myself. I had sliced just almost deep enough and to let out enough blood that I was finally going to be able to get the fuck out of this world that didn't appreciate me. _

_**Cause we're young and we're reckless**_

_**We'll take this way too far **_

_**It'll leave you breathless**_

_**Or with a nasty scar**_

_I sure as hell had a scar. Austin, yeah fucking right. He doesn't have any scars he just causes them. Well, at least on my heart._

_Got a long list of ex-lovers_

_They'll tell you I'm insane_

_But I got a blank space baby_

_And I'll write your name_

_**Cherry lips**_

_**Crystal skies**_

_**I could show you incredible things**_

_**Stolen kisses, pretty lies**_

_I remember the time he kissed me and left me breathless. We were fighting because of all the pent up sexual tension between us and he was pissed that I was spending so much time with Gavin even though Gavin was the one that was my boyfriend. Austin was the fucker that told me to move on, or rather we should move on and date other people._

_"You spend so much fucking time with him! We're supposed to be writing a song, where is your head? In the fucking CLOUDS! Why, what makes him so great? He'll never be me."_

_"Uh, because he's my boyfriend Austin. Last I checked you're my friend because you are as hell aren't my fucking boyfriend. As for my lack of focus, shut the fuck up you're not even contributing. ALL you DO IS USE AND ABUSE ME. You've said it yourself that I'm not good enough to be in a real relationship with you. So fuck off!"_

_The next thing I knew his lips were on mine. I pull away, "Austin, what the fuck! Stop! I don't want this!" He was squeezing my arms so hard that he was actually hurting me. It was some time while I was with Gavin and I just stood there frozen, he stole that kiss from me. "Right and I'm the prince and your the princess." I got up to walk towards the car, he grabbed my arm and yanked and backed me into the brick wall he kiss was rough and filled with his need, for what I have no fucking idea. He didn't want me to be 'his' yet he fucking kissed me. Ridiculous I know. He had said that my lips tasted like cherry while his always tasted like pancake syrup. I'll never forget that the sky was crystal clear, not a cloud in the sky and I thought that Austin was being honest with me when he said he still had feelings for me. He told me to breakup with Gavin and that we would get back together and just be Auslly again, but that was all a lie. I broke up with Gavin, Austin was already with someone else. It was all just a pretty lie, he was with the next whore of the month._

_**You're the king baby I'm your queen**_

_The king of mind fucking women. That's all he does is constantly fuck with my head. It's like I'm in an endless and twisted game and I'm tired of being used like a disposable fucking Queen in Chess. Everyone knows that the King is the only one that the pawns, knights, rooks, and bishops are willing to protect. If the Queen was meant to be valuable it would be checkmate to win the game capturing the Queen or having both the King and Queen would hold equal value. I'm not stupid, I'm well aware that's unrealistic, but what the fuck do I care. My time here I intend to be limited._

_As Austin's the King, you can see where I fall on his list of importance. In his fucked up chess game, he cares more about himself and then supposedly cares about the subjects but as for me, his Queen he fakes it. He acts like a loyal king but he's the equivalent of Harvey Dent as Two-Face._

_**Find out what you want**_

_**Be that girl for a month**_

_And then he moves onto the next...to replace me because that's all he ever does. Too fucking stupid to see that I was standing right in front of him all along. Wherever I end up in the afterlife I'm sure that I'll get recognized and while this asshole may not love me in life, maybe just maybe he'll love me when I'm gone._

_**But the worst is yet to come**_

_Oh no_

_**Screaming, crying, perfect storms**_

_**I could make all the tables turn**_

_**Rose garden filled with thorns**_

_I was doing all of those things. I wasn't acting like myself at all to be honest. My relationship, well more so partnership was the perfect storm. Literally. Everything was spinning out of fucking control and I am in so deep there's no way out. I'm such an amazing actress that not a single fucking person in my life sees, recognizes that I'm drinking in the mornings, smoking, and that I hate myself so fucking much that I've literally looked up different ways to kill myself. I want it to be quick enough, but not instant. Everyone who thinks I'm a fucking coward for not talking about my 'inner turmoil' can go fuck themselves. Everything is easier said than done. Everyone expects me to be Miss Mary Fucking Sunshine all of the time and I can't act like that unless I'm on happy pills._

_**Keep you second guessing like oh my god**_

_**Who is she? I get drunk on jealousy**_

_But you'll come back each time you leave_

_**Cause darling I'm a ****nightmare ****dressed like a daydream**_

_I thought I mean honestly thought that Austin was tired of whoring himself around or was going to be eventually. I tried slutting up my wardrobe to catch his attention but nothing worked. Oh, but you better believe that other guys were showing interest in me. Okay, so I wasn't actually dressed like a porn star, I was just a sexier, more confident version of myself. At least that's how it came off. To Austin, I was just his worst nightmare, but really I just came in pretty packaging. Or so he thought, with my failure at getting the attention I desired and the way that I wanted it. What it did accomplish was seemingly what people call jealousy. He just got possessive and told me that I looked like a prostitute and that no wonder I couldn't keep a guy and that how could anyone ever want me. I wanted Austin, I wanted Austin to want me. I still remember breaking down and absolutely fucking completely losing my shit. Crying so hard that I made myself physically sick, that pain. That pain is what caused me to attempt suicide._

_**So it's gonna be forever**_

_**Or it's gonna go down in flames**_

_**You can tell me when it's over**_

_**If the high was worth the pain**_

_Got a long list of ex-lovers_

_They'll tell you I'm insane_

**_Cause you know I love the players_**

**_And you love the game_**

**_Cause we're young and we're reckless_**

**_We'll take this way too far and leave you breathless_**

_Or with a nasty scar_

_Got a long list of ex-lovers_

_They'll tell you I'm insane_

_But I got a blank space baby_

_And I'll write your name_

**_Boys only want love if it's torture_**

**_Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you_**

**_Boys only want love if it's torture_**

**_Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you_**

**_Chorus x1_**

_No kidding Taylor. This song is wrecking me emotionally._

_I can only wonder if my death will have any effect on him. You want to know the sad truth though?_

_It won't. _

_I'm already a discarded piece of trash, treated like I'm the Queen of Spades rather than the Queen of Hearts, when in reality Austin's the one that's the King of Spades. He destroyed me. _

_I used to be happy, some would have referred to me as the Queen of Hearts. Remember the Ally that used to LOVE LOVE? I **don't**. Probably because of __Austin's treatment and neglect towards our partnership, friendship, or the sorry excuse we had for a relationship..the only thing he managed to do tonight and every other night for honestly what feels like 496565757 years is just made me invisible to the rest of the world. _

_I'm no one special._

_He took that away from me._

_**And you love the game**_

_**Cause we're young and we're reckless**_

_**We'll take this way too far and leave you breathless**_

_**Or with a nasty scar**_

_**...**_

_**But I got a blank space baby**_

_**And I'll write your name**_

_As I lay on the ground in my bedroom waiting for myself to bleed out. I thought to myself, I'm practically invisible to him so I could only assume that if I'm given a tombstone that there will be a** blank**_** space** _where my name should be_._ Sadly though, I'm going to leave this world with Austin's name incinerated in my heart and mind, it looks like he's going to get exactly what he wanted. _

**_A world without me in it._**

_End Flashback_

* * *

I feel someone rubbing my arm, whispering in my ear, lightly nuzzling their head in my neck. I look up and realize that it's my boyfriend, Logan. I inhale his scent, he smells like Givenchy cologne, mixed with his manliness. I'm already feeling weak in the knees. It's a good thing that I'm sitting down. He looks really concerned, so I sit up a little bit more and try to reassure him that I'm fine, but I don't think that I'm even remotely convincing.

"Sweetheart. Are you alright? You seem pretty zoned out." He leans down and kisses my forehead, runs his fingers through my hair because it instantly relaxes me.

"Yeah, I'm just really excited for everyone to meet you."

While that's the absolute truth... Being home also means one other thing, I'm dreading the thought of having to see and deal with Austin and whatever bullshit he is going to spew out of his mouth.

"Okay, I just wanted to let you know that we're going to be landing in a couple of hours. Do you want to go over some songs together?"

"Yeah, sure. But first." I reach down to interlock my hand with the one that he has around my back. I look at him with a passion that could only speak volumes if I could actually put it into words. Our lips connect and we just get lost in each other's embrace, that's exactly what we both need. "You're my heart, Princess." He looks into my eyes as he says it and as I see myself in his reflection I can feel that he's really just looking into my heart. "Logan, you're so sweet. I don't know how I ever lived my life before you came into it. Our relationship isn't perfect, but we're great together."

"You're worth fighting for Ally. To be honest, while our relationship is easy there are times that even the perfect couple has off days and fight. The thing with us is that we're not willing to break it off over some stupid shit. I trust you, you trust me. Trust is everything, without trust there's nothing. The foundation of our relationship is based on our understanding of each other. We just click. I love you, babe." He takes a finger and draws an invisible heart on my hand.

"I love you more handsome." I mirror his actions and trace a heart on his other hand as well.

"Not possible." He says looking at me, his heart open and it's mine. We proceed to get distracted with looking at song selections just losing ourselves in each other. I honestly don't know if I could have gotten on the jet and flown home without him by my side.

* * *

Arriving in Miami

The pilot has just landed the jet and as far as I know only Trish is going to be meeting us at the airport. I haven't talked to her in detail about her visit to the Rehabilitation Center, but I'm sure she'll pull me aside for that. Logan and Dez start to grab all of our bags so we can get off the private jet. Once again, we're at the very end of the landing strip to avoid the paparazzi and to be mauled by crazy fans. The door to the private jet opens and I see a large sign in the distance up against the glass inside the airport.

**_Welcome Home Ally!_**

I start to descend the stairs with Logan right behind me, holding my left hand behind my back as we walk down it. He hasn't said anything, neither of us have. We just walk in comfortable silence trying to keep our nerves in check. I finally reach the last step and put both feet on the ground. Logan and I walk hand in hand, our suitcases being dragged behind us with Jess on my left, Dez on his right side.

After a few minutes we reach doors leading to the inside of the airport. I walk through the doors and Trish comes running to me at full force.

"I missed you so much! You look happy! Really happy Ally!" She embraces me in a tight bear hug and I squeeze her back just as tightly and she picks me up off the ground. We pull away, I grab Logan's hand, "I missed you too T. There's someone I've been dying for you to meet. This is Logan."

Logan puts his hand out and Trish surprises us both by pulling him for a hug. "It's nice to meet you. Thank you for making my best friend smile and happy again."

"She's the best, really deserves the world. You're welcome, it's my pleasure." I look at Logan and just beam happily up towards him. My best friend approves of my boyfriend.

Someone clears their throat, I look up and see Austin holding the sign that I saw in the distance, there's a **heart** right next to my name. I feel like I'm looking at a ghost as he appears to be pale in complexion and his eyes look hollow. It hurts to see him looking like this. I'm pretty sure I had to check my pulse, because my heart started to beat erratically. I haven't seen Austin in four months I don't even know how I'm supposed to act or what to even say to him. I squeezed Logan's hand a lot tighter signaling that I wasn't ready for what was about to come. The next thing I know,_ he's_ approaching us the ghost from my past.

"Ally." He sounds happy, nervous and I don't know a whole clusterfuck of emotions. When he looks at me I notice that his eyes no longer look hollow and soulless. So, basically while I'm feeling crazy conflicted I reach my hand out to shake his hand, he goes for a hug. God, this brings back memories of our indecisiveness when we couldn't decide between a handshake or a hug. There are camera flashes blinding me.

"Austin, aren't you supposed to be-"

We settle for what can be described as the most awkward hugs. Austin wraps his arms around me, while I give him a one armed hug and pat his back. "Baby, I missed you so much." He whispers in my ear, then I pull away as quickly as possible.

Logan clears his throat. "I'm Logan, Ally's boyfriend." Logan reaches out his hand to shake Austin's, their handshake is firm as I watch them closely.

"Austin. I'm your nightmare dressed like a daydream." He smirks leaving Logan completely confused.

_Did he just quote Blank Space? Oh my God! He's not going to tell Logan about my attempt at- No.. he wouldn't right? He wouldn't just rip the guy I love away from me..the one that truly makes me happy._

I keep eye contact with Austin while keeping Logan close to me since I obviously can't trust him near Logan. I hug everyone else who was there to see me at the airport. As we leave the airport I have a tight grip on Logan's hand, he kisses my cheek pulling me very close to his side. Austin's on my other side as close as he can be without physically brushing up against me.

Well, one thing's for sure.. the shit show that's called my life has just pulled into the train station. All aboard!

* * *

A/N: Well, this one was totally draining to write sorry if it wasn't up to par. Thoughts on the flashback. Did Trish surprise anyone else? Do you think Austin's going to tell Logan about Ally's suicide attempts? Or just leave Ally's songbook out in the open? Review it up! The storm is coming... very and I mean very very soon.


	48. Awkward

**Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.**

* * *

**Ally's Pov**

We continue to walk towards the cars and Austin won't leave my side even though I'm holding Logan's hand. This is pretty frustrating.

"Are you guys hungry? You have had a long flight. We should all go out to dinner." Austin suggests.

I look at Logan, Dez, and Jess for help hoping that someone will say something. "Food sounds great. I am actually hungry and have been craving American food while we've been away on tour." Jess says with a sweet smile on her face.

We reach the cars and decide that we're definitely going to go out to dinner. I'm relieved that I'm dressed in jeans, a cute red leather blazer and rocking a pair of black stilettos. Logan looks really good too in his green button down, jeans and chocolate brown leather jacket. I notice Austin's black leather jacket out of the corner of my eye. Everyone else looks presentable enough to go out to dinner.

"Ally, Logan, and Jace are coming with me in my car." Trish says in a way that it's clear it's not up for negotiation.

"Austin you can drive Dez, Jess, and Mimi in your car. We'll meet you at the restaurant."

He groaned while looking at me getting into Trish's car with Logan. Jace kindly takes mine and Logan's luggage and throws them in the trunk and closes it, then gets in the car with the rest of us. Logan and I are seated in the backseat of Trish's car.

Austin pops the trunk to his Cadillac Escalade and takes Dez and Jess's suitcases and puts them in his trunk before closing it. Austin gets into the car along with the rest. Once he's sitting in the driver's seat I watch him grip the steering wheel tightly. Dez in the front, with Mimi and Jess in the backseat.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

We're all sitting in my Escalade and I'm beyond agitated. I could have easily squeezed Ally and her boyfriend in my car as well. The tension in the car is so thick I might as well be suffocating from it.

"Bro, what's your deal?"

I glance in the rear-view mirror and see the girl I have yet to introduce myself to appears to be interested in whatever it is I have to say.

I turn to my right and glare at Dez clenching the steering wheel even harder. My response was, "Do you really have to ask?" the venom in my tone would be like a snake killing a mouse instantly.

Dez refusing to back down suggests, "Your knuckles are turning ghost white. Maybe I should drive us there."

I decline his offer glaring at him, "I can assure you that I'm fully capable of getting us all there in one piece." I then look in my rear-view mirror to see my mother shaking her head and Jess looking very uncomfortable squirming in the seat behind me.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

Sitting in Trish's car on the way over to the restaurant is comforting. I feel a little more at ease just being with my close friends and boyfriend.

"Hey, thanks for saving us T."

She focuses on the road but engages in the conversation with me."Are you kidding? Don't even mention it. It's not a big deal.. besides I wanted more time with you. So I felt that for once I needed to be a little bit more selfish. Austin can wait his turn."

Jace gives her a look, "Babe, maybe we should talk about something else. How has your tour been going so far Ally?"

I feel Logan's hand grip my own a little tighter while I'm sitting behind Trish, he's sitting behind Jace.

I lean towards him nuzzling my nose against his next speaking softly to reassure him. "Don't worry Tiger, I'm yours. Austin's my past. I'm with you."

He gives me a shy look his beautiful green eyes and every time he smiles I see sparks fly.

"And I'm yours, Princess. All of me. I mean that."

I give tilt my head up and give him a sweet yet tender loving kiss on the lips. I hear Trish and Jace aw'ing and feel my cheeks start to flush.

"Earth to the lovebirds. How has your tour been going so far?" Jace inquires again? I must have not heard him the first time because I was making sure Logan was alright.

"Great. We've seen so much and done so much together."

"You guys are adorable together!" Trish says as she winks at me in the mirror.

Logan absently draws hearts on my hand with his fingers. The rest of the drive over to the restaurant is light-hearted conversation, laughter filling the car.

We pull up to the restaurant called Bello's and after we park get out of the car. Walking through the doors we're greeted by the hostess and Jace takes initiative telling her that we need a table for eight people. We let her lead us over to the table, shortly after we reach it the rest of the party joins us. We were waiting for Dez, Jess, Mimi and Austin to arrive before selecting our seats and sitting down. The rectangular table has four seats on each side. Everyone starts taking their seats, Trish sitting across from Jace, Logan next to me, Jess sitting next to Dez. There are only two seats open at our table and Mimi and Austin are the last to trail in. The options for Austin and Mimi consist of either across from Logan or next to me.

_Either way I'm screwed._

Logan sitting across from Austin, or Austin sitting next to me. It's a lose lose situation. While Mimi and Austin contemplate where they are going to sit. I silently pray for the least objectionable solution.

My prayers are not answered because Mimi chooses to sit across from Logan who is on my left and that leaves Austin to sit on the other side of me. Austin takes his seat next to me with that infamous smirk plastered on his face. It takes all of my self-control not to want to smack him.

Luckily, I'm distracted when our waiter approaches and takes our drink order. I'm feeling on edge, wonder how Logan's feeling. As I look to my left I see that my boyfriend looks calm and confident in his chair.

_Thank God!_

When our waiter returns a few minutes later with our drinks, he asks if we're ready to place our orders. Logan orders steak and chicken, while Austin orders a NY strip steak. I still don't know what I want yet.

"Can I just have another minute?" I say to our waiter and he smiles with his bright blue eyes and nods leaving us momentarily. I can feel both Austin's and Logan's eyes on our waiter just glaring at him. Poor guy, it's probably because he looks similar to both of them and if I was single would be my type.

Logan recovers quickly. "What are you trying to decide between Princess?"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Austin grinding his teeth on the other side of me in his chair.

"Hmm, well I was thinking about Chicken Alfredo or a Burger. I'm up for suggestions though."

"Well, if you want a pasta what about an Shrimp Alfredo?"

As I was just about to say, That sounds good. Austin cuts in, "Ally doesn't like shrimp. Shouldn't you know that as her boyfriend? What she likes and doesn't like."

I kick Austin hard under the table with my right heel to show my annoyance.

Looking at my boyfriend, bringing our intertwined hands on top of the table. I turn to him, "Tiger, allow me."

He smirks because he knows what's about to happen, "Actually, I quite enjoy shrimp and have for a few years now."

"You never used to like seafood."

"Well, what can I say things change. Our taste palate changes over time things that weren't desirable before become less desirable over time. Especially with the willingness to expand our horizons and try new things."

That shut him up real quick, well at least for now. I settle on ordering a Shrimp Alfredo and about twenty minutes later our food arrives.

Everyone appears to be engaged in some sort of conversation except for Austin. We don't hate him, I swear we don't but the way he's acting right now..I can tell that I'm not the only one that's agitated. Dez is glaring at him even, I want to feel bad but Austin's trying everyone's patience.

Mimi notices that Austin is pushing his food around and even she looks annoyed as well. "Austin, you've barely touched your food. You love steak."

He looks at Mimi, then at Logan and I clearly annoyed. "I lost my appetite."

_Now you know how I felt being around you and other women_. I start to shift uncomfortably in my seat, Logan rubs circles on my hand to calm me. I really just need to get out of here.

"You'll have to excuse me, I need the restroom." Looking down at Logan I give an apologetic look letting him know that I just need a minute.

* * *

I feel like I can't breathe, my anxiety is being sent into overdrive. I'm half way down the hallway when there's a tug on my arm.

Please be Logan, Trish, Dez, or Jess! Just not...

"Alls."

I turn to face him rapidly losing my composure. "Really Austin? I just needed a minute to myself."

"I want to talk to you, you have had four months without me. I've been missing you like crazy."

I scoff at him rolling my eyes,"About what? Why on earth would I believe you?" I'm sure I sound short with him, but I don't care. I'm pissed as fuck right now.

He ignores the last part of my question, "I want time with you. I want us. I want Austin and Ally time."

"Oh really?! What the hell was that that you just pulled at the table? Huh. As for 'Austin and Ally time' you haven't referred to time with me as that since we were younger. SO what gives?"

"Baby, please."

"Not this again Austin, this is awfully reminiscent of our last encounter. You only pull out the 'Baby' card when you realize just how badly you fucked shit up." He stalks closer to me, takes my hands and tells me to just let him hold me.

I try to resist but he's so persistent. "Are you crazy? I have a boyfriend, one that is seated at our table right now. One that actually adores me." He takes both my hands forcing me to wrap them around him and when I touch a part of his back he winces in pain.

"Austin, why are you wincing?"

He stays silent, "Tell me. Are you wincing at what I just said or is it your back?"

He looks guilty, like he's hiding something. "Don't lie to me!"

"Uh, I got jumped while I was in rehab last week."

"What?" _He wouldn't lie about that._

"I got thrown through a glass window and had shards of glass in my back and needed stitches, cracked my ribs. It's not a big deal."

"Stitches? Not a big deal? Who hurt you?" I'm at a loss for words. Of course a guy would say all of the above is not a big deal. Typical. "Show me. Show me the stitches."

"Do you really want to see them?" Austin turns around and lifts his jacket and shirt to show me his back. His once flawless muscular back is now marked with five separate wounds. "Who did this to you?" I can't believe that someone actually physically hurt him.

"That guy I told you about, Cole."

"W-why? Did you do something to provoke him?"

"No, he was talking about you, disrespecting you and I lost it."

"Austin. It's not your job to defend me or things said about me." I gently kiss each of the five wounds on his back. I don't even know why I'm doing this, but maybe it will help him. I can hear his breathing start to get heavier and pull away, urging him to face me. When he does, I see that his torso is also battered.

"Your ribs are bruised. Shouldn't you be at home resting and not straining yourself?" He ignores my question though.

"Listen to me. I've fucked up horribly and I mean horribly, but I'm trying. Please Ally, please at least be my friend again."

"I don't know if I could trust your intentions Austin. You have a one-track mind."

"It's not like that anymore. I went to rehab for you. I went for us. You have to believe me."

"I, just - Austin, I." Can't even get the words out, what is it that I even want to or could say.

"I need you." He creates some space between us, not much though and tilts my head up to look at him. He starts to lean down, I can't let this happen. I pull myself out of his grip gently not wanting to cause pain to his cracked ribs.

"I'm with Logan. I can't. I love him. You can't just say things to me and expect me to fall back into your arms."

"Four months, its been long enough. Four months we've been apart and its been awful."

"No, not really. I found myself. I realized that my life is good, that I can be happy truly happy and that I don't need you in it. I'm sorry if that hurts you, but the truth hurts sometimes."

"W-what? Please, I know that you love me."

" We've been broken up for seven years. I waited and waited and waited for you, then you broke me for the very last time. I got tired of waiting. The space and time away from you was what I needed. I'm happy again, happy, do you hear me? Logan loves me, he really loves me. I'm not saying this to hurt you, it just is what it is. I'm finally happy with someone else, I'm not going to let you come in and fuck that all up. There's a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with someone."

"You don't belong with him, you belong with me and you know it."

"Really? That's all you have to say. You know what, I'm not having this conversation. I'm going back to the table." I start to walk away when I hear his voice altar and stop me dead in my tracks. "Can't you see that I'm in love with you?"

Oh, he has to be kidding.

Zero to bitch in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0. "In love with me? How could you possibly?" I turn around and march right up to him leaving very little space between us so I'm pretty much right in his face. "You haven't seen me, touched, hugged, or kissed me in four months. Oh, and having some girl on your lap and you taking a line of cocaine off her chest? Give me a break. I'm sure that you were out getting laid left and right every night that you weren't in rehab. I can't trust you Austin. Don't you get that? Trust has to be earned, it's not just given on a whim. You threw it all away. You threw me away."

"That doesn't mean I haven't thought about you." He pauses. "I've thought about you every single day."

"Austin, why did you quote Blank Space before when introducing yourself to my boyfriend?"

_The facial expression on his face changes from agitated, to serious, and is that his face contorting in pain?_ "I know things, things that you and I should discuss. Trish just gave me that letter you wrote me about a month before you left for your tour."

"I also have this." He pulls my songbook out from inside his coat pocket. "Give back my songbook! That's an invasion of privacy."

"I've been reading this since you left."

"W-what?"

"I've been reading your entries and I've discovered quite a bit."

_Mortified. I am absolutely fucking mortified._ My skeletons are in that songbook. I've written and done things that I'm not proud of in that songbook.

"Are you going to tell Logan everything?"

"Depends." He smirks.

"What's the price? What is it that you want?"

"You."

"No way! No fucking way! I'll tell him myself tonight if you're going to threaten me."

He interrupts me, "If you'd let me finish. I want us to work on being friends again. Come on. I miss us Ally. I can't get you out of my head."

"I still don't trust you, Austin. I'll think about it." He looks surprised, really surprised. "You will?"

"Yeah, I'll consider us possibly being friends again."

"Can I have a hug?" He looks hopeful, but there's no way I'm giving in.

"You already forced me to give you one before, I just kissed your wounds on your back..So, don't push your luck."

* * *

A/N: Thanks for the reviews and those of you who are truly supportive it means a lot. xo


	49. Boom Clap!

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics or any other famous people mentioned. I only own my story and my original characters.

* * *

**Dez's PoV**

Ally and Austin have been away from the table for a little while now. I'm about to get up to go check on them, when they come into my line of sight and towards our table.

They come back to the table, sit back down in their seats. I'm well aware that I probably should have sat next to Ally when we were first seated with Logan on the other side, but for obvious reasons I didn't.

In case you're wondering...The table is a decent length, but we're still in close quarters with our party of eight in the restaurant. Austin sitting in my spot with the window behind him in the line of sight with Logan, knowing Austin he'd be glaring. Hell, that's all he's done since we have gotten home to Miami. Even as he sits down he has a permanent scowl on his face it appears.

"Austin, come with me. I need to go out for a smoke."

"But you don't- I didn't get to-"

I stand abruptly as he stumbles over his words and he takes the hint. We excuse ourselves from the table leaving the rest in some relief. Once we're outside I pull him away into a more secluded space where we don't have to worry about anyone overhearing us.

"Dez."

"Austin."

"Why did Ally look like she was going to cry again when you guys came back to the table? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything wrong." He says rather defensively. I look at him with a Really sort of look, he instantly caves, "Alright, alright. I told her some things. Showed her some things."

"Start talking."

"That I've missed her. She was pissed about my stunt at the table."

"Well, that's not surprising because you're clearly jealous."

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous of a wanna be Justin Timberlake?"

"Justin's married to Jessica Biel, let's face it man Justin is the Prince of Pop. He's got a ton of swag and honestly so does Logan. Logan has Ally. That's why you are jealous."

"I know you, you don't hide jealousy well. Perfect examples, Ally with Elliott and Ally with Gavin. And that's all I'm going to say about that."

Austin starts clenching his fists at his side, "See, you just proved my point. Austin, I love you man but you're acting unbearable at the moment. You're making everyone around you uncomfortable. Even Jess, and she's seriously one of the most chill girls I've ever met."

"What do you expect me to do?" He starts rubbing his temples in frustration.

"Cool it. Maybe you should try a different approach with Ally. You're so intense right now. I know you don't like him, but Logan he's a great guy. He treats her really well and he makes her happy and considering that I have feelings for Ally too that means a lot coming from me."

"I hate seeing her with him with Logan. She should be with me."

I watch him hunch his body over and notice that he's groaning in pain. "Why do you look like you're in physical pain?"

"Because I am."

I look at him completely and utterly confused. "Did you get into a brawl with someone?"

"I was jumped while I was in rehab."

My jaw drops, "I didn't know. I'm sorry, you didn't call or tell me. When?"

He gives me some of the details. "When you said you showed Ally something what did you show her?"

"I showed her my stitches in my back." I blink, "Come again? You have stitches, when you were thrown through the glass? Wow, I'm sorry man. That's gotta be rough."

"My conversation with Ally was tense. She's really pissed at me, my leg still kind of hurts from when she kicked me under the table."

Changing the subject back,"What did she do when you showed her these... wounds?" I managed to force the words out even though it did not come easily.

"She kissed the wounds on my back and saw my bruised ribs."

"Well, it was probably just Ally going on instinct. You guys were so comfortable with each other for so many years for her that it is second nature for her to want to comfort you."

_Did he just blush? Yes, yes he did._

"I tensed not having any physical contact with her for so long at first. But having her lips on my body made me feel less tense and I felt my body relax. The warmth of her kisses made me shiver at her contact and reignite the fire in my yearning to be close with her. So, I told her that I need her." He pauses, "I love her, but when I said that I need her.." He pauses, "She said that she's happy and loves Logan."

"Man, she's happy with Logan can't you see that?"

"I don't want her to be happy with him."

"Well, that's selfish." I sigh knowing that I should be the one to tell him because I might be the only one he actually listens to about this. "I'm sorry man but she does love him and he's absolutely crazy about her. You can not only see it in her smile, but you can see it in her eyes. Though it might be painful for you look at the way that she looks at him and you'll see what I am talking about."

His body starts to tense and I can tell that he's going back on defense. "Are you saying that she looks at him the same way that she used to look at me? That's what you have to say. Not very helpful."

_It's like talking to a brick wall._

"No, you just don't see it as helpful. You're so close-minded and what you're neglecting to realize is that you are still making this all about you, your wants, your desires and your needs. Someone who really loves Ally just wants her to be happy even if it's not with them. She's happy man, just let her be happy. "

Austin shuffles his feet back and forth and then looks up at me and sighs. "But I love her, Dez. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. It's just, well, I'm trying to figure shit out. She doesn't belong in his arms, she belongs in mine."

"I know you love her bud, but you did things that changed her perception of you as a person. Right now she's with Logan, honestly she's the happiest she has been in the longest time. My suggestion and you don't have to take it, but you need to chill out. The way you're acting, knowing Ally I could see that she felt like she was suffocating in the restaurant. Not literally but figuratively. You're driving yourself even further away from her heart."

"You're right. I guess that means I'm going to just deal."

"We should probably get back inside before someone comes out." I give him a quick bro hug, "I'm here for you. Please try to get it together for all of us."

* * *

**Ally's POV**

I've been home about a week now and things started off really tense between Austin and Logan, but it seems like things are getting better. It's clear that they both despise each other for obvious reasons, but I can't help but feel somewhat relieved that they are trying to get along for me. Logan's not really crazy jealous about Austin because he honestly has no reason to be. It's refreshing to have a boyfriend that cares, can always be the one you can count on, the one that loves you unconditionally. It's amazing just having love that's reciprocated and not unrequited for once in my life. Austin hasn't said anything in regards to what happened a month before I left for tour, but I'm sure that he's going to want to have that conversation soon. I think. I keep hoping that he will keep his word and not just out my 'secret' that I'm ashamed of and very few people know about it. I want to keep it that way.

In other news, he's been spending a lot of time with Dez and I'm thankful that whatever Dez is doing with Austin is working. After the stunt Austin pulled at Bello's and we had come back to the table Dez took the opportunity to drag him away for a little while. When Austin came back he was visibly less of an asshole, he remained silent and ate the rest of his dinner. I caught him looking at me a few times and I can just sense that there's sadness in his eyes. I don't mean to be the cause of that, but honestly what am I supposed to do? I'm happy, I don't know what Dez said to him but he's becoming more bearable each day. He's stopped hounding me, but I've noticed that when he's not around someone he seems kind of withdrawn. It worries me, but he's also being nicer to everyone. It seems like he's getting back to his self, the old Austin you know pre-man-whore stage. I've taken some time to think about why I kissed his wounds or stitches and honestly it's because I care about him. I'll always care about him even when I don't want to. Why? Because he's Austin.

As for Logan he's loving Miami, I think that if I wanted him to he would move here permanently. I can actually see a future with us and it doesn't feel like we're dating just for the hell of it. I'm at the point in my life where I'm successful and just want to settle down instead of wasting time on idiots and relationships with boys who have yet to mature into real men. Logan, he's a man. What's awesome is that I can be honest with him. I told him about my kissing Austin's wounds and he couldn't believe that he was that badly injured. He actually understood without me even saying it was because I care and he felt empathy for him. Some might have mistaken it for sympathy, but I know better.. it was actual empathy because of Logan's dark past as well. He's also confident in our relationship and in the fact that we love each other. Ever since he sang that song _Jealous _to me and expressed how he's felt he's become more secure. I've been contemplating telling him about my darker days pre-tour and I'm still trying to decide whether I should or not.

Anyways, so today is the charity event that Logan and I will be performing at. Trish and Jess have been in contact and set this up for us about a month or so ago while we were on tour. We actually talked about it over that dinner with everyone at Bello's. Trish said that she had asked Austin if he wanted to perform, but he said that until his ribs are fully healed then he can't because "It's doctors orders". Could he have sung a slow song? Sure. But let's be serious, that's not really Austin's style. He would push himself and want to dance around the stage, it's not worth the risk to break his ribs again.

We have packed the tour bus Ronnie ordered for us with everyone attending the event with us. You would think that the atmosphere is kind of tense having everyone from the dinner when we came home on the bus, but add in my dad and Mike Moon to our list.

* * *

**Charity Event for The American Heart Association**

Once we've reached the venue Logan and I are rushed off to our separate dressing rooms to get ready for our performances. It's time to start getting ready, luckily Logan and I won't be on stage for another hour or so. The first thing I do when I get to my dressing room which is being invaded by Trish and Jess is to get dressed. Jess pulls my dress for this event off the rack and it's stunning I mean absolutely beautiful and so feminine. My dress has a halter neckline, there's a nude underlay with red lace on top of it. Starting at the top of my shoulder going to the top of my rib-cage there are about one inch fabric lines going down and across similar to that out of a diamond but it's split into four quadrants. The bodice of my dress is certainly alluring, but yet appropriate and covers the right areas and there's the nude underlay and red lace overlay simply across the top of my stomach. The bottom half flows down to about mid-thigh and a light and airy material. "This dress is stunning."

"You look so pretty Ally." Jess says. "Jaws will be hitting the floor that's for sure. And I don't just mean one either!" She smirks and I give her a high-five.

"Alright Allycakes, it's time for me to do your makeup." Trish the master makeup artist ladies and gentlemen. "We're going to do airbrush makeup on you because this charity is going to be a huge event and there will be ton of pictures taken of you and whoever is lucky enough to have you on their arm." Trish winks at me, takes the airbrush gun and starts lightly spraying the foundation on my face. What's great about this makeup is that it's so light that it feels like you're not even wearing makeup at all. Once she finishes my foundation. "Alright, now we're going to go with a light brown and gold smokey eye, with dark purple eye liner to make your eyes pop. Apply mascara, and a red lipstick. Sound good?" I nod my head and close my eyes and let her work her magic. "Make me beautiful."

"I don't need to do much because you already are."

Forty-five minutes later and my makeup is complete.

"Ally, you are on in fifteen minutes."

Logan walks into the dressing room. "Hey Princess. You look amazing. I just talked to Jess, I'm going to go on right after you. I'll be watching you from the side of the stage since we have our performances."

"Break a leg! I know that you'll be amazing." He gives me a huge bear hug careful not to ruffle or mess up my loose curls pinned back and out of my face.

"I'm looking forward to your performance. I really think that our songs will work for this charity because of the the symbolism."

"And now please welcome to the stage Ally Dawson."

"It's an honor to be performing here for the American Heart Association. I wrote this song with someone very special in mind. The lyrics are self-explanatory."

I take my place center stage in my gorgeous, fun, flowy red dress, paired with a heart necklace and silver heels. The music starts and my voice starts to sing.

_Boom Clap: Charli XCX_

_Boom! Boom! Boom! Clap!_

The audience starts to clap to the beat of the song.

_You're picture perfect blue_

_Sunbathing on a moon_

_Stars shining as your bones illuminate_

**_First kiss just like a drug_**

**_Under your influence_**

**_You take me over you're the magic in my veins_**

**_This must be love_**

I walk over to the right side of the stage and see Logan's smile just beaming at me. He loves it. Now, just focus on finishing the song.

_Chorus_

_Boom! Clap!_

_The sound of my heart_

_The beat goes on and on and on and on and_

_Boom! Clap!_

**_You make me feel good_**

**_Come on to me come on to me now_**

The audience is seated and clapping and dancing in their seats. Well, it is meant to be a feel good song. As I look into the crowd I make very brief eye contact with Austin who is with my dad, Mimi, Mike, and Dez. He looks completely confused like he's unsure of who I wrote this song for.

Well...

_Boom! Clap!_

_The sound of my heart_

_The beat goes on and on and on and on and_

I jump and dance around feeling the beat and getting totally immersed in the music and how it makes me feel. Alive. I love being on stage.

_Boom! Clap!_

_You make me feel good_

_Come on to me, come on to me now_

**_No silver or no gold_**

**_Could dress me up so good_**

**_You're the glitter in the darkness of my world_**

**_Just tell me what to do_**

**_I'll fall right into you_**

**_Going under cast a spell just say the word_**

**_I feel your love_**

I look over to the side of the stage again and wink at him. All consuming and epic kind of love and I feel it in my veins.

_Chorus_

**_You are the light and I will follow_**

**_You let me lose my shadow_**

**_You are the sun, the glowing halo_**

**_And you keep burning me up with all your love, uh_**

_Chorus x 2_

* * *

"Thank you everyone. Give it up for our next performer, my boyfriend Logan Carter." I walk to the side of the stage and he takes the center with the microphone. I kiss him on the cheek and then exit to the side and out of the spotlight. He's wearing his blue leather jacket and a red shirt underneath paired with a nice pair of pants. He looks so handsome.

"This song was written for my beautiful lady, but this is also for all of my fans that deserve to be treasured and adored as well."

_He's so perfect_.

I look in the crowd Trish is swooning, Mimi looks enamored and so are many other people mainly women but I could care less about that. Austin's rolling his eyes, not that that surprises me. It looks like Mike just nudged him. I stifle a giggle as I can see Mr. Moon mouth the words, "Knock it off! Will you grow up already?" He looks up to the side of the stage in my direction and smiles and Austin gives an apologetic look..which I am sure was forced but whatever.

The music starts and it's just as upbeat and I already want to start dancing.

_Treasure: Bruno Mars_

_Give me all, give me all, give me all attention baby_

_I got to tell you a little something about yourself_

He points to where I'm standing and sings the next line to me directly locking eyes with me.

**_You're wonderful, flawless, ooh you're a sexy lady_**

_**But you walk around here like you wanna be someone else**_

He's right. I did at first act like I wanted to be someone else. Especially when I was acting out of anger, pain, humiliation because of what Austin did to me. I partied too much focused on numbing my thoughts and my heart. I kissed a few guys and my current boyfriend on stage being one of them.

_Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh_

_I know that you don't know it, but you're fine, so fine_

_(fine, so fine)_

_Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh_

**_Oh girl I'm gonna show you when you're mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)_**

**_Treasure, that is what you are_**

**_Honey you're my golden star_**

"WOOOOOOO ALLY! HE'S RIGHT YOU KNOW!" Someone from the crowd screams, I realize that it was Trish. I feel a blush creep up my cheeks, look at my man who is smiling at me with his smoldering green eyes. I didn't know that love could make me feel this good, then again in the past it was not reciprocated.

**_I know you could make my wish come true_**

**_If you let me treasure you_**

_If you let me treasure you_

_oh oooooh_

He alternates between singing this song to me and looking and performing for the crowd. The perfect balance.

**_Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl you should be smiling_**

**_A girl like you should never look so blue_**

**_You're everything I see in my dreams_**

**_I wouldn't say that to you if it wasn't true_**

He looks over at me, pulls me onto the stage to spin and dance me around him. "LOGAN! YOU SHOULD JUST MARRY HER ALREADY!" The audience..well most of the audience is aw'ing in their seats. I'm enjoying myself just dancing while my boyfriend is singing his heart out to me when I catch sight of Austin again.

What do I see?

Jealousy. Anguish. Self-loathing. Heartache.

_Oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh_

_I know that you don't know it, but you're fine, so fine_  
_(fine, so fine)_

_Ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh_

_Oh girl I'm gonna show you when you're mine, oh mine(mine, oh mine)_

_Chorus_

_You are my treasure, you are my treasure_

_**You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are**_

This song makes me so happy that I don't even realize that there are tears streaming down my face like a waterfall. He really does love me so much. We continue to dance and Logan kisses my hand, the audience goes wild.

_You are my treasure, you are my treasure_

_You are my treasure, yeah, you you you, you are_

_Treasure, that is what you are_

_Honey you're my golden star_

_I know you can make my wish come true_

_If you let me treasure you x 2_

The host comes on the stage and we run off stage. We hear the host of the event say, "We're going to have a brief intermission and then Ally and Logan will be singing a special duet for you all tonight."

* * *

A/N: I had to split this chapter. A lot has happened, but the craziness is coming! That's for sure. We're just getting to the good stuff.

Hmmmm what duet could they possibly be singing? If anyone guesses correctly.. then I'll post the next chapter asap.

Should Ally tell Logan? Or are some things just better left unsaid?

Reviews are appreciated. :)


	50. Matters of the Heart

A/N: YOU GUYS THIS IS HOW I FEEL WHEN I SEE WE'RE AT OVER 300 REVIEWS. HOLY JSREHYSRTHTRJHTDJHTRD! I love you all so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel. I don't own the song lyrics.

* * *

**Ally's POV**

Logan and I walk over to our dressing rooms because I'm going to change my dress to fit the duet we're going to sing more appropriately. When we reach the dressing room I see the next dress that I'll be wearing and the last wardrobe change of the night for me.

"Great you're here." Jess says to both Logan and I.

"Logan, we're on a time crunch. I need to get Ally changed into her dress and I need you to go change your outfit into something more formal as well. Now! Go!"

"Yes, fine I'll go get changed." I'm somewhat irritated but Jess is right.

I pout in my boyfriends direction, "I really don't want you to leave."

"I'll see you when we're ready to perform our duet Princess. I love you." We stop for a second to hug. He hugs me with his arm going down my lower back and I encompass him, but hug him with both arms going upward and around to top part of his back. "Come on guys, you can suck face after your performance. Logan, kiss your girl and then go get changed into the outfit I picked out for you."

"Alright, alright. I'm going."

"Hey Tiger, I love you too." I smile and he beams back at me and exits and then ventures towards his own dressing room.

Jess pulls the floor length gown off the hanger and hands it to me. "Alright hot stuff, I'll unzip you. Then, you step out of your current dress for me to hang back up. Once I do that, then I will help you into this new one." I do as Jess asks and then she helps me step into the dress while keeping me steady so I don't fall. We're not by a mirror or anything because she said that she wanted me to wait until I was completely in the dress.

This dress is perfect for my duet with Logan. A floor length ruffled chiffon and tulle dress, with a scoop neckline which is off the shoulder with the most intricate beading. The bodice is a sweetheart, A-line style clear mesh material with beading at the top of my rib cage going up looking like a tiara. The rest of my royal blue dress flows down and looks very feminine. It's absolutely gorgeous and I can't wait to see how it looks on. The back of my dress has beading going down my back, the blue chiffon the the beading overlaying it. There's also a cut out that Jess fastens me into and the zipper that she zips up with her tiny hands. I hand Jess my heart necklace that I have taken off, she puts it in a jewelry box and assures me that she'll give it to Trish to hold onto before I go on stage. She hands me a pair of glitz-ed out earrings and a bling-ed out bracelet and insisted that I leave my silver heels on.

"Can I look in the mirror now, Jess?" She nods her head, "This dress is just-" She pauses, "Well, I'll let you see for yourself." Jess then twirls me around and into a direction with the mirror. As I look at myself in the mirror I feel like I'm really seeing myself for the first time. I see how much I've grown so far as a woman while on this tour and I'm glowing. My skin looks absolutely radiant. As I continue to look into the mirror, "Yeah girl, you look like a total classy bombshell. Are you ready to go on?"

"Yeah, where's Logan?"

"Oh well, I have you both coming out on different sides of the stage just trust me on this. I'm sure he's dressed though, so we should get going."

I've reached the side of the stage I'm supposed to be on and hide behind the curtains until the announcer comes to introduce us back onto the stage.

"Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. I would like to ask everyone to please return back to your seats so we could resume the show. Without further ado, it's my pleasure to introduce to you again Ally Dawson and Logan Carter singing their song _For You I Will_."

The music starts and that's mine and Logan's cue to walk onto the center of the stage with two-mic stands side by side. I take in his appearance as we walk to our places on stage. Logan's in a light gray tailored tux, royal blue button up and a silver tie. He looks so good dressed up.

* * *

**Logan's POV**

We've reached the middle of the stage and let me just say Ally looks just absolutely incredible. If she looks this good in formal wear, the crowd is right and I find myself thinking, _I can only imagine what she would look in white._

_**(Ally) **(Logan) _**(Both)**

**I clear my throat to speak. **"Ally and I wrote this song together. This song depicts the all consuming kind of love one that's worth fighting for. When it comes to matters of the heart, physically or emotionally...Don't ever give up or lose hope."

_For You I Will: Monica_

Ally's first to start singing.

_**When you're feeling lost in the night,**_

_**When you feel your world just ain't right**_

_**Call on me, I will be waiting**_

_**Count on me, I will be there**_

_Anytime the times get too tough,_

_Anytime your best ain't enough_

_I'll be the one to make it better,_

_I'll be there to protect you,_

I grab her hand and interlock my right hand with her left.

_See you through,_

_I'll be there and there is nothing_

_I won't do._

I can honestly tell you that this is the absolute truth. She really does make me want to be an even better person. Ally's made me feel things that even Tracey my deceased ex-fiancee couldn't make me feel. The woman standing next to me.. I wish I could put into words just how special she is and how incredibly lucky I truly am.

**Chorus**

**I will cross the ocean for you**

**I will go and bring you the moon**

**I will be your hero your strength**

**Anything you need**

**I will be the sun in your sky**

**I will light your way for all time**

**Promise you,**

**For you I will.**

She turns to face the crowd and sing this verse to them. As I look out into the crowd. I see the look on Austin's face and he looks absolutely memorized. I squeeze her hand and she continues after she takes a breath.

_**I will shield your heart from the rain**_

_**I will let no harm come your way**_

_**Oh these arms will be your shelter**_

She brings her free hand up as if to hug herself. She's still facing the crowd, but I can't help but wonder... Is she singing to Austin? I know that he's hurt mentally, physically and most likely emotionally but Ally's mine. He fucked up and that's on him. His loss is my gain, because she's the best thing I didn't know that I wished for.

_**No these arms won't let you down,**_

_If there is a mountain to move_

_I will move that mountain for you_

_I'm here for you, I'm here forever_

_I will be your fortress, tall and strong_

_I'll keep you safe,_

_I'll stand beside you, right or wrong_

**Chorus x 1**

As we finish the chorus we turn directly towards each other to sing our hearts out the next verse.

_For you I will, lay my life on the line_

_For you I will fight, oooooh_

_For you I will die_

_**With every breath, with all my soul**_

_**I'll give my world**_

_**I'll give it all**_

_**Put your faith in me **(put you're faith in me) _

_**And I'll do anything**_

**Chorus x 1**

_**Promise you **__(Promise you)_

There's an angelic tone in her voice until she reaches the bridge in the song. I swear it's the most powerful and hypnotic thing I have ever heard.

_**For you I will, I will, I will, I will,**_

**I will cross the ocean for you**

**I will go and bring you the moon**

**I will be your hero your strength**

**Anything you need, **_(Anything you need)_

**I will be the sun in your sky**_ (yeah, yeah)_

**I will light your way for all times**

**Promise you **_(I promise you)_

**For you I will **_(Ooooh)_

**I promise you**

**For you I will**

The song ends and the audience wipes their eyes and erupts in applause. We take a bow, then I whisper into her ear, "You look and sounded like an angel." Ally smiles at me and she says, "We do sound amazing together singing that song."

"Our voices just blend together perfectly. I'm so crazy about you, Angel."

"Angel?" She smiles at me and says, "I love that."

Once the audience quiets down Austin gets up and gets out of his seat. _What is he doing? _He draws attention to himself because he is THE Austin Moon.

He opens his mouth to speak but it comes out more as screaming,

"I WANT TO MAKE A VERY PUBLIC APOLOGY. THAT STUNNING WOMAN ON STAGE I HAD THE PRIVILEGE TO HAVE HER AS MY SONGWRITER AND I FIRED HER." The audience gasps, I grip onto Ally tighter, she puts her head into my chest. "ALLY, YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND AND I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF YOUR KINDNESS. I'M SO SORRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT I EVER PUT YOU THROUGH. LETTING YOU GO WAS THE WORST, I MEAN THE ABSOLUTE WORST DECISION I'VE EVER MADE IN MY LIFE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME."

_Holy shit. What the fuck just happened? I'm not even mad, probably because he's trying to get through to her. I also don't feel threatened by Austin._

"Babe?" Ally is just standing there completely frozen.

When she registers what Austin just said she cries into my shoulder. "Please just get me off the stage now, Tiger."

"He's trying to apologize to you though." I try to get her to see reason, but fail to do so.

"More like publicly humiliate me at a huge event. I don't want to hear it." She looks up at me with her face full of tears. Even crying and red eyed she's still so beautiful. How is that even possible?

"I don't think so, but-" She cries harder into the crook of my neck, "Please Logan. I'm begging you."

How could I possibly say _No_ to the woman I love? I bring Ally to her dressing room and tell her that I'm going to get her some water and that I'll be back shortly. "Will you be alright?" She mumbles a yes, I tell her "It'll be okay babe. Just remember that I love you." I kiss her forehead and exit her dressing room.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

I knock on the door with her name on it, she just says to come in. She's sitting on the couch, playing with the beading on her dress.

"Logan, that was-"

"Austin, what are you doing here?" She says as I stand in the doorway, push my way through it.

"I just apologized to you very publicly. Did you hear any of that?"

She's just crying and non-responsive and it frustrates me to no end. "Do you have to be so public with Logan?"

She picks up her head, "Well, he's my boyfriend and we are public. He doesn't want to hide our relationship. He's not ashamed of me."

That comment pissed me off.

"IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK? YOU THINK I WAS ASHAMED OF YOU!"

"I DON'T THINK, AUSTIN. I KNOW THAT YOU WERE."

"Do you have to constantly kiss him?" She looks at me and tilts her head. "Uh, not sure how you want me to answer that."

"You walked off stage when I wasn't even done apologizing to you. I ran after the two of you and you know what I saw? I SAW HIM ALREADY KISSING YOU. I COULDN'T EVEN HUG YOU OR TELL YOU HOW INCREDIBLE YOU LOOK RIGHT NOW." I pause, my voice softens, "That fucking hurts Alls, it kills me inside. Don't you get that? I haven't spent enough time with you. YOU'RE ALWAYS WITH HIM!"

"Oh, kind of like how I WAS ALWAYS with you. Accept it Austin!" She pauses briefly, sighing and gushing tears. "You treated me like shit. You acted like I was your own fucking brunette barbie doll. You have been insanely jealous! I GET IT ALRIGHT! I get that I hurt you, but you hurt me too. More than you will EVER fucking KNOW OKAY! You act like you give a shit about me, but YOU DON'T!"

The edge and animosity and stubbornness starts to take a toll on me. I'm about to fucking lose it.

"GOD FUCKING DAMN IT ALLY! YES, I DO! WHEN THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO STOP PUNISHING ME?" She blinks her eyes in disbelief at me. "That's right I finally fucking said it! The biggest mistake in my life next to firing you as my songwriter was letting you get on that private jet and not chasing after you." I feel my voice start to crack, try to fight back my own tears. "I've been going crazy without you. Everything is better when I'm with you. I'm not perfect, not by a long shot... but I was thrown through a glass fucking window and nearly paralyzed for protecting you and your reputation."

We're standing on opposite sides of the room and I stalk towards her. When I'm standing in front of her I do the only think I can do to get her to listen. I take both of my hands and put them on each side of her face and attempt to get her to look me in the eyes so she could see the passion burning so bright in them and that I'm desperately trying to control the fire ignited in my heart. That's the effect she has on me. "Baby, look at me." She jerks her face downwards and I bring it up gently forcing her to look at me. "I'm in love with you. I'm so in love with you I've been driven mad with jealousy. I know that you feel it, because our heartbeats start pulsing when we're close. How our hearts are beating right now." There's desperation in my voice, but I don't care. I need to get through to her. I take my left hand, and close my eyes putting my left hand on her heart. I then take her left hand and put it over my own heart. I'm still looking in her eyes inching closer and closer to her, our mouths barely brushing against each others. "See. I know that I've been careless. Baby, come back to me. I want you back. I will keep fighting for a love like ours. I won't stop. I know that you love him, but you love me too. I don't think that you've ever stopped. I think that you love both of us."

She pulls away from me and out of my strong hold on her. "Stop! You can't do this. Make promises you're never going to keep. What's next Austin? Huh. Are you going to promise me FOREVER? Or better yet the boy/man who broke my heart so many fucking times that I've lost count...wants me to have his children."

"I will, I want that." It surprises her when I pull her flush against my body and my hands tighten on her waist.

"DON'T! DON'T YOU DARE FUCKING DO THIS TO ME! DO YOU HEAR ME? I don't believe you. I can't believe that you're trying to sabotage my relationship! What in the FUCKING FUCK!"

"YOU WROTE THAT SONG FOR HIM? WHAT ABOUT US? FOREVER AND ALWAYS ALLS! DOES ANY OF THAT EVEN MATTER ANYMORE? I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, BABY. YOU DON'T LOVE HIM THE WAY THAT YOU LOVE ME."

"YOU'RE RIGHT AUSTIN! LOGAN WASN'T THE REASON I ALMOST ENDED MY LIFE." I release my hold on her, stunned the words cut right through me stabbing me in the heart. She continues, "HE WASN'T THE REASON I FELT WORTHLESS AND THAT NO ONE COULD EVER FUCKING POSSIBLY LOVE LITTLE MISS ALLY DAWSON. YOU DID! YOU WERE!"

Tears were now streaming so much down her face I don't even think that she could see clearly. My reflection mirrored hers we were both crying so much that there was no way that we couldn't possibly be dehydrated already. She stands in her beautiful dress and storms out of her dressing room.

"ALLY! COME BACK! PLEASE!" I call after her shortly as she's speed-walking in heels down the hallway. She pauses, turns around. "I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I ALMOST FELL FOR YOUR CRAP AND THAT YOU WERE ACTUALLY SORRY AND HAD ACTUALLY CHANGED! FUCK YOU, AUSTIN. LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING LIAR! "

_Fucking great_. Ally and I just got into another fight. I'm not in the mood at all right now. I see Logan coming in my direction with water and food probably for Ally.

"Where's Ally?" He look over my shoulder and doesn't see her.

_I honestly don't even know where she went and it's dark out and basically almost completely pitch black._

* * *

A/N: This is only the beginning of the craziness, it's about to get much worse. I had to split this because crazy long chapters you guys rarely read or review, this should hold you over while I continue to type the next part of this one. This has taken FOREVER and I mean forever to type. I'm freaking exhausted now, so I am probably going to bed. Fasten your seat-belts because the worst is yet to come. It will be a very bumpy ride. xo


	51. Life Shattering

**Shoutout to my bae: 1baby1t for guessing the song in the previous chapter which is why you guys have this chapter so quickly right now. No joke. It was the 2nd song she gave and I barely gave her a hint. ;-)**

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIKER BABY! 3**

**Warning: This chapter contains adult content, adult themes, adult issues and this is not for the faint of heart. Brace yourselves.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Austin and Ally or The Disney Channel.

* * *

**Austin's POV**

"Where's Ally?" Logan is now coming towards me and is nearly at the entrance of Ally's dressing room.

I think to myself, _Yeah, like I'm really fucking even in the mood for this._

I just shrug my shoulders towards him. "What did you just say?" He inquires looking concerned and why wouldn't he I'm talking to myself.

_Fuck did I say that out loud?_

"I'm only going to ask you one more time..Where is she?" Whoa, Logan's definitely in protective werewolf mode. He's acting like Ally's Bella, that she's fragile and weak not in mind but in physical strength.

"The question is...why don't you know where your girlfriend is?"

"Don't toy with me. I heard you calling out to her as I was exiting the stage and bringing her back here. I was just doing what she asks trying to protect her from any further pain that you could inflict."

"Listen Logan. I don't like you. As for where Ally is... I don't know we got into another fight."

He rolls his eyes, clenches his fists at his side.

"I don't give a flying fuck if you like me or not. You know, you really are an ass. I tried to tell her to listen to you while I was on stage with her because you were trying to apologize."

_Is he serious? He looks serious._

"I was the one giving you the benefit of the doubt. Look where that got me, now neither of us know where my girlfriend is."

I start to push my way through the door and get him out of my way, but he refuses to budge. Logan and I are the same build pretty much and he's solid.

"You do realize that it's pitch black outside, our charity event isn't exactly in the safest area in Florida. Don't even question how I know this." He says in a menacing tone pauses and takes a deep breath, "My patience is wearing thin with you and your blatant disregard for her safety. YOU DON'T FUCKING DESERVE HER!" He takes his suit jacket off and loosens his tie. Is he getting ready to fucking fight me?

"I know all about you! You pretentious son of a bitch! How could you use Ally the way that you did. How could you make her feel worthless and like she's just one of I'm sure your many sluts. She's nothing like that! I have never treated her the way that you have. She's the best thing that I never knew that I even secretly wished for. But you know what, your loss is my gain. She's with me and she is in love with me. Don't think I'm fucking blind, I can see that she still loves you but she doesn't love you anymore the way that she loves me. She doesn't look at you anymore the way that she looks at me. YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE ON HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT YOU? PAIN, ABSOLUTE FUCKING HEARTACHE. SOMEONE THAT SHE TRUSTED AND YOU ACTED LIKE SHE WAS FUCKING TRASH AND TOSSED HER TO THE SIDE. She's the best songwriter in the music business. YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FUCKING MORON FOR DOING THAT! You may not have cheated on her, but you know what...WHAT YOU DID WAS FAR WORSE! You fucking shattered her spirit. You turned her into a cold-hearted Ice Queen."

I blink rapidly in anger at him, my fists ready to start flying, "That's right she was the fucking Ice Queen towards me when I met her. Then again I was an asshole, but she knows that I thought she was acting like the Ice Queen because I told her that before. She respects and understands where I was coming from and once we shared personal details she softened slightly and played hard-to-get. She went absolutely fucking wild drinking, hooking up with guys at the very beginning of the tour."

"I remember that video that was sent to me from Ally's phone." I grind-ed out of my mouth in a threatening tone.

He ignores the warning totally un-phased, "I'm no saint, but I knew from the instant I met her that she was special and that SHE WAS WORTH GETTING TO KNOW AND FIGHT FOR THE CHANCE TO BE WITH HER. I LOVE HER MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE TO FUCKING COMPREHEND. I've been through shit, she's been through shit. Hell, we all have.. but your fuck up, your massive probably by the look on your face life-altering fuck up is what brought Ally and I closer. It took me months to thaw her stone cold and icy heart and she may have let me into her bed before she let me into her heart but that's besides the point. I FIXED HER AND MENDED HER BROKEN HEART. I felt an instant chemistry and a connection to her. When she told me the things she did, the things you did to her.. I wanted to fucking throttle YOU. You had her heart then, but you don't now and it's all because You fucking DESTROYED her! I am not going to ever let you make her feel like that again! Do you understand me?"

"I don't have time for this shit Logan. YOU ACT LIKE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HER. YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT HER PAST, WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE SHE LEFT ON TOUR." I halt my words for a second. "YOU'RE NOT THE ONE THAT HAS A LONG HISTORY WITH HER. I AM! I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF SHE'S WITH YOU NOW, SHE BELONGS WITH ME BECAUSE WE'RE AUSTIN AND ALLY. Just go fucking -"

Logan spits out, "If you care about her so damn fucking much. Then why aren't you already looking for her? I am, I'm the one that's looking for her, the one worried about her! NOT YOU! I rushed with the things in my hands because I had a feeling that something was wrong or going to happen."

"You're fucking nuts! You-"

I'm halted in completing my thought process and our verbal argument when I hear a blood curdling and awful scream from a voice outside. I'm sure it's a little ways away, but it's crystal clear as the fucking day when the sun is out and not a cloud in the sky. "RAPE! PLEASE HELP ME!" That voice ringing in my ears, forever haunting me.

I know that voice. Horror takes over my features and my entire body immediately tenses.

* * *

I look at Logan and watch his eyes widen and he takes off running in the direction of the screams. I follow him sprinting and just falling slowly in step behind him. The screams continue and there are no words for how much pain was going through my body. The closer we get, our worst nightmare is confirmed. We hear Ally's voice, for sure there's no mistaking it, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I can imagine Ally struggling right now shaking her head violently using all her strength to get away.

We hear a voice say to her, "Why your pretty sweet ass of course!" He chuckles. There's a guy attacking her and he sounds completely fucking whacked out of his mind.

I hear even louder screaming. I can hear her wailing and anger takes over my body. I can tell it has the same effect on Logan because he's fast, but he's running as if his life depends on reaching her. We round the corner and Logan tackles the guy, as he picks him easily off of Ally. I rush to Ally's side but she's completely freaking out, she's flipping out and when Logan tackles the guy. He's leaving a fragile Ally to almost fall until I catch her and hold her back. "LET ME GO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Logan starts beating the shit out of him and pinning him to the ground landing hits to the jaw, nose and repeatedly bashing the side of the guys head.

"LOGAN! DON'T! OH GOD, PLEASE STOP!"

I restrain her as gently as I can and grab her hand, she flinches as if she's terrified. She tries to wriggle out of my grasp but I stroke her hair to calm her. "Ally, do you know who your attacker is?" I turn her around and embrace her and she cries into my chest. I pull her away a bit so I can get a good look at her. She looks up for a second nods her face filled with tears and I watch as her head drops. I lift her chin to look at me and wait for a response. "C-Cole. He told me that his name's Cole. I'm scared, Aus-" She stutters out almost inaudibly. "He's c-crazy." I notice that she's shaking uncontrollably out of fear.

_MOTHER FUCKER!_

I get up and look at Logan to signal that I'm now going to switch places with him and plan to resume beating the fucking shit out of Cole. Ally starts screaming bloody murder. "AUSTIN, NO! YOU'RE STILL HURT! PLEASE!"

I'm so mad that I could fucking kill this guy. I'm so blinded by rage that I ignore Ally's plea and so does Logan. Cole fucking put his hands on the woman that we both love. Logan happily granted me silent permission as he shoves Cole back onto the ground forcefully holding him in place until I can pounce on him. I start throwing punches left and right, he's still on the ground. I bust open Cole's lip and there's a gash I just gave him above his eyebrow. He tries to get up and I sucker-punch him right in the eye.

He smirks and stumbles back and I knock him into a brick wall. "I told you that I would get you where it hurt you the most. How are your cracked ribs asshole?"

He lands a punch to my gut, but I don't feel it. Anger pure fucking insane anger rises up in me. "YOU FUCKING PRICK! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER FUCKING LAY A HAND ON HER! WHO LET YOU OUT OF REHAB?!"

Cole manages to get our of my grasp and desperately scrambles away from me reaching Ally and Logan. He yanks Ally out of Logan's arms but not without a fight. Logan manages to knock his head back, but somehow Cole was able to snatch Ally away. Ally looked fearful of what was going to happen next. There are tears cascading down her face as she's looking back and forth between Logan and I.

Cole has Ally!

FUCK.

He smirks and turns Ally around so he presses her back against his front. He decides to respond, "No one. I just walked out. I was even more driven to get out of there when I saw this Pretty Little Thing was back in Miami. I can see why you're so hung up on her Moon and why you're fucking her Logan. Why you both have fucked her actually."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!" She struggles, he puts the knife to her throat. "So Ally, which one of your lover-boys is going to save you now? Will it be fuckhead, self-centered Moon or my deceased sister's ex- fiancee?"

She turns her head to look at Cole and then looks back at Logan. "Logan!" She cries out, "Tracey had a brother. Is her brother Cole?"

"Yes. He was the guy who's best friend Tracey cheated on me with and left me for. I'm so sorry, Princess. I would have told you his name but I never thought I would ever see him again. I knew that you weren't entirely comfortable talking about Tracey either."

"Are you? You're the reason that he's after-" She chokes out, but Cole interrupts her questioning.

"Don't worry sweet thing. I'm not hurting you because of Carter over there. Moon, you're the reason Ally here is in this little predicament. You act like you're God's gift to women, now I'm going to make you watch as I tear up her I'm assuming tight little pussy."

She looks at me with a look that says, _God Austin, what did you do?_

"Now Logan as a fellow underground fighter you have a choice to make. Protect Ally from me as I thrust into her from behind or risk Austin here go batshit crazy once I-" The knife that he had in his hand was still raised against her neck. He tauntingly takes the knife and runs it up and down her skin, runs his other hand down her body hiking up her dress. Logan and I are frozen because we're unsure of how we should react.

"LET HER GO! YOU FUCK! FIGHT ME INSTEAD, HURT ME INSTEAD. TAKE ME IN HER PLACE!" Logan shouts at Cole. "Please, please don't hurt her. Please just give me Ally back or hand her over to Austin. Please Cole, I already lost Tracey please." Logan's angry and crying and there's just so much desperation I can't even predict what he'll do. He's trying so hard to reason with Cole, but I know that Cole belongs in a fucking mental hospital.

"NO. TAKE ME! I'M THE ONE YOU HAVE IT OUT FOR." I argue with him. He laughs that maniacal, twisted and honestly with sick fucking laughter. "Well, isn't this sweet. It looks like they both love you darling." He cups the front of her sex and then one of her breasts in his free hand. "DON'T TOUCH ME! YOU DISGUSTING ASSHOLE!"

She turns her head and spits in his face, then she bites down hard on his hand drawing blood. "YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT!"

He takes the knife lunges forward and plunges it into her chest, more specifically the area of her heart. I look to my right and see that Logan is about to nearly collapse on the ground. Cole then takes the knife and pushes it even further in and twists it, everything in front of me shatters."That's for not letting me fuck you." Cole lets go, pulling the knife out of her, throwing Ally against the wall and onto the ground.

"LOGAN." Ally cries out for him loud at first and then her voice fades out. I watch him rush to her side, listen to Ally talk to him. "It hurts so much." All color is draining from her face and she's crying hysterical and choked sobs and is now having difficulty breathing. While her face remained untouched there's blood seeping out of her body.

_This is similar to my fucking nightmare I had. When I found her on the cold concrete outside of her house._

Logan rips his button up and applies pressure to the stab wound, in which he's bloodying his very own hands. "AUSTIN! WE HAVE TO GET HER TO THE HOSPITAL. CALL A FUCKING AMBULANCE! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? I CAN'T LOSE HER, SHE'S EVERYTHING TO ME."

I watch his eyes focus on her. She strangles out, "I love you, Tiger."

"God, I love you so much Princess." He bends down and kisses her hard and first and then gently but only for a few seconds. They then pull away, I hear. "Austin." Ally cries out my name, I rush to her side and fumble with my phone. "HELLO." "THIS IS AUSTIN MOON. MY FRIEND HAS BEEN STABBED. I NEED AN AMBULANCE RIGHT AWAY. HURRY! We're in an alley about two blocks away from the charity event." I hang up the phone and drop it because I don't care if it shatters the glass. I don't care about anything else right now. Only her.

Logan on one side of her and myself on the other. He holds her left and I notice that he's rubbing her ring finger while applying pressure to her wound so she doesn't lose any more blood. I regain my focus, "Austin." Ally says again. "I'm so sorry, Baby." I look down at her with tears flowing down my face. I don't care if Logan heard me. I continue on, "I shouldn't have fought with you. I should have protected you."

There's a very real possibility that Ally could die tonight, because I've been so careless around her, it's all my fault. "Baby, I love you so much. We're going to get you to the hospital." She doesn't even have the strength to respond to me. "Forever and Always." I say and her eyes start to close and I almost forget that Logan is there. I look over and see him glaring at me, not that I can blame him. Either way I don't give a fuck what he thinks. "Logan, we have to keep her awake."

He looks totally shattered, probably mirrors exactly how I look and feel right now as well.

"Come on Angel. Stay with me."

_Stay with me._ Those words feel like knives went straight through my heart as it echoed the painful goodbye between Ally and I before her departure.

Fuck.

Logan starts to sing his song and a line or two from _Treasure._

_You're everything I see in my dreams_

_I wouldn't say that to you if it isn't true._

She weakly smiles up at him, then looks at me pain taking over her color drained face. It's then that I realize that she's actually very much in love with him and the pain in his face confirms it. He looks like he's being tortured with one of those medieval torture weapons or devices. I can see in his face and how he's looking at her that he loves her just as much if not more than she loves him. Dez was right. I watch Logan bring his hand up to her face to wipe away the tears that are drying.

It's then that I realize that I've completely forgotten about Cole. I stand up and Ally pulls me back down with the strength that she has left and tugs on me. I hear Logan yell, "AUSTIN, WATCH OUT!" Ally looks up at both of us with pleading eyes.

I turn my head to see a bloodied Cole coming towards us. The next thing we hear is a gun go off and I turn my back to Cole in an attempt to shield the three of us.

* * *

**A/N: Cliffhanger... goes and hides in corner because you guys are probably extremely upset with me. I hope you don't hate me too much. **

**I'm taking a much needed mental and emotional break. I literally cried writing basically the majority of this chapter and have spent hours working on and perfecting this. I have the worst headache right now from crying.**

** So, if you guys are crying then I've done my job as a writer and you feel attached to my characters. I swear I love you all, even though this was one of the most heart breaking things for me to write it had to be done. There's a reason for everything I write, much deeper than most think.**

**Anyone who is a wreck and needs to talk take the time to private message me and I will get back to you as soon as I can.**

**Reviews are appreciated. xo**


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